At this price, there is absolutely no way that this Dodge will be online by the time this story will publish. If it is, someone needs to go get it like RIGHT FREAKING NOW. Why do we say that? Easy:

1. It’s a 1970s Dodge Van. It might have been outlived by the Ford Econoline in name, but the Dodge B-series Van lived on for twenty-two years with styling updates and precious little else done to it. From church vans to recreational vehicles and, of course, shag carpeted sin bins, if you can do it with a van, a Dodge van did it and did it well.

2. This is a first-year B-series, and it’s this clean? You don’t see that, ever…the paint is gorgeous, the interior hasn’t sun-faded…even the fake wood on the steering wheel hasn’t rubbed off yet! And that’s before you get to the modifications…we don’t know who converted this Mopar bread-box into a three door, extended cab, snub-nosed pickup, but the execution is genius! We could live without the blue-tinted marker lights and the disc hubcaps, but that’s nit-picking taken to a new level. Get some orange lenses for the markers and a set of Dodge chrome slot wheels on raised-white-letter tires and you’re in business.

3. Big. Block. Van. It’s not a factory execution, but this Sportsman is packing a 440ci big-block underneath that heavily-carpeted doghouse. You win in every method available that isn’t a fuel mileage competition: want torque to haul whatever you need to haul? Done. Want to haul ass on top of that? You got it, bro. Plant your backside in that oh-so-1970s cloth inset Royal-trim seat, drop the TorqueFlite into Drive, and plant your foot. Happiness will trail along with you and the smoke rolling up from the tires.

Craigslist Link: 1971 Dodge B-series Sportsman Royal custom van