mandalaofsoul

MANDALA OF THE SOULA Spiritual Approach to the Art of Archetypal PsychologyBy Robert D. Waterman, EdD

Robert Waterman41 Verano LoopSanta Fe, NM 87508505-466-8385Rdw2110@aol.comwww.mystery-school.com© Copyright, 2011, By Robert D. WatermanMany students from the Archetyypal Psychology Class at Southwestern College contributed to theevolution that resultd in this work. I especially want to thank those students whose work Iincorporated in this writing, because they were able to articulate a level of understanding asparticipants that went to the heart of the message in a way that nothing else could.1

PROLOGUEWe travel when we read. Not just through the pages. We travel through the metaphor, the story, theevolution of the character and the plot. We travel through non-fiction as well—through the developingof understanding, the discourse and the building of complex ideas from simple to epiphany. We journeyinto sub-atomic particles and nebulae. Novels take us on a vicarious journey through an alternativereality. A science book may takes us on a virtual journey through molecules, atoms, animals and plants.In this writing, the invitation is to use your imagination and art-making to travel in consciousnessthrough simultaneous inner and outer worlds—to actively choose your life as an actual transport fromone state of being to another. In the journey of this reading, will you be a tourist enjoying scenery andsign posts? Will you move more deeply into the material, exploring the suggested experiments,processes and drawings? When loved, the written word, whether read or heard, activates the internalspaces that live in us and around us as Akasha--as quantum coherency, as implicate order, as morphicfield, as noetic presence, as kinship with eternity--resourcing the wisdom and realities of everydimension.If you are or have been a participant in the Archetypal Psychology course at SouthwesternCollege, or some other cohort exploring the material as a group, then this writing serves as foundationand guide to your process. Whatever the extent of your involvement with the Mandala Process, it is thenature of our spirit and imagination to explore as we read, listening to and traveling with our internalinspirations. The journey through these pages is a process that changes consciousness as we go. Thegestation between readings becomes a dialogue between our inner self and our outer process, returningeach time to the pages with stronger attunement and deeper insights. I place a priority on a student’sresponse to the reading more than the reading itself. I ask, “What moves within you, what arises withinyou, or what inner doorways open?”As you explore this writing, a subtle shift occurs in which your inner wisdom, different than yourego-wisdom, infiltrates your sense of self, as reader, as responder, as knower, and becomes a partner.The same is true of me as the writer. My greater self frequently intervenes. Intervening, as well, is thegreater self of everyone. As such, the writing fulfills its inevitable momentum in the hands and heart ofthe students who helped me create it. For me, the complete understanding, or at least the threshold tocomplete understanding, comes as I invite the writings of the students into the discourse, which I do,literally, as we progress. Their lived response to our shared journey declares a greater truth. Trueteaching and learning is collaborative. Each as an eye of god, we draw out from each other the unfoldingmystery that dwells as one truth in the truth of each self. When I consider myself as an ocean, thestudents are the beach upon which I find my reflection, in their many grains of sand. Simultaneously,they are the ocean, finding their way upon my beach, and together we ascend to wash upon the beachof the cosmic sands that span the universe, caressing heaven itself. At some point we find ourselveshere on earth, once more, translating into speech the sound of the surf. We discover the many textures,not of reflecting sand, but of the interwoven filaments of love that somehow express as us, caressing thesands of time.3

Chapter OneART OF ARCHETYPAL PSYCHOLOGYI begin with gratitude. This book explores a transformational use of mandalas that I call the MandalaProcess. The Mandala Process developed from over thirty years of teaching students in the ArchetypalPsychology Class at Southwestern College. Over the years, I have come to call this classroom The Studiobecause it is a sacred space for transformation. This book unfolds from the shared heart-space of TheStudio as a gift to the participants and to those who choose now to participate. Life is a sacred processthat I explore here as the Mandala of the Soul.To find truth, we must always begin with ourselves. We are our own compass. When we aresimply present, we can access the mystery of our origins. It is not outside. Deep within, we are the onewe have been searching for. Life has been given to us as experience. Life is an evolving journey throughperception. We are the center and our reality reflects back to us from the circumference. From thiscenter, we have three perspectives that always motivate us. Firstly, we speak, act and choose in waysthat maintain the status quo, that keep life unfolding in orderly and predictable ways. We make life fromour reflection, from the circumference. Secondly, we push past our limitations, strive for excellence,break molds and conventions, and seek the deep alluring transcendental sense of self. We make life bylooking beyond the mirror of the circumference. We may begin by wanting more and eventually want tobe more. In this progression, we awaken to a third nature, one that wants to integrate the external andinternal sources of self. We make life from our center. This has the effect of transforming our sense ofself into one that is centered in the eternal while we have a great time in the finite. Our deepest impulseto fulfill our nature is the beginning and the end of the circle that connects and integrates all of thecircles. Our life is a living mandala.Asleep or awake, we are in a constant movement of creating and resolving experience. We aretravelers in consciousness. Our personality is an artistic media for the journey of our soul. As succinctlystated by the Sufi master Hazray Inyat Kahn, “The personality is the greatest creative endeavor of thesoul.” We seek to know ourselves in all that we do. We build monuments to the great, noble and wise.We worship images of our deities. Celebrity even becomes a religion of its own. We seek outwardly inthis way and do not yet realize the powerful forces within us that drive us. As we grow, we realize thatthe outer greats remind us of our inner greatness. First we strive to solidify our sense of self by externalaccomplishments. At some point we reflect; we experience a call inward. We realize a deeper process inwhich we increasingly base our sense of self on our soul. Fulfillment comes in the internal realizationthat occurs as a response to outer reflection. Kahn’s statement redirects us to a greater self thatdiscovers through creating human identity. The ego is a creation through which we learn, discover,realize and fulfill. In this creative process the ego is a replicate of the archetype of self. I refer to thisarchetype as the cosmic person, primal self, or kadmon. In this context, I see it as the primal selfactualizing through the Mandala of the Soul. Through our creative process, we actualize the cosmicarchetype and in this way realize a deeper urge to know and fulfill our divine nature as love. Love is the4

wholeness of self that we will continue to pursue, as destiny in the form of fulfillment in this world, andtranscendence in the form of returning home to our source.Mandala is an ancient Sanskrit word meaning circle. As a symbol, the circle has always been away to connect us to the wholeness of life. It seems to be a natural form that we, as the many peoplesof the world in many times and places, have used to connect to each other, nature, cycles of life,movements of planets and the journey of our lives. In that sense, we can say it is archetypal. Throughour creative relationship to the mandala and the process of making it, we become intimately involvedwith the unifying field of life in a way that is specific to the imaging and symbolization of that mandala.Mandalas appear throughout the world as a means of achieving wholeness, through awakeningto and understanding one’s psychological and spiritual self. In ancient times, in all cultures, mandalaforms appear as circles containing life, soul, sun and moon, seasons, cells—all is round. Life is a matrix ofconnecting circles. With the circle is the companion square, representing the structure of life, the matrixof creation, matter, earth, form—all is action and movement. The mandala is a way of organizing ourpower, whether to connect with transcendence, integrate self, create a business plan, or attract goodFeng Shui. The mandala is our bagwa of self.We discover Archetypal Psychology through the rigorous application of our imagination. Theuniverse responds to what we focus on. Life matches who we think we are. When we have a fixedconcept of what is Archetypal Psychology, our awareness drops into our mind, excludes intuitive orsuper mind, and we proceed to project mental concepts onto the deeper archetypal realms,constraining our unconscious potentials to formats that fit our minds. So, first we can embrace ourfavorite archetypes, such as hero, wanderer, warrior, anima, animus, Sagittarius, Taurus and so forth.We can then look beyond, into the dark void that will soon turn to light with our persistent focus,showing us the deeper order of life as we persevere and deconstruct limiting preconceptions. Webecome teachable.In the Mandala Process, making art is a conduit for our creativity. Creativity is the energythrough which the soul structures consciousness and transforms the personality. In the activity ofmaking art, archetypal intelligence collaborates with us to create a reflection of our wholeness in themandala. Our intentional actions structure reality through a relationship of essence and form. Artmakingprovides our vehicle for movement. At the deepest archetypal level, we take our formation fromKadmon, the primal person, the cosmic pattern for the actualization and fulfillment of self. This is allunconscious at first. We are about making the unconscious conscious in service to transformation.When we act on intention, we select from all reality and all possible realties the specific complementaryreality that we need to help us transform or fulfill. We use two themes in the Mandala Process:character and destiny. As information, nested in the cosmic person, character is the strengths, virtues,talents and qualities that we bring with us at birth. Destiny is our curriculum, or the plan of ourfulfillment, including areas of consciousness that we want to resolve, experience, or complete.When we pursue the intentional themes of the destiny and character mandalas through makingart, we are operating in a flow of energy that will surface and transform all the misinformation thatinfluences and shapes the structure of self and coalescences our self integrity. Intention itself is aprotocol, or process, archetype that patterns creation and transformation. The intention I speak of ismore than what you believe you plan to do. It is a deeper focus that sets a selective motivation that5

attracts from the life those events, information and processes that fulfill or actualize that intention.Throughout the healing adventure of making these two mandalas, we learn many transformative skillsand gain a deep appreciation and understanding of the way archetypes live through our daily lives. Insome ways, reading this book and participating in the exercises will offer the experience of life as anexpression of archetypal curriculum. It is a microcosm of life as curriculum.The mandalas are a revelation of mystery coded within our own nature. We learn to be sensitiveto the way symbols and energy constitute our psyche and promote health or disease. As we develop skillwith symbols and creative energy, we develop a means by which we can explore the unconscious mindand illuminate the seeming darkness, transforming our shadow nature and revealing our luminousnature. By engaging in this process in the group setting, we learn to be sensitive, loving and artistic inour ways of helping others. We begin by discovering the many ways we have symbolically organized ourpower and our expression of love. As we become familiar with our own mystery, we are able totransform the structure of our personality and the matrix of our living into a powerful agent of our soul.When we access the realm of archetypes, we are entering the consciousness from which we“create” our reality. As an ego, creating our reality makes no sense. The ego believes it is self-made andsomewhat superior. We are responsible creators. We are spirit-made: co-creators that discover who weare and learn to be responsible. Making something of ourselves is a variation on Khan’s impression ofthe personality as an art project. It is something to be proud of but we must be cautious not to take ittoo personally. When we identify with the things we make, we lose sight of the creator who made them.Changing the foundation of our lives requires direct experiential participation in our wholeness. As ego,we live in a dualistic realm that is made of contrast and adversity. We must learn to choose based on ourassessments of life. Our traditional approach is to fix or make things happen. In terms of transformation,we are limited by our agendas, whether for ourselves or for feeling better about ourselves throughhelping someone else. In the archetypal, quantum world, cause and effect occur at the same time.Formations in our psyche that are in opposition find resolution in the archetypal realm. In this way,duality serves the purpose of unity, in contrast to the traditional application, which is to fix conflictthrough the manipulation of others and resources. This means that to resolve issues from duality, weshift our consciousness to unity. In this way, we change the reality in which a problem exists, in contrastto trying to solve the problem. Solving the problem reinforces duality. In the Mandala Process, weinitiate protocols that transform the dualistic issue through accessing the unified whole. There is nothingwrong with solving problems; it is a matter of approach.Making art is our vehicle. Creating the character and destiny mandalas provide organization.The organization provided by this activity is more than the logistics of making visual art. Working ingroups serves to amplify the degree and variety of our learning experience. Reflecting together on therevelation of our art is very powerful and healing. Within this context, we grow to understand thearchetypal world that is the foundation of our personality, and the archetypal matrix that is the patternof creation. The intent of making the mandalas organizes the subconscious and unconscious areas ofour inner consciousness by providing specific guidelines and content for the material that is necessaryand needed. The intelligence that permeates the activity, as an emissary of all that is, matches theorganizational request and manages delivery of supportive and specific energies, information andactions. The Mandala Process is a journey that begins in the place-to-which-we-have-become-6

accustomed and ends in the place-we-truly-are. We begin with our accustomed configuration ofsymbols and energy and embark on a journey with the sole (soul) intent of transforming the relationshipof those symbols and energy into the most powerful configuration possible.Archetypal Psychology as an academic domain began with Carl Jung. Using Eastern philosophyas a backdrop, he recognized the importance of the emergence of mandala images in the process ofindividuation. The mandala has wide application in art therapy, counseling, cross-cultural understandingand spiritual development. The process of creating mandalas explores the application of archetypalimagery as a means to intentionally access the unconscious, driving greater actualization andtransformation. Metaphor and symbols are seen as keys to understanding the healing power ofcreativity and imaginal expression. Symbols enable us to consciously adjust the constructing informationthat shapes personality, perception and reality. The ancient wisdom of sacred geometry and the modernimplications of quantum physics find congruency in the understanding and application of archetypalexperience.In order to understand life from an archetypal perspective - for this is the realm of the mandala -we must enter its reality. This may be difficult at first, because the archetypal encompasses the physicalform, where time is omnipresent rather than linear. In the parlance of quantum physics: no cause islocal. Causality occurs through synchronicity. Synchronicity is the transfer of a causal action from thenon-locality, non-linear time, in a meaningful way, at just the right time. That is to say that cause comesfrom an inner dimensional energy field, called the implicate order. Life unfolds from an implicate reality.We, as attractor beings, organize and accrete our reality from chaos through perception and select fromall possibilities by choosing.As we proceed, you will be invited to consider various concepts, premises, processes andexercises that may at first seem unrelated. The best way to proceed is by trusting yourself and yourability to know. When we are present, life effectively moves through and around us in a loving,supportive and effective way. It will create a conversation with the implicit intelligence of the universe.We live in a vast field of unconditional love that “wants” you to understand all things. We have aproblem with this because we tend to ask questions that are prejudiced to support our smallness. Wewant answers that are conditioned to complement our preconceptions.Archetypes provide the relational guides from which life pattern and form unfold; they are thecodes of life. Archetypes exist within an informational field that the ancients called Akasha and quantumphysics called quantum coherency, unified field or implicate order. The quantum field informs thearchetypes from a deeper order of sound and formless consciousness. The deeper field is formlessbecause it is everything at once; from this field comes the primal intentionality, the nous, the logos, thefirst emanation from the formless, the breath that gives life to all creations. We can discern the formlessas pure soul.The information sets, that we call archetypes, exist in the morphogenetic field. Archetypes arereality forming and we modify our relationships to these archetypes through our formation of meaning.From this perspective, all physical form is embedded in an energy matrix that is the archetype of thatform. Imagine that your body unfolds from an expanded matrix of energy relationships many times yourphysical size that is encoded from a relationship of who you are, what the universe is and the nature ofthis physical dimension. We can encode, or re-code, these archetypes through symbolic protocols that7

include engaging the program we want to change, and setting intentions through our affinity to thewhole. Transcending time-bound experience, the archetypal realm is formative and causal, to the formand experience that occurs in time. We are the local event of a transcendental cosmic drama. As weexplore the Mandala Process, we become conscious participants in the archetypal reality and thus moreable to effect change in our lives.Carl JungIn my first psychology class, we were discussing the nature of consciousness and the models thatallegedly explained the human constitution and personality. On one occasion, we were exploring theteachings of Carl Jung. In our discussion of Jung, our teacher said that archetypes formed the ground ofour being, as well as the deep forces that informed our lives from the unconscious mind. So we asked,“Where is the unconscious mind?” The obvious answer is that we don’t know, because we are notconscious of it. Yet we can sense it, and on occasion we fish images from its depth and infer its existencebecause of the awful and wonderful stuff that surfaces into our conscious mind or appears in ourcreative pursuits. This was a concern because as effective as we were with conscious daily life,apparently the unconscious was out promoting all sorts of mischief. Most of our selves, all the unknownpower and tortured remnants of past trauma, ancestral beliefs, and the secrets of the universe were,evidently, all swimming around in the deep sea of self, seemingly forming our lives without ourpermission. That was the story.Our teacher explained that the therapeutic process occurs as unconscious becomes consciousand that all effective therapies follow this protocol. Much of our motivation comes from striving to fulfillour unconscious nature as a self-revelatory process. Whatever is incomplete or unresolved within us willfind a way to the surface. It occurred to me, at that point, that when I would make art--drawing was afavorite activity from early on--my mood would change. When I was anxious, art resolved that. Evenwhen I was supposedly drawing real objects, something in the tone, line or image produced insight.Once I was painting a picture as a Christmas gift for my uncle’s family. It was a collection of various typesof primates. It was evident in the final piece that the picture insightfully portrayed the character of eachperson and their relationship to each other. Other times, deep spiritual realizations would occur in themidst of making a painting. I had my access to the unconscious, I thought. Not only did the imagesreflect archetypal forces; the process itself was archetypal.I began to see that I lived in the center of my life and that my life was a mirror. The seeminglyseparate distinction of events and people enabled me to manage my affairs in terms of their Newtonianappearance. Real things happened that had consequences. I began to see, as well, an overlay ofmeaning. Life as metaphor reflected back to me the projections of my undiscovered self. Life also beganto reveal a quantum appearance. The wily ways of perception became more revealed. I was seeing lifethrough the lens of my own psychology. Did this also mean that I was unconsciously colluding with theuniverse to arrange the events that I needed for the trajectory of my own evolution? Were events thatappeared unfair or damaging to me or others playing a conspiratorial role in my awakening to self, andtherefore potentially serving a “good thing?” I began to realize that in the same way that I was an artist8

on canvas, I was also an artist on the canvas of life. I wanted to know in what mysterious way thatoccurred.For a period of time, Carl Jung began each day drawing a mandala. First, he drew a circle anddivided it into four quadrants with a cross. He initiated a conversation with his unconscious. Hisunconscious spoke symbols. As he continued each morning, the conversation emerged. Each day’sdrawing reflected on the previous day. Each new drawing seemed to string a conversation with the last.I sketched every morning in a notebook a small circular drawing, a mandala, which seemed tocorrespond to my inner situation at the time. With the help of these drawings I could observe mypsychic transformations from day to day. ...Only gradually did I discover what the mandala reallyis: ‘Formation, transformation, Eternal Mind’s eternal recreation’ (Faust, II). And that is the self,the wholeness of the personality, which if all goes well is harmonious, but which cannot tolerateself-deceptions. My mandalas were cryptograms…in which I saw the self-that-is, my whole being– actively at work. ...The self, I thought, was like the monad, that corresponds to the microcosmicnature of the psyche. …I attained what was for me the ultimate. (Jung, 1963; 195-196)Jung’s perspective gave meaning to my own growing awareness. An atmospheric sense had begun toarise within me and seemingly enshroud me, and grew stronger with attentiveness and practice. Jungbecame aware, as did I, that life was guided by one intent, that of individuation. That the more distinctlywe became truly ourselves, we became all. Not in an ego sense, but in a sense that we becomeconscious that we are an individual experience of that which is all.[The object of the mandala] ...is the self in contradistinction to the ego, which is only the point ofreference for consciousness, whereas the self comprises the totality of the psyche altogether.... Itis at the same time an image of God and is designated as such. This is not a matter of chance forIndian Philosophy, which developed the idea of self, Atman, Purusha, to the highest degree, andmakes no distinction in principle between the human essence and the divine. Correspondingly, inWestern mandala, the scintilla or soul-spark, the innermost divine essence of man, ischaracterized by symbols which can just as well express a God-image, namely the image of Deityunfolding in the world, in nature, and in man. (Jung, 1972; 5)My introduction to Jung provided an academic context for what I consider to be directexperiences of the archetypal realm. Experiences that, along with making art, reinforced to me thatexploration of the unconscious levels need not be abstract or done through mental extrapolations. Idetermined that we are quite capable of direct experience of these realms beyond our conscious mind,perhaps by extending our conscious mind. My experience is one of traveling into the realm consciously,as one would walk the earth. Archetypal Psychology is open to us as experiential learning. All we need todo is open our senses to the multidimensional field of the archetypes, then process that experiencethrough art-making.9

At some point we each experience “the call.” Our higher self moves in a way that makes usaware that we are more. That experience occurred young for me. In the following, I explore a morespecific “call” that invited me into my archetypal reality.The CallIt was a warm summer night. I was fifteen years old. I stared up into the night sky, trying to see angels; Ibelieve I conjured a few. However, this began a process. This was generally my way. I would experienceand experiment. What I call a seed practice, or event, would later evolve into or precipitate anunderstanding, wisdom or spiritual skill, often with a corresponding academic pursuit. In this case thefocus and intent was a basic spiritual practice that eventually opened a nexus to expanded states ofconsciousness. Seek and you will find/knock and the door will open/when the time is right the teacherwill appear is a classic archetype. Throughout the ages, we felt the call and we responded by looking toouter representations like icons, statues, trees, flowers, mountains and the stars and reflective points ofattentions for transcendence. Eventually, we turned inward to points of light, or created harmonicimagery that transferred our awareness to internal realities. Increasingly, our direction opened inwardly,awakening our senses in our unconscious archetypal realms. That warm summer night was, to me, anarchetypal moment that continues even now to deepen my sense of self and reality. The archetypal andspiritual worlds are fluid and morph consistent with our depth of alignment. The measure is always howfar you are ready, able and willing to go. In our teens we have a natural call to spirituality that JosephChilton Pearce believed was a developmental imperative. In our teens we want to test eternity. Whenhealthy, we find a greater kinship and connectedness with all that is. When unhealthy, we take fatalrisks or injure others, sometimes fatally, to find initiation into something greater.I was in a sensory deprivation experience when I was nineteen. Interesting word: deprivation. Inthis archetypal world view, deprivation is synonymous with deconstruction, similar to fasting orabstaining. In such activity, we challenge the conditioned continuity of the status quo. I was in a bodytemperature cubicle for three days, pitch black and insulated from outside sounds. Three days in silentvelvet darkness, with a bed, not much space and Metracal to live on. Metracal was a ‘60’s nutritious dietdrink in a small can. After about a day and a half, wondrous illuminations began to permeate the space Iwas in. I had out-of-body experiences in which I flew over the Southern California landscape and circledmy neighborhood. I can still recall the oak-clustered brown hills and the aerial view of my house. I alsofound myself on at least two other dimensions, in which everything radiated its own light source.Geometric forms floated in space radiating light. The colors were incredible and far more brilliant andbeautiful than the physical colors that we see as reflected light. The distinction of reflected and sourcelight intrigued me. I was easily reminded of reading of such realities in the Bible in which light emanatedfrom forms and beings in the heavenly worlds. There was another realm that took the form of anaqueous environment of glowing plants and creatures that glided through the space as a fish would inwater. Again each thing, each creature, had its own light radiating from an inner source through itscomplete form; they were glowing. I was not dreaming. I was awake in an archetypal realm, an innerdimension of self with its corresponding environment. Later, in my academic world, I called the process10

experiential archetypal psychology, in contrast to the conventional abstract archetypal psychology. Theexperience seemed to include my physical body. The physical body awareness enables us to beconscious of the multidimensional array of experience that is occurring on all levels, while, at the sametime, being firmly planted on earth. The ability to do this provides a practical spirituality that has manyapplications in the doing world, including teaching, counseling and being a good citizen or parent. It isalso an important support for change. When the body experiences, it forms a reference for that kind ofunderstanding, so that when you consider future beliefs or concepts related to that experience, thebody has a reference and allows any change or transformation based on that experience. When thebody does not have a reference, it will either block or test because it has no reference. In this case,when I arrived in my first psychology class, I had a direct, conscious experience of ArchetypalPsychology. I had had a conscious sortie into what was being called the unconscious mind. This radicallyshaped my approach to Archetypal Psychology in that it added the dimension of direct engagedexperience with an actual reality.Another great influence was art-making. I grew up with making art as a favorite activity. Before Iknew there was an academic pursuit of Art Therapy, like the rest of humanity for thousands of years, Idiscovered that when I was up-tight, making art transformed my emotional state and often would yielddeeper insights about the relevant situations and circumstances. My first experiences with art therapypreceded the sensory deprivation and corresponded with my attempting to see angels. So, there is asequence developing: intuitive flashes about the Bible, art therapy, seed meditation, and sensorydeprivation. These formed my developing foundation of Archetypal Psychology. This was good, becausewhen I pursued academia it was like getting a new wardrobe, rather than my sense of self having toconform to academia. Consequently, I graduated from college, not as an academically-formed self, butrather as a somewhat enlightened person with some cool tools and a good grasp of the social order.After the sensory deprivation, I changed my focus. I gazed inward into the void in contrast togazing outward into the void posing as something. Evidently the inward coagulation of archetypalthreads had opened passages into self and the outer complementing dimensions. As I focused inwardinto the darkness, symbols began to emerge. First, crosses, as my Biblical history unpacked anddeepened into less time-bound collaborations of Christ, Jesus and human evolution. In the next episode,tree symbolizations arose as a fearful basic self, under the protective therapeutic guidance of my highselfconsidering the forces of light and dark. My next sortie resulted in images of my exodus, alaImmanuel Veliovsky, emerging as my own archetypal journey to the Promised Land. Then came a cosmicburst of light that was the experience of my life awakening on the continuum of eternity. Thesemeditations and drawings were the prototype for what I now call the Mandala Process.At that point my inner gazing went black again. I focused into the center of my head because Ihad read that that was a good way to learn to meditate for real. What had I been doing? Nevertheless,my inside focus went dark. For several months, I would sit down to meditate and soon fall asleep.Eventually, however, a light came on. The light grew brighter. I returned to making art. This time Ifocused on a person and did an archetypal drawing from that focus. This exercise opened my faculties tosee into patterns, an ability that continues to grow and be of profound service. I was learning from this,and later with noetic balancing (see Eyes Made of Soul), to see individuals in a deep way, tracking withthem their inner journey and the resolutions, fulfillments, truths, and transformations that were11

congruent for them. The foundation of changing consciousness in contrast to fixing problems began withthis activity. The archetypal approach is one of changing consciousness. How are we right? What do weneed to add to get to where we want to go? How do we add what we need? It is much like cooking; doesthe soup need more sage or salt? Do we need to seal off a passage or add one?When I traveled with Dr. Neva Dell Hunter, she would go into trance and give past life readings. Iwas allowed to sit in on these sessions, and from that gained a deep sense of how our past livesinfluence this one. The convention of these readings was to focus on five or six past lives that hadrelevant meaning and application for this life. The past lives were shown to relate to the variouschallenges and opportunities appearing in the current life. The sessions I do now also include past livessometimes. From my perspective, past lives present in our field of consciousness as archetypes. Theaffect on the client of hearing or seeing the past life is immediate. Our witness, as a spiritual alignmentof the archetypal, results in our awareness clearing or resolving the related patterns, and shifts thereality. If we were to focus on analysis of the past life, or debate whether it was even real, the patternwould lock into the mental, becoming a mind process and generating a false sense of knowing. This inturn would replicate, perhaps even be exciting, but transformation would not occur. In the archetypallevel, the intelligence process is different than that of the intellectual mind. It is like a super mind thatworks in patterns and gestalts. In other words, awareness brings resolution. That is intelligent.The past lives are archetypes and, as such, they are not time-bound. From an archetypalperspective, we can look at past lives in terms of a variety of models. We can look at them as imagesfrom the collective - that this life is a composite of a collective working-out of issues, and that our issuesmatch those of the collective, or that our issues are collective resolution. It is not necessary to believe inreincarnation, although it does seem that having a prior existence to this one is an archetypal themethroughout humanity, whether as an expression of an eternal soul or the soul of eternity. We appear tobe living a deep fulfillment from a primal impulse formulated by archetypal design. From myperspective, all the cosmologies are true. I have a rule of thumb for the archetypal and spiritualapproach: If you find yourself saying is it this or that, say both. Life is a circle, a mandala. We are in themiddle and the circumference of life reflects back to us all that we are. Our physical body has thecapacity to register and engage the full spectrum of life and spirit. The ancients used mandalas toconnect the relationship of oneself to the whole, to the cosmos, to God, to all that is.When the body definition is based solely on life in the physical world, we make sense andpursue agendas based on that duality. This is fine, and we incorporate these dynamics and states ofconsciousness in our evolutionary expansion. As we develop, old and new archetypes and perceptions ofarchetypes are included, never excluded. When two seemingly oppositional archetypes are included in alarger context, they transform and reconfigure to the larger formation, which ultimately becomes apresent essence of all that is. This essence is universally unconditional living love, as the ultimatetransformer. This love is not an archetype, yet its existence is archetypal. In quantum terms, coherencyinforms all archetypes. Love is coherency.Our nature is to unfold an ever-expanding and deepening awareness and understanding of selfwithin this relationship of center to circumference. When we make a mandala, we do so as a reflectionof this relationship of center to circumference. We can find center in the vertical central channel of ourphysical body. We are aware of our physical body in the middle of the circumference of life; however,12

the center itself is a dimensional gate into all that is. From center, we are aware as soul. We are awareof the matrix of life. We are aware that we exist as a primal archetype, standing on earth as a bridgebetween heaven and earth. We are aware that our center is a passage into the heart of the earth. Weare aware that our center is a passage into the transcendental realities and into the source of all, theheart of God. This is the Mandala of the Soul. Making this mandala is the Mandala Process. The doing ofit, the experience of it, is the transformation and actualization of Self. The doing of it is the a prioripurpose for which we live, love and have our being.We begin with ourselves. As we continue, students of this process will join in, as we enter whatI call The Studio. Consider that as you read, you will join a cohort of readers. How do you do this? Thereis the book and there is the morphic field of the book. The morphic field is the living energy of which thebook is a reflection. The morphic field is the living archetype of the book. As you read, your reflectionsand responses add to the information enfolded in this field. Each reader does the same. Each newreader will benefit from all those that read before. As a text book for my Archetypal Psychology class,the journey of the class entangles with the same morphic field, and the consciousness evolves. As muchas grasping the written word, attend to what arises within you as you read. Your access is the key.AkashaAs my senses open to multidimensional awareness, I also experience a greater sense of presence in myphysical body. By that, I mean that my physical body registers movement and impressions from andwithin the matrix of self that surrounds and interpenetrates my body. The more present I am, theclearer and more accurately interpreted are these impressions. I sense through my body and translatethat information into imagery and symbols. Imagination creates a playground for conversation. Jung’sdescription of his mandala experience became alive and vibratory to me as a description of beingpresent in my existence. Suffice it to say here, the self as a microcosm of the Universe became real forme. We are multidimensional; I experienced myself as the mandala of the Soul.We live in exciting times. While I was discovering Jung and Energy Medicine, and realizing thatthrough the awareness of my body, mind and spirit I could read the contours of my own existence, as amatrix of energy, as readily as reading a book, modern physics was taking a turn into discovering aunified theory of everything. Quantum coherency is a field that at the subtlest level of creation exists asan informational field, accumulating the experience of eons of creation and providing the guidingintelligence that forms our apparent physical reality. Ervin Laszlo contends that this field is what theancients called Akasha. (Laszlo)There is an explanation for the phenomena that puzzle today’s front-line investigators; we canunderstand what processes underlay the nonlocal coherence of the human body, of all life, of thequantum, and of the entire universe. It is the presence of in-formation throughout the cosmos,carried and conveyed by the universal in-formation field we have named the Akashic field. Theaction of … the A-field explains the nonlocality of the smallest measurable units of the universeas well as of its largest observable structures. It explains the coherence of living organisms, and13

their coherence with the milieu in which they live and evolve. It also explains the coherence ofthe human brain, and of the consciousness associated with it, in regard to the brain andconsciousness of other human beings, and even the world at large. And, last but not least, itexplains the astounding fact that the physical parameters of the universe are so finely adjustedthat living organisms can exist and evolve on this planet, and possibly on countless other planetsin this and in other galaxies. …The A-field in-formation is the logical explanation of nonlocalcoherence: of the mysterious way in which quanta are connected across space and time, of theevident but nonetheless astounding fact that we and other organisms have evolved and can liveon this planet and, last but not least, of the seemingly miraculous capacity of the universe tobring forth human beings such as you and I, who now ask themselves why this universe is so welltuned that in all essential respects it is both instantly and universally interconnected. (Lazlor,156-157)The ancients gained the understanding of the Akasha through the capacity to know directly,through their own consciousness. Quantum theory evolved through mathematics and experiments thatlooked into the realms of the largest and smallest realities, which Newtonian physics could not explain.David Bohm explains that what appear as distinct objects in the physical world unfold from atranspersonal, non-local coherent field –the implicate unified order that shapes what is apparent.Results in the physical world are manifest from the non-local causality of the transpersonal, unified field,called quantum coherency in physics, and Akasha by the ancients. In quantum terms, then, symbols andimages are our way of entangling ourselves with the quantum coherency of the whole in a way thatenables us to change the information that guides and forms our reality, and the manifestation of thatreality within the whole. All is alive and it is through our imagination, our ability to make symbols, andsense the underlying field of consciousness that organizes reality that we become consciously cocreativeof the reality in which we live.Edgar CayceViolet Shelly wrote a booklet, “Symbol and Self,” based on a series of readings given by Edgar Cayce.Cayce is known as the “sleeping prophet.” He entered a state of consciousness that freed his high self tospeak directly, bypassing ego and personality concerns. The focus of Shelly’s research into the readingswas called the “Life Seal” and the “Aura Chart.” These symbolic pictures reflected two aspects ofconsciousness. The Life Seal reflected the character of the individual and those virtues available to fulfillthe current life expression. The Aura Chart was a symbolic picture of the past lives that contributed tothe traits that the individual was expressing in this lifetime. I saw a similarity between the past lives andthe metaphor of current life events. Situations and circumstances in this life activated the karma orpotential from the past life. From that, I concluded that the present life metaphor was just as, or more,helpful than the past life stories. It also said to me that the Aura Chart, since Cayce called it that,potentially had to do with current life challenges.14

I discovered that I could apply the principles of these two pictures to the therapeutic andtransformational activity of the Mandala Process. The Life Seal is similar to Pythagoras’ use of the “seal”that reflected the nature of the soul. There is also an interaction between the types of pictures. FromJung’s work, it is evident that the symbols have real interaction with the structure and process of theunconscious. Integrate and balance the symbols, and you integrate and balance the psyche.Shelly said that there are three types of symbols: intentional, accidental, and universal.Intentional symbols are ones that we create consciously, for our own purposes. For example, atriangular traffic sign means “yield” or a red light means “stop.” Accidental symbols are formed out ofrandom associations. In a sense, they are formed superstitiously or synchronistically. For example, asurviving scrap of your baby blanket could symbolize nurture. We may use a palm frond intentionally tomean “Palm Sunday;” however, in the original event, people may have just wanted some shade.Universal symbols reflect archetypal structures and protocols that are inherent to all creation – a group,all of humanity, or all sentient life forms in the universe. The Star of David appears to be universal. Thisis perhaps why David used it. The regular, symmetrical solids of Pythagoras are universal. These symbolsoften appear as patterns upon which images of a more personalized meaning are encrypted. Thus, Jungused the circle and cross.As my approach developed, I had students form intentions to make the two mandalas. Asdiscussed earlier, these mandalas could be two distinct or one integrated product. One would reflect thecharacter, Cayce’s Life Seal, and the other, destiny (curriculum), Cayce’s Aura Chart. From intention tocompleted form, many exercises and projects were pursued that drew out the inner symbols. Thesesymbols evolved along two themes, which became apparent. One revealed character and the otherdestiny.The character mandala reflects the gifts, strengths, talents, and power that are ours from birth.The process of making this mandala heals the wounds and transforms the limiting beliefs that keep usfrom standing in our power and expressing our lives in a truthful and effective way. Completing thecharacter mandala balances our psychic field and aligns us with self.We are born with the virtue and strengths that will serve us best to fulfill our lives. Courage,sensitivity, and decency are examples of virtues. Intuition, intelligence, and common sense arestrengths. I discovered that people know their virtues and strengths, but often configure them toprotect their beliefs about their traumas, self-worth, power or lovability. The contrast, of course, is tosymbolically configure our virtue in the most powerful relationship possible. Even our shortcomings maybe strengths in a given context.The complement to the character mandala is the destiny or curriculum mandala. Destiny, in thissense, is our life purpose, which in various ways boils down to what we came here to learn, resolve,develop or fulfill. Since we generally fulfill this purpose through a series of learning events that form thestepping stones, positive or negative, that lead to fulfilling these purposes, I also call this a curriculummandala. Our lives have inherent meaning and purpose. The actualization of this purpose is our soul’sjourney. The experience of creating this mandala clarifies, illuminates, and empowers our journey in life.Completing the destiny mandala aligns the energy field with our purpose.15

Mandala ProcessThe story of our lives reflects themes that portray our karmic interest in resolving our trials andtribulations, fulfilling our successes, and exploring new terrains of understanding. These themes reflectour destiny. The soul has objectives of transformation and fulfillment. These two are different in thesense that transformation leads with karma, unresolved issues, limiting or destructive consequences,and beliefs, causing internal division, or conflict, with our divine nature or holiness. Intentionality, plustrauma, plus choice, plus constructed beliefs, equals limitation or distorted perception. The issue,consternation, and problematic situations reflect a theme. These themes are agendas fortransformation. The intended soul outcome is symbolically embedded, as metaphor and symbol, in theimages of the artwork.On the other hand, fulfillment leads with themes of life-long learning, reflected in each learningevent. Themes for life-long learning reflect in each learning event. These themes are like threads thatstring together the developmental events of our life. The themes are goals of fulfillment, or new thingswe want to do, achieve or experience. Terms like karma and dharma are popular these days. We look atour karma like we are doing penance for bad deeds. Karma is actually opportunity. Our opportunitiesdiscover, resolve, and elaborate our deepest interest. Karma is basically being stuck in our belief aboutwhat we did or what happened to us. Dharma is more like life fulfilling a service. Karmic and dharmicthemes hold us to physical life. For example, Jesus’ dharma was to bring salvation. Buddha’s dharmawas to bring enlightenment. Mother Theresa’s was to bring comfort to the forgotten suffering, wherenone had been present. So with the mandala, we explore both karmic and dharmic themes. The processof doing so heals, transforms, and empowers fulfillment. We are ultimately here to discover and fulfillour deepest nature. That is our a-priori intention.As I developed the Mandala Process from my use of art, exploration of Energy Medicine,spiritual realization and comparison to quantum physics, I realized that the historical use of mandalaswas a form of spiritual physics. Our unconscious mind was an expression of Akasha. Mandalas hadenabled us to bridge realities - the reality where life appears discrete, and the reality in which life isunified. Mandalas reflect human individuals as beings that bridge heaven and earth, and thus, as theancients also practiced, are able to mediate and transform the situations and circumstances of theirlives. In the Mandala Process, our art-making enables us to enter the A-field and directly edit the codesthat inform reality. The Mandala Process is such an effective transformer because it integrates theintentionality of our soul’s purpose, the dynamic archetype of the cosmic person, the historical use ofmandalas, the urge of all our unresolved issues wanting to be made whole, the revelation of living as areflection of our emerging consciousness (life as mirror), the unity field that enables the information ofthe Akasha (quantum coherence) to configure life events and structures. This integration occurs throughskillful means, by awakening our energetic sensitivity and making art.Much of my continued discovery and evolution of the Mandala Process came through teaching.With the forgoing thoughts as a backdrop, we can unpack the various elements through application. Weneed to embody the wisdom as a living experience in order to make applications to personal, group oreducational transformation. We join teacher and student as distinct perspectives of the same coherent16

field. In terms of the practice of the Mandala Process, I call this coherent field The Studio. The Studio is acontextual morphic field in which the cohort can unfold self through art in all its dimensional shapes andagendas. First we must open our awareness to the field perspective of self and learn to use our bodiesas a living expression of our wholeness. The key to this is the growing realization of our essence as livinglove and that the a priori intentionality that forms our deep urge to discovery and transformation is theimperative that our essence is one with the universal and is distinctly aware as an individual.17

Chapter TwoPOWER OF LIMITSFor the ancients, sacred geometry formed the information system of Akasha. The quantum informationis a language of light and sound formation of intricate geometries. We experience these codes assymbols and images. The proportions and angular relationships form the structural coding, orparameters, that prescribes or limit. This is not a limitation; rather a physics for dimensional interplay,formation and transformation. These proportions and angulations are active perceptual resonance thatformulates our relationship and interpretations.The power of limits is the limitless power of creation. Renowned physicist David Bohm assertsthat everything is limited by the movement of the whole. Within that movement, everything stays inrelationship through proportions. Proportions are information sets. Though seemingly oppositionaldualities, which pose to tear things apart or even act out as destruction and dissolution, the proportionsare contained in a higher order. In our deepest nature, we bridge all realities, so we facilitate makingand resolving conflict. For us, limits imprison or enable. The archetype of the cosmic person is themacrocosm of the microcosm of the individual person. Within each, the ratios are the same. As theseratios limit us within ourselves, they also expand us through their affinity with the form of creation itself.In this way we are the “made in the image and likeness.”The function of limits is to integrate, create, liberate, transform, or transcend. Without limitsthere would be no creation. We would not reflect on our challenges. We would not be on our journey ofdiscovery, and none of this would have happened. We would not have happened. Limits are atransformational agency of limitless creation. Because we can bridge the limited and limitless realitydirectly through experience, the archetypal realm becomes consciously available to us as a force of selfdiscovery and transformation. From the perspective of the limitless, the mirror of the archetypal realmis the first limitation from which process ensues. Through limitation, we are able to explore our life,develop new understanding and fulfill our dreams. We can have experience. When we move to ourcenter, our bodies register the wholeness of life.The use of art materials is an application of the power of limits. When we make art, we areactualizing inner drives to out-picture unconscious intentions, structures and codes. All of our thoughts,dreams, hopes, judgments, beliefs, curses and prayers that we have ever imaged, drop into ourunconscious and strive to be actualized. We are also susceptible to the actualizing needs of thecollective unconscious. At a deeper level, we are one with all that is and can access infinite resourcesand actualize the highest possibility of “God,” fulfilling itself as women and men.The art we make reflects back to the inner consciousness and a “conversation” ensues. Witheach iteration, the limitation deconstructs and the soul expression becomes more evident. This processis a metaphor for life. It is also a demonstration of limits actualizing the limitless. Just as limitation gripsthe mind to have small perceptions, imagination uses limits in a way that gives the mind liberatingimages upon which to take flight. Things only appear solid. The thing is a by-product of the behavior ofessence actualizing itself through the creative process of everyday living. Whether made of physical ormetaphysical substance, there is an intentional essence. The physical and metaphysical appearance is18

temporary. Its truth is found in a greater design. We see, then, that intention is a limit. The focus ofintention is a choice that selects, or limits, our reality to a stream of activity or a realm through which wetravel. To discover this, we use the transformational power of limits.In the commerce of unity, intention forms eternity into product. Our intentional action createssubsidiaries of unity and a fixed pattern of symbolic information differentiated from the whole. Weunfold or pull out of unity something discrete like an event, thing or self identity. Then, we deconstructthe discrete appearance, thus transforming it through sequential evolutions into something new. Weare the constant. The continuity of who we think we are, based on things or beliefs, betrays us. Truecontinuity is based on our essence, on the continuity of soul. When we draw an image on the paper, werecapitulate the creative behavior of the human spirit and its relationship to life.We actualize our life through the transformation of perception. As taught by Pythagoras, ofconcern to us are those limits that “give rise to the limitless.” Pythagoras taught what I call a geometryof physics. The mystery of this ancient teaching reflects in the concepts and principles of quantumphysics. The forms that we see unfold from a deeper energetic matrix are consistent with their codingand the way in which they are observed. The continuity we see is actually metaphysical, in that eachmoment unfolds anew based on the reflexive relationship of the limits, the morphogenetic field, and theobserver. This process occurs within a geometric framework of universal proportions that appear in thestructure of plants, the formation of organisms, the structure of minerals, music, and in the relationshipof planets and nebulae. In his book, The Power of Limits (1981), György Doczi wrote:The discipline inherent in the proportions and patterns of natural phenomena, and manifest inthe most ageless and harmonious works of man, are evidence of the relatedness of all things. Itis through the limits of discipline that we can glimpse and take part in the harmony of thecosmos – both in the physical world and in our way of life. (Doczi, 2)Conventional wisdom looks to archetypes as the wanderer, warrior, redeemer, prostitute,trickster, images of the arcana, religious cosmologies, Stations of the Cross, shamanistic guides, etc.,which are all in the pantheon of archetypes. These are nominative or content symbols. The geometry ofphysics, or sacred geometry, represents process or dynamic symbols. The latter are also structuralsymbols. Since these formations exist in the collective and universal unconscious, they appear abstract.We connect to archetypes symbolically through ritual actions, codified behaviors, and metaphor. Thesymbols are the visual appearance of the mathematical formulae of physics. My perspective is that wecan work with these energies experientially, consciously, and directly. To do this we must somehowlasso the wind. We can make the so-called abstract tangible through embracing art-making as a reflexivelink with the multi-dimensional reality in which we live, breathe, and have our being. We canunderstand because we are able to embrace all of the inner places in which we are alive. A studentwrites:We discussed the concept of the bridle. Lawlor explained that at ‘the archetypal level this imagecan be metaphysically and poetically expansive, it also finds its exact, geometrical representationin the angle’ (Lowler, p. 8). I imagined the perfect triangle created between the rider and the19

horse. As I thought about it, such a shape appeared everywhere in nature. It was a perfectbalance, and more importantly, a balance that was held by something or someone. As we spokeabout these things in class, however, I found my mind wandering into various places. I wonderedabout the new person I was dating, what work would be like that evening, how many bills werestill outstanding. I then judged myself for not being involved in the discussion and went back intothe merry-go-round I had judged myself for hopping onto in the first place. I must have shownthis in my facial expression, because I was immediately noticed and asked to report on where Iwas. In all honesty, and with much guilt and regret, I replied that I was not present.Something amazing happened then. I was asked to hold out my palms and contain bothrealities: the one that was present in class listening, and the other that was off fretting andworrying. This was a slightly new concept for me, for I had existed until that point in a world ofdichotomies. To my astonishment, I had energetically created a bridle, that sacred balancingtriangle. Worried previously that I was not present, I discovered that by doing this I was morepresent than I ever could have imagined being. My inner and outer world could peacefully coexist.This student was responding to Lowler’s discussion of the meaning of archetypes. The ancientstudy of sacred geometry and the modern study of quantum physics merge as we pursue a deeper graspand mastery of the Mandala Process. The ancients studied sacred geometry (the realm of archetypes) asa means of accessing and acting as co-creators. It was to this ancient wisdom that the student referred.In this regard, Lowler states:The implicit goal of this education was to enable the mind to become a channel through whichthe ‘earth’ (the level of manifested form) could receive the abstract, cosmic life of the heavens.The practice of geometry was an approach to the way in which the universe is ordered andsustained. Geometric diagrams can be contemplated as still moments revealing a continuous,timeless, universal action, generally hidden from our sensory perception. Thus, a seeminglycommon mathematical activity can become a discipline for intellectual and spiritual insight. (6)In this context, consider art-making as mathematical activity. We continue:To see how these operate, let us take an example of a tangible thing, such as the bridle of ahorse. This bridle can have a number of forms, materials, sizes, colors, uses, all of which arebridles. The bridle considered in this way, is typal: it is existing, diverse and variable. But onanother level there is the idea or form of the bridle, the guiding model of all bridles. This is an unmanifest,pure, formal idea, and its level is ectypal. But yet, above this there is the archetypallevel, which is that of the principle, or power-activity, that is a process which the ectypal formand typal example of the bridle only represent. The archetypal is concerned with universalprocesses or dynamic patterns which can be considered independently of any structure ormaterial form. Modern thought has difficult access to the concept of the archetypal becauseEuropean languages require that verbs of action words be associated with nouns. We therefore20

have no linguistic forms with which to image a process or activity that has no material carrier.Ancient cultures symbolized these pure, eternal processes as gods, that is, powers or lines ofaction through which Spirit is concretized into energy and matter. The bridle, then, relates toarchetypal activity through the function of leverage; the principal that energies are controlled,specified and modified through the effects of angulation. (7-8)The student wrote:I imagined the perfect triangle created between the rider and the horse. As I thought about it,such a shape appeared everywhere in nature. Metaphorically then, as we center in our soul’salignment and grasp the archetypal matrix with both hands, transformation can occur selectivelywith our intention. Intention selects the reality pattern, our focus (or touch) engages it, and ourco-creative relationship with the universal transforms it.Lowler continues:In the case of the bridle, this angulation or angular play is manifested in the relation of the bit tothe bridle strap, or between the bit and the bend of the horse’s neck and jaw, both controlled bythe angulation between the forearm and the biceps of the rider. From the level of the archetypeor active Idea, the principle of the bridle can be applied metaphorically to many regions ofhuman experience. (8)In the case of the student, this angular relationship of forearms to symbol, to the transformationof the psyche, became a direct experience of archetypal transformation.I had existed until that point in a world of dichotomies. To my astonishment I had energeticallycreated a bridle, that sacred balancing triangle. Worried previously that I was not present, Idiscovered that by doing this I was more present than I ever could have imagined being. Myinner and outer world could peacefully co-exist.Quantum PhysicsWhen we are touched by the beauty of the physical universe, it is because the patterns in natureresonate with proportions of our physical body and with our inward, metaphysical nature. By pursuingan understanding of sacred geometry, our behavior accretes a deeper connection to the matrix of ourperception. A spiritual substance develops, analogous to muscle building, which interfaces the physicaland metaphysical realities. We accelerate our perception to embrace the structure of creation and themultidimensional rhythms by which creation forms, transforms, enfolds, and unfolds. These geometriesare the technology by which the un-manifest universe unfolds into the manifest physical and21

metaphysical universe. When we make art, we recapitulate this unfolding process and when we reflecton what we have drawn, we recapitulate the enfolding dynamic.Physicist David Bohm says that reality is a moving wholeness of energy, holomovement as hecalls it, in which the physical universe unfolds from a deeper order of reality. The physical world, as weknow it, is contained in an implicately ordered reality, which is then contained in a deeper reality.Doczi’s geometric observations agree with Bohm’s quantum observations.This ... is not to be understood solely in terms of a regular arrangement of objects … or as aregular arrangement of events. Rather, a total order is contained, in some implicit sense, in eachregion of space and time. Now, the word ‘implicit’ is based on the verb ‘to implicate.’ This means‘to fold inward’ (as multiplication means ‘folding many times’). So we may be led to explore thenotion that in some sense each region contains a total structure ‘enfolded’ within it. (Bohm, 149)As we perceive a physical object, we can consider that a deeper function of our perception iscollaborating with the quantum process of the geometry of limits. Limits, in this case, include symbolsthat communicate the parameters of that embedded formulae into the universal matrix that is thetemplate governing the exact shape of the unfolding and enfolding form. It is from this dynamic actionthat we understand the quantum assertion that “no cause is local.” That is, the local event, or thing,appears to us because of the unfolding action of a deeper, contextual pattern in the morphogeneticfield. In this sense, our body implicates our being, and our being unfolds our body. The geometry we seein the physical world is consistent with the geometry of the causal reality from whence they came. Thecausal relationship is between the implicate and the explicate order. As the flower unfolds, it is theassertion of a deeper order of reality. As the drawing unfolds, it is an assertion of a deeper order ofreality.In Husserlian phenomenology, the deconstruction of the form reveals to us the deeper order ofessence that intended that form. Edmund Husserl, the father of phenomenology, called this relationshipbetween form (noema) and essence (noesis) the structure of reality. In the terms of the ancients: thephysical implicates the metaphysical. In Bohm’s model, noesis is the implicate (non-local) order andnoema is the explicate (local) order. Local is the form that is present dimensionally, now, in a givenphysical location. In terms of making art, the noema is the image on the paper. Then, we might ask,“Where did the paper come from in order to be the surface for the drawing?” We know that it likelycame from a tree. How did the tree arise? Perhaps it came from the intention that someday we wouldneed a paper to draw upon. Then, we consider that there is a deeper force moving both nature and usto come together one day in the drawing event. Permutations of the form may be physically “caused;”however, its existence is transcendentally “caused.” In sequential drawing, we see permutations of asingle causal intent. We have still pictures – a time-lapse imaging – of a single actualization. Bohmcontinues:‘All implicates all,’ even to the extent that ‘we ourselves’ are implicated together with ‘All thatwe see and think about.’ So we are present everywhere and at all times, though only implicately(that is, implicitly). It is only in certain special orders of description that such objects appear as22

explicate. The general law, i.e., holonomy, has to be expressed in all orders, in which all objectsand all times are ‘folded together.’(Bohm, 167)The greatest limitation is the whole, or all. Whatever action occurs, it must support the integrityof the whole. Therefore, conflict is confined to a dimension of reality that cannot take hold of the higherorders. Sand throwing stays in the sand box. However, the higher orders can resolve the conflict. If youblind your playmate you may find yourself alone in the sand box or banished from it by a higherauthority. The authority might also let the sand fight play itself out until the participants decide that it isnot so much fun and quit the behavior. From my perspective, it is through consciousness that weorganize and exercise our relationship to the greater consciousness in which we are contained. Theinterplay of the macro- and microcosms are continuous and spontaneous. The more present we are, themore spontaneous is the relationship.Each implicate level is a dynamic function within us. As we fold inward, we are contained in agrater reality of self. A subtler reality contains the more compact physical appearance. Ourconsciousness is a nested set of implicate realities that unfold causally into the next denser level. This isthe essence of the reflexive relationship of what we do and who we are. The implicated levels are:physical, imaginal, emotional, mental, archetypal, and spiritual. According to Husserlianphenomenology, we reveal the essence of form by deconstructing our perceptual hold on that form as itappears. By dissolving our perceptual sedimentation, our awareness enfolds to the implicate causalnature of the form. When we bracket (limit through intention) and deconstruct the beliefs and conceptsthat define that form as it appears, a shift occurs in our perception. The fact of its existence changes tothe truth of its expression. We can also focus in a way that our awareness transcends the limit by usingthe limit as a focus. Our consciousness has the ability to engage the quantum reality and realize lifebased on the physics of reality. We learn to use the forces of limitation and liberation to master life andunderstand reality. This is another example of the analogy of taking hold of the horse’s reins. When wemake a drawing, the unconscious information set becomes visible as a symbol. We see clearly. As areflexive response we then make a sequential drawing. This process is the same as the bracketingdeconstruction-noesisexperience in phenomenology reduction. (Phenomenology will be discussed indetail later in the chapter.)Through the protocol of reduction, we shift our scope of reality from the explicate (noema)order to the implicate order of noesis. This is not an abstraction. It is an experiential shift. It is our meansof knowing in the implicate or transcendental world. In the experience of sequential art-making,especially in the focus of making mandalas, deconstruction is implicate. It is integral to the process. Itbehooves us to then continually develop our ability to feel and register the sensations of experience inour physical bodies. In this way, we can measure and discern change as an increment of transformation.Perception is our lens of consciousness, whether we are looking into the spiritual or physicalworlds. Reality is a noetic field. Each form has a morphogenetic field, within the noetic matrix thatdelimits that form. That is, when I use the word noetic, I mean that very fabric of life that is intelligence.In its vast nature, it is at least spiritual mind, the nature of which changes as we transport our self intogreater and greater implicit realities. Bohm continues:23

We have seen that in the ‘quantum’ context, the order of every immediately perceptible aspectof the world is to be regarded as coming out of a more comprehensive implicate order, in whichall aspects ultimately merge in the indefinable and immeasurable holomovement…any form ofrelative autonomy (and heteronomy) is ultimately limited by holonomy, so that in a broadenough context such forms are seen to be merely aspects, relevated in the holomovement, ratherthan disjointed and separately existent things in interaction. (Bohm, 156-157)When we explore transformation through the Mandala Process, we are enabled to do sothrough the power of limits as an application of quantum physics, as an expression of Husserl’stranscendental phenomenology, and the geometry of consciousness. When we draw on the paper, weare also drawing in the implicate dimensions of the whole, and by so doing, activating transformationalcomputations.We have looked upon the face of God within creation for countless years and haven’t known it.We see the beauty of nature as we look at the forests, across the fields, down from the mountaintops,because it lives within us. The “face” within reflects the “face” without. How could we not respond toour world with the greatest care? Now we are looking consciously. Perception is our key. When wevisualize proportions and ratios, we form a communication with the forces of creation. These forces livewithin us: in our physical bodies and in our metaphysical light bodies. The spiritual scientists areresearching ways by which we can activate our light nature, and awaken a new phase of evolution.These basic geometric formulae are the mathematics of sacred symbols. Symbols and imagesare our means of engaging the forces of spirit and creation. How we use this gift is a function of thematurity of our hearts and minds. When we make art, we are exercising the mathematics ofconsciousness.Transcendental PhenomenologyWe respond to the geometry of life so deeply because we are intimately interwoven into the quantumcoherency (all implicating all) through which creation conducts itself. When we respond to art, we areresponding to the geometry of life. As we explore, we become increasingly conscious of our relationshipto the all, and how that reality functions. Perception is the integral experience that gives usconsciousness and creates the reality of which we are conscious. It is the activity of quantum physicsand quantum metaphysics within our personal sphere of influence. Art-making transforms perception.Bohm describes, from the view point of physics, how form occurs. The structure of reality is suchthat a non-local cause unfolds into a local event or form. Edmund Husserl in his search for a science ofphilosophy, discovered that the structure of reality forms from the relationship of intentionality andform, and developed a protocol by which we could use the power of limits to explore his liberatingdiscovery. Art-making makes intentionality visible.Phenomenology describes the structure of experience as the relationship between the noemaand noesis. Noema is thing or form, and noesis is essence or intentionality. Phenomenon is best24

understood through experience. It is through experience that we reflexively discover the relationship ofthe intentionality of essence and the reflection of form.Husserl used the term reduction to describe a protocol for transforming fixed, sedimentedbeliefs. In alchemy, reduction is the stage of calcination. It is “purification,” and does not infermaterialistic “narrowing” or “limiting.” It is a refining process. It is like the reduction process of refiningor purifying metal ore by heating. The aim of reduction is to focus and to deconstruct the perceptuallens caused by our sedimented beliefs. Individuation, as described by Carl Jung, is a process ofalchemical reduction, of purification, of separating the chaff from the wheat.The natural world is subjected to our beliefs: “Seeing is believing.” However, consider theconverse: that “believing is seeing.” In other words, we enforce the illusion of continuity because itprovides a sense of security and power. This is continuity based on our beliefs about appearances. Bohmand Husserl are saying that life is not as it seems. Appearance is an illusion. The causal truth is in theessence. In the broader sense of personal transformation, when we awaken to a deeper center of soul,we deconstruct our sense of self as ego. We are secure in ourselves rather than secure because of thesocially defined continuity of life. We collapse reality sets that separate, block, or reverse ourrelationship to the Whole. We become aware of the continuity asholomovement. When we use our perception to reinforcepreconceptions, we are acting and reacting in a way that isantagonistic to living a genuine soul-life in the natural world.Natural history unfolds from an implicate, causal history. Inthe quantum model, history is an implicate order of the explicateorder, not a linear event. History is a morphogenetic reality of thepresent. By resolving history, we change reality. Consider that we acton the environment based on our perception, which, in turn, affectsthe ecological balance of that environment and determines futureenvironmental health. Said another way, the environment respondsand appears to us based on our perception. Think about it. When weare making art, we are downloading named history from ourmorphogenetic field.Once these beliefs are formed, we tenaciously center ourworld view in them as if they are immutable truth. This idiosyncratictendency runs far deeper than we generally understand. Husserl’s protocol begins by focusing on anobject, while excluding all else, which he calls bracketing. The next step is the deconstruction of allbeliefs that shaped the perception of that object. At some point, this activity causes a perceptual shiftthat transports us into a state of consciousness in which we directly understand the essence orintentionality of that object. We experience an elevated consciousness in this transcendent state, whichmay include a sense of well being or feelings of bliss. This is what Husserl calls reduction. Through hisprotocol we actually become conscious of the non-local cause. Through the experiential correlation webecome aware of a two-tracked reality in which soul intends material form and form reflects spiritualintention.25

When we loosen the grip of fixed beliefs, we change our perception, freeing the flow of spirit toonce again inform us of the truth. The “truth” (noesis) is intentional movement correlating with thebracketed noema. In the experience of transcendental mind, Husserl knew the truth. He discovered thatfacts, rather than adding up to truth, are correlated with truth. In other words, the implicate correlateswith the explicate. A correlation exists because fact infers truth and truth intends fact. Variation in onecorresponds with variations in the other. For example, mental constructs (such as beliefs), physicalforms, and events correlate with the a priori intention, or essence, that structured our relationship tothem in the first place. We gain understanding through experiential thinking, by bridging the worlds ofessence and form. Essence and form are the “structure of experience.” This is the power of limits. Artmakingprovides reins for guiding or deconstructing these limits. Art is the power of transformation.Experience of NoesisLife examples of Husserl’s protocol happened to me as a child and again in my late teens. I discoveredthat when I simply focused my attention and suspended any thought, belief or interpretation, insightsflowed into my awareness, seemingly from an immense depth within me. Sometimes, my awarenesstransported itself into mind and soul realities. Other times, when I turned my vision inward and focusedon the perceptual darkness, a subtle light and archetypal images appeared. When I drew and journaledabout these images, I had further insights. There was a call within me to ask for a greater truth, to reachout within myself, forming a greater connection to holiness. I dared to “put away” the security offamiliar and accredited things and thoughts, and to touch the void. Life met me there. Waiting rightthere on the periphery of my attention, life, noesis, spirit, and holiness touched back.I had changed my relationship to the content of my life, and by so doing, transformed thecontext of my life. For me, the separation between the physical and metaphysical patterns of lifebecame less distinct. Fact and truth were no longer synonymous, yet continued to be correlated. Truthpromotes facts and facts reflect truth; yet, they are not synonymous. Such is the power of limits, and theexpression of limitless power.When we change the way we look at life, it changes the way it looks at us. Just after Army basictraining, I was selected as a subject in a sensory deprivation experiment. The University of Marylandconducted the research at the Presidio of Monterey in California. This was not one of the infamousmilitary psychedelic experiments. As a member of the test group, I was in a small room for three daysand nights. To limit sensory input (power of limits), the room was totally dark, soundproof, and kept atbody temperature. After a while, the room perceptually lit up. I saw amazing color, and light radiatedfrom the shapes that appeared to float in space. I also had out-of-body experiences in which I flew overthe Southern California landscape. This experience represented a substantial change for me. Somethingnew lived within me. There were many contexts from which, through a shift in my awareness, I couldexperience my relationship with life and with holiness in different ways. The sensory deprivationdeconstructed my mental sedimentation. When the sedimentation is loosened in this way, theexperience of noesis emerges. Noema gave way to noesis. The context, or limitation, of the safe roomgave way to the limitless mystery of worlds beyond.26

My experiences—the paying attention, letting go, and sensory deprivation—were forms ofreduction, which freed my perceptual fixity to move into the experience of essence. My perceptualcenter shifted from material mind to spiritual mind. I realized that the conversion and mysticalexperiences described in the Bible follow a similar protocol. Paul, on the road to Damascus, and John, onthe Isle of Patmos, experienced a deconstruction of their perceptual fixity and were transported, as Iwas, into a state of experience shaped by essence. Milarepa, a renowned Tibetan mystic, described hisexperience of spending long periods in the limited sensory environment of mountain caves in order todeconstruct his karma and realize enlightenment. Jesus had a similar experience fasting in thewilderness. My experiences gave me a taste of the accomplishments of these great mystics anddemonstrated to me the extreme therapeutic value of these universal techniques. It is from theseexperiences that I began formulating my theories of art therapy, archetypal psychology and the MandalaProcess.Self SimilarityThe “Golden Mean” presents itself to us as one ofthose interesting irrational numbers. “Irrational”means that it eludes rational control. As a ratio, itnever comes out even. The Golden Mean is1.61803... The dots indicate that no matter howmany places the number is carried to, it will neverbe even. That being so, we can read irrational asinfinite. The Golden Mean is irrational, yet integralto the relationship within nature, and in theproportions of our physical bodies. In a sense, it isthe heart number.When you find ancient structures based on the Golden Mean, you can be sure that the buildersintended an encoded information system. On one level, these systems were meant to conveyinformation, and on another, they were meant to be activated by human/spiritual consciousness inorder to make spiritual connections, awaken light patterns, draw out inner wisdom, and activate theharmonics of the spiritual worlds. When we make art, congruency of the form to spirit reflects asiterations of the Golden Mean. Regardless of style, “good art” will have decidedly more golden meanthan “not so good art.” For some, this is why it is called sacred geometry. The relationships are afunction of proportions reflected the form of God. Sacred is also the attitude with which we approach.We can approach worshipfully, which is reverent but notsacred. A sacred approach looks to the essence of allcreation as living and sacred. When we regard the sacred inlife, the inner essence opens to us, revealing the living lovewith everything, the quantum coherency, the Akasha. Wecall the sacred within us forward to engage the sacred in life.27

The Golden Mean is so significant that in various contexts, it has come to be called by manynames. Some of those names are Golden Section, Golden Cut, the Divine Proportion, the extreme andmean ratio, the perfect division, Phi, or the Greek Φ. The power is not in the number itself; rather it is inhow it formulates relationship. It is in the code the number represents. When we view it as a ratio of thesmall part to the large part, and of the large part to the whole, its cosmic meaning is revealed. Thepower and cosmic dimension of Phi becomes seen, in that, though it is infinite, it is contained within thewhole. Each part is defined by the whole. Division is always contained in the whole, and defines eachpart by the whole. It is irrational unity. Thus, David Bohm’s quantum statement: all is limited by thewhole.Because of the universal code in all creation, we experience a transfer of information when oursmall part (us) is in accord with the large part (creation). As creation unfolds, the pattern of the creatoris replicated throughout allpermutations of the creation.Whatever we create is an iterativefractal formula of our archetypal andspiritual essence. This is the origin of“as above, so below,” “macro andmicrocosm,” “made in the image andlikeness,” and “if you have seen me,you have seen the father.” When we make mandalas, we create aniteration of our consciousness through self-similarity. God is the whole. Ego is the small part. Higher selfis the large part. When we do our part in relationship to our high self, God will do its part. The GoldenMean reveals the co-creative relationship.Duality is diversity outside the unity. The Golden Mean is a tertiary dynamic. As with the reins,we are connected and communicating. It is diversity within the unity. In this dynamic, unity divides itselfand remains undivided. The relationship of unity and diversity is triune. Duality teaches us contrast,discernment, choice, and cause and effect. It also holds keys to unity. The shadow side is that fromduality, we can create scientific, religious, political, social, and cultural realities that are disharmoniousto, or “outside” of, unity. Outside means a loss of nexus or kinship. The disharmonious acts like it isseparate, while it is actually contained in the holomovement. The Golden Mean represents a “grace-28

ased reality,” whereas, when we createthrough dichotomies, our lives are formulatedand resolved through consequences, cause andeffect, the law, karma. Grace transforms karma.We recognize ourselves in creation andthrough our creations. The construction of ourbodies reflects the Golden Mean, from cells tobody proportions. We see here the bodyproportions of the Golden Mean. This will haveinterest again when we explore the archetypeof the primal, or cosmic, person. The archetypalproportion forms the implicit pattern for theexplicit body form. Art at its most pleasing willreflect the Phi ratio because our spiritualblueprint is also based on the Phi ratio. Theproportions of our bodies conform to theGolden Mean, as do the proportions of a porpoise’s body.The mythologies of creation reflect the principle of the Golden Mean. Shiva created the universeby disintegrating undifferentiated unity. The Kabala speaks of creating the universe through adivision of the One. This relationship is evident in the Apostle John’s account of creation: In thebeginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. (McIntosh, 51)The tripartite division of unity is evident. Further, Jesus states:’He who has seen me has seen the Father.’ Jesus understood the Golden Mean. Jesus–the Son ofMan (the small p art)–is to the divine Jesus–the Son of God (the large part)–as Jesus the son ofGod is to God the Father (the whole). (McIntosh, 52)The encoded importance is that Jesus symbolizes the Golden Mean, the pattern of creation. Weare the Christ, becoming, in that our physical and metaphysical bodies are structures of the GoldenMean. Any created form carries the signature of its creator. We create in our own image and likeness,through self-similarity. As our creations increasingly resonate with the Phi ratio, we re-awaken ourinherent kinship with the creator. When we create out of separation from self and unity, our creation isdiscordant, alienating, and ecologically harmful.The Phi ratio, or Golden Mean, appears throughout nature. The pentagram, as a variation of theGolden Mean, appears in the cross-section of apples and in the formation of flowers. Fruit flowers arefive-petalled, as is the distribution of the fruit. Sunflower seeds are arranged in Golden Mean spirals,and the ratio of the left-to-right turning spirals is a Phi ratio. The pentagonal pattern appears most oftenin organic nature, while the spiral is more often seen in inorganic nature. The distances between theplanets in our solar system are Phi ratios.29

The proportions of the human body – just like the positioning of the planets and theorganization of spiral nebulae – are built upon the Phi ratio. The distance between the first joint and thewhole finger is phi, as is the finger to the hand, and so forth throughout the entire body.In the sunflower, we see sacred geometry describing the structure of the flower. We can see thegrowth from the meeting place of two sets of spirals, one moving clockwise and one counter-clockwise.These are Golden Mean spirals. These spirals construct the pattern of the flower, as well as DNA,nebulae, and the metaphysical geometry of human consciousness. Later we will see the physics of howwe function as a bridge between heaven and earth, which recapitulates the same dynamics. Mitosis andmeiosis, the very process of the act of life, accomplishes its purpose through the interaction of thesesame forces. This growth occurs in the ratio of the Golden Mean.Just as the angular rotation of spirals generates the pattern of the flower, these spirals have acorollary in the Merkaba spirals that function as the metaphysical communication within form. As wewill explore later, the Merkaba appears symbolically as two interlaced triangles (as in the Star of David),and geometrically as two interlaced tetrahedrons. When we make mandalas, we engage the angularrelationship of the Golden Mean generating form through interacting spirals – just as nature generatesflowers. Through archetypal psychology, we learn to take hold of the invisible, make it visible, and usethat to transform our lives.30

Fibonacci SeriesPhyllotaxis is the study of the distributions of branches. Branches follow the Fibonacci pattern as ameans of gaining maximum light exposure. As a physical and metaphysical ratio, phi determines themaximum exposure to “light.” In any growing system, whether mineral or organic, the phi is the ratio ofgrowth. Growth occurs naturally from the inside out. As well, the accumulation of growth forms thatresult in living organisms, and the grouping of cooperative organisms (such as bugs, bees, fish schools,birds, swarms of insects) are usually governed by self-similarity, as formulated by the Golden Mean. Theratio of one revolution of the DNA helix is approximately the Phi ratio. The cross-section of the DNA is astar-decagon, which is derived from the pentagon, with a ratio of side-to-radius of Phi. The Egyptiansunderstood the principle of the Golden Mean as the creative function. The Phi is a fundamental principlein the design of the great pyramid of Giza.The Fibonacci series expresses self-similarity. The series begins with one and zero and evolves bya process of addition. The next number is derived by adding the last two numbers in the sequence.0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, 377...It is much like life. By adding to itself what it already is, it becomes its next progression.By dividing each number in the line by the one before it, you arrive at a number close to theGolden Mean. The larger the number in the series, the closer to the mean, l.61803.... The series, like phi,is generated entirely by the number one interacting with itself. We can look at the Fibonacci Series as ametaphor for sequential drawing episodes. As we begin to draw with a transformational intention, eachdrawing represents a new Fibonacci set. As the one continues interacting with itself, each drawingincreasingly reflects greater metaphorical congruency with the Phi ratio. In other words, we enhance thecongruent relationship of “the small-part is to the large-part as the large-part is to the whole,” as shownin the Golden Mean rectangle. Said another way, we increasingly become our true self through asequence of transformational iterations. Why is this important? I am not completely sure, other than adeep appreciation that it is fascinating and another demonstration of the power of limits in theactualization of the Mandala of the Soul.DinergyAs a means to explore the power of limits, György Doczi coined the term dinergy.Many terms refer to aspects of the pattern forming process of the union of opposites, butstrangely enough none expresses its generative power. Polarity refers to opposites but withoutthe indication that something new is being born. Duality and dichotomy indicate division, but donot mean joining. Synergy indicates joining and cooperation, but does not refer specifically toopposites. Since there is no adequate single word for this universal pattern creating process, anew word, dinergy, is proposed. Dinergy is made up of two Greek words: dia–“across, through,31

opposite;” and “energy.” In the daisy this dinergic energy is the creative energy of organicgrowth.(Doczi, 3)Dinergy is the function of polarities to create energy for free use or to mediate opposition. Inthe dynamic relationship between polarities and the whole in which they exist is the key to manifestingand collapsing dysfunctional, distorted or limiting creations. The force of unifying opposites creates apower greater than the initial duality. When opposites collide, a higher power is needed to formresolution. The torsion field of heart shows the counter-rotating spirals of the dinergy. Unfolding spiralsrotate out from a point, while the resolutions of clashing opposites rotate inward. The same patternexists in spiral galaxies or in a bubble chamber when particles loose final energy. We saw an example ofthis in the student’s narration of connecting being present and being distracted. Dinergy occurred andunified the student’s consciousness.Ram’s horns grow in a spiral as mediation for clashing heads. The Nautilus mediates thepressure of the ocean in a similar pattern. Waves, as the ocean meets the beach, form a Golden Meanspiral. Dust devils and tornadoes resolve massive gradients of high and low pressures. Birds, takingflight, spiral into the air in a similar way.The dynamic movement of the Golden Mean as a creative, pattern-forming process develops asa union of complementary opposites. This dynamic appears in the vesica piscis, and in the subsequentsequential creation of the regular solid forms. Yin and Yang – the union of opposites – has been sinceancient times an important concept in mythologies and religions. As we have seen, the major and minorproportions of the Golden Mean are opposites united in an harmonious whole. In the sunflower, theopposites of straight radii and rotating circle generate the pattern formation of the flower.When two forces come together, creation or destruction occurs. Dinergy is creation out of twoencountering forces. Imagine now the power of limits. When you look around you - at the stars, themoving planets, the growing and blooming field of life, the whirlpool made by water as it releases downa drain - the same basic universal geometries are in play.When we are centered and in observer mode, we are conscious in the implicate order, thematrix of the whole. In a sense, we are everywhere present. We are at what Bradden and others callzero-point. When we hold a polarity, as in focusing our hands with intention, while witnessing, energymanifests. When we do this and visualize various colors, variations of energy manifest. When we do thisand visualize an archetype, the energy of that archetype expands and unfolds. We are applyingLoweler’s reins. When we grab a distorted pattern in one hand and our unity in the other and drop ourobservation into the whole, the distortion collapses. For us to explore these phenomena, we need thebasic skills of energy awareness, centering, observing and imagination.32

As we have seen, the major and minor proportions of the Golden Mean are opposites united inan harmonious whole. In the sunflower, the opposites of straight radii and the rotating circle generatethe pattern formation of the flower. When two forces come together, creation or destruction occurs.Dinergy is creation out of two encountering forces. In phenomenology, this is what Husserl called noemaand noesis – the dynamic through which deconstructing perceptual fixity creates the experience ofunderstanding. Limits provide the frequency that is the heartbeat of creation. Without limits, circulationof the infinite would not be possible.AttractorsChaos theory was developed in order to understand complex systems, such as weather, fluid motion,ecosystems, economics, etc. These systems appear to develop through iterative, non-linear processes ofself-replication. The self-replication begins with a code or ratio and elaborates a complexity that followsthe law of the original code which we discussed earlier as self-similarity. Chaos infers a higher orderreality. Phi appears on the frontier of translating chaos into order as the attractor that organizes thatreality.The Golden Mean acts as the naturally occurring formula by which dynamical systems balancethe regions of stability and instability within their structures. In other words, the Golden Mean isan attractor at the edge of chaos – the boundary between the finite and the infinite. Because it isthe simplest possible relationship that provides for simultaneous arithmetic (linear) andgeometric (non-linear) expansion, Phi functions as a “binary switch” that produces the recursivefeedback loop that underlies all dynamical systems. Because the Golden Mean is the mostfundamental expression of self-similarity, it acts as a generative principle for the self-organizingsystems that drive the progress of evolution. (McIntosh, 49).As a metaphor, we see this same attractor function in our reflexive relationship with life. Wecreate, modify, and transform our relationship with life by existing in unity and duality at the same time.Life mirrors our internal relationship between our self and our internally held beliefs, thoughts,archetypes and feelings. In our reflexive experience we express and modify our expressionsimultaneously. This is why objective science is suspect. Our observation selects reality and ourreflection modifies reality.The universe is a sea of primal particles, providing a universal substance for creation. The codesfor organizing the particles begin as a simple triangular relationship of manifestation, action and return.The attractor transforms chaos into order. Consider that our role in creation is as an attractor. Considerthat perception and functioning within that (us as observer) generates an attractor field. Perhaps, ourperceptive nature is such that the unfolding of the universe functions in relationship to ourunderstanding and our capacity to reach into a higher consciousness while being grounded in the planeof earth. When we make art we are exercising our capacity as attractors. By deconstructing our33

sedimented beliefs, we create chaos from contrived order, and then, as attractors, transform our realityinto a higher order of organization.Keys of PowerSelf-similarity, dinergy and attractor are functions of the power of limits. Whenself-similarity is congruent, it reflects Phi with greater resonance and elaborationoccurs within the whole. This is our ability to co-create as an integral beingwithin the creator. Dinergy is our ability to create resolution, unity, and noesisthrough the resolution of opposites. Our higher nature is to resolve opposites:we are mediators and transformers. As attractors we make sense out of chaos. Itis our nature to manifest higher order in the evidence of chaos.Pythagoras realized that the regular geometric forms resonated to theprimal, archetypal spiritual forms of our consciousness. He developed a spiritualpractice of contemplating the regular geometric solids. The contemplation of theforms activated the spiritual center and attuned the student to what Pythagorascalled the Superior and Supreme worlds. These practices unlocked their inherentwisdom. Each form reflects an elemental and spiritual center. The solids are:tetrahedron (four triangles, fire, base of the spine), cube (six squares, earth,sacrum), octahedron (eight triangles, air, solar plexus), icosahedron (20 triangles,water, heart) and dodecahedron (12 pentagons, deity, throat, brain, universalplan, Akasha, 12 immortals, the vehicle of the immortals). To this, add the sphere(the most perfect form, the Monad, one-that-is-everything, head, and transpersonal).The Mandala Process takes us through the permutations of Pythagoras’ practice using theregular geometric solids as integral to the archetypal terrain through which we are traveling. As such,we are activating and integrating the power of our archetypal centers and unfolding the wisdom innatein the geometry of life as we go.34

Chapter ThreeCOSMIC PERSONKadmon, the cosmic, primal person is the archetype for Self. As we will see, the Kadmon archetype isthe intentional drive of our evolution and development. As personality, we are the microcosm of thecosmic person. Just as the wholeness divides itself, within itself, without separation, we do the same. Asstated in the Golden Mean, the small part (personality/ego) is to the large part (Kadmon/cosmic person)as the large part is to the whole. Jesus stated this when he said, “When you see me you see the father,”and “I and the father are one.” From the Koran, the principle of Talweid states that any act ofdomination or separation is an affront to this one. Separation is an illusion that we are allowed toexplore if we want. Within this, we can also appreciate that it is in our separation that we understandthe whole. This is true because there is only one and we are all related. The same principle appears inBuddhism. The transformational effect of the Mandala Process is to resolve separation and the effects ofdomination. When we enter The Studio, we are in a coherency inducing field. The cosmic archetype is acoherent field. It is the archetypal self in which we, as personality, are embedded. When we activate ourrelationship to this form, we initiate a cohering or integrative process within our psyche. Our sense ofself expands. From Wikipedia:In the religious writings of Kabbalah, Adam Kadmon is a phrase meaning "Primal Man". Theoldest rabbinical source for the term "Adam ha-Kadmoni" is Num. R. x., where Adam is styled,not as usually, "Ha-Rishon" (the first), "Ha-Kadmoni" (the original). It is said that Adam Kadmonhad rays of light projecting from his eyes. In Lurianic Kabbalah, Adam Kadmon acquired anexalted status equivalent to Purusha in the Upanishads, denoting the Manifest Absolute itself. Inthis variant of mythopoetic cosmoenesis and anthropogenesis, the "Adam Soul" is described asthe primeval soul that contained all human souls. Adam Kadmon is comparable to the Anthroposof Gnosticism and Manichaeism. There is also a similar concept in Alevi and Sufic philosophycalled Insan-i Kamil, the Perfect or Complete Man.BodyConsider your physical body. Whatever the metaphysical, psychological, imaginal or genetic variants, welive our lives in a male or female body. There are a few people that are physically both male and female,which demonstrates that all variations are possible. Consider that all bodies are bilaterallysymmetrical—almost. The right side, more or less, mirrors the left side but theright and left side are not quite mirror images. This brings with it a new rangeof variation. We are both male and female within our gender form. The point isthat, in our oneness, or wholeness, we are male and female and we are amicrocosm of the whole or All. As well, we symbolize and attach meaning toour body, which creates meaning structures and psychosomatic connections35

and relationships. Our bodies are nested within an energy matrix --a field ofconsciousness—our noetic self. This is the way we link information andenergy flows within our dimensional nature. Our implicate nature is formholding,a morphic field. Our implicate nature is also form-making, ormorphogenetic.Our bodies also reflect a triangular energy system. Physically, we area magnetic energy technology. The right/left polarity is like the poles of abattery. Because of the polarity, we can draw energy from life. For most, thatmeans sleeping to recharge. However, when we live congruently with ournature and purpose, we seem to draw from a greater resource. Our center isthe third element of our energy system. From our polarity, we exchangeenergy with our life. From our center, we access energy beyond the realm of our biology.Life reflects our internal life. From our experience we construct meaning. The symbols andimages that encode this meaning make it an easy input into the information stream of the morphic field.Life moves through our unconscious and uses that information to form the events in our lives. It is in thisrelationship with experience that we re-formulate the information that informs and forms life. Wecontinually choose to maintain the status quo or modify it. For the most part, we reference ourmeaning-making endeavors to our physical body. Our awareness of self, as ego living in a physical world,is symbolically organized in reference to self as physical and soul as center. We then shape our psychic(emotional, mental) concept of self in reference to our bodies. As the source of our sense of self shiftsfrom ego to soul, we increasingly index meaning to our spirit. As this shift occurs, we develop a greaterbalance of preservation and transformational meaning.As we make meaning, we store this information symbolically in the space in which our physicalbodies exist. From a Jungian perspective, we can call this the personal unconscious. By extension, ourbodies are nested in the personal unconscious,collective unconscious and universalunconscious, respectively. Subjectively, welook at life through this field of meaning and itcolors what we see. As we will explore later, italso affects how morphic energy flows throughour internal dimensional and physicalstructures, thus affecting the functioning of ourbody, mind and emotions, and our physical andpsychic functioning.Western culture trains us to ignore orseparate physical and psychic sensations. Whatwe sense physically is real and what we sensein terms of feeling and thought is subjectiveand not so real, yet we often behave as if thesubjective is true. Our challenge is to learn howto refine how we register and make sense of36

our extrasensory experiences. We can resolve this conflict by opening our awareness and integratinghow we evaluate external and internal information. To do this, we open our latent, or repressed,capacity for extrasensory experience, along with our capacity to be aware of and be able to articulate, ina descriptive sense, what we are experiencing in a given present moment. In this way we can trackchanges in our consciousness based on subtle shifts in awareness. For example, when you have aninsight, what do you experience? What is the contrast of that experience to your awareness just beforethe insight? We base our measure on a shift in our awareness indicated by a change in body sensation,feeling, or sense of self. In this way we can develop a scientific approach. The before experiencecontrasts to the after experience giving us an assessment of the intervening variable. The interveningvariable is some kind of event, insight or reflected information.The body is an electrochemical organism, nested in a morphic field. When we regard our bodyas symbol, we link the field nature of self and the body natureof self in our awareness. By so doing, we enhance thecommunication between the two. By imaging or symbolizingbody, we provide a means of sensory connection to the subtlelevels of experience and the physical, psychic, psychologicaland archetypal codes that inform those respective systems.When we see, hear, taste, smell or touch, we connect withthe field of our consciousness in a much more profound waythan just registering physical stimulus or unconsciouspsychosomatic reactions.Our hands are archetypal in themselves because ofthe role they play in the process of art-making. At first glance,we are aware of our hands manipulating the various media of the activity, i.e., paper, pastels, watercolors, pencils, etc. From an archetypal perspective, much more is occurring. When we draw a symbol,we are also connecting with the dimensional field of that symbol and initiating a conversation betweenthe meaning encoded in our unconscious field and the reflected pattern in our drawing. When wecenter in the unified field and grab the symbols of art with our hands, we activate a linkage between theart and the unconscious sphere. When we make art, we organize images into relationships that, thoughappearing on the paper, extend into their corresponding forms in the emotional, mental and archetypaldimensions of self. When we do this, we act as an agency of unity, expressing transformation and subtlechange in the way we inform reality. Whatever our state of psychological health, when we make art, theunity state will flow through the conflict, consternation and polarization of the issues and bring abouttransformation. The activity of art-making is a microcosm of our life, so as we transform through artmaking,we transform our life. This occurs because we can consciously intervene and changeinformation in the innate self-organizing activity of our consciousness.37

Unpacking KadmonArchetypal psychology is often pursued abstractly. This isan indirect approach which requires us to infer meaningand relationships. In the Mandala Process, we open thechannels of our perception and engage the archetypalreality directly, consciously. Our physical body is a portal toour greater self.The archetypal realm organizes using the same relationships as thephysical realm. We exist in the center and the realm in which we are aware exists as a context in whichwe have life. There is always a center and a circumference when we experience existence on any level.To understand this, we continually explore the relationship of the microcosm and macrocosm of life; asabove so below.As we unpack the Kadmon archetype, we begin with the now-familiar center and circumference.We are all discovering the meaning of self and life based on ourselves, so universal themes will alwaysbe understood and acted on idiosyncratically, in terms of the unique spin we each give to the universal.As our macrocosmic self, we are the archetypal person. Our self as physical typal, microcosmic, personflows from the archetypal construction. From center, Rudolf Steiner said, “Our soul approaches us fromthe horizon.” Our soul is also the deepest essence. Each episodic resolution adds substance to the primalimpulse to journey out of the void; to live, love, experience, and fulfill the best of our natures. The voidis not empty. It is the source from which all form unfolds. It is the implicate order that David Bohm saidis the constructor of local, physical reality. In his quantum reality, our only limitation is the movement ofthe whole. All form implies a deeper, causal reality. With the vertical line, we stand between earth andsky, heaven and earth. On the horizontal line, we reach out; our arms grasp life, give life, and reorganizelife into objects and creations. So, here we have the basic archetype of human kind.The Kadmon archetype begins with the symbol of the circle and cross, with the dot in the centerof the cross. This is the universal geography of all mandalas and the structure of perception. Throughouthistory, humanity used this configuration, with varying culturally-evolved symbology, to bridge into theinner reality and to engage and collaborate with transcendent forms and states. They did so out of asense of kinship and unity. In this we have an archetype for the universal pattern of humanconsciousness in its macrocosmic and microcosmic expression. The Kadmon was the first person, bothmale and female, and is the archetype upon which we function and elaborate our understanding of life.Creation myths illustrate their version of Kadmon in their various cultural scenarios for the primal,cosmic person. Adam and Eve lived in a garden—powerful archetype. The story that continues unfolds asequence of events that transferred their consciousness for an archetypal existence into the physicalworld: they name, curiosity leads them to self-consciousness and then they realize they have a body.This sounds somewhat like our own developmental journey in the first seven years of our lives. So, wehave ontology as a race and as an individual that unfolds from the movement of the whole.38

We recognize a basic symbol for the human body in this simpleline drawing. By joining this symbol with the more abstract circle andcross, we can begin to build a sense of archetype for humanconsciousness. We see the human person centering in the circumference.We will discover, as we explore drawing mandalas, that the basic Kadmonarchetype, as it is here geometrically represented, will be implicit in everymovement and image. In our personal evolution the ego is metaphoricallycoal or lead. Gold or diamond symbolizes the transformation of the egointo the substance of the soul.In the Mandala Process, drawing is a metaphor for the creationstory. We make our “image and likeness” as the creator made us in its “image and likeness.” The paperis the void. We move the brush, crayon, pencil, or oil pastel, across the face of the “deep” – in this case,paper. By so doing, we make visible the invisible. The outer reflects the inner. Our internal universereveals itself through art. In like manner, our sojourn recapitulates reflexively through our drawing.Our intentionality drives the drawing activity, making our unconscious patterns conscious. Thereis a noetic communication facilitated by our seeing and loving, whichprecipitates insight, revelation, epiphany and transformation. Art-making is areflexive activity between noesis and noema. As we prepare to draw, webegin with a specific intent. We form the intent ahead of time, or we discoverit based on the revelation of each drawing. At times our drawing is precededby a meditation or an experiential challenge.Torsion FieldsHaving seen now how the Mandala Process engages the earlier work ofdeveloping our childhood will, by encoding the cosmic archetype into thenature of our physical incarnation, we continue developing the primal Kadmon. The heart is a torsionfield. That is, it beats through the interaction of an ascending and descending electromagnetic field.Torsion field is a scientific term for what the ancients refered to as the Merkaba, or light body. In theKadmon archetype, two interlaced triangles represent the torsion field. This symbol apears throughoutthe world in various forms. Popular forms are seen in the Star of David and in the Sri Yantra. The symbolconnects us to the interaction of the flow of consciousness from above and below. It is the dynamicrendition of our capacity to be a bridge between heaven and earth. The energy, or consciousness, flowsfrom above as a clockwise turning vortex, and from below as a counter-clockwisevortex. The orientation is as if a person is standing on a clock face, facing thenumber twelve.The ancient term for the light body is Merkaba. Mer refers to a specifickind of electromagnetic light. This light is a “white gold“ made of the fusion ofmetaphysical gold and silver, the ida and the pingali currents of the kundalini. It isthe liquid light equivalent of the sound current. The “flesh” of the “word become39

flesh.” Ka is the individual spirit body. It is the etheric template for the physical body. This bodyfunctions in the context of a higher octave etheric body that is the archetypal template of the soul’sjourney. Ba is the body resulting from the interaction of the ka and the environment in which theindividual embodies. We have our current physical bodies because the environment requires theseforms in order for us to live in the physical reality. As the planet evolves, so do our bodies. Essentially,the Light Body is an electrical, male, clockwise spiral into life and a magnetic, female, counter-clockwisespiral returning into the higher dimensions. Mother earth and father sky. All life and living forms requirethe interaction of male and female spiraling energy.A living spirit circulates through the central axis into dimensional form. The mer-ka-ba instructsthe transformation of our genetic template by fusing the dimensional geometries of the etheric matrixand our physical body. Our psychological nature must be in alignment with our spiritual nature. This isaccomplished by transforming our limiting and distorted psychological, environmental, and genetic past.This past is sustained as holographic codes in the eight-foot, spherical morphic field that surrounds andinterpenetrates our etheric template and physical body. In Jungian terms, this is the personalunconscious mind. It is in this field that we change our past. Traumatic events from our life experiencehave a distorting impact on the star pattern, causing it to operate out of balance or not at all. In theMandala Process, various art-making activities clear and balance the various judgements, beliefs,traumas, thought forms and distortions that limit, distort and block the movement of the merkaba.Balancing the Energy FieldBy balancing the energy field, the structures of the star tetrahedrons are brought into alignment, which,in turn, enhances the communication between the Kadmon archetype and the physical body. As weproceed through the reading, and apply the practices and activities of this writing and the MandalaProcess, we purify and balance our field of consciousness such that the Merkaba activates, awakening inus a stronger sense of center, vitality, and internal communication. A distortion in the star tetrahedronarchetype reflects beliefs and attitudes that are antagonistic and competitive with our central nature.We experience being cut off, or isolated, within ourselves. This is a process of purification.Each chakra (also considered archetypal components of the cosmicperson) reflects into the etheric counterpart and the points of the star. Allof the practices for awakening and balancing the centers help in thisprocess. Imbalances in the energy field disrupt the symmetry of the LightBody, thus disrupting the free flow of energy and information from thecentral axis, the matrix. If the Light Body began its counter-rotating spinwhile imbalanced, the spin would amplify distortion. This is a naturalprotection. Further, the form would become imbalanced and possiblyharmful to the individual. On the other hand, the rotating field couldbalance the field, dissolving the distortions or releasing them as mental,emotional, or physical toxins. By resolving issues through varioustherapeutic protocols, the internal flow of spiritual energy increases and40

deepens the individual’s sense of center and self. By pursuing protocols that engage and align theinternal flows of energy, various psychological issues are made conscious and transformed. We beginthe process of purifying and activating this torsion field with the first Color Meditation (below).Each tetrahedron in the star relates to the mer: light energy. To continue with our archetypalrelationships, the upper tetrahedron is the sun energy. Our fathers directly affect the symmetry of thesun tetrahedron. It also relates to the gold current of light. The lower tetrahedron is the earth, or moon,tetrahedron and its relative symmetry is directly affected by our mothers. There is a link between thebalance of the tetrahedrons of the star and our genetic-psychological inheritance. For that reason, thebalance of male and female, as it relates to our archetypal nature through our soul path and geneticpath, is essential.Spiral EnergyThe spiral energy has no beginning or end. It unfolds out of the unmanifestedon the sound current, or “voice of God.” Since sacredgeometry relates directly to the “word become flesh,” – or thegenetic sp iritual constitution of our physical being: the startetrahedron,or Merkaba – it is important for us to understand in avisceral and physical way. There is a simple and enjoyable way to dothis by inducing energy fields through the geometric arrangement ofour physical bodies. The following instructions guide thisexperiment.1. One person stands in the center of an equilateral trianglecomposed of three other people.2. The three people stand on the corners of a regular triangleat a distance that allows them to easily hold hands. Theirhands and outstretched arms are straight, forming the sides of the regular triangle. The triangleformed reflects three corners of the tetrahedron. The fourth corner is implied. The coordinatedgroup provides amplification, and their configuration selects the way energy moves.3. The person in the center will experience the spiral energy focused by the group. In order to dothis, he or she stands straight, but not rigid, and relaxes in a way that the body is free to move orsway. Eyes can be open or closed. The key is to go with the experience and trust the bodymovement, even when it feels you may fall. Let the body show you how to compensate.4. Depending on the height of the people involved, the center person may need a stepstool fromtime to time. The center person experiments by facing a flat side of the triangle for awhile, andthen, toward a corner. The effect may be different for men and women.5. Remember, there are two tetrahedrons forming the counter-rotating star. To emphasize theearth tetrahedron, the triangle group holds their arms at the center person’s heart level. Thiscan be facilitated by crouching slightly, standing taller or putting the person on a stool.41

Color Breathing Meditation6. To emphasize the star tetrahedron, the triangle group holds their armsat the knee level of the center person. The group may have to kneel or use astool for the center person.7. In order to explore this thoroughly, participants trade roles until eachhas been in the two triangles and the center position.We now have a symbolic base from which we can move into action. The colors of the rainbow representthe building blocks of life throughout our dimensional construction. When we consider these energies asalive, we will experience them in a full dimensional way that is organic to our cosmic or archetypalnature. As we practice this viewpoint, we build a relationship to the wholeness of life. We revive oursense of kinship with all that is. Each color passes through a wide range of meanings as well. Each coloris an archetype enfolding the various contours of meaning derived from cultural and individualexperience. We can view colors as a matrix that forms life in particular functions; then, within that, weenhance or distort the color matrix with implication of our meaning. Colors are universal archetypes,appearing across time and culture.Just as our physical body is the center of our self meaning in the physical/ego world, weorganize our sense of cosmic or soul self in terms of our center. We all have felt a state that werecognize as “centered.” It is a very secure and strong experience. Our center, as we observe in thediagrams, is also an axis that is continuous from above, through the center of our body (typicallythrough our spine) and extending below. We organize archetypal meaning along this center. We couldcall it a soul-axis. When centered we access our sense of self from our soul. A centered state ofconsciousness enables us to re-evaluate the sense of self (ego)that we developed from the reflected events in the physicalworld.As a means of activating our awareness, and to explorethe archetypal relationship between Kadmon and our individualsense of self, we will use the color breathing meditation. I liketo refer to meditations, such as the color breathing meditation,as experiments. As such, we can practice a basic scientificprotocol, assessing our awareness before and after themeditation. The comparison leads to understanding theexperience of the meditation. The illustration provides a mapof the terrain we will explore.1. Sit in an open body posture that allows you to alignyourself is a symmetrical way.2. Take a deep breath and relax.42

3. Be aware of your loving, and bring that awareness through and around your body.4. Bring your awareness into your center. Visualize your center as a column of light originating highabove your head, passing through the top of your head, along your spine, out your coccyx, andcontinuing far below you.5. Become aware of your breathing.6. In sequence with your breathing, imagine a light originating in the central channel high above youand far below you.7. On your in-breath, see this light move from above and below in to your body, joining in your heart.When you reach capacity, briefly hold your in-breath and focus on the light in your heart.8. On the exhale, see the light move through the cells of your body and fill the space around yourbody.9. Continue this process for a few cycles and then visualize red. Breathe the red color in from aboveand below, into your heart. Hold it, then see it move through your cells and into the space aroundyour body on the out-breath.10. Continue this process, using the following colors, changing color every few breaths. Red, orange,yellow, green, blue, indigo, purple, silver, gold, turquoise, white, and lastly, clear or transparent.11. When you have passed through each color, relax into your space and move with the momentum ofthis process.12. When you are ready, open your eyes and make a color drawing of your experience.ONTOLOGYWhen I first began looking into this, I remembered reading that, universally, children begin to draw firstthe circle, then the square and then the triangle. I practiced a meditation technique for awhile, in whicheach day I would visualize a circle with a dot in the center for five minutes, then a cross, and then finishwith a triangle. The meditation was designed to align and secure the conscious, basic and high self, orconscious, unconscious and super-conscious. This reminded me of Pythagoras’ developmentalprescription to students. In Pythagoras’ time, they visualized the five regular solids. Times were differentthen; they spent a year on each form.When I searched for these earlier references, a colleague pointed me to Michaela Strauss’ work,Understanding Children’s Drawings: Tracing the Path of Incarnation. I was immediately struck by thesimilarity of the sequential development of the child as reflected in their drawings, to the cosmic personarchetype of Kadmon that moves through the Mandala Process. Further, it was clear to me that thedrawing process was more than an artistic expression. It was an actual activity of bridging the archetypalrealm with the physical body and embedding the primal person codes into the framework of the lifepath. Making art is natural conduit through which we encode our physical lives with the cosmic self.Primal art-making is a correlary to “In the begining was the word and the word was with god and theword became flesh and dwelt among us.“ When we touch crayon to paper, it is our hand that movesupon the “face of the deep.“ That depth that moves the hand is the ontological environment formwhich the The Mandala of the Soul unfolds.43

Children begin by creating big loops that come from distant spaces; these constitute theoverture in which all the main themes are already intoned. In their drawings childrenreveal realms with which at this early age they are still intimately connected.Long before the child does pictorial illustrations, lines are visible on paper whichare not related to objects. They appear as flowing rhythms, which gradually materializeas a symbolical language of forms. Illustrative elements enter only gradually into thecompositions. The drawings of this early stage show in an impressive way how intenselythe child lives till the third year in movement and rhythm. The chalk reveals the childwriting dancingly in space; choreographies—lines of rhythmic-dynamic life. They areprocesses, which condense out of primeval movement and finally come to rest insymbolical, geometrical forms. ( Strauss, 15)When you watch young children make their fist drawings, you are witnessing an amazing event.The first drawings we make are clockwise spirals and circles. The spirals move from the perifery into thecenter. This is the incarnating process and reflects the first formulation of the cosmic person unfoldingfrom the void or formless, from beyond archetype. This is nous, the first wind or breath of spirit intoform—the word made flesh. The archtypal person moves spontaneously, as the intentionality within ourmovement to draw, and we make conscious the the archetypal self. It appears to me that this imagemakingbehavior links our developing physical self with the cosmic archetype of self, the one self. In thisprocess, all of the basic mandala-contextual geometry is represented. We are incarnating ourselvesthrough drawing, and the geometries and codes are the ones that link our cosmic and physical selves.As our bodies develop, we create the information link through drawing. The master archetype ofwho we are is the Cosmic Person, or Kadmon. As we make art, we circulate this primal spiritual forcethrough the complexity of our life. In early childhood, this process develops will. When we repeat thisprocess as adults, we become conscious--we reflect and transform. Now we use that will to transformour self-awareness into cosmic awareness.We are the incarnation of the universe discovering itself. As the child draws, the person is born.In the first seven years - especially the first three - the developmental stage is the incarnation of theetheric (archetypal). Just as Kadmon is the archetype of self, the world of Kadmon, the universalunconscious (etheric realm) is also the archetype for the world around us that forms the context for lifein the physical world. The archetypal world reflects the physical world as internal landscape, and thephysical world reflects the archetypal in its landscape. The movement in drawing reflects the soundpatterns of the primal formation as the soul engages and encodes the primal being.The instrument of the body and its given functions are of course already there before the childtakes up the chalk. Yet impulses are obviously at work building up and forming the wholeorganism. …Structured shapes crystallize out of flowing forms that arise out of primevalmovement…The shaping element becomes part of form-creating movement. (Strauss, 16-17)44

We see in the early drawings the recapitulation ofimages made in the dawning of humanity. We can see inearly humanity and in the modern child the influence ofKadmon as an evolutionary imperative.Parallels can be seen between young children’s drawingsand the evidence of early history of art and culture. It isquite clear that the child’s symbolic expressions are also tobe seen in the finds of early cultures. (Strauss, 17)From conception to birth, embryonic development recapitulates the evolution of life on thisplanet, and it does so using the evolution of inorganic (so-called non-living) and vegetable substances.So when we look to the mountains, the oceans, the plains, birds of the air, animals of the field andforest, into the sky and stars, into the center of the earth, we see the same archetypes that formulatethe full term of our gestation in the womb. Then, birth and new cycles begin.We traced the transformation of the circling movement, and found that it starts a sphere andcontracts to a point. The rhythmic looping in harmony with the cosmos diminishes and a pointnow lies in the middle of the circle and starts creating a new arrangement around itself. Thecross, the axial element, is placed in space. Here children experience the structuring of theenvironment through the forces emanating from themselves. If the first method is the expressionof a more cosmic-soul element, then the second points to an earthly-willing type. (Strauss, 17)The intentional force establishes the connection of heaven and earth, for it is through thatalignment that we can create and transform, through experience, on this earth. It establishes our“standing” on the planet, as an agent of co-creation, along with all the responsibilities that entails.The paths of movement lead from inside outwards. To begin with they [the lines] radiate outfrom the centre as far as the periphery of the circle and remain with this boundary. …Threeessential principles of form, the circle, the square and the triangle, formally determine the mainstages of children’s creations. To start with, until the third year, the circle form is dominant; it isjoined and partly replaced by the square and the rectangle. The triangle does not appear untilabout the fifth year and then it substantially influences the form. (Strauss, 32-3)TreeIn the Mandala Process, the circle and square evolve to be the container of the form, just as in thechildren’s drawings. Another theme that emerges in Mandala Process is the representation of one’s ownform as a tree. The relationship of tree often appears first and then evolves into body. As a sentientbeing, we bridge heaven and earth through the central axis of our body. The tree is a natural symbol for45

this relationship because it appears to be similar in its relationship to heaven and earth. Its’ powercomes from rooting in the earth and reaching toward the sky.The motif ‘man’ appears to spread out and include the motifs ‘tree’ and ‘house’ but these are notan extension of the choice of these but only modifications of it. If we look back at historicalrecords we find, for instance in the Edda, the original picture of the tree. The World Ash Yggdrasilgrows out of the primeval cosmic forces. The first time the human being is represented inchildren’s drawing it bears the character of a tree, illustrating the children’s awareness of forcesworking in their own organism. The picture of the house includes the relationship to the worldabout them. In the course of the development of children the focus of their awareness of theforces working formatively within them shifts from one area to another. This produces differentformulations of the same theme.(Strauss, 37)The hands are the furthest outreach of the heart into the world. The heart-force builds itsconnection into the world through outreaching hands and touch. The center reaches for circumference.Now it no longer hovers in space, rotating cosmically but stands on the ground. Head, trunk andlimbs are now incorporated into the figure in a symbolic way….The ‘arms’ grow disproportionallylong and make contact with the world about them. They are formed like organs of perception,and their sphere extends a long way beyond the child’s own body. The hands, either flashing outrays or ending in whirls, still clearly show the great liveliness. (Strauss, 42)By the first seven years the will is coded into the body. As we unfold ourselves into form, we reach outto connect with life and make it ours.WillIf I have one memory of infancy, it is discovering my hands. The other is watching the lights circle aroundmy cradle. When my children were born, the light that was around their mother came into their bodies.I remember watching their infant bodies in the middle of the room. It was as if when I blinked andlooked again a new being was present in a slightly more developed body.A thrust of forces which are of a completely uncontrolled will-nature are built into the form withthe power of an eruption. This appears to come from outside the human form. This impulse isoften so strong that there is hardly room on the page any more for the drawing of the head andthe trunk. This intensity of will is the same force that was expressed in the black layer of the earlyscribble drawing or as the legs of the horse show us….In earliest childhood, whilst still in thecradle, children ‘discover’ their hands. Their hands are amongst their first plaything. Towards thefourth year they begin to draw hands. But it seems to be obvious from the pictures that theyhave no idea how many fingers a hand has. …As we saw, the first rough draft of the human form46

is brought to a conclusion by about the third year. The figure manifests out of a cosmicembryonic,hovering condition. The pillar-man arises. He stands on the earth. The working out ofthe form, the differentiation of the limbs, follows….The differentiation and structuring of thetrunk follows, and the arms and legs are attached last of all. We see the same order beingfollowed in the development of children’s bodies up until the first organic change; frombabyhood to the change of teeth they have, step by step, taken possession of their body. …Thechild’s consciousness now comes forth from out of a ‘dream-condition’ and in the course of itsdevelopment it turns actively towards the world outside. The development of the human imagein children’s drawing bears witness to these stages. A path is described to us, which passes froman unconscious sleeping awareness of formative forces to a waking grasp and initial reproducingof human beings and the world around them.(Strauss, 47-48)Will development occurs in the form created by an unfolding force out of center, and acomplementary force cradling from the periphery. We could say the Kadmon encoded into the form isthe will force for the incarnation that is purposefully motivating our soul into life. The archetypal soulinhabits the space containing the physical body as an etheric sheath, and as the central axial columnthrough the center of the body, from the top of the head through the space forward of the tailbone.The primal self is coded, and expresses as will, in the body. In the Mandala Process, we makeunconscious will conscious. It is intentionality that awakens through art-making as the evolutionary,transformational drive.HouseRudolf Steiner describes how, in our development after physical birth, we human beings gothrough further ‘births’: ‘Just as we are enclosed within the physical sheath of our mother up tothe time of our birth, we are enclosed in an etheric sheath up till the change of teeth, that is, tillabout the seventh year.’ In tree drawings not only the embryonic state of the body appears inpicture form but also the perception of this ‘etheric sheath’. (Strauss, 51)Like Adam and Eve of the garden, as we become more self conscious, we become aware of our spaceand the need for boundaries. Our “garden” becomes a house.Whatever it is, the combination of an abstractly drawn presentation with figure illustrationpoints to several realms working simultaneously in the child’s unconscious experience. In theirshape these houses still keep a part of their spherical roundness, which is based on theconstruction of the ‘bee-hive’, the classical archetypal house. Nevertheless a new process isstarting in that the children are beginning to sense and perceive the distance betweenthemselves and the surrounding world. ...This results in a house-form arising in which the squareor rectangle predominates. This house is like a box where the walls fit snugly round the figuresand there can be a really tight fit. The children move out of their cosmically rounded dwellinginto the earthly house of the cube. The narrowing down in the perception of the cosmic realms47

through the acquiring of selfhood—the process of becoming an ‘I’—resembles an encapsulatingof the soul. The house-form arising from this is based on the right angle. (Strauss, 52)With the building of an earthly house, we look outward for discovery. Our bodies are made to lookoutward and to discover. The soul space around our body is now held in the four walls of earth. Thesesame forms appear in the art-making sequences of the Mandala Process.FearWith the appearance of house, another archetypal imperative emerges. The direct perception of theinner worlds and their spiritual support is less evident. If there is violence, fear accelerates.The phenomenon of fear stands in direct connection with the shutting in of the individuality.Little children do not mind being left alone at night—but then, when they grow ‘older and moresensible’ they scream at night and call for their mother. They beg their parents to have to leavethe door open in the evening and the light on outside. Fear has its origin within the human being.The dog in the street or any other threat from outside does not primarily produce it. Fear occurswhen the unquestioned oneness with the world is lost, when children have moved step by stepinto the abode of their body and this becomes denser and denser. The process is like breathingin. We are in danger of suffocating, of getting cramp, if we do not have the chance to breatheout again.(Strauss, 57)Fear enters. Fear changes the archetypal experience. When the Mandala Process moves ourconsciousness, the unknown arises and with it the fear that was sublimated there in earlier experiences.As the outer drawing expresses, we move by means of awareness into previously veiled realms.Adventure or fear offers us a choice in our readiness to proceed. So, we proceed at a useful pace. Wemove from heaven (circle) into earth (square) as the context for our life. The unconscious at age sevenreflects back to us as form and we look outward for answers.In no other motif can one see the multiple experiences in the process of human incarnation soclearly as in the motif of the house. On the one hand the process of moving into the house leadsto becoming shut off. One is now completely dependent on oneself. On the other hand, when onehas take possession of the house, the door to the world opens from inside. By means of thesedrawings children show us a path that leads through heights and depths, joy and sorrow, goodfortune and bad. (Strauss, 58)With dependence on self, we experience the opportunity to feel alone and separate andcontract, or realize that we can move into life from our center. The choice is that of being by ourselvesand responsible, or alone and a victim as we formulate our movement into the world. For the48

esponsible one the journey is an adventure. To the victim one the journey is one of fear. Do we moveforward through relationship or conquest? Do we see life as a potential ally or an adversary?LimbsAs limbs develop, we can see the nature of the reaching out the extending out and engaging the world.As we reach out, are we body centered or sense centered? Our archetypal nature clearly shows in theway we draw the encoding process.ColorThe tree-man of the early stage had already acquired ‘feet’ too. They were added on when theform attained the upright position. These first feet arise out of an inner feeling for the newlyacquired position. The head-and- feet people are distinguished from the head-and-limb peopleby apparently being more aware of that which is connected with their own body. The ‘limbs’raying out from the head-and-limb person belong to a realm of the senses that registersperceptions outside the body. The ‘fringes of feeling’ must be thought of chiefly as organs oftaste and sight, getting to know the world by sniffing about and spying around. (Strauss, 60-61)Soul qualities appear as colors. This is consistent with the Mandala Process as we awaken to the forcesof our early childhood.They choose a colour according to its soul quality and in this way they find their own coloursymbolism. So they unconsciously put warm tones beside cold ones, happy ones opposite sadones, aggressive ones opposite passive ones. (Strauss 64)Blind people report a remarkable relationship to light and color that reminds me of my sensorydeprivation experience. In the physical world, we see color from reflected light. In the inner worlds,color and light radiate from within the form itself. Apparently, essence and form are seen together. Inthe physical world, we have to learn how to see the essence of a form. This is one reason we believe thephysical form provides the continuity of life rather than the essence.‘I found the light undiminished in myself. I did not have to remember what this light had been formy eyes to keep the memory of it alive. The light was there, in my spirit and in my body. It wasimprinted in them in its entirety. The light was there, accompanied by all the visible forms,colours and lines, possessed of the same strength that it has in the world of the eyes.I repeat: the experience vouchsafed to me was not memory. The light I continued to seewithout my eyes was the same as before. But my standpoint in relation to the light had changed.I had moved closer to its origin…when I was sad, when I was afraid, all shades became dark andall forms indistinct. When I was joyous and attentive, all pictures became light. Anger, remorse,49

plunged everything into darkness; a magnanimous resolution, a courageous decision radiated abeam of light. By and by I learnt to understand that love meant seeing and that hate wasblindness, was night…’ (Strauss, 65-66)We see in this statement that when fear possesses us, we contract the light. We can take fromthis that when we meet the outer reflection with fear, there is no complementary internal light fromwhich to make sense of our lives. In the Mandala Process, we reconnect with the complementaryresponse of our inner light that was in force during will development. We meet fear with heart, withcourage.Second BirthLife events begin to impact and process through drawing. Once we have our foundation, we can turn tobuilding new experience and meeting ourselves through the reflected external light of the world.On entering the second seven-year period the ability to reproduce as such what they sense intheir own life forces disappears. The first organic change as well as the change of teeth makes itclear to us that the processes that have been building up and refining the child’s organism so far,are now becoming free for other tasks. (Strauss, 84)We yield to the now unconscious imperative to go out from the “garden” and explore life in all itswonder and choice. Given that the archetypal will is healthy, we approach the consciousness-buildingnecessity of choice.The mysteries unravel and we begin to decipher the hieroglyphs. Children’s drawing makesvisible the path of incarnation….So the bridge cannot be found either in the physical orpsychological realm, but in a realm that belongs to neither of them; namely in the unconsciouslife processes that both day and night take their course on a sleeping level, in the actual realm ofphysiology…The reason why the bridge is so difficult to know about is because the stronger thelife processes are the more unconsciously they function.…The soul-spiritual nature of smallchildren is primarily engaged in the process of bodily incarnation. They build the bridges of lifebetween body and soul. In their diagrammatic pictures, that which is engaged in building thebody rises to the surface of visibility. They are, as it were, the sand washed up out of the ocean oforgan-formation, out of the subjectless and objectless ‘No-Man’s-Land’ of life processes. Weadults, who have finished growing and have replaced this activity with other activities, have toreorientate ourselves thoroughly, in order to have any understanding whatsoever of that whichonly intrigues us as yet. (Strauss, 84-86)We reconnect with this force by building another bridge from the unconscious to the physical. In this,the triangle makes its appearance as the “bridle,” the angulation (discussed more later) through which50

we resolve and transcend the duality of earthly life. These forces of separation and integration areintegral to our will.In his earliest pedagogical writings (1907) Rudolf Steiner explains that at the time of so-calledbirth only the physical, material body becomes separated from the mother. The mobile lifestructure of the child, however, passes through a further stage of embryonic development lastingfor many years. The development of the soul and the freeing of the spirit are further ‘births’ thatprolong human development to about twenty years, which is not the case with any of nature’sother creatures.(Strauss, 86)The nature of the Mandala Process makes this process conscious so that we can recapitulate thesequences and redesign the information and re-constellate our perception. Often other elements affectthese processes that distort the relationship so that the will is distorted and our ability to follow thegenerative currents is inhibited.If, during the course of its seven years, this second, more delicate pregnancy miscarries, it is acase of embryopathy of the etheric body as, for instance, in a specially crass form ofinstitutionalization. It is a severe retardation of development, which cannot be made up for later,despite good therapeutic physical care in crèches, homes and hospitals, if human unkindness like,say, a repeated change of foster mother prevents the child from forming a consistent soulattachment. Even though there is proper physical care, the lack of a mother or her equivalent,especially during the first three years, leads to severe damage of the life-bearing organization inthe child. …And this is just where one comes across the life process that both constructs thebodily organs and creates the pictures that we see. Both arise from the same process. We get toknow it. It all happens very quickly and the child loses interest as soon as it has done it. Afragment of anonymous force flows right through the child. (Strauss, 87)When forces of negativity impinge on the activity of the archetypal Kadmon as it sequences intothe body, will is distorted. The question becomes, can the Mandala Process transform this distortion?Or, does the Mandala Process allow us to effectively engage and resolve the karma? Karma is anotherway of looking at responsibility. When we choose or act, we get the results. When something happensto us, we are responsible to do something for ourselves to remedy the infliction.Rudolf Steiner summed up these latter sensations as the ‘sense of life’. Now, with little children,we can observe that there is something peculiar about their sense of life. They often cannotproperly localize bodily pain as yet. …When children reach school age the sense of lifereorientates itself; it looks inwards towards the child’s own body. This reversal is completed bypuberty. If we return as grown-ups to the place of our early childhood we are often surprised anddisappointed by its ordinary everydayness. After the sense of life has adjusted itself to the lifeprocesses within the body, then our surroundings become void of life. But the cause of this is notout there but in our altered sense-organism. (Strauss, 89)51

Third BirthWe become conscious of a deep internal will that, when distilled to its essence, says, “Be true toyourself above all and fulfill the deepest nature of your soul and, in this way, you will know all themysteries and understand the truth of life.” The doorway to all is through our selves. This can befrightening at first, so we try to live shallowly, drink a lot, take drugs (or medications), rationalize,become dogmatic, be religious, make wars, etc. While life seems to promote an imperative that we mustharden our sense of self into who we think we are, a deeper force inhabits this apparent reality. Thedeeper force is a coherent presence beyond name that says, “Life is made for you to fully know who andwhat you are, and to know that in the course of events you will take your place in the heart of eternity.”I say this as a testimony to our essence, and to the archetypal constituencies that form ourconsciousness, and through which we form new consciousness. As we consolidate ourselves into life, weare creating an amalgam self of outer world and inner world images. The inner drives us and the outerreflects us, at times, in the form of what others want or recommend for us. We eagerly engage in thecommerce of exporting our truth to the world, then responding and internalizing the outer response tous. Now, here we are, grabbing the symbols of our life, realigning and transforming our discoveries to becongruent with the soul. We do so through a format that we established in early childhood.Cosmic ConsciousnessThe art-making and creative activity of early childhood from birth to seven years old links the physicalbody with the archetypal realm, essentially embedding the physical body in the archetypal matrix, whichis, in its own way, an evolving field of wisdom, the implicate order, the morphic field that holds andunfolds the life will, the life intentionality. The information organized in the archetypal field ranges fromour genetics to the primal self as elements of will. This will is archetypal. Steiner pointed to the event ofour teeth changing as the transition from this cycle into self awareness. Each subsequent cycle will bringa greater incarnation and depth of our soul, walking on the planet as personality. The ultimate intent ofwill is to fulfill all life experience in the actualization of living love.The Mandala Process engages the body self/primal self link, and in so doing moves ourdevelopmental experience into cosmic awareness. By this I mean that the experience of the cosmic selfis an invitation into the next stage of development, which we will refer to here as cosmic consciousness.This term is similar to other references to states of consciousness, described in various cultures andcosmologies as enlightenment, Samadhi, nirvana, and self-realization, to name a few. From myperspective, cosmic consciousness is an experience of being awake on the archetypal level, as a maturepresence in one’s life. For the most part, the archetypal level is usually unconscious and at bestaccessible indirectly through dreams, symbols or ritual. So, we can say that cosmic consciousness is adevelopmental experience of one’s wholeness or kinship with all. Cosmic consciousness, then, unfoldsfrom the same ontological basis as the Mandala Process.Strauss’s study revealed the child’s incarnating, as demonstrated through drawing, and resultingin developing foundational will. It is interesting to me, at this point, to look at Richard Maurice Bucke’s52

theory of Cosmic Consciousness. Bucke explores cosmic consciousness as an evolutionary stage at thelevel of humanity, and developmentally at the level of the individual. In the Mandala Process, we engagethe archetypal will, which produces a way of perceiving that resembles cosmic consciousness. As anarchetypal consideration, cosmic consciousness is an expression of Kadmon.Strauss’s perspective arose from a context of Rudolf Steiner’s Anthroposophy. Steiner offers oneof the most profound models of human development. In each seven-year cycle, from birth to adult, theorganism develops the capacity for deeper levels of the soul to incarnate. In the first seven years, wehave focused on the archetypal soul. When the developing child is negatively impacted by inappropriatelearning, by insufficient love or nurture, or by suffering malnutrition, injury or disease, certain soulqualities cannot incarnate, or they express through a distortion or reversal. For Steiner, the archetypethat drives our evolutionary will is the Christ. In the context of this writing, we are referring to thisarchetype in terms of the cosmic person, Kadmon. In the ontology of various cultures, the evolution ofthe individual, the drive to live and fulfill, have their own cultural references for the archetype thatdrives primal evolution. Whether the Buddha, Christ, Parusha or Kadmon, they all drive what Jung calledindividuation. Development also recapitulates all the stages of life, from simple organism to complexhuman form. From the collective experience, we recapitulate each epoch of natural and human historyin our developmental experience.Each life contributes to the experience of the collective in such a way that when a greatconsciousness, such as Buddha, Jesus, Mohamed, or Mary live, the collective also evolves. As eachindividual incarnates, all that has gone before links to the organism. We can reflect at this point howStrauss traced this through the art-making of the child over the first seven years. I see this archetypalwill working through the individual as an unfolding consciousness, providing a conduit for the evendeeper essence of health. When the child draws, the cosmic elements entangle with the physical earthelements. Placing Bucke’s theory of cosmic consciousness within this scheme, we see a place forourselves. When we participate in the Mandala Process, we are asserting our evolution. In content, formand process, we activate the latent gene of the cosmic self archetype. The Mandala Process unfolds thisevolutionary step.Richard Maurice Bucke, M.D., was born in 1837 and was inspired by Walt Whitman.In 1867, Bucke heard the poetry of Walt Whitman for the first time and was greatly affected.Bucke’s first book, published in 1879, called “Man’s Moral Nature,” an examination of therelationship between man’s physical mind—the sympathetic nervous system—and his moralnature, was dedicated to Whitman. Cosmic Consciousness, first published in 1901 and praised byWilliam James and P.D. Ouspensky, has become a classic. Bucke died in an accident a year afterits publication. (Bucke, i)Bucke was a psychiatrist in a time that birthed the twentieth century and although he isconsidered to have been a visionary, he thought in the language of his time. He completed his studyciting all male examples of cosmic consciousness, though he also framed these individuals as being typeexamples of what the entire race would become. Space does not allow a complete review of Bucke’s53

work; however, it would be worth your time to read his text, Cosmic Consciousness. He elaborates indepth on Gautama, Jesus, Paul, Plotinus, Mohammed, Dante, Bartolome’ Las Casas, John Yepes, FrancesBacon, Jacob Behmen, William Blake, Honore’ de Balzac, Walt Whitman, and Edward Carpenter, anddiscusses thirty-six other individuals that he considered less powerful examples. Though there are noexamples of women, his was incredible work, describing characteristics and presenting anecdotalmaterial illustrating cosmic consciousness. We can apply his resource to the women of history andeasily round out his research. The point is that the Mandala Process is a means of bringing forward ourcosmic nature into the elements of our self-understanding and expression.As do all good heuristic researchers, Bucke distilled themes that appear in the life of cosmicallyconscious individuals. Following are some of the qualities that appear in the shift from self awareness tocosmic consciousness.The person, suddenly without warning, has a sense of being immersed in a flame, or rose-coloredcloud, or perhaps rather a sense that the mind is itself filled with such a cloud of haze. …At thesame instant he is, as it were, bathed in an emotion of joy, assurance, triumph, “salvation.” Thelast word is not strictly correct if taken in its ordinary sense, for the feeling, when fully developed,is not that a particular act of salvation is effected, but that no special “salvation” is needed, thescheme on which the world is built being itself sufficient. …Like a flash there is presented to hisconsciousness a clear conception (a vision) in outline of the meaning and drift of the universe. Hedoes not come to believe merely; but he sees and knows that the cosmos, which to the selfconscious mind seems made up of dead matter, is in fact far otherwise—is in very truth a livingpresence. …He sees that the life which is in man is eternal, as all life is eternal; that the soul ofman is as immortal as God is; that the universe is so built and ordered that without anyperadventure all things work together for the good of each and all; that the foundation principleof the world is what we call love, and that the happiness of every individual is in the long runabsolutely certain. The person who passes through this experience will learn in the few minutes,or even moments, of its continuance more than in months or years of study, and he will learnmuch that no study ever taught or can teach. Especially does he obtain such a conception of THEWHOLE, or at least of an immense WHOLE, as dwarfs all conception, imagination or speculationspringing from the belonging to ordinary self consciousness, such a conception as makes the oldattempts to mentally grasp the universe and its meaning petty and even ridiculous. …Along withmoral elevation and intellectual illumination comes what must be called, for want of a betterterm, a sense of immortality. This is not an intellectual conviction, such as comes with thesolution of a problem, nor is it an experience such as learning something unknown before. It isfar more simple and elementary, and could better be compared to that certainty of distinctindividuality, possessed by each one, which comes with and belongs to self consciousness. …Withillumination the fear of death which haunts so many men and women at times all their lives fallsoff like an old cloak—not, however, as a result of reasoning—it simply vanishes….The same maybe said of the sense of sin. It is not that the person escapes from sin; but he no longer sees thatthere is any sin in the world from which to escape. …The instantaneousness of the illumination isone of its most striking features. It can be compared with nothing so well as with a dazzling flash54

of lightning in a dark night, bringing the landscape which had been hidden into clear view.(Bucke, 72 - 75)55

Chapter FourENGAGING THE FIELDIn my approach to teaching, the ability to be aware of the movement ofenergy and information in our field of consciousness is essential. Byenergy I mean that there is a life field that surrounds andinterpenetrates our body, and that within that there are subsystemsthat form a subtle body to our physical body and a macro system thatforms a noetic connection with all the dimensions of consciousness.We are aware of this life field (chi, prana, Akasha, quantum coherency,implicate order, noetic field) through our senses , through ways weprocess information and feelings, and directly through knowing;however, we are usually conditioned or counseled to ignore theseprocesses, so we pay little attention to them. The first step in engagingthe field is to awaken and re-engage the gift of these subtle dimensionsof awareness, sensibility and wisdom. We feel this energy field asmovement and sensation. We can touch it, we can experience it moving through our bodies, and we cansense it in the space around us. We can see it as inner and psychic vision, or intuition and impressions.We can also see it through experience. As we refine our ability to sense, see, guide, and manifestenergy, we discover the contextual elements that establish physical and metaphysical workingenvironments. Within each context, we can explore the relationship through which we discover self,pursue transformation, and facilitate healing. These skills give us the ability to track the enfolding andunfolding of the holomovement, and the forms within that matrix that shape and conduct energy. Theseenergies interact with the electro-biological energy of our physical bodies. These systems interface andhave a relationship with archetypal systems. As we align these systems, channels open for the flow ofcreative and spiritual energy.The chakras are centers of power and consciousness that interface with organs and nerve plexusas their physical counterparts. They also interface with etheric counterparts that appear as geometricforms around the physical body. These fields are subject to our mental, emotional, and imaginal activity.The practices we will explore in this work enable us to have greater awareness of metaphysical changeand movement. As we explore the following practices, we gain the basic skills to assess change, openour awareness to the dimensional experience, and apply the power of limits in service totransformation. For an added dimension to the following exercises, make a drawing of your experienceafter each exercise.This writing, and the reading of it, is only one dimension of understanding. To fully appreciatethe journey though this material, I suggest that you purchase a large 24” X 18” pad of paper and anample set of oil pastels. You can use water color, pastels or any other material you like; I recommend oilpastels because they are convenient, easily managed basic supplies. I use this size paper because it is thelargest size that is still practical to carry around. I suggest the large paper because it encourages us to56

work bigger, which is conducive to the depth of the work. There will be many suggested processes anddrawing opportunities throughout the reading. Each one is developmentally placed so that you canevolve in your understanding. This is a journey that you can take singularly or with a group. As the textevolved from the Archetypal Psychology course taught at Southwestern College in Santa Fe, NewMexico, one of the best ways of engaging in the work is to enroll in that course.ActivationThe following exercises are intended to activate and strengthen our faculties of connection andawareness to our non-physical sensory reality. As we practice, we further develop our ability to directlyexperience subtle and abstract realities. Through our attentiveness, the spiritual world will increasinglybecome visible, concrete and practical. By engaging our whole ability to be aware, we can experiencearchetypal and spiritual realities directly and, by so doing, we can practice a form of scientificexploration. We can test the effect of our actions by assessing awareness before and after interventions,and by tracking structural and psychological patterns.Eye HandEarlier, we explored the bilateral symmetry of our physical bodies. This forms a polarity which, whenengaged, generates an energy field that can be used to charge up the aura, or morphic field. When thefield is charged, the functions and elements of the field work better and there is more clarity.1. Look at the palms of your hands as if you were holding a book a foot-and-a-half fromyour face.2. Allow your arms and hands to relax, while maintaining their relationship to your eyes.3. After a while, turn your hands so that they face each other. You may begin to feelsomething between your hands.4. Move your hands back and forth. It may feel like a spongy ball. You may feel heat, or anattraction.5. Push your hands together until your palms touch. As you rub your hands together youmay hear a silky sound.Looking at your hands builds energy. Exploring the sensations of the field between your handsactivates your awareness. Rubbing your hands together changes your energy field. You can repeat thisexercise several times for stronger results. In this exercise, the body and your hands form the context.The posture orients you with your center to form a relationship that generates energy. The energygeneration occurs because of the natural relationship between your physical form and the archetypalfield in which it is embedded. In a sense, the reductive focus and postures unfold, or move, the energy,or chi, from the implicate field into the magnetic field of the body, expanding into the aura.57

RainbowThis exercise is the same as the Eye Hand, with the addition of visualizing colors. Thevisualization connects us with the universal field. We use the visualization of colors often in laterexercises. Each color is a creative force in the universe, governed by a “conscious being” with which wecan converse (see Chohans of the Color Rays, by John-Roger). In the context of this writing, you canconsider the Chohans, as a name for the “conscious being,” as an archetype. The purpose of thisexercise is to balance your energy and strengthen your understanding of energy. Do the entire sequenceof the Eye Hand exercise with each color.1. While looking at your hands, and facing your hands toward each other, visualize red andask to be conscious and aware of the being (Chohan) of red. You can form a dialogue andask how red functions in the universe. Red is an energizing, generative color.2. Visualize orange. Orange is energizing, supportive, and sustaining.3. Visualize yellow. Yellow is mental energy and calms the mind.4. Visualize green. Green is healing.5. Visualize sky blue. Blue is the energy of chi and elevates the consciousness.6. Indigo. Indigo sensitizes the psychic force-field.7. Purple. Purple energizes our soul relationship. You can add other colors to this.I often add silver, gold, white, turquoise and colorless, or clear. Silver is clearing and purifyingand strengthens the subtle bodies; gold also clears and is the color of love and mercy; white is the actionof the wholeness; turquoise is renewal (“a new day and a new dawn”). Pure spirit is colorless; clear isthe formless, un-manifest reality of source.Ra HuAs corollary of the Rainbow exercise, I sometimes introduce the “Ra” and “Hu” chants as a means ofactivating and teaching the power of sound and energy. Again, these are archetypal sounds thatfunction as a creative, spiritual focus deep within the fabric of the spiritual realms.While doing the Rainbow Hand Eye exercise, chant “Ra” three times, while visualizingorange. “Raaaaaaaaaa......” This will build energy and introduce you to the effects of Ra.While doing the Rainbow Hand Eye exercise chant “Hu” three times, while visualizingpurple. “Huuuuuuuuuu....” This will build transcendental energy and introduce you tothe effects of Hu.58

Circle EnergyThis is similar to the previous exercises except that it is done with a group. The purpose is to explore thepower of the group as a conduit and generator of energy.Pushing Space1. Form a circle with your group, holding your left hand palms up and parallel to the floorat your sides.2. Hold your right hand, palm down, over the left hand of the person next to you. Handsare not touching. (This can be done with only two people by standing facing each otherwith hands in front of you at about waist level with your left hand turned palm-up andyour right hand palm-down over your partner’s left hand.)3. At an even pace, the group visualizes each color, with an optional chanting of “Ra” atorange and “Hu” at purple.The universe meets us at our focus and responds to us with that to which we pay attention. In thisexercise we will explore the nature of energy, substance and space. This exercise is for two or morepeople.1. Sitting opposite, notice the air between you and how we take for granted that there is nothingin this space.2. Face the palms of your hands toward each other, moving them back and forth, noticing themovement through space.3. Consider that when we are dreaming, reality is solid to our dream body. Attune to the realitythat the air around you is solid.4. Move your hands toward each other. Notice subtle changes. Perhaps the shift is not so subtle.5. Repeat the exercise with one person, or group, being passive and the other active. One grouppushes space and the other experiences the effect of that.In Qigong (ch'i kung) we attune our consciousness to the blue space around us, collecting chithrough our movements. Also, consider that thought impacts the space around us. Other people’sthoughts impact you, as your thoughts may impact others, especially if you place emotional force orintent with the thought. What is good thought ecology for the space around us? Focusing with greatersubtlety, we discover that heaven is at hand. As we focus on the field, our reductive focus carries us tonoesis.59

Alignment NexusBasic to our inner awakening and perceptual acuity is our ability to activate our center, calling forwardour holiness, and aligning with higher consciousness. Each of the following steps adds to the previousone. Rather than doing one, dropping it and doing another, it is an additive sequence. Consider, whileyou prepare to do this process, that this is an archetypal form that is universal in human consciousness,so all peoples, in all places, in all times will have elements of this awareness in their cosmology.Continuation1. See your body in the center of a sphere of light. This is your space. Call your wholenessforward to fill your space.2. Place your attention in the center of your head. This is a reductive focus in which you setaside all expectations and thoughts.3. Hold your attention for at least three breaths.4. Place your attention in your heart for three breaths.5. Bring your attention up through the center of your head and pause for three breaths ata point at the top of your head.6. Extend your focus to the transpersonal point, which is onehand’s length above your head. Hold for three breaths.7. Bring your focus back down through the centers to yoursolar plexus, holding for three breaths. Bring loving intothat area.8. Continue back through the centers to your transpersonalpoint, pausing again for three breaths.9. Look up at the star, or point of light that is at the top ofyour sphere; extend your focus to that point and engagethe energy that is there.10. Invite universal wholeness (holiness) to fill your space. (An option is to journey throughthe stars and, after awhile, bring the universal holiness into your space.)11. Relax and sustain your awareness, moving with any changes.In the remainder of this writing, we will explore ways to unpack the transformational wisdom implicit inthe process of making art. I see this, essentially, as a teaching/learning process that has applications inpersonal transformation, leadership and the development of individuals as professional counselors.Teachers are always in a reflexive relationship to their students. That is, they are both in atransformational dance with each other. The student and the teacher are co-creators of the learningprocess. A change in one is reflected as a change in the other. It is a circle, a mandala. In this sense theteacher is a transformative agent, introducing students to what they already know inwardly. In theancient way, to educate was to draw out from within. An essential feature of the journey, then, must be60

to understand and practice formulating learning systems in which the teacher is participating in a sharedpresence with the students.The Mandala of the Soul reflects the idea that we are motivated by a force that is essentially ouressence, activated to fulfill its deepest nature. Our lives are a conscious reflector of the unconsciousdrive. As we pursue the Mandala of the Soul, the beliefs, constructions and entities that are adversarialto the actualization of these principles of the soul are pushed to the surface and, in the light of day,resolved or transformed. As well, the unconscious material that is congruent with this actualization isalso pushed to the surface, to be integrated, aligned and made coherent with the soul’s purpose. Forthis we live. In the Mandala Process, we use art-making to accomplish this purpose.Facilitation GuidelinesReflect again on The Studio and the implications for the cohort working within that space. When I teachthe Mandala Process to counseling students, I engage them in a group process that mirrors life. Eachindividual in the cohort is mirrored by each of the other participants. The cohort is a living archetype,reflecting a mosaic of each person’s expression. We work within this archetype to explore thearchetypes. Each individual perspective in the class reflects an aspect of ourselves that we need to see.Sometimes these are qualities of injuries that we need to heal or resolve. They can also be wonderfulqualities that we have suppressed or denied for some reason, through shame, blame or guilt. When youlook around the group, you are looking at yourself.We work together in large groups, in which I model the facilitation that I teach. We also work insmall groups of two or three. In the small groups, the student is able to practice facilitating. Thefollowing guidelines provide a format for the facilitative relationship. A powerful dimension of theMandala Process is working with each other by being present and giving facilitative feedback. Theseguidelines are intended to provide perspective to the facilitative relationship. I suggest you use themcreatively. They are designed for participants to mirror to each other and to draw out perspectives thatmay be obscure. Please do not use them in a rigid way.Be creative and loving.Avoid interpretive statements. For example, instead of saying, “This color or symbol means x,”or, “You are like y,” phrase your statement as a question. You may have a hunch or intuition ormay see something; state what you see or sense as a simple description. Avoid extrapolation orinterpretation. Let the client decide.When exploring images, watch any movement or change in the energy field, body language, orvoice texture that is apparent to you, in whatever way you make sense of the indicator. Images,no matter how wonderful they may seem to you, or to the other, may not be what they seem.Images may have qualities that can be described as decoys, imposters, glamour, reactions,transitional, power or action points. Decoys will point to the real deal, so check out thegeography. Decoys function as protection, like other strategic distractions. Imposters andglamour may seem charged at first, but will shortly go flat or be flat in the first place. Reactions61

are images that are protecting a psychologically sensitive area. Transitional images serve tobridge the client from one realization to a more substantial one. They will be powerful in onesession and produce another image in a sequential drawing. Images that are congruent anddeliver an expansion or lifting of energy (however you sense that or see that in the other) arepower images. Action images are where congruent, relevant movement occurs in the unfoldingof dynamic and transformative expressions. They are true and congruent for the person. Youcan also gauge responses to questions or statements that the person makes using the sameindicators. Sometimes images are flat because of their relationship to other images, so checkthat possibility. Another possibility is what I call implants (for lack of a better term). Theseimages are thought forms (beliefs) that are inflicted intentionally through some form of trauma.When exploration brings these images to light, the therapeutic witness will likely resolve theissue, which will be reflected in the next drawing.Avoid having an agenda for the other in any way. Always consider the other as a mirror tounresolved issues within yourself. This is a kind and loving reflection, not judgmental. Sharingyour own similar experience can be relevant; however, avoid drawing attention away from theother and to yourself, especially in a group setting. Any self-work you do while in a session is tobe done silently, while you are holding attention for the other.Avoid tangential conversation, by you or the other, that takes away from the focus on theexploration at hand.In whatever way you are aware of the field of the client, be watchful for indicators. You aretracking the other’s intentional relationship to the image or issue. When congruence occurs,transformation happens.As appropriate, ask the other what they are experiencing. This will help you and the client totrack, by providing indicators of state of being, movement or change.Always listen to yourself when you speak.Maintain witnessing at all times.When everyone in your group finishes, and debriefing is complete, share with each partner onething that they said or did that was helpful to you and one thing they said or did that wasunhelpful.AestheticsSymbolic drawings reflect the internal structure of the artist. In the Mandala Process our goal is tocreate the configuration that has the most empowerment and congruency. When our intention is totrack and reveal our power and transform limitation, clues to that end are embedded in the drawing. Asan aid for detecting these clues, I developed an aesthetic guide. While this may be similar to materialpresented above, we will review it again from a slightly different perspective.According to this model, there are three types of images in the picture: action, reaction, anddecoy. Actions are images of true energy that are congruent with the deeper intentionality andcharacter. Reactions are images that are protecting a psychologically sensitive area. Decoy images are62

also protective. These images strive to point us away from power. Interestingly, both decoy and reactionimages point to the action images. Often the glamorous image is a decoy. Actions can be concealed in aline or a color. Often our assessment will be an intuitive one. Insight can be aided by hand-scanning. Todo hand-scanning, pass the palm of your open hand over the drawing at various levels. As you have nowawakened the natural sensitivity in your hands, scanning can give you important information. So, we askthe question: is this image or configuration empowering, decoying, or protecting? Our prejudice andbiases about what we believe or would like our mandala to look like are often exposed in this process.FunctionAs a variation on the aesthetic techniques, function is a fluid way to work with favorite symbols. Atvarious times, we are attracted to given symbols. When making a character or destiny mandala, we needa way to test each symbol. The test is also a transformational process. As we view each symbol, we aresensitive to its congruence. When we speak about a symbol of image and a greater sense of energy orresonance builds as we talk, that reflects congruence. A experience that a greater “affect” or “sense” ofenergy is present when we talk about a symbol that is congruent. To this, we add the element of askingthe question: Is this symbol core, transitional or decoy? Core resonates with truth, center, and soul.Transitional serves as a means to move from one consciousness to the next. Decoy protects by divertingattention away from the vulnerable area.As the result of a class process, a student shared her experience. A symbol she had used foryears came from the negative space made by two branches. The branches made a shape much like themiddle section of the Vesica Pisces. The shape evolved into a seed with a tree spouting from it. Iobserved that her tree sprouted from nothing. When she reflected back to the source of her tree, sheconnected with the nothing and experienced a strong aligning center in response. When we apply thetest in each case, what begins as a core symbol, becomes transitional, then a decoy, and then goes backto core.In another case, the symbol was a crystal ball. The student thought it was a core symbol.Feedback in her group said it was a decoy. This began an inquiry. As she reflected, she realized thepower and dominance of occult powers that were part of the symbol. It was pointed out that when wehold up a crystal ball, we cannot see through it; we see into it. Decoys point to what they are decoyingfrom. She originally thought the ball was a core symbol representing clarity and vision. In the discussion,the symbol started as core, became decoy, and then transitional. She discovered that she was afraid ofthe potential power of her spiritual center. As she spoke that, she experienced an alignment in hercenter.Favorite ImagesWe all have pictures, statues, or artifacts that we use to decorate our homes. We have favorite designsand styles of images that appeal to us. For example, I have been drawn to eagles, elephants, trees andmountains. These are power symbols. Less apparent symbols are clothing styles, hats, and uniforms. The63

point is that a rich source of images that may be important in our mandala formation can be found inour homes, scrapbooks, journals, and collections. The same may be true of recurrent dream images, orimages that appear in meditation. The method is to collect these images, draw them, play with them inrelation to each other, and see if any of them have a place in your mandala.Energy FieldNow that we have some sense of self as energy field and cosmic archetype, we can explore further theeffect of symbolic relationships, as they exist within our definitional meaning structure, and ourexperience of self.Elaborating on the hand-scan discussion, every symbol and object has an energy field that wecan detect with our hands. Some people are able to see these fields directly. We can all feel them.Sensing the field of an image reveals deeper dimensions of its nature. An image may at first appear flaton the paper; however, when we explore the energy field, we find that contours arise from the paper tomake a three-dimensional relief. Some combinations enhance the gestalt of a group of symbols, andother arrangements null the field. There is a wonderful exercise to explore this premise. In the artmakingthat follows, practice the hand-scan approach to accessing the dimensional field of the images,symbols and relationships and their meaning.DialogueWe are accustomed to regarding symbols as representing something else. In a sense they do; however,they have a resonant relationship with the entity they reflect, and that enlivens them harmonically. It issimilar to striking a key on a piano and watching the same key in another octave vibrate with it.Symbols have an elemental consciousness as well. By regarding them at face value as beingwhat they are and dialoguing with them, we can gain important or helpful insights. Perhaps we draw apicture of a cow. Consider the nature of the cow. Ask it how it is doing and what its plans are. It mightsay, “Well, it’s a bit cold and dangerous here. I am headed for that barn to gain shelter and safety.”CongruenceWhen thinking, feeling and action are congruent, a definite power or energy becomes apparent, orunfolds from the implicate to the explicate realities, and from the psyche/spiritual into the physicalworld. With congruence, there is agreement between the conscious, basic, and high selves. When amandala is congruent, we can feel the energy. It is the truth. There is a resonance. When an individualarticulates the meaning of his/her mandala and the mandala is congruent, we feel it and see it in theperson’s expression. Awareness of this phenomenon provides a simple tool for developing a powerfulmandala.At each stage, we can share with each other and get feedback on what is alive and what is not.64

When the mandalas are part of a group experience, periodic sharing facilitates the process. In this way,group members can give feedback on their experience of congruence, and use ownership language.When the person and the drawing s/he is sharing are congruent, the group will feel a discernableenergy. The practice of sharing while being witness is a powerful component.Jung Mandala PremisesOver many years of working with Jung’s use of mandalas in therapy, I derived a set of universal premisesas guidelines. By applying the universal elements of his procedure, we can journey into our ownindividual life streams of personal transformation and individuation. Three types of forces seem tointeract in Jung’s mandala practice. These influencing forces can be designated according to theirfunction as process, content, context, dialogue and individuation. Together, they comprise atransformational protocol.Process: The source of transformation is the “transcendent self.” There is an inherent healing orcorrective force within each person. This healing force responds to the mandala as a metaphoricreflection of the internal state of the individual. When life no longer reflects a metaphor of health, theindividual will create mandalas as a way of inwardly engaging the self-healing forces.Content: The content of the mandalas reflects the levels of meaning within the psyche. The“intentionality” of the soul can be seen as it is reflected in the mandala. Denial of one’s spirituality,virtue, or responsibility for choice and creative consequences reflects as the active subliminal force thatJung called our “shadow.” Denial in this sense can be seen as a “bartering” for power at the expense ofsoul empowerment.Context: The preparation of the place in which mandala making is done has a significant impacton the mandala experience. Contextual forces can result from a variety of natural and human sources.Examples of these forces are lighting, sound, time of day, season, temperature, quality of the air, paper,media, psychic climate, etc. Heritage, culture, and socio-economic forces--both current anddevelopmental – also influence, to differing degrees, the context in which the mandala experienceemerges.Dialogue: Jung developed a dialogue between essence (noesis) and form (noema). Through this,we embark on a guided journey through the unconscious to our center, into the presence of ourholiness, as it manifests in us and around us.Individuation: Through dialogue, we unfold again the coded mystery of purpose, prosperity, andfulfillment. Hermes taught that our soul archetypes guide the course of our lives, and that the metaphorof our living reflects our state of health and illumination. The Navajo make mandalas to facilitatehealing. Tibetan Buddhists make mandalas for spiritual focus, in addition to tankas, or picture stories, oftheir journey through life. Other tankas are picture stories that guide the meditator into the BuddhaRealm. In Christianity, icons, retabloes, and Stations of the Cross are examples of art forms that providean archetypal focus as a doorway into the Divine. The example of Hildegard of Bingen is a symbolicrevelation in its most profound expression. Hildegard was a medieval mystic who started her ownconvent when women were not readily given prominence I the Catholic Church. She had inner symbolic65

visions that came to her as complete cosmologies. She channeled teachings were based on her visionaryexperience. These were divine visitations. She was at home in the archetypal world as a source ofteaching and wisdom for living a spiritual life on earth. We make art as a means of journeying intospiritual realms, focusing into our transcendence, and engaging the divine fabric within our ownconstitution, as well as making friends with the universe in which we live. Jung called deep revelationindividuation.Context for the WorkWe are the emissary of eternity. Through every cell of body, earth and sky, each breath carries theencrypted instructions of all our choices. We are intrinsic to the conversation of life. We speak themoment and life speaks back, through the very unfolding process of our soul approaching us from thehorizon. Facts masquerade as truth to make conscious our unseen self. The thing is passing in theseevents, the implicit symbol or the symbolizing we construct is what we need to follow if we want toknow how we create life. Making art reflects and reveals symbolically the information that makes anddissolves the formations of our life.We believe we live the life we find. From the greater self in the realm of archetypalcollaboration, we renovate the past and the future to make present the life we find. The life we find isthe life we gave, give and will give. In the mobility of our soul we use events to transport ourselves fromone reality to the next. We are given to the study of our implicit transformative drive in the making ofart. We extrapolate the moment into past and future to gain perspective, and then believe this is thenature of cause. Cause is implicit, unfolding from the ever-moving matrix of life. The archetype is a fluidinstantaneous calculation that presents our choice back to us in complete and universal terms. This isthe mirror of life.We are the truth. Our center is always present. Our sense of self is in whom we believeourselves to be. Do we decide from the mirror or from our soul? Reality is our selection within thecontext of reality that is. To comprehend our immensity and true responsibility, we need a way to reachinto the unseen and take hold of events in the realm of cause. We need to access our capacity totransform reality through re-informing. This talent exists in our capacity to make symbols and trackourselves metaphorically. The aborigines of Australia call this the dream time. In our context, how dowe access the “dream time?”Of all the things we have discussed to this point, I want to reemphasize the most importantpoint. Whether with yourself, with a partner in art, or in a group or classroom setting, the coherency ofthe contextual field is essential. Earlier, I spoke of the quantum coherency. This is a term that describesthe unifying consciousness that enables the drama of life to exist within a whole. It is a scientific termtaken from quantum physics. The way singular events appear, whether seemingly at war or peace, acoherency exists that always accounts for the highest good of the continuity of the whole. A groupprocess begins as a microcosm of this process and at some point reaches the coherency to merge intothe field of all that is. The nature of this energy is what I call living love. I discovered rather thaninvented this term. By living, I mean that everything is alive and is coherent at its own level of66

intelligence. All is a living entity that exists in a state of knowing, and we are able to participate in itsconsciousness directly through the expansion of our self awareness. If it appears as a representation, itis because we need it to be that way in order to have a conversation. As the group coherency develops,the experience of it evolves from each individual representing a personalized version of the All.As the cohort builds rapport the sacred space of The Studio unfolds. Out of our relationship, weconstruct this sacred space. The space amplifies the possibilities for the Mandala Process, out of whichevolves the Mandala of the Soul. Developing the Mandala of the Soul is the intent that forms thereality in which the process unfolds. We enter The Studio gradually, with great care and love. Everyoneis new to each other. Be truthful and respectful of each person. As a participant, or facilitator, doingyour part is being present as your Self. I practice listening to myself, and watching the field of classroomenergy, as if each cell of my body were an eye. I have learned to speak without cutting. As I am present, Iam able to observe the levels of each person’s agenda, from soul to ego. This does not occur in anobjective way, so I cannot grab and maneuver anyone else’s psyche. Love is unconditional. That meanseveryone is proceeding in the best way, as they should. There is no fixing; however, from the beginning,we are all there to align and integrate more precisely with our life path and true self—the deepestagenda. We are in service to this. Observing and seeing each person from the full presence of self beginsthe process of engaging the cohering intelligence of the group field.I proceed - we proceed - without hurry, one step at a time. We are simply present. We have noneeds or places to go because we are fullness itself. We breathe eternity while regarding, with all love,everything that is finitely around us. When I speak with one person, I am speaking with every person,yet the one I am talking to experiences my full respect and attention. I am serving the oversoul of thegroup. This means that I consume myself in the higher consciousness that formulates by our beingtogether. We move gracefully into one accord. With the introduction of each concept, with eachexercise, with each process, with each sharing, coherency increases and loving permeates ourrelationships. This requires that our basic self knows the experience of unconditional love, of a spiritfilledgroup, and of trust in the feeling of the energetic of the whole and a physical understanding. This iswhere we begin. This is where we each begin because we are each serving the oversoul.If you are a facilitator of this process, your best results will come from the way you spend timewith yourself and how you are present with others. Significant meditation will build energy on yourconnectedness. Being secure in your heart, listening to yourself when you speak - for the nuances ofhow life speaks through you - and a genuine respect and interest in your student, will all enhance howlife flows through The Studio. Any place you hide or protect in yourself, you will teach the student howto protect and hide. Your militant participation in your own transformation is essential. Become large!In the following, we will build the elements of the Mandala Process. Finally, we will bring thisjourney to bear on the final mandala, or mandalas, that reflect the coherency of self as having its ownplace in the whole.67

Chapter FiveSPIRITUAL PHYSICSPerception is the holograph of reality. Our awareness of the physical world is a reality set. By set, I meanthat what we see is selected by our evolution and what we believe is real or actually there. Usually this isan unconscious process. As we practice and develop, we can select a reality that we want to participatein. For example, meditation selects that which we focus on. When we watch a movie, we enter thevirtual reality set of that film. When we are present and in our unconditioned awareness of essence, orbeing nothing, we often have the experience of the unseen becoming seen, either visually, as innerseeing, or as awareness. Perception, then, selects what we experience as real. The holographic universeresponds to our selection. The holography of our selection unfolds in the relationship of our center tothe circumference or horizon of our perception. We experience this as a spherical reflection of life backto us. We position our sense of selfin our central axis and place ourcomprehension of realty in aspherical constellation revolvingaround that axis. We experienceourselves as our physical body inthe center of a vista that extendsout to the horizon. As a truemicrocosm of the Cosmic Being, allthat we are organizes our realitywithin our sphere of influence. Themacrocosm mediates our realitywithin the whole of creation.Perception is a reflexivedialogue that fills our space withmeaning. Generally, we adjust ourtendency to expand and limit whatwe see and experience to theparameters of what we believe.We shape our reality by imprintingour limiting beliefs on theexpansive holograph of life. We livein the tension of what is and whatwe think should be. According tothis reckoning, we unfold our outerreality from our inner reality. In thisway, the outer reality reflects back68

to us our inner reality. When we encounter an outer event, we reflect inside to see if we can engage theinternal representation of this outer event. Conventional wisdom has it that the external event is morereal than its internal complement. When push comes to shove, when contradictions to our beliefs arisefrom our environment (social or physical), we will choose our beliefs. For all practical purposes, wemediate our reality in each moment, based on the synergetic relationship of our internal and externalreality. Who we are is evolving based on light-speed computations of this bio-spiritual consciousness.Ultimately, we know ourselves in the location where our personal sphere intersects the universalsphere. At that point we say, “I and all are one.” We organize each level of our internal reality accordingto the same geometric physics as we do our external reality.We are living energy. The structure of self is a nested set of holographic organizations that areultimately nested in the whole, or all. The whole is guided by the movement of the whole and theappearance of any one situation is the result of the dynamic enfolding and unfolding of the variousdimensions of the whole. To know this, we must awaken to our nature as a spiritual entity and activateour awareness so that we can sense the movement and activity of the subtle dimensions andfrequencies of life. We can wait for our scientists to evolve their understanding of physics so that we canhave an understanding of our wholeness, or we can act now and develop ourselves as a reliablemeasure of reality.In our internal reality, wereflexively encode experience asholographic sets of interpretations. Weplace these sets appropriately in ourspace, based on meaning and function.When the meaning is congruent with ouressence, the dynamic action of our soul isamplified into our perceptual field andappears as an internal and externalcounterpart. When the meaning distorts,it is incongruent with our soul nature. Inthis separation, we may feel intoxicationor fear. As such, when we encodeincongruence in our field, we producedistortion and imbalance. We arrangethese distortions according to theirmeaning and function in appropriatepositions in the holographic space of thecenterline to the horizon. The distortionsare incongruent with our soul; however,they are congruent with the actualizingimperatives of our soul, such as beingresponsible for resolving our owncreations or karma. Our actualization is69

the holographic structure of reality. We create forms (thought or physical) in pursuit of resolution,realization and actualization of self. We share this purpose with the universe.When we make art, we externalize our internal landscape. We out-picture our inner self. Weorganize the symbols (inform the matrix) in terms of the same holographic coordinates of the center lineand horizon. This is less apparent in random drawings than it is in a mandala. In the formation ofmandalas the center to circumference cartography is evident. Clearly, this is a symbolic representationbecause it is a two-dimensional rendition of a multidimensional holograph. The making of a mandala is atransformational process. The objectified drawing responds reflexively with the internal configuration ofmeaning. As we participate, we also observe from our central self, and transformation occurs. Artmakingacts reflexively with the soul as a healing force. The serial rendition of mandalas is an actualizingdialogue with self. Through drawing, we symbolically rearrange meaning from a distorted set to acongruent set, and by so doing, experience realization or actualization. We are the remedy of our ownmisunderstanding.The following two sets of drawings demonstrate the Mandala Process in action astransformation. In the next drawing, the foreground image is blocking the way to higher consciousness,symbolized as a mountain. A radiant light surrounds the mountain, symbolizing that the mountain isassociated with spiritual power or enlightenment. Discussion revealed a sense of psychic obstructionthat felt as if it was inherited. When we speculated that it could be an ancient family curse, the studentfelt a release within her. Apparently this was a sufficient shift. From a genetic viewpoint, we can viewthis as an expression of family shadow. Emotional and psychic content moves as symbolic informationfrom one generation to the next as influential elements of the morphic field. Sheldrick’s theory accountsfor this by positing that the morphic field of our genetic expression is influenced by how and what isencoded in the field. In the Jungian sense, we encounter our shadow as an internal disturbance and inexternal circumstances. Often, the shadow is a reversal of traits, talents, strengths and virtues that weinternally have denied or blocked in some way, for whatever reason. A family culture of shame, forexample, can function as such a block and cause the virtue love to express as its opposite. The oppositeof love can range from controlling love to hate. Fear is often the tipping ingredient. So, in this case, theart-making process brought awareness to the distortion. Reflection and expressing through a successivedrawing is often sufficient for transformation. The picture makes the information conscious as symbol.That is sufficient to identify the pattern and bring our witness into play. In the picture, the distortionappears to be penetrating the pineal center of the head. This gland relates specifically to one’s spiritualconnection to higher consciousness. In her next drawing, the contrast is powerful and evident. Thespiritual center appears fully activated at a deep level, illuminating the aura and expressing a connectionto the primal sound as in the phrase DA.70

In the next drawing, the superstitious spider took the center as a protective response to greatdanger, creating a mild distortion. Focusing into this area brings an awareness of fear. Alignment andconnection to higher resources is difficult. The spider stands in for higher power. The spider has aprotective and vigilant affect. The fear kept the student from fully centering into her sense of self as71

truth and goodness. In place of a strongly placed center, the spider holds the center. The good news isthat spider protects. The bad news is that it displaced her central alignment, which is the universalsource of power, strength and courage. In this case, discussion and reflection on the image wassufficient to express the change in the following drawing. Making the pattern conscious opened the way.In the love of self-reflection, she found her supportive place. Choosing self, the mandala reflects theempowered realignment. Her strengths and virtue appear confidently embedded in a central column oflight that is grounding and transcendent.Noetic TransformationI am calling this process noetic transformation because I approach myself in this series with the intentionto discover symbolic information that is held by beliefs and judgments in my unconscious mind. Thepersonal unconscious appears as an energy field that surrounds and interpenetrates the physical body.From the perspective of quantum physics, this field is a quantum coherency set configured to mypersonal unconscious. Said another way, it is the morphic field of my personal unconscious. Symbols inour art do more than passively represent our unconscious beliefs. The symbols and images actually linkwith the information as it is coded in our consciousness. We can work directly with the issue by workingwith the symbol that accesses the issue. As our consciousness looks at itself in the mirror of the drawinga connection occurs. Referencing back to Jung’s mandala practice, this process works for the samereasons.Making art with the intention of experiencing ourselves as energy, and gaining skill in the use ofimages and symbols as a way to transform consciousness, changes us. Art will carry us into a familiaritywith our dimensional nature and reveal the geometry of our organized meaning. It enables us to have ahands-on experience of the reflexive relationship between life as a mirror and the internal realities oflife as source. As you experience the following process you will have an opportunity to begin tounderstand how art-making provides a vehicle through which we can learn to swim in the quantum seaof our own consciousness. Through the process of quantum art, we will develop some of theunderstanding and skills we need for the Mandala Process.First, assemble your materials: a sheet of 16" x 24" blank paper, a sheet of 4" x 8" blank paper,around 24 smaller pieces of paper 3" x 3" works well (perhaps a few extra, just in case), and anadequate set of colored oil pastels. We are going to learn about energy, consciousness, and the waysymbols program our reality through art-making.Step OneBefore you begin to draw, consider that as you breathe you are circulating a column of light through acentral channel that passes through the ventricle axis of your body. Let your imagination build yourawareness into this image as you begin to feel the subtle reality of this activity. This is the center of yourbody, of your space, and the subtle body that is your unconscious mind. As you expand your awarenessout around your body explore the changes in feeling and sensation. You are waking into the morphic72

field of your unconscious mind. Your beliefs exist as things in the spacearound your body and through your body. Feel the gentle circulation ofyour consciousness. Follow the prompting and, using the largest sheetof paper, begin to draw your space as energy. Your drawing is arepresentation of your perceptive field. (As an added exercise, referback to the Color Breathing exercise and repeat it here before drawing.)The drawings shown here are the ones that I made when I didthis process. As I filled in the lines and colors, I felt a growingexcitement and deeper connection with my center, and fullness in myspace. Finally, at some point, I felt I was connected with the dynamicmovement of this field of consciousness.Now, draw an image of your physical body on the 4" x 8" pieceof paper and place it in the center of the larger paper. Take a deep breath and relax. Explore yourreflexive awareness as you fully experience yourself as your body – centered in your field of perceptionas your self – being conscious of the subtle aspect of self that is larger, that is containing, that is in you,and all around you. Close your eyes for a few minutes and explore this inner relationship with yourself,your physical body, your light body, your shroud of many colors.Step TwoNow, take six of the 3" x 3" papers and draw images representing six uplifting events that deeplyimpressed you in a positive, loving, joyful, or fulfilling way. Refer to the drawings that match each of thefollowing descriptive statements.I was meditating one day, and I heard the sound of tinkling bells. As I merged with the sound, it wentthrough every cell of my body. The sound current is the living word of God and the meditation I wasdoing was “keeping God’s Holy Name.” Pythagoras called it the music of the spheres. This celestialmusic varies according to the dimension of the experience. It was sublime.My heart opened to living love. There is a passage inside our heart that opens into our sacred heart.When I entered the place of love within me, a vast, beautiful space opened within me and I felt wholeand held in complete love. I had the sense that a soothing flame ignited and created a glowthroughout my body and around me. When I later reflected on this, I recalled pictures of Jesus andHanuman with their chests open, exposing a sacred heart with a flame at the top.In 1976, with a group at the Quimby Center, I began the Southwestern College project. Twenty yearslater, the College was approved for accreditation. The meeting with the National CounselingAssociation (NCA,) when we were approved was the transformation of an earlier meeting, when wehad been denied. It was an incredible relief. We met back in our room and had a party. That was amajor turning point. A similar event, represented in the same image, occurred in 2006 when thecollege was granted full accreditation.73

I was meditating and experienced a golden energy come over me and into the top of my head. In theprocess of the meditation, I encountered a choice between two images. One image invited me todwell on sexually arousing images and to transport myself into that space. The other was to gohigher into the realm of my soul, as my beloved. I chose to follow the sound current into the highcountry. As soon as I made that choice, a strong energy settled above my head and then movedthrough me, down into the center of my head. The light in my head then expanded all through me.My relationship to my wife is a wonderful journey. There have been key moments when a deeperchoice was required to continue. In many ways the relationship grows stronger because we each areon our own spiritual paths, and seek fulfillment through that. Because of this, our relationship isincreasingly based on the overflow that comes from fulfillment through inner awareness.I started school in a one-room country school house. My parents placed me there a year early, when Iwas five. That was a wonderful time. The school house was in the country, so, when the weather wasgood, we took nature walks. I remember the older children helping the younger ones. The school wasthe center of the community, so each event of the year brought full participation from all of thefamilies.Step ThreePlace the “positive experiences” images onto the large picture of your physical self folded into yournoetic field. These images are energetically connected to the actual morphic field of your unconscious.74

Practice seeing the morphic field as a holographic image.The unconscious surrounds and interpenetrates yourphysical self. Using your aesthetic intuition, it is easy tolocate where the images go. This exercise provides practicein experiencing the change in the flow of consciousness asthe images change in form or position. We begin with thepositive images because the status quo and survivalfunctions of our subconscious mind will not resist. Once ourphysical self experiences the reality of this subtle activity, itwill more readily allow the next step.Step FourOur next step is to identify and draw images of six traumaticevents. When we experience trauma, we respond byformulating a sense of self as an optimum functionalsolution, based on our capacity to respond at the time. We formulate a set of beliefs and judgments thatgive us a sense of continuity and sufficient self-concept to meet the challenges of our life, even thoughmany images are compensating for injury. Again, associate the following descriptions with the matchingimages.We moved a lot when I was growing up. I built a shell to protect me from the hurt of making friendsand then losing them. It became a habit, in which I would not fully engage with others. I wouldprotect my feelings and withhold. This left me with a pervasive feeling of never belonging.In my eleventh and twelfth year, my brother seemed to take delight in holding a pillow over my head.I was convinced he was trying to kill me. I struggled and gasped for air, but he was stronger andprevailed. Just before I would pass out, he relented. He always did, but it was terrifying. My story is aclassic rite of initiation in our culture.I fell in love with the girl across the street in high school. This relationship continued through my timein the army. A year or so after I returned, she broke off our engagement. I was devastated. I judgedmyself and her, and adopted a firm case of self pity.I moved to New Mexico to be part of the Quimby Center after I graduated from college in SantaBarbara. I became an apprentice and confidant to Dr. Hunter, the primary teacher. She could be veryloving and also very controlling. At one point, we had a huge fight over a relationship I was in. Wehad fought before but this one was huge. I left the Center with a feeling of leaving forever. It wasover. I felt very disconnected. It was a terrible feeling. I called a friend who was also a spiritualteacher. He told me that the fight broke my connection to my higher self. At the time, I felt aconnection, but I did not completely resolve my judgments at that time.The year before Southwestern College became accredited, I was burning out. I became depressed. Iknew that this was a crucial time; that if we did not make accreditation now, no one would be able75

to continue. The board at that time decided that the best thing to do was to get rid of me. I knewthat it was very poor timing. I made a deal: “Let’s go for accreditation and get rid of me at the sametime.” Of course, this totally transformed the negativity and we formed a unified front. But, I still hadto leave just as we got the prize, and I was banished from campus for two years. In retrospect, I trustthe outcome, but at the time it sure did hurt.My first marriage ended in divorce after ten years. My sons were seven and nine at the time. We didour best as shared parents and went to counseling with our sons. Sharing custody became morechallenging over time and distance. When I remarried, thisbrought another younger son on board. The threesome was noteasy. When he was fifteen, my oldest son decided that living athome had too many rules and he left home. At about the sameage, the second son followed suit. The oldest and I now have agood relationship and the middle son won’t speak to me. This hasbeen very painful for me. I trust their lives, but I missed them andI still would like a closer relationship with the middle son.In the same manner as before, place the traumaticexperiences in their gravitational relationship to the positive images.Reflect on your sensations, feelings, sense of self and alignment asyou complete this process.76

Step FiveFrom our soul perspective, we bring all situations and circumstances to us, for the purpose oftransformation and actualization. Each event is meant to resolve, fulfill or broaden our understanding.Through transformation, we realign ourselves in a new reality. Write a self-forgiveness statement foreach trauma. Contemplate the trauma and your statement and deeply forgive yourself. Take a deepbreath and release the judgment and be aware of any changes in your feeling, shifts in your awarenessor your understanding. When this is complete, draw a transformed image of your trauma.In some ways, we rehearse our karma in our childhood. Each developmental cycle reflects anepoch of our ancient history. For example, when my boyhood family moved to a new place, I haddifficulty joining in with the groups that grew up together. My friends tended to be the other kids whoalso moved a lot. In retrospect, this developed my ability to rely on myself and resist peer pressure. Ihave a great sense of belonging in my life, and as I belong more in my life, surprisingly, I am acceptedmore readily into the lives of others. I felt something settle deeply within me when I forgave myselfEach forgiveness statement relates to one of the following transformational images. As you readthe statement of transformation, make the association with the associated new image.77

In this instance, self-forgiveness released my sense of powerlessness. I experienced my brother’shurt, frustration, and jealousy, and how that became almost unbearable because of his great heartand caring. I had also hurt him through the family dynamics of my contributing manipulation. Thetransformation carried me into a deep love for my brother. Memory of the event now elicits love.In this event, I actually formed a negative status as a victim. My attempting to assign my well-beingto another ended in rejection. This was actually a good thing. Two very important transformationsoccurred that resulted in a greater understanding of the self-betrayal of identifying as the victim andplacing “the beloved” outside of me. Domination is an empty way to feel safe, in control andpowerful. Now, when I think of my lost lover, I am filled with love and appreciation for the gift ofmyself. My heart opens, feels safe, and I feel my center as a greater alignment with the belovedwithin me that is self and God.I have gained a deep appreciation over the years for my teachers. Of course they have issues, andwith the added challenge of their gifts and the power and charisma that goes with that, they have anadditional challenge. This is true for all leaders; unresolved life issues can distort good works. In thiscase, the teacher had a strong transference to me. We were “married” in a sense I did notappreciate, even though it was her attachment to me. So, as our relationship evolved, and I had timeand opportunity for an outside relationship, she became very jealous. My transference to her asteacher was equally immature. I had placed my inner teacher on her, much like I might project myinner beloved. At any rate, now it is all a gift. She reminds me of my connection to God and Iremember her in love and gratitude.78

Choices I made with others made accreditation possible. So, I also forgive myself for not trusting mylife. We have to trust our lives and the lives of our children. Complex forces collaborate to foster the bestoutcome for each person involved. I had always looked forward to my sons being teenagers, andthen that’s the part I missed, except for my third son. I had a great opportunity to be there for him ina reciprocal way. I was there for my “gypsy” sons as well. The older one came to know that, and I amnot sure about the middle one. All told, I am humbled in the face of how I did not establish a goodfoundation with them. Mostly, I passed on the relationship I had with my father. I would like to becloser to my middle son; however, when I think of him the love for him is present and strong. I send itas a prayer. I trust he is finding himself and living his life. I honor his goodness daily, and I miss him.Step SixNow, replace the traumatic images with the transformed images, and through your increasingly stronginner sense of right, rearrange all of the images. Reflect on your experience of this final form, reviewingyour sensations, feelings, sense ofknowing, center and balance.After completing this process, Ifelt very empowered, liberated andfilled with a sense of resolution. I wasappreciative of the opportunity toresolve some unfinished business.These were situations that I knewabout before, but now the experienceof resolution filled me and warmed myheart. When I reflect on the traumaticincidents, I feel peace, expansion andjoy. In some cases, I experience astronger center and vibrancy throughmy body and in the surrounding space.When I look at the images and thepositioning, a sense of congruencyinvites me to a deeper realization ofmyself as living love. My fulfillment ispart of a greater fulfillment and alwayshas been.Ultimate responsibilitychallenges us to embrace just how bigwe are. As long as we can blameanything on something outside of79

ourselves, we stay small. We create, promote, or allow everything that happens to us. The first time Iheard that, I said, “No way.” Now, it is a source of humor. This is our life, and we require it to be the wayit is. How powerful can that get? In this situation, we could say that I enlisted everyone around me toliberate me into a greater understanding of self. In addition to my self-forgiveness, perhaps I should sayto everyone, “I am so sorry you had to be in my life in this way for the sake of my karma. I love you and Iforgive myself.” I have my life because I want my life. As I awaken more deeply, the greater potential ofmy life reveals itself.80

Chapter SixSTUDIO PROTOCOLSPreviously, I introduced the concept of The Studio. Before we explore protocols, a deeper sense will helpus appreciate the context in which the protocols seem to work best.When we imagine a studio, we see a room that would be a good place for us to make and shareour art - space that amplifies our sense of creativity, perfectly lighted and stocked with all the artmaterials we could ever use. When it is to be our personal studio, our consciousness would mingle withthe place and the materials, and the studio would come alive in a way that would respond to us just byour intention to “open the door and enter.” When we are away from our studio and imagine beingthere, the same feeling and reality arises within us as when we are there. When the studio is sharedwith our cohort, the consciousness of the place is amplified and contoured to match the coherence ofthe group.By now we have at least a feeling sense of the archetypal dimension. When I speak of TheStudio as a place made of consciousness and love, you probably have an experiential reference for that. Iexpect that you also have had the experience of being in a group in which your shared intent toparticipate in creative and spiritual activity manifested a sense of coherence, warmth, even kinship.When we build The Studio, we go a step further. We create an archetypal form that remembers us eachtime we, as a cohort, direct our intent to working together there. When we are away from the cohort,we enfold ourselves in its consciousness and pursue our transformational endeavors through makingart. As a cohort space, we play together in its heightened frequency, amplifying each other and thefulfillment of our purposes. Once The Studio becomes a coherent morphic field, it has a life of its own.As a physical space, and as a metaphysical space, we travel together as participants in The Studio,making our art, sharing, reflecting, and discovering our soul’s process. Remember, when you read thisbook, you are not alone. All that have gone this way before, and travel this way now are with you. Thegreat universe and the unknown, out of which it proceeds, becomes palpable in The Studio.Following are many of the protocols that I use in the Mandala Process, more or less in the orderin which I use them in the Archetypal Psychology class at Southwestern College. Welcome to the activityof The Studio.Functional DysfunctionalIdeally, I suggest that you do this process with one or two others. The small group enables you toexplore more deeply the social dimension of how we make and transform meaning. If you are doing thisprocess in a small group, proceed in silence until the debriefing at the end.1. Divide a sheet of large paper into twelve separate pieces. You can do this by cutting out neatlymeasured squares or just tearing the paper into pieces.81

2. Label the back of the pieces with these categories: spiritual (two positive and one negative);mental (two positive and one negative); emotional (two positive and one negative); physical (twopositive and one negative). The labels can simply be “S +,” “M -,” etc.Spiritual (S) Negative (-) Positive (+) Positive (+)Mental (M) Negative (-) Positive (+) Positive (+)Emotional (E) Negative (-) Positive (+) Positive (+)Physical (P) Negative (-) Positive (+) Positive (+)3. With oil pastels, draw images on the front of each paper (opposite from label). Draw twopositive, and one negative, image(s) from each of the categories of spiritual, mental, emotional,and physical, one per paper. These images represent real experiences in your life.4. Spread them out in front of you and explore the energy field with your hand. Explore the imagesvisually in terms of your aesthetic sensitivity, and your felt sense of meaning, energy and feelings.5. Arrange them in a dysfunctional relationship. By that, Imean in a low energy field, a conflicted aesthetic or confusedor negative meaning. Explore how that feels with your hand,visual intuition, or feeling state.6. Watch while your partners further arrange your imagesfrom their perspective of how the images can be moredysfunctional. Your partners will not be asking permission toinflict their viewpoint on your images, and no image is to bedamaged in the process. Reflect on your feelings and reactionsas you witness this. When your partners have finished and youhave briefly reflected on the results, proceed to arrange theirimages (each person has a separate turn).7. After sitting with the dysfunctional array for awhile,arrange the images in a functional relationship that is, high-energy, good feeling, clarityreflectingon your experience of this configuration in contrast to thedysfunctional form. Reflect and journal on your experience.8. If you are working with one or two others, they will now help out. Thistime, they must ask before touching any of your images. Remember,this is a silent process. When your partners are finished with yourimages, briefly reflect and then turn to arranging their images (take aseparate turn for each person).9. When this is complete, take some time to reflect and then debrief withyour group, exploring the nature of your experience and exploring anydiscovery made in the process.10. When finished with the debriefing, make another drawing that is amandala of all of the images. The mandala is not a collage of the images.82

It is a new drawing that incorporates all of the images. The images may change in the newdrawing. The goal of this configuration is to reflect the greatest integration of functionality, orhigh-energy field.11. When the mandala is finished, or at the next meeting, I have the participants bring the mandalasback to class. First, I have them debrief again in the same groups. This helps them follow theprocess they developed with each other and explore the outcome in the small group. When thesmall groups have finished, we return to the large group. I require everyone to share in the largegroup.HeartContinuing now with our development of the cosmic person (Kadmon), weturn now to the heart center. In the deep archetypal sense, the heart center isthe sacred heart. The sacred place that we enter through the doorway of theheart is universal. The Mayans considered the space of the sacred heart to bemade of twelve aspects or dimensions. In Christianity, the sacred heart ofJesus is shown as a glorified organ radiating in an open chest. The heart ofHanuman, in Hinduism, is often shown the same way. The sacred heart is avirtual dimension of the heart that we can access through a doorway in thephysical heart.Before we continue into the sacred heart, we need to resolve mattersof the heart. By that, I mean that our experience of conditional love has left uswith an accumulation of beliefs and judgmentsthat congest the atmosphere around this center. The thought forms createa protection and a viewpoint. By resolving and clearing these forms, weopen the way into the deeper spiritual realms of the heart. In preparation,we will make a list. The list will be composed of phrases that identifyjudgments and beliefs that reflect trauma, limitation or protection. Forexample, your first love rejected you and you decided that love was notsafe; perhaps you developed a corollary decision that you would punish orbe cruel as a protection. Rather than write the whole story, just assign afew words that identify it for you. We will use this list in the followingprocess.The following are a few more examples that form blocks aroundthe heart center. Suppose that your brother received a more expensive giftat Christmas, so you decided you were not as loved; maybe your motherdid not really want more children so you believed that you were unlovable,or that your mother’s problems were your fault. Perhaps you decidedalong the way that you had to do what everyone else needed in order toget the love you needed. Further, your mother and grandmother believed83

the same things, so you forgive yourself for them too. You get the idea. Let’s make the list. Just so yourbasic self will trust you, write “confidential” at the top of the page.Before we begin, arrange your drawing materials nearby at the ready. In this way, you andothers, if you are in a classroom, will have fewer disturbances during the transition of meditation todrawing. Place your list on your lap and have a pen handy.1. Take a few moments to settle into your space and engage higher consciousness, in your own way,and do so for the highest good for you and everyone.2. Look at the first item on your list and silently engage the story behind it. Say out loud, “I forgivemyself.” Place a check by that item as a ritual, meaning that this is done, and then go to the nextitem. Systematically repeat this until you have completed your list. If you are in a group, you willhear a chorus of self-forgivenesses in the background.3. Put your list aside and close your eyes.4. Take a deep breath and relax into your space.5. Imagine that you are walking in nature. Look up at the sky and down at the earth. Feel the life of thesky and earth moving through you. Feel your feet on the earth.6. Move your awareness into your physical heart. See yourself as a tiny you inside of your physicalheart, or see yourself as a light.7. Explore your heart with the intent to find the door or passageway into your sacred heart. You maybe walking along, admiring the architecture of your heart, following the passage from one vertical tothe other, and then you turn a corner, finding yourself in the space of your sacred heart. You maysee an actual doorway and walk through it into the space of your sacred heart. As you form theintention, you may suddenly and easily find yourself there. You can move there by acting as if it is soand imagining what it would be like to be there; suddenly it is real.8. Entering your sacred heart may be very subtle or it may be dramatic. Whatever the case, becomefamiliar with the environment of this space. What are the fragrances, colors, sounds or textures?Allow the space to reveal itself to you. Move with the space. This is a place of unconditional love,existing within you. Explore.9. After awhile, gently open your eyes and move toward your drawing. If you are not sure of yourexperience, the essence will reveal itself as you draw. You may have experienced a lot and find thatdrawing reveals to you even more.10. Take time to fulfill the invitation to draw.11. If you are alone in this process, take some time to journal. If you are in a class, we will return to thelarge group and take turns sharing about the pictures. When I am teaching, I have each personshare, and often, through conversation, move deeper into the experience, as a means of bringingmore awareness to the process and developing the students’ sensitivity.84

HeadWe will continue with the formation of the Cosmic Person (Kadmon)archetype, with the addition of the Head Center. The Head Center is adoorway into the inner school, wisdom school, or Amenti, where wemeet our inner teacher, access our higher wisdom, formulate cocreation,and embark on journeys into the inner worlds. We enter thisexperience having first engaged our sacred heart. The heart energyprovides the resources and orientation for us to move into the innerschool. In ancient times this place was referred to as Hall of Amenti. Inthis place we remember the ancient wisdoms, reunite with our innerteacher and open the way to dimensional discovery. The archetype ofAmenti invites us through images of “heaven is within,” Shangri-la, the“city of God.” In terms of this writing, we transfer our awareness intoour inner studio.1. Settle into your space now. Bring your loving present and begin to align inside. Ask for thepresence of the Christ to be with you, in you. And ask for the guidance of the Holy Spirit for thehighest good of everybody concerned. Alternative language would be to ask for the presence ofyour wholeness, and the universal loving of all that is, and for the guidence of your higherconsciousness for the highest good.2. Bring your awareness to the center of your head. See the light that is there. Let it grow.3. As it is large enough to fill the inside of your head, see yourself walking in that ball of light.4. Begin seeing yourself walking along a pathway. Know that this pathway leads to your innerwisdom school.5. While you're walking on that pathway, look down at your feet, and see what you're wearing.6. See how you're dressed and as you continue walking, see what the nature of the path is. It maybe gravel or sand or maybe just a dirt path going through the grass. As you continue to walk,become more involved with the environment, the sights and sounds and fragrances. Are thereplants? Are there flowers around you, or trees? Can you hear birds singing? Continue to walk.Look up at the sky. Is it a blue sky, or are there clouds, or is it a star filled night sky? As youcontinue, you become more and more involved in this internal space. Let it come alive for you.7. As you are walking along, you see up ahead your Wisdom School. Allow it to present itself inwhatever form it does. It could appear as a castle, a cathedral, a structure of glass or amountain. It shapes itself to your nature. Trust as you invite this relationship within you. Soon,you find yourself approaching the entry way. The entry way to your Wisdom School. This entryway is a long passage.8. As you step inside this passage, it illuminates in the color red, and lights up in this living, redenergy. As you continue to walk, the red energy surrounds you and fills you and seems torespond to you in whatever way you need this color.85

9. Continue to walk, and the color changes to orange. Again, it fills you and responds to you.10. Continue to walk and the color changes to yellow. Breathe this color all through you.11. Step into the green and the blue.12. Soon, the blue changes into indigo.13. After a while, this gives way to purple, then silver, then gold, and then you step into a turquoisecolor.14. Then white fills you.15. You find yourself at the end of the passageway. You look at the wall and see the symbol foryour Wisdom School. The symbol covers the wall at the end of the passage way. Stay a momentto engage this image, then reach out and touch it. Feel the pattern, colors and textures. Is asound audible as you touch or engage this symbol?16. Now turn to your right and step into the main hall of the mystery school. Become acquaintedwith the sights and sounds of the place; the furnishings, the colors, the things on the wall, thenature of the wall itself, fragrances. Then, look up at the ceiling. It is transparent, a high vaultedceiling. Just pause for a moment and be present. The ceiling seems to extend up forever.17. You then become aware of a consciousness in the center of the room.18. Walk closer and become aware of its form. Go closer to the center of the room. In the center ofthe room, there is a being of light. This consciousness, this being, may appear to you in differentways. This being may appear as a vortex of energy or as undulating colors with a pair of eyes. Itmay appear as a person. Just trust how it presents itself. Then, in whatever way it presentsitself, engage in this consciousness. It is your inner teacher.19. Make eye contact. Engage the loving that is present. Trust. Just engage the energy and begin toallow it to remind you of your ancientness and your holiness. Begin a conversation.20. As you begin to feel comfortable with this consciousness, step inside of this being and take thatwithin you and around you. Orient yourself so you can look out through its eyes, and so it canlook out through your eyes.21. This is your inner teacher. You can ask him/her any question. What mystery did you wantresolved, question answered? Identify with the question, transform into it. Then see the answer,become the answer, see it where it takes you.22. Look out into the space you are in, through the eyes of this inner consciousness. This innerWisdom School room becomes a place of manifestation. A place in which we can create theseed for what we want to manifest in the world. In this case, we are going to create the seed ofa prayer. Take a few breathing cycles, where you breathe in the energy, from above and below,into your heart and then out into the space.23. Look above you into the vastness. You see at the apex of the ceiling a passage way. Thepresence you are within invites you to come, to travel upward.24. You can choose to stay or go. If you choose to go, let go. Travel out though the opening in theceiling. Your inner teacher is with you, guiding you, protecting you.25. You may find yourself traveling in the vast, dimensional space of the worlds beyond. Take yourtime. Explore the sights and sounds.26. After awhile, notice an urging to return to the great room of your Wisdom School.86

27. Find yourself once again in the center of the room, looking out through the eyes of your innerteacher.28. As you‘re ready, step out of the center of the room, turn around, give thanks to this holyconsciousness inside you, and then return to the entry way.29. Turn to your inner teacher with love and gratitude. Remember, so that you can come backwhenever you want to.30. Step into the passage.31. Engage the symbol of your school once more.32. Then turn around and begin walking once more through the colors. Through the turquoise, goldand silver, purple, indigo, blue and green, yellow, orange and red.33. Return to the awareness in the center of your head.34. Extend yourself into your body. When you are ready, open your eyes.35. If you like, make a drawing of your experience. Often, new or refined elements of yourexperience will appear in the drawing.36. If you are in a classroom setting, join a two- or three-person group and, with your drawing,debrief about your experience.Golden TriangleRoberto Assagioli developed a therapeutic technique called the Golden Triangle. The idea for the GoldenTriangle protocol comes from Psychosynthesis. It is ideal for synthesizing opposites, especially when theclient is caught in the paradox of seemingly antithetical or adversarial polarities in which s/he cannottranscend or deepen into soul-space. The process of integrating opposites moves the client into theircenter. The flow of energy follows the imagery. In this case, for example, a client may be caught in aconflict between shame from being victimized and the desire for revenge. The conflict drives aseparation from center.A central part of Jung’s work was the integration of opposites. When opposites are integrated,our consciousness moves into a higher level. In this case, I encourage people to journal about opposites,such as contradictions, paradoxes, unresolved polarizing issues, andinternally perceived female and male qualities. For example, make alist of dualities, by pairing up some of the qualities you like anddislike in your partner or yourself. This may include a judgment youhave of someone, and what you would like them to do instead;areas of role and gender confusion; philosophical polarities such asgood and evil; or dilemmas such as: if there is a God, then why doessuch-and-such happen? Once a satisfactory list is compiled andrefined, then use the Golden Triangle meditation below.1. Visualize a golden triangle in front of you, with its basetoward your feet.87

2. Visualize a symbol for each element of the duality. The symbol is best when it is simple andrelevant in meaning for you.3. Place one symbol on each of the lower corners of the triangle.4. Intend and allow the images to slowly migrate up the sides of the triangle. The symbols, triangle,and noetic field will interact, causing the symbols to transform as they progress. This processworks best when guided and allowed, rather than forced or second-guessed.5. The symbols will continue to change as they approach the apex.6. As they interact at the top, allow them to shift in whatever way they do. They will synthesizeinto a new image, which may or may not contain elements of the original energies. Allowyourself to flow or move with the felt sense that emerges through this synthesis and go with itwherever it takes you. Often, it is an epiphany.7. Draw your experience.8. Report or journal the resulting experience.9. When I am using this process in a class, everyone brings their drawing to the group, where wedebrief and explore discoveries, questions, meaning, experience, etc.Life PanelsIn the archetype of time is fluid. It unfolds according to the synchronicity of events, as well as what isrequested, and how. Time is a uniform presence of all possibilities. Morphic time shapes the moment asan unfolding action from an implicate field. Temporal time correponds to the cause and effect of lifeevents. In both cases, the causality in our life flows through the archetype of time. In this section we willuse Life Panels to explore the formation and tansformation of consciousness through events.Life Panels are a symbolic method of deciphering, understanding, and refining life experience. Ina sense, we are accessing the genetic code of our emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies throughimaginal means. In its simplest form, a Life Panel symbolizes a life-changing event. The panel begins bysymbolizing our consciousness before the event. The middle picture symbolizes the life-changing event,or depicts a composite image, representing a theme or type of event. The panel ends by symbolizing theresulting change in consciousness.In the macrocosm of the Cosmic Person, time holds the context of experience. Past and futureare changable probabilities based on the choice made in the omnipresent now. In this context, thewords past and future are ways to correlate information.In the realm of morphic time, past, present and future are simultaneous. Events occur inresponse to our choice, the probability of our lives and our destiny pattern. Each choice begins withchaos. The belief in time as a linear progression of cause and effect limits our awareness of the chaos.We only have to think in one direction and develop our ability to understand time-bound cause andeffect. Evidently, we need to have a good foundation in linear time and cause. When we choose, theintentionality of that choice creates a “time line.“ The time line follows the causality of past, presentand future. Our conditioning is generally to have regrets or to glorify ourselves, based on the past ,andto worry about or idealize the future. This binds time so that it is rigid and set, loosing its fluidity.88

Although we may need this foundation of linear time, when we are limited to this perspective, we cannever be present. As we continue to discover and develop, being present is an important key to livingfrom our wholeness and faciltating transformational relationships.Once we have experienced an event, and develop meaning based on that event, it shapes ourreality. The actual physcal time event passes but the reality of our belief and judgments about it staysactive in our morphic field. We own what happened. The good news about this is that we can access thestored information in the morphic field and change it, thus changing our reality and changing the effectin our lives. When we forgive ourselves, we change the past as it exists as information in the morphicfield, which changes our present. We choose probable futures by what we continually focus on. Whenwe reconcile an issue in the present, our probable future changes. As we have said, from the viewpointof quantum physics, no cause is local, meaning that when something occurs on the so-called time-line, itwas initiated from a deeper dimension. The value of physical experience is that we can developunderstanding because the consequences are concrete, even though the causes are multidimensional.For the microcosmic self (ego), events apear to be in a sequence. To the macrocosmic self, events justare.Consider again living as center with your soul approaching you from the horizon—from thecircumference. Our soul exists in what we are to become and in causing all the activity it takes for us toget there. Changing reality occurs by bringing the prefered reality into the physical level. As Jesus said,when we have done it in our heart, we have already done it in life (paraphrase). This is also sort of likesetting a goal. We set a goal and progress toward it. Or, does the goal cause us to do what we need todo to shift into that reality? In the archetypal macrocosm, time is fluid. One way of seeing this is as avortex that we negotiate between our current level of consciousness and what we don’t know and haveto resolve, the reality we want to be in, and the nature of reality. This vortex is like a merkaba and all thetriangulations are creating and resolving various dualities into unities. On the ground, this appears as asequence through time. As we explore the panels and become more conscious of the physics of theprocess of growth and development, we can apply the greater depth of understanding and awareness toshifting reality through a fluid appraoch to time.In the following Life Panel example, our subject begins with a developed military nature. Theram symbolozes the Aries energy that gives him the ability to act with confidence and force. The tankrepresents a military understanding of the use of power and technology to bluntly accomplish goals.Through the experience of the farm and family environment, new qualities emerge. The iris representsthe understanding of organic “technology,” and the power of rhythms, cycles, growth and nurturing as ameans of accomplishing a purpose, or harvest. The Aquarian symbol represents an ability to accomplishthrough the outpouring of spirit, consensus,mediation and diplomacy. The military manbecomes a spiritual warrior.An event may appear to have anegative outcome. In that case, the panelprovides us with a means to clarify and workwith those events and use the geneticinformation to create transformation.89

Sometimes it is a case in which the change, though appearing negative, is actually positive. It may just bemisunderstood, because the positive element is undetected or the larger possibility is unclear. Theseemingly negative event may have actually been a building block toward an eventual transformation.To test this, we can differentiate the event into more refined elements. A negative experience mayactually cause us to resist domination, strike out on our own, or find inner resources we did not knowwe had.Discovering the positive element of an apparently negative outcome is transformative. Forexample, when we reach out to share our loving in the innocence of youth, and are embarrassed by aninsensitive adult, we may at first think the important outcome is that we became distrustful of ourloving and closed down our heart. On closer examination, we may see that the event developed greaterwisdom and discernment. Further investigation may reveal that we were reaching out because webelieved we lacked inherent strength or goodness. The event caused us to reflect inwardly and tap intoour inherent strength. As a result, we became more self-reliant. Our self-reliance may have a shadowside, resulting in a habit of not asking for help, which limits our access to universal help from God, fromothers, or from life. Subsequently, we meet a teacher or friend that reveals the limitation of our belief.Through self-forgiveness and asking for universal assistance, we expand upon our self-reliance andtransform the shadow. Refining the panel helps us discover the positive movement and progression ofthe life theme.Applying the technique of Indexing may also prove useful. Indexing is the principle thatsymptomatic difficulties are indexed to soul-aims. The clue that points to the soul-aim is symbolicallyembedded in the symptomatic pattern. Indexing also may reveal a life theme.As we elaborate our journey through creating life panels, a triptych emerges, depicting theformative adventures of life. This process reveals unifying themes that reflect the soul’s nature and theintegration of those fulfilled potentials. A greater potential for this process is actualized by artisticallyconstructing a mandala that integrates the elements of the panels, as well as the discovered themesand unifying principles.Panels that are clear and transformationally resolved represent a form of initiation. Life is selfinitiating. As we resolve the challenge, we move internally from one state to another by changing ourstructure. In a sense, we symbolically eat our way through life, creating movement throughtransforming consciousness. The new consciousness is the actualized form of the soul’s intention.Panels may also include several events combined into a theme for the lifetime. In the Caycematerial, the past life picture began with a symbol that represented the consciousness at the beginning.The center image was a symbol for the experience that fostered the growth. The last image was asymbol representing the consciousness gained at the end of the life. We can work the same way withour current life. The following examples reflect transformational themes in my life.Example OneI began with an ability to persevere, which I will symbolize by a symbol for Mars. With thattenacity, a series of events began from childhood forward.90

Afraid of the dark, I would force myself to enter dark rooms. I would often cover my head with ablanket at night.We would sleep outside at night.When I was around ten or eleven, my brother would place a pillow over my head. I couldn’tbreathe. I would scream and fight until he stopped. I thought he was trying to kill me. Inhindsight, I realized he only wanted to terrorize me. I persevered, survived, and becamestronger as a consequence.At about age sixteen, another teen held a knife to my throat outside a party. A calmnessemerged from within me. I spoke to him in even tones and talked him into putting the knifeaway.At age nineteen, I was in the army in a sensory deprivation experience. I was in a small cubiclewithout light or sound for three days. After about a day the room illuminated, and formsradiating exquisite color and light floated in space. I had out-of-body experiences.Talking to a friend about a sensitive experience, I became very vulnerable. A pop occurred in mychest, and healing energy began flowing through my hands that responded to my will.In a dream state, I was cast into a bright field of light with no reference points. I screamed, yetwas just fine.I was meditating, and a vision appeared that offered me a choice between a lustful opportunityor a path upward. I chose the upward path. The area above me filled with a powerful lovingenergyEntering through the top of my head, it filled my body.This sequence transformed me from being fearful, alienated, and alone, to having a strong,illuminated relationship with Holiness. In my panel, I symbolized theend state as a radiant heart. As a depiction of the entire panel, I drewan upside-down heart in a dark field. This image represents thetheme of fear and isolation. The transformation of fear resulted in anempowerment of my innate courage.Example TwoThe second example also began in early childhood.Again, I symbolize this beginning consciousness with the symbol of Mars, because all I had wasmy perseverance in the face of adversity.Around seven and eight, when I fell asleep on my back, I would experience being marauded bybeasts. Yelling in terror, I had to fight my way out of sleep.I had a recurrent dream, beginning about the same age. I felt feverish. A huge wave of liquid firecame toward me like surf at the beach. It inundated me, tumbling me in its wake. Later, I made91

a connection between my dream and dropping the atom bomb on Japan. Upon so doing, myallergies eased.As I grew older, the marauding dreams became more distinct. Wild dogs would attack me andtry to chew off my hands. At first, I fought them. Then I would practice being lucid, rememberingthat this was a dream and I was not being physically harmed. That ended the experience and Iwas safe.As time passed, the dream reoccurred in a new form. The place I was in was bright and open.Attack dogs would howl and begin running toward me from a distance in slow motion. They hadtargets on their sides. As they dove at me, I had plenty of time to gracefully knock them aside.In another dream sequence, I would be in a carnival-type scene. A ninja phantom chased me,popping out of nowhere. Finally, I stopped, turned toward him fearlessly, and made eye contact.It turned out to be me. My disowned trust and well-being was trying to join with me.I participated in the Civil Rights Movement in the South, entering potentially dangerouscircumstances for a deeply held cause. I met wonderful people. Differences dissolved.This series of experiences made me feel safe in my life. I symbolize this as a radiant self. A simplistic panel might includesymbolizing the theme of adversity as a frowning face, under attackby lightning in a dark field.Life Span TransformationWe are accustomed to living our causality from past, to present, to future. In the archetypal realm,cause is simultaneous. There is a variation of the perspective in quantum physics that no cause is local.Local being physcial, and non-local being in the morphic field. The choice, image or intention is thecause. In the panel exercises, we explore the familiar sequences in our life in which event schange ourself constellation in a positive or negative way.Consider now that perhaps there is a different sequence in which the future, or at least thefuture in our archetyypal perspective, is the cause. The future causes the present?1. Choose an unresolved trauma or issue.2. Symbolize it and make a drawing.3. Imagine an experience in which this trauma is healed, transformed, or resolved. Make sure youhold with this until you feel the full sense of being made whole and healthy in relationship to thetrauma or issue – that the transformation fully exists.4. Make a drawing of this experience. This is the same as step three in the panel drawings.5. Now, go to the center panel and imagine an experience that transformed the trauma or issue, asif it had occurred and produced the results of the previous drawing. In other words, visualizeand embody the experience that transforms the trauma or issue. Make a drawing of that92

Journeyingexperience. Does the healing that you want (as a soul) cause the trauma you need in order toexperience the transformation?The Journeying exercise is a rich source of discovery. Journeying is easiest with three people, unless in alarge group with a facilitator. A couple sits facing each other, and a third person will be a guide for ameditation. Drawing materials are made ready and convenient for use at the proper time. As an option,appropriate music is fine. The following is a guided format.1. Sit opposit your partner.2. With eyes closed; ask for the light and for the highest good. Place your attention in the center ofyour head and visualize a growing ball of light.3. When the ball is about the size of a basketball, see yourself within the ball of light, and imaginethat the ball floats above your head.4. Be aware of the sights, sounds, fragrances, colors, objects, and vegetation in the place you are.5. After a while, imagine that you see your partner approaching you. Greet each other and go on ajourney together, much like in the physical world, pointing out sights and sharing impressions.6. As the journey ends, pause and, with physical eyes still closed, visualize looking into each other’seyes.7. Exchange symbolic giftswith one another.8. Gently open your eyes and, in silence, draw your experience.9. After the drawings are complete, share your drawings and debrief about the experience withyour partner.More often than not, there are striking similarities between the two experiences.Back to BackBack to Back involves two people, sitting with their backs to each other.1. Take a deep breath and relax, asking to be surrounded by the light for the highest good.2. See yourself and your partner together in a bubble of light.3. Successively fill the bubble with the colors red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and purple.4. Meditate for awhile.5. Draw whatever comes to mind.6. When the drawings are finished, compare the drawings and debrief.Again, the similarities are often striking.93

The Studio MeditationThe purpose of this meditation is to order forward the energetic presence of The Studio. Practicing overtime creates a frequency in our field that enables us to instantly activate The Studio with intention and aslight movement of consciousness.Self1. Breathe deeply and align your awareness in the center of your head and your heart.2. See a chanel of luminous energy passing through your head and heart, and extend this energyupward, in a vertical column, to the highest realm of living love that you can imagine. Ingratitude, take a deep breath and make the connection so.3. Select a point above you on the column and extend a cone of luminous energy down from thatpoint, with the point of the cone facing upward, until your body is complety covered. Ingratitude, take a deep breath and make it so.4. Extend the luminous column into the center of the earth, into a radient cone, and from thatvantage point see the radiant matrix that is the fabric of the created universe. In gratitude, takea deep breath and make it so.5. Bring your awareness sdown the column and select a point from which you extend a luminouscone of energy up, with the point of the cone pointing downward, to fuse with the cone fromabove. In gratitude, take a deep breath and make it so.6. Relax into this space, breathing energy from above and below to fill the space. Breathe red,orange, yellow, blue, indigo, purple, silver, gold, turquoise, white and tranlucence, from aboveand below, into this space. In gratitude, take a deep breath and make it so.7. Feel the peace, the living love, the presence. In gratitude, take a deep breath and then let go.8. Engage your greater self and acknowledge that you are in this place to make art, explore, heal,transform and discover wisdom. You are now ready.Cohort9. You are sitting in The Studio. See each member of your cohort around you, either physically orvirtually. See your double cone expand. See the double cone of each member of your cohortexpand simultaneously. See them merge as one double cone, extending from above and below.In gratitude, take a deep breath and make the merging so.10. Visually engage the members of your cohort, taking a moment to honor and appreciate yourkinship.94

Chapter SevenSANCTUARY OF SELFWe all have a natural urge to awaken our holiness and fulfill our promise.The keys are within us. As our mastery unfolds, we see the universethrough new eyes. As we see in new ways, previously unseen dimensionsof life unfold. Consider that our evolution is more than a by-product of anactualizing universe, and that our perceptive nature invites us into avalued role in creation. Our witnessing may be intrinsic to the potentialof life itself. The power of witness is essential to the Mandala Process, asis our ability to dialogue with the centers of sanctuary that we callchakras. A sanctuary is a place of refuge, a safe place in which we canreside and revitalize. Each center has a special attribute. Because eachcenter functions in the world and in our lives, beliefs (enhancing and limiting) constellate around eachcenter. In order to enter the sanctuary, we need resolve and transform the limiting beliefs. We can thenintegrate the facilitative beliefs and archetypal virtues of each center into a composite abode in whichour life is sanctuary for us.We bind and free our consciousness through our ability to choose and construct beliefs. Thebasic premise of phenomenology, as a discovery method, is that as our limiting beliefs becomesedimented, they crystallize into belief patterns and shape our perception of reality. These beliefs areindexed to Soul agendas. So, when we deconstruct these beliefs, the forces of actualization resume theirassertion and transform the sedimentation.We can begin in the simplest way by practicing our ability to pay attention and relax. Attentionholds a focus, while relaxing lets go of control and allows movement. Add kindness and appreciation andwe are definitely on our way. This movement occurs simultaneously within us and in the world aroundus. The image, or thing, of our focus determines the unfolding phenomenon that we experience. We arefamiliar with the sayings that “energy follows thought,” and “the universe brings to us that which wepay attention to.”The next basic protocol is that life reflects back to us that which we want to discover withinourselves. When we judge another, the judgment reflects our own need. By using the judgment as amirror, we can discover the answer to our internal need. Unresolved internal injury and separationreflect in the mirror of life as challenges, conflict, and obstacles. As we awaken to our truth and resolveinternal conflict, life increasingly reflects grace, support, and opportunity. Every issue in our lives reflectsan attribute that we, from a soul perspective, intend to fulfill as destiny. By deconstructing theconstellation of causes, reasons, and effects that are sedimented into limiting beliefs, we free theactualizing forces of our soul. We do this through a process of “reduction.” Reduction is aphenomenological protocol that allows us to apprehend understanding directly from experience. Thisexperience is called noegenesis. It is the way of spiritual intelligence. Reduction is akin to reducingmineral ore in a furnace in order to retrieve its essence.As a review for the study at hand, I use the term Reductive Focus Protocol. The steps are:95

1. focus on a given phenomenon;2. exclude all else (bracket);3. deconstruct the sedimenting beliefs, releasing their perceptual fixity;4. embrace the unfolding image, sense, insight, or intuition. It is a more elaborate form of payingattention and relaxing.Phenomenology calls the experience of essence or truth, noesis. This term comes from noetic.Noetic comes from the Greek nous, which is the wind of spirit that emerges from the void as the firstemanating spirit of creation. This translates into noetic, meaning spiritual mind. When we view ourconsciousness as an energy field, the term noetic emphasizes the role of consciousness in the formationof life and personality. In noetic discovery, or thinking, if you like, we focus first on the thing or situationat hand. By deconstructing the target of our focus, called the noema, the loosened energy will carry ourawareness to the answer or bring it to us. Said another way, as we free ourselves from our limitedawareness of self or life, we are transformed by the gravitational pull of our own holiness. Thus, theinvitation to “die daily,” or to be “born again.” The noesis and noema are linked by intention and formthe structure of reality. Archetypes first formed from the intentional movement of primal sound.We develop our noetic skills through the exercise of discovery. We also enhance our noeticpotential by awakening and developing “organs” of connection within our native structure. The physicaland etheric counterparts to each essential organ form a nexus between our psychological, physical andspiritual selves. The word nexus means connection, tie, communications link, or a specialized membranefor cellular communication. As we exercise each nexus, we enhance our capacity to be consciousmultidimensional participants and have access to all aspects of the noetic field. Two major nexuses areshown here. As we activate and exercise these nexuses, our access to our noetic awareness, loving andintelligence becomes greatly enhanced. As we develop our centers, we move from a life based on fear toa life of sanctuary.Holy CityMany years ago, a teacher said to me that the Isle of Patmos, referred to in Revelations in the ChristianBible, was symbolic for the spiritual center residing at the pituitary gland. For me, this was a noetic key,or nexus. It also demonstrated to me the key organs relating to the spiritual centers and consciousarchetypes that are gateways or nexus points to inner realms. As the biblical story goes, John theBeloved sat on a rooftop on the Isle of Patmos and the sky opened up. Was the Book of Revelation astory of things to come or a manual for developing the skill of revelation, a yoga for noetic evolution?Perhaps we are the revelation, the event, and the promise of the prophecy.It then occurred to me that, when John sat on the rooftop on the Isle of Patmos, a significantphenomenological protocol was in play, similar to the protocol of passing through the doorway of thehead center into the inner classroom. Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine that you aresitting in the center of your head, on a roof overlooking the Mediterranean Sea on a bright sunny day96

accented with rolling clouds. Then, bracket the inner vision, deconstruct any beliefs you may have aboutreligion and interpretations of John the Beloved - who he was and what he was doing in Patmos. As allelse falls away, your sky opens up dramatically, and you are engaged by a spiritual reality. For John,prophecy notwithstanding, the events that followed were a journey inward, and a preview for thepotential of humanity. Consider that inner transformation can affect the probable future that occurs.In the Book of Revelations, John conveyed to posterity a detailed account of the awakening andtransforming of his psychospiritual universe, and its culmination when he was initiated into what hecalled the Holy City, or the “city of the Christ.” When the sky opened, he began an inner journey in whatappeared to be spiritual worlds. His experience may well have been a historical prophecy; however,when I noetically follow John’s lead, an amazing process unfolds. John gives us a new yoga, a protocolthrough which we can engage and purify our centers and journey into the Holy City. Revelation is anarchetype of just that: the archetype of revelation.A complete treatise on John’s vision is too lengthy for this writing. Suffice it to say that the seventhunders and the seven churches are psychospiritual centers (archetypes), accessed through specificnexus centers in the body. In yoga psychology, these centers are the chakras. The beast rising from thesea is the shadow from our unconscious. He comes to understand the seduction of our materialaddictions. In each instance, John follows the reductive focus protocol. He attends to the focus anddeconstructs his viewpoint. At each point, the consciousness residing therein presents itself to him interms of its distortions, divine nature, and transformation. At each transformation, John proceeds.Finally, he sees the Holy City descending toward him. In noetic constructs, John’s reductive focusthrough the mastery protocols (which follow) brought him, finally, to his deepest response. Thesymbology of John’s experience contains ancient mystical teachings, reflected by Melchizedek and theEssenes. The protocol itself is universal. He found sanctuary in the archetypal abode of the Holy City. Hetraversed his inner world, transforming the elements of each center (provincial sanctuaries), which thenculminated in his entrance into the Holy City.Universal ScopeThe Sanctuary of Self is based on ancient mysteries and woven into a context of modern psychology. Theuniversality of human expression, compared to the apparent duality of religious and scientific evolution,is a paradox. It is a paradox that we can resolve through our spiritual (noetic) mind, our ability tounderstand directly through experience, and our capacity to be a healing and transformative agent. Thisrefinement and enhancement includes a greater capacity to love unconditionally, live soul-centeredlives, and unite our minds with the noetic field. Only mastery can mentor or teach sanctuary. Sanctuary!What a statement. We are safe within ourselves. We are the abode. Heaven is within us.I developed the Sanctuary of Self protocols from many years of guiding students in a way thatintroduces them to deeper levels of themselves, to the mystery of their individuated soul, and theiraccess to the noetic field. It is an exercise for training the spiritual mind. These protocols activate themystical wisdom embedded in the deep structure of our being, exercising our soul-center, converting97

our minds, and opening the nexus points to the noetic field. In so doing, they purify distortions andtransform incompletions that are integral to personal history. They eat up our shadow.The Sanctuary of Self protocol enables us to journey inward, while enhancing our capacity to doso, and activates and develops the spiritual centers. These centers govern our expression anddevelopment as spiritual beings living physical incarnations. Each center is a variation on our spiritualunity, while serving a specific province of psychological, psychic, physical, and spiritual functions. Theyhold the keys of liberation and our capacity to walk among the stars; to transcendentally participate inspiritual universes and explore the “far country” that is the native land of the soul. They also hold thekeys to living abundant, sustainable lives. Sanctuary is learning to be “in this world, while not of it.”Revelation and Soul NatureThe central feature of the Sanctuary of Self is soul. I speak of soul-centering, soul-space, soul alignment,self as soul, and soul as nexus to the noetic field, to All That Is. In the noetic approach, spiritual learningoccurs through revelation. When we focus reductively, understanding is revealed to us from the noeticfield as perception, or knowing. The nexus that attunes us to the noetic field is much like the gesturemade when you say, “The kingdom of heaven is at hand.” In this sense, the noetic field is much like thepresence of heaven. You reach out and touch it. Reductive focus is just a skillful means of “seeking firstthe kingdom within.” In Persian, God is “Khunda,” which means self-revealing. In this sense, the soul isliving knowledge that is revealed to us when we direct our energy and awareness inwards, whilerelinquishing our expectations and dogmatic projections. When we say, “I don’t know,” we move fromignorance into knowing. Our attentiveness is a doorway through which revelation can find ourawareness.Revelation is the nature of the soul and an expression of its own creation. The soul is a way ofknowing. It is living knowledge. In his mastery of the Sufi way, Hazrat Inayat Khan said, “One can onlyknow that living knowledge when one has experienced it oneself by the opening of the heart. It is thenthat the purpose of life is fulfilled” (Khan, 223). He further speaks of the noetic style of the soul as arevelatory experience, as we find that heaven abounds in our natural experience.Revelation came to the saints and saviors of humanity. It is not just a tale when we hear that thesaints spoke with trees and plants in the wilderness, that a voice from the sea rose and the saintsheard it, that masters talked with the sun, moon, and stars. For the deeper a person dives intolife, the more he is convinced that all is living, whether beings or objects, art or nature; whateverhe sees, whatever he perceives through the senses, whatever he can touch, all is intelligible tohim. It may not be seen, and it may not be known by anybody else, but everything iscommunicating. Once a person begins to communicate with nature, with art, he begins to havethe proof of this, for everything begins to speak. As the great poet of Persia, Sa’adi, said, ‘Everyleaf of the tree becomes a page of the book when once the heart is opened and it has learned toread.’ (Khan, 223)98

The practice of the Sanctuary of Self protocol reveals the soul in many tongues and symbologies.The soul is the translator of cosmic wisdom. Khan states, “Nothing can teach us how to read the realmeaning of symbols unless our own soul discloses to us their secrets” (Khan, 220). Weaving Jungian,Taoist, and Buddhist psychology into the therapeutic application of meditation, V. Walter Odajnyk, in hisbook Gathering the Light, explores how the inward focus of psychic energy activates complexes andarchetypes and develops a “temenos” (sacred space) that ultimately activates and aligns us in soulspace.In this writing, temenos is sanctuary, is The Studio.Our inward focus takes us into paradise and then leads us to union with the core self. Theinward reductive focus carries the Taoist to a “central core that is an aspect of the universal Tao”(Odajnyk, 144). The Tao is the noetic field.In the Tao, the principles of opposites, yin and yang, are united. In human beings, the yangprinciple is expressed as hsing (the essence of human nature) and yin as ming (life). Hsing is the spiritthat is the basis of all consciousness, while ming is the life force inherent in physical existence and indestiny or karma. Hsing, which forms the body, withdraws at birth and is replaced by hun, which is theperceiving spirit, which is consistent with Steiner’s model. Consciousness dwells in the heart, whileperception, in the West, dwells in the head. Ming is responsible for the course of one’s life and sinks intothe abdomen, becoming the personal soul (p’o).Many of my colleagues and clients are Buddhists, who do not seem to need a concept of soul. Atfirst, this may seem disturbing to the Christian mind. In many ways, though, Buddhism is a noeticscience. It converts the mind to essence. In Christianity, too, Paul admonishes, “Let the mind be in youthat is in Jesus.” However, as the Buddhist directs attention inward to their own Buddha nature, adynamic beingness emerges that has all the qualities of the “Jesus-mind.” In Christianity, we seek theinner Christ. “You cannot awaken to that which is active by being passive. You must become active toreach Soul consciousness. That is why I teach the active process of spiritual exercises as the key to SoulTranscendence” (John-Roger, 1998; 37).Reductive Focus is a soul gesture. The protocols work because they are universal and noncontroversialand allow the soul to express, to speak, and to have revelation. The soul incarnates intoimage as presence. So, as Thondup states, “The key is to feel the presence of what you are imagining”(Thondup, 45). When we witness or image reductively, the active catalyst is the incarnation of the soulinto the framework we present. When we actively observe ourselves, free of grasping, standing in anenergy field of light, the soul makes it so.Sacred CentersThe Sanctuary of Self protocols activate, transform, and align the nine sacred centers (chakras; seefollowing chart). These nine centers constitute an organizational matrix, which relates directly to ourexperience as spiritual beings in our physical and psychological incarnation. These centers constitute ouretheric nature. Seven of the centers correspond to nerve and endocrine functions in our physical body.As John-Roger states, the pituitary “is in the place that the Soul has its seat and the Soul energy gathers”99

(John-Roger, 1997; 90). When we use the sanctuary protocols, we index each sequence to the energy ofthe soul.Although the protocols are archetypal – a form through which the nature of life and structureemerge – content is infinite, as variable as there are human individuals. Because of this, you will developyour own teaching concerning the content and nature of each of these centers as it functions in yourconsciousness. Some aspects of your developing understanding will be universal, some idiosyncratic,and others transitional or background. Transitional teaching transports your understanding from oneconceptual location to another. In the context of the mastery protocols, background provides atemporary support, and encourages new connections and reflective associations.ConsiderationsBefore you explore the Sanctuary of Self protocols, the following considerations are important.To operate the protocols, you sequentially focus your attention on each sacred center. It isessential that your focus be reductive. Each center is an access to, or nexus with, a naturalspiritual form. As you hold your focus, the consciousness of the center presents itself to you.You need to honor the image as it appears, and allow it to elaborate.The beauty of this approach is that it is neutral. The consciousness in each center meets youappropriately according to how you approach it. Whatever your spiritual or religious orientation,the noetic field of a given center will engage you appropriately. The protocol will deepen yourunderstanding through the cooperation of your essence.It is the nature of each center to respond to your reductive focus. The response may be a senseof space, feeling, color, energy, image, symbol, or information. Once contact is made, allow andinvite the relationship to develop and energize. If you remain unsure of the contact, hold yourattention for three normal breaths. On future occasions, the engagement will be stronger, moredefinite, and more active, and a greater presence of soul and essence will emerge.When you link each center to the transpersonal center (above the head), a purifying,transformational mechanism is initiated and continues through your reductive witness. As youreductively attend to each center, you trigger an actualization process. By connecting eachcenter with the transcendental centers, the soul itself, and the holiness, is the guiding light. Thesoul essence is a nexus with the noetic field. The understanding of how to do this is in the centeritself, so as you engage, follow the guidance. As you bond with the sacredness in each center,understanding becomes increasingly synchronous. The nature of each center is to actualize ortransform all the creations within its domain. Your choice is to approach these centers so thatyou utilize the inherent gifts and minimize the creation of more content. You link each center to100

the transpersonal center through a multiple focus on the centers involved and a visualizing ofthe transfer of images to the transpersonal center.Infinity loops back onto itself, and eternity transcends itself. Each center has both potentials.Each center contains instinctive and acquired wisdom and understanding. Each center alsocarries distortion, addiction, and fantasy. You could spend an eternity sorting it all out withoutthe soul, or transpersonal and noetic guidance. You could follow the imagery deeper into itsstructure and travel laterally into the endless world of each center. This could be a distraction,because the nature of the center is never-ending, and it will continue to reflect back yourprojections and provide infinite entertainment for your interest. Strive to provide the menu ofphenomena that you request, or it could be a never-ending story. The archetypal level of eachcenter reflects back to you the images of your own projected wishes, desires, and incompletemanifestations. By journeying into each center through the authority of your ego (rather thanthrough the authority of soul), you are endlessly entertained by your own creation. By practicingthe sanctuary protocol, however, a spiritual process is initiated that transforms and restructuresthe expression and content of the center.Sanctuary of Self ProtocolUsing these protocols, you align in your soul-spaceand engage the noetic field. You do so by resourcingthe wisdom that is encoded in yourmystical nature. You are truly a microcosm. As youunlock the codes within, you access thecorresponding reality in the greater noetic field.Because this process activates the transformativepowers of your deep nature and releases atransformative process, your mind embarks on anirreversible course of conversion.I present these protocols as if I am guidingyou through them. When guiding yourself, there isa power to addressing and guiding yourself fromthe viewpoint of the observer. In the noeticapproach, perception provides a nexus for thespiritual reality to be present. For example,observing the light around you is a witness thatunfolds the light around you. When you guideyourself, experiment with addressing yourself as“you.” One way to do this is to record your voice asyou guide yourself.101

As you become practiced in the protocols, center into your peace and see the protocolsunfolding in your inner universe. I call this intentional observation. The particular content reveals itselfto you along the way. Always observe or place your attention reductively. Each center is a nexus to thenoetic field, contextualized according to the function of each center. It is as if a spiritual being resides ineach center.The nexus protocol works with three centers, including the transpersonal (above the head). Thenexus, symbol, love, relationship, creation, and life protocols activate the respective centers and alignthem with the transpersonal.Follow-upRepeat the following thirty-four steps of the Sanctuary of Self protocol once a day for thirty-two days.Thirty-two days is a subconscious cycle. Each time you do it, the images and quality of the experiencemay change. Take some time to reflect and journal prior to, and after, each repetition. You may find thatthere are many ramifications to doing the protocols, that reflect into other areas of your life. After thethirty-two days, discontinue doing the protocols for ten days; then resume the master protocols toenhance your regular spiritual practice.PreparationPrepare a comfortable place, and collect your journal and drawing materials. An 8½-by-11-inch journaland colored pencils are sufficient for drawing. Journaling is an important reflective element of theprotocol. It is grounding, resolving, transformative, and often revelatory. After each protocol, drawand/or journal based on your experience with that protocol.Sit comfortably, feet flat on the ground. Align your spine, and close your eyes. Your sense of thisencounter could be subtle. Give yourself permission to open your spiritual vision. The nine majorelements of the thirty-four steps of the Sanctuary of Self Protocol are: Nexus, Love, Symbol,Relationship, Creation, Life, Place, Space and Transcendental. Use the diagram above as a reference forthe Mastery Protocol.Nexus1. Begin with a prayer or invocation that invites the Holy Spirit or universal holiness to be presentfor the highest good.2. Observe yourself through your mind’s eye. See your body contained in an energy field. This mayappear as a spherical or egg-shaped space filled with light or color, encompassing your physicalbody. If you are not sure you are doing this, strengthen your intention and imagine it so. Theonly opening in the spherical structure is a small dot at the top. Surrender your physical bodyinto the center of this space.102

3. Place your attention on the center of your forehead, slightly above the ridge of your eyebrows,and experience the sensation of that focus on your forehead.4. Extend your reductive focus into the center of your head, hold your attention at that nexuspoint, and allow your intentional observation to be met by the spiritual nature of this place.5. Be aware of your attention being met by a sense, color, symbol, or image. Give permission forthe connection to enhance itself. If you are not aware of anything, take three breaths andcontinue.6. Become aware of the center at the top of your head, even touching it to enhance the sensation.Extend your reductive focus from the center of your head through the top of your head, andcontinue slowly above your head until you engage a presence.7. Be aware of your attention being met by a sense, color, symbol, or image. Give permission forthe connection to enhance itself. If you are not aware of anything, take three breaths andcontinue.8. While observing yourself, simultaneously hold your attention at all three centers – above yourhead, at the top of your head, and in the center of your head. Introduce any color, symbol, orimage that appeared in any of these centers, to the center above your head. One way to do thisis to visualize it in the transpersonal center.Love9. Continuing from Nexus, place your reductive focus in your heart and engage the spiritual formthat presents itself.10. While observing yourself, move your focus up through the center of your head, through the topof your head, and above your head. See the heart-center image join the other images aboveyour head.Symbol11. Continuing from Love, place your reductive focus in your throat, engaging the spiritualconsciousness that presents itself.12. Move your focus up through the center of your head, through the top of your head, and aboveyour head. Place the throat-center image into the field.Relationship13. Continuing from Symbol, place your reductive focus in the solar plexus, and engage the spiritualconsciousness that presents itself.14. Move your focus up through your heart, throat, center of your head, top of your head, andabove your head, and place the solar plexus image into that field.103

Creation15. Continuing from Relationship, place your reductive focus in your sacrum, and engage thespiritual consciousness that presents itself.16. Move your focus up through your solar plexus, heart, throat, center of your head, top of yourhead, and above your head, and place the sacrum-center image into that field.Life17. Continuing from Creation, place your reductive focus at the base of your spine, and engage thespiritual consciousness that presents itself.18. Move your focus up through your sacrum, solar plexus, heart, throat, center of your head, top ofyour head, and above your head, and place the image into that field.Place19. Continuing from Life, observe yourself contained in a field of energy with a golden ball of energyat, or encompassing, your feet.20. Place your reductive focus into that field and engage the spiritual presence that meets you.21. Move your focus up through the base of your spine, sacrum, solar plexus, heart, throat, centerof your head, top of your head, and above your head, and place the image into that field.Space22. Continuing from Place, observe your body contained in a spherical field of pink energy, whichincludes the golden ball at your feet and the small dot-shaped passage at the top.23. As the pink purifies your space, observe red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violetreflecting off the inside surface of the sphere.24. As you observe each color, observe the flow of energy circulating through all of the centers andany images that may appear.25. Continue this activity for twelve normal breaths.Transcendental26. Observe yourself for three breaths.27. Place your reductive focus on the dot at the top of your space (Taoists call this the leap into thegreat emptiness). Engage the spiritual form that meets you.28. Continue the reductive focus, engaging with this spiritual form for three breaths.29. Move your awareness with that form; surrender to its movement.104

30. Open your spiritual vision. Give yourself permission to respond to the spiritual form, and give itpermission to guide you into whatever reality you are ready to experience for your highestgood.31. After a while, find your awareness returning to the dot-shaped passage at the top of your space.Bring an awareness of any color, image, or symbol.32. Pass through that point, and observe your awareness filling your space.33. Open your eyes, journal, and draw.MANDALAThe Sanctuary of Self Protocol has the dual purpose of personaltransformation and revealing your symbolic mystery teaching.The mystery unfolds as an intrinsic element of thetransformational process. We can supercharge this processthrough creating symbolic mandala drawings. We begin bymaking sketches of the images that appear during the protocol. Irecommend using colored pencils or oil pastels.After each session, sketch a crown mandala. At eachstep, you are asked to bring images or impressions from eachcenter into the transpersonal center. Making a mandala of theseimages enhances the alchemical impact. I suggest a form ofarranging the images so that the transpersonal image is in thecenter and the other images are arranged around it. Theprevious image illustrates this approach. However, your innermystery may suggest a different approach.Radical Witness ProtocolRadical Witness Protocol is a special application of the Sanctuary of Self. By aligning, as a processof holiness, through the Sanctuary of Self protocols and extending your reductive observation, youextend permission for the holiness to emerge in the midst of your activity and move as a transformationwithin it. It is an application of the Sanctuary: of being in the world and not of it. Your spiritual presence,reductively held, is very powerful.1. Remember, reduction means that you deconstruct any stake in the outcome or any belief youhave about the activity.2. Align yourself with the core intentionality of the individual or group, for the highest good.3. Observe yourself in the context.105

4. You are witnessing and celebrating the divine as the expression of the individuals you areobserving. The implications and potential for its application to social transformation areinspiring and far-reaching.In the 1960s, I was involved in the civil rights movement in the southern United States. Though Iwas never in a demonstration where violence occurred, nonviolent, direct action was a central strategy.I was in one demonstration in Yazoo, Mississippi, in which our group was tear-gassed and dispersed.Surprisingly, I did not experience it as violent in intent, even though at the time the experience of beinggassed was extremely harassing. When my best efforts at withstanding the gas had failed and I wastotally helpless, a state trooper kindly took my arm and said, “Come on, lad.” He escorted me out of therange of the fumes and out of the city park we were occupying. Residents in the neighborhood tooksome of us in and allowed us to wash off the residue. Their intent was to disperse us, and furtherconfrontation was not sought.As a teenager, earlier in the ‘50s, I had two encounters in which my instincts took me into astate of calm in the face of mortal threat. Once, at a party, I was threatened with a knife to my throat.For some reason, I entered into an inner peace and addressed the gentleman with respect. Heappeared to lose interest in harming, and we went our respective ways. The other incident was when Iwent to a party in Watts, Los Angeles, with a couple of my friends. We were separated for awhile, so, asthe only white person, I stood out. An angry young man approached me, clearly ready to do me harm.Again, I found myself in a calm center of peace and spoke to him calmly and with respect, and herelaxed. My two friends returned to speak up for me, and we left.The strategy of nonviolent, direct action means that when you do not resist someone who isharming or wants to harm you, the goodness in that person is confronted, stirring a moraltransformation in that individual and those who see the violent act. Another level of this phenomenon isthat the nonviolent demonstration initiates a popular discussion that includes self-reflection that goesbeyond the outrage. It causes a deep reflection on our capacity to be harmful to each other andourselves. Once the obvious inhumanity is resolved, people seem to lose interest in violence as atransformational strategy. Another incident that greatly impressed me was an interview I saw ontelevision with a woman who had survived the Rwanda massacre. It’s been awhile, so I may not get itexactly right. She reported that a man approached her with a machete, poised to strike. She began topray inwardly that God show him who he is. She focused on this so intently that all faded but the two ofthem and the light; there was no fear. He faltered. She continued to pray. He faltered again, thenstopped and just stood there for a moment. Soon, he turned and walked away, dropping his machete ashort distance away. She said she felt the entire mood shift at that point and soon the genocide wasover.A variation of this is the Huna approach: ho'oponopono. Ho’oponopono means to resolve, ormake right, through living love. Essentially, when you are aware of pending confrontation, or areconfronted, you meet the person inside of you and say inwardly, “I am so sorry and I love you and Iforgive myself.” Essentially, you are taking total responsibility for your reality: “I am so sorry that mykarma required you to be in my reality in this way. I love you, and I forgive myself for any lifetime, or anylifetime of my ancestors, where I committed the same actions.”106

Some feel that a strategy of potentially violent confrontation is necessary: “I will look you in theeye with the determination to use any means necessary to stop you from harming me or those I standfor.” When this tactic is intended to stop the harm, it too may be linked to nonviolence. When violenceis intended as a means of domination or revenge, it is energetically different from a willingness to useforce to stop harm or to use nonviolence to transform domination. The willingness to use force tocounter transgression often precludes the need for force. Both require that you respect your adversariesat a level they can understand, and thereby, they learn to respect you. When this occurs, mediation ispossible. With mediation, holiness can be present.Radical Witness goes further than nonviolence or empowered confrontation. Nonviolence is theabsence of violence. Empowered confrontation is the willingness to fight, absent the need to fight. Bothtake a position toward behavior, belief, or circumstance. Radical Witness views any situation, behavioror belief as the divine or God, expressing as such. It is not a philosophical action. The witnessing is notfrom a belief that we “ought to,” or from any belief. It is from a judgment-free observation of the samedeep holiness of another human, being expressed in peculiar ways.The movie, Field of Dreams, comes to mind. To reiterate the storyline, a farmer hears a whisperin his cornfield that says, “Build it, and they will come.” This sends the farmer on a journey thateventually results in his building a lighted baseball field in the middle of his Iowa cornfield. He almostloses the farm to creditors, but then the magic happens. Baseball players who had passed over emergefrom the cornfield to play ball. The “bad guys” (those who wanted to foreclose) are converted. Peopledrive from great distances to watch the games.The farmer acted radically. Despite all the best advice against his behavior, he trusted the voiceand growing vision within him. He created a place, a nexus that bridged the dimensions – a place whereplayers could fulfill incomplete dreams and those watching could vicariously complete their owndreams. It was a sanctuary.My son played baseball. He was very good, and I cared deeply for his success and the success ofhis team. In the city league, the 13-and 14-year-olds played together. Each player was on the team fortwo years.The first year he was on the team, there was a lot of dissension among players. The head coachhad favorites, which bordered on cruelty to my son. Disrespectful players were left in the game, and themorale of the team was awful. I found myself getting pulled into the energy of the team and going homefrom games feeling poorly. During one of the games, I prayed and held the Light for the difficulties. Iwanted, even willed, the team to do better.The next year, the assistant coach became the coach and the difficult players moved on, leavingsome of the favored players. The new coach respected all the players, encouraged them to do their best,gave excellent guidance, and made the game fun. The season began with the team playing well everyother game. I found myself pulled into the turmoil with my viewpoint.Then, I decided to change my viewpoint. First, I began focusing on, “You can do better.” I wenthome feeling a little better. The team did okay but continued to play poorly at times. One evening, myaccumulated history came into a new focus – voices in the cornfield, perhaps. I decided to align myselfwith the highest holiness I could engage and observe myself in a space of light, in a timeless dimension.That felt great. Then, I put aside all my hopes for any outcome for my son and the team, and impeccably107

and literally observed the game as God playing baseball. The magic began. From my therapy practice,I’ve developed a keen ability to perceive the inner conflicts of my clients. As I observed God pitch toGod, up-to-bat for the opposing team, I began to see turmoil arise within the pitcher. It visibly affectedhis pitching. Too much of his self-esteem depended on performing. I noticed other players the sameway, and I saw the opposing coach as being similar in temperament to our team’s old coach. Hisexasperation mounted as his team began to lose, and our team became smoother.The foundation and witness held by our coach had transformed most of the inner turmoil andconflict of our players. When God emerged in them to play ball, there were fewer conflicts to resolve.The holiness had no opposition. Evidently, each team they met after that had more dissension withinthem. Our team won all the rest of their games in a beautiful way, and I experienced euphoriathroughout most of the games. It was not because my son and his team did well. It was because of thestate of consciousness that I was in. By observing myself in a holy space in divine alignment, andwatching God play baseball, the game became a context for the fulfillment of the deepest intentionwithin all the participants for the highest good. They won because our coach had created a foundationof respect, trust, and skill. The team was enabled because I chose Radical Witness. There is somethingintrinsic in holiness observing holiness that makes it so. I could call it soul power. The baseball fieldbecame a sanctuary.Since then, I have applied the Radical Witness Protocol to other situations and the revelationcontinues. Try reductively observing God expressing as your son or daughter, your boss, or someone youfeel threatened by. Watch what happens. Use an accelerated version of the Sanctuary of Self protocolsto align and form your holy space. (As you practice the protocols, this step happens quickly and easily.)1. Observe yourself in a timeless dimension, in a space filled with light and grace. (A relaxedattentiveness facilitates this step. You view yourself as so present that you sense yourself in aslightly different, no-time dimension, in relationship to what is going on around you.)2. Observe yourself in your aligned space and watch the divine do whatever it does.3. Continue the activity as long as you want to or as long as you do. (You might like it so well that itbecomes a perpetual state.)4. Notice the details of people’s actions, expressions and manner. (This is an observational, ratherthan evaluative and analytical, process.)5. When it is appropriate, reflect and journal about your experience as a way to deepen yourunderstanding.We are so used to acting out of investment and agendas that Radical Witness is very deconstructive forour ego. In return for less ego, we have more grace and success. Evidently, we are all meant to be holyand to “win.” Radical Witness is a divine catalyst.PURIFYING WITNESS PROTOCOLPurifying Witness Protocol is an application of Radical Witness. As a teen, I noticed that,periodically, I would feel intensely ill for a few minutes, and then it would mysteriously disappear. At the108

time, I was unknowingly transmuting negativity and physical disturbance from those around me. Overthe past forty years of healing work, I have had various degrees of success with supporting my healthwhile becoming increasingly more effective in my practice. At times, I felt terrible from the residue ofmy work. As the energy released, I would feel wonderful. Recently, I was spending the evening clearingmyself and feeling bad. I had felt worse in these situations. It occurred to me that “watching God playbaseball” might have some application. I aligned myself, observed myself in a field of pink energy, andlet go of any other focus or concern. Soon, I felt a subtle shift as if I were in a different space dimensionthan the room I was in. My next experience was like the sun burning off a dense fog. Rather than feelingthe energy release or move, it just simply was gone. The dynamic of radically observing myself in a spaceof pink energy and loving myself neutralized the negative energy. As I have gained experience with thistechnique, modifications have occurred. Sometimes the color is different. Other times, the emphasis ison the observation, while the nexus in the head and transpersonal center form a vortex into thetranscendental center. Often, as I observe, I am cocooned in living love, which surrounds and fills mybody.In summary, the protocol follows these steps:1. Use an accelerated form of the Sanctuary of Self Protocol to align and set your space.2. Continue to reductively observe yourself in a space of pink energy, accessing your unconditionalloving for yourself.3. Continue as long as is necessary.This protocol appears to have broader application as an ongoing practice. It is like preventivemedicine. I often use it with the inclusion of the golden light at my feet. Recently, I combined theprotocol with walking in the forest. It was wonderful. By the time I finished, I had the sensation ofwalking on sacred ground and felt that my legs were a gift of the Earth so that we might walk upon it.MissionBy conducting yourself in terms of the Sanctuary of Self protocols, you amplify and accelerate yourtransformation and noetic conversion. The noetic field incorporates and transcends the ceiling of thereflective, archetypal level. Mystics call the far periphery of the archetypal void the “cosmic mirror.”Would-be “avatars” admire themselves in it and call it the Face of God. The “real” face is beyondreflection. This is the shadow of archetypal psychology. While aiding you in your refinement andactualization, it remains reflective and defines the soul as the self-conscious confluence of archetypalforces. The archetypal path is refining and, to a degree, empowering, holding you to the limits of its ownrealm, as it should. It holds the form of the created universe. John represented a liberating force, whosemission was to transcend the limitations of the avatar (archetypal) approach and transport you into thehigher realms of what he called the “Christ.” It is actually a void, a perceptual nothingness. When youapproach this inner zone, your practice of soul alignment pays off. Your conscious sense of yourself as adivine essence becomes a ship that carries you across the void and into the Holy City. John and his109

associates intended to end the domination of the human spirit and embrace the original intention thatwe are all an individualized expression of the universal holiness.There are holy, masterful teachers, and their purpose is to remind you, to give you liberatingadvice, and to assist you in your fulfillment. Their guidance and the amplification of their energy fieldcan be extremely beneficial. They have presented their message and practices through every lineage onthe planet, only to be supplanted by those who prefer dogma and domination to the revelation ofexperience. There is some grace in the remembrance of these masters, and value in developing anattunement to the sources they represent. However, the true teacher reflects you back to the teacherwithin you, guiding you to resource you sense of self out of your own soul, your Buddha nature. To relyon the teacher for your sense of hope and goodness is a temporary arrangement, unless the teacherneeds you to know that they are a teacher. Then, they want to be your source for the purpose ofmaintaining their principality. Or course, if the teacher is gone and the inheritors of the lineage are incharge, they also may need you to believe that your source is through the designated teacher so thatthey can continue to manage and use your spiritual resources through the belief system they want youto adhere to. If that is going on, be assured, the approach is based on fear. The true teaching is lovebased.Spiritual teachers are here to help us. Some have keys for us. Our mastery is interwoven withthese individuals in a cooperative alliance. Noetic mastery intrinsically requires that each of our mindsact from the center of our own essence, dissolving any tendency to be against the essence of others.Your use of the Sanctuary of Self protocols may take you into a different symbology than that ofJohn. There are many paths to the Holy City. The Holy City calls you home.110

Chapter EightMYSTICAL MARRIAGECarl Jung believed that a powerful aspect of individuation (his term forenlightenment) was to integrate the relationship between the animus and anima, theinner male and female. Our inner male and female have a reflective counterpart thatapproaches us through our relationships. In my experience, an essential element ofresolving relationship issues is for us to first seek a full relationship with the innerbeloved. The integrated and resolved spiritual relationship then reflects in the outerpersonal relationship. Our union with the inner beloved is one expression of themystical marriage.Jung believed that whatever gender we express physically, we have areflexive gender opposite. We live in a society that historically has not sanctionedindividuals who did not meet the role expectations of their gender. This is changing insome parts of the world. However, it is an archetypal phenomenon. All humanityshares the same collective consciousness. How we resolve the issues within usinteracts with how we resolve cultural and social issues globally.Apparently, we all have degrees of male and female qualities that varypsychologically, biologically, and spiritually. For example, in the Huna three-selvesmodel, the basic self is usually the same gender as the physical body, but not always.Some people have more than one basic self, and these can be of either gender.Similar issues are evident in the sub-personalities discussed in Psychosynthesis. As webecome more secure and resolved in our unique gender balance, inner alchemicalprocesses occur that in the ancient mysteries were called the mystical marriage. Weunderstand the mystical marriage as a union with our soul, a marriage to God or anintegration of opposites. Typically, we attempt to deal with our gender (physical andsymbolic) through either conflict and domination or loving relationships andcooperation. In the mystical marriage, the opposites are balanced through arelationship with the whole, not through manipulation of the polarities.In his mystery school at Crotona, Pythagoras taught that all creationemanates from the relationship of male and female. He and his wife were colleaguesin teaching the male and female approach to wisdom. Pythagoras had a deepunderstanding of the dynamic of male and female as archetypal polarities with theprimal, or cosmic, person. Regardless of the level of creation, the interaction of maleand female is the vehicle of manifestation and transcendence. The Tao symbolizesthe unfolding and enfolding universe. The yin and yang are the vehicle ofmanifestation through distinction and become a vehicle of transcendence throughunification. The mystical marriage is a trinity of male, female, and the transcendentalunity of the two.111

Integration of OppositesThe ancients worked with the initiation of the mystical marriage in a variety of ways, depending on thecultural context and their metaphysical understanding. The results were all similar: greater balance,alignment, integration, abundance and grace. The pattern always involves the golden principle: the smallpart is to the large part as the large part is to the whole. The mystical marriage is a variation of the innermerging of soul with source, or the integration of male and female within us. The Sufi regards their soulas the beloved, which invites a journey inward, a soul-transcendence, a going home. The soul is the innerform of the Saint, or teacher. The teaher relfects to soul. The sense of home epresses outwardly as theabode, the sanctuary of the saint. In terms of the Mandala Process, The Studio. A dance may occur inwhich the inner master, the soul, the saint are intrwoven andmerge in a way tha is seemless. The soul is our beloved; then, aswe are our soul, the heart of God is the beloved. We marryourselves, and then become the “bridegroom,” as Jesus said,and we marry the Christ or God. Whatever lineage, the call is aninvitation from the beloved to join the mystical marriage.From a Jungian perspective, the mystical marriage is theintegration of opposites, the animus and anima. Oppositescould imply adversity, so we could use the phrase integration ofcomplements. As this integration occurs, we ascend to a greaterself. The integration of opposites yields a higher level offunctioning. This means a greater spiritual awareness and also agreater degree of creativity. Whether we are directing ourattention to the creative, ascending or transcendent function, we must first move into a thetabrainwave, inner temple, or soul-centered alignment. We do this in many ways. One of the fastest isthrough a meditative technique or guided imagery. In quantum physics terms, we place our awarenessin the implicate order. This is the realm of non-local causality. The local reality is the dimension uponwhich we are having an effect. This enables us to have creative impact on the particle formations ofreality.The archetype of the mystical marraige goes further than the integration or union of opposites,as Jung describes. In the ancient wisdoms, the mystical marriage was marriage or union with God orwith All That Is. This varies from the marriage of opposites in an interesting way. Whereas in themarriage of opposites, the transcendent consciousness facilitates the union. In the union, we mergewith the transcendental beloved, as union with God, a union with all. When a couple resolves theirissues by turning to the inner beloved, it relieves the partners of any agenda, or projection, that theyshould compensate for each other‘s lacks, and bases the relationship on the overflow from the innermarriage. Spiritual writings often refer to us as one prepared to meet our beloved. We await ourbeloved and do not know when she or he will arrive, so we must be ready and not waver. As fulfillment112

occurs inwardly, our outer reality reflects the internal alchemy. Turning to the inner marriage actuallymakes possible fulfilling deep intimacy with another.Dweller on the ThresholdIn the ancient mysteries, the aspiring initiate had to face the dwellers on the threshold on the way tofind the beloved. In Jungian terms, this is the shadow, which we face through our waking lives andthrough dreams. The first dweller is a composite archetype of all of the limiting beliefs, destructive acts,and degenerate thoughts and deeds – real or imaged – that we created, promoted, or allowed. Thiscomposite also includes beliefs from the collective unconscious and our ancestors. The second dweller isthe archetype of composite good. The key here is that when we believe we are good for doing andthinking good deeds, or when we are told we are good for behaving in certain ways, we deny our truespiritual nature. The first dweller is based on a fear of what we don’t have and the econd is based on afear of what we are not. So, the first test is all of our incrminations, and the second is all of our glamour.The initiation occurs when we are strongly centered in our inherent goodness, or holiness, and are notswayed by false lack or glamour. We are no longer ego-centered. When we are soul-centered, wesynthesize the good and bad into the white gold of our inherent good.The dwellers are the shadow of the mystical marriage. The dwellers are imposters that advise,direct and coerce relationships that are other than soul-centered. All marriages appear to have ashadow and a purpose. For the soul, marriage appears to have procreative, transformative, andactualizing purposes. Relationship can reflect and transform our worst fears. In the outer marriage, ourunclaimed virtue is projected onto our partner, wanting them to make up for our lacks. As loveprogresses, we claim our shadow, and center in our loving. In the act of centering in our loving, we turnto the inner beloved. Transforming shadow is implicit in the mystical marriage.Marriage is union. Activating our Light Body and awakening to the Christ, Buddha or Prushapromotes transformation by illuminating our shadow. The purpose is to extract our sense and definitionof self from shadow. That is the purification that prepares us. As long as self is embedded in shadow, weare not free to merge with the light. In this sense, shadow may not appear dark. Shadow is finally thereflection of our light in the mirror of creation. To transcend this illusion, we learn to listen to the “call ofthe beloved” from “beyond the veil.” The Sound Current Masters call the passage the Rukmani Canal. Itis a vortex between the un-manifest and manifest realities. It is the passage home. So we get married,live in grace and then go home.When we bring light, or higher consciousness, into our lower consciousness, the unresolved fearand glamour are pushed to the surface. When we are unprepared, the upsurge of content can be toooverwhelming, and we can lose ourselves. Long or short-term psychosis can occur. Improper use (ifthere is a proper use) of consciousness-altering drugs can tear open the unconscious. For these reasons,the foundation steps are essential. Even with preparation, the light stirs the shadow and accelerates theinternal and external life challenges, and accelerates our transformational opportunities.113

Meditation One: Integration of Composite Good and Bad1. Sit comfortably and reach up to higher consciousness and ask for the presence of thehighest consciousness to surround and hold you, or ask for the spiritual light to surroundyou. Take a deep breath and drop more fully into the place of connectedness.2. Review the times when you judged, or believed you were bad, or less, for whathappened or injured yourself or others. Review times when you created, promoted orallowed hurt or domination of conflict. With each thing that comes to mind, forgiveyourself. Ask others to forgive you.3. Review the times when you believed you were good or became prideful because ofappearances. Review the times when you used glamour, prestige or being right tobolster your ego or to compensate for your lack of self esteem. With each thing thatcomes to mind, forgive your yourself. Ask others to forgive you.4. Visualize a golden triangle in front of you, with the base toward the floor and the apextoward the ceiling or sky.5. Visualize your composite bad as an image or symbol and place it on one lower corner ofthe triangle.6. Visualize your composite good as an image or symbol and place it on the other lowercorner.7. Let go of any agenda or imagined outcome and watch the two symbols ascend the sidesof the triangle. Watch the image morph as they ascend.8. When the images meet at the top, watch them merge, morph and transform. Letyourself go and travel with the process or movement.9. After awhile, gently open your eyes and make a drawing of your experience.Meditation Two: Integration of Male and Female1. Sit comfortably and reach up to higher consciousness and ask for the presence of thehighest consciousness to surround and hold you, or ask for the spiritual light to surroundyou. Take a deep breath and drop more fully into the place of connectedness.2. Review any beliefs or judgements that you have held concerning your male or femalequalities, and sexual or gender relationships. Forgive youself for each of them. If otherswere involved, ask their forgiveness.3. Visualize a golden triangle in front of you, with the base toward the floor and the apextoward the ceiling or sky.4. Visualize your male nature or anima as a symbol or image and place it on one lowercorner of the triangle.114

5. Visualize your female nature or animus as a symbol or image and place it on the otherlower corner of the triangle.6. Let go of any agenda or imagined outcome and watch the two symbols ascend the sidesof the triangle. Watch the images morph as they ascend.7. When the images meet at the top, watch them merge, morph and transform. Letyourself go and travel with the process or movement.8. After awhile, gently open your eyes and make a drawing of your experience.Internalized Parental TheologyThe idea for this protocol came from one of my teachers, Ellavivian Power. She used it in her approachto Noetic Field Balancing. We have an archetypal need for an effective theology congruent with Self. Ourfirst theology is formed by our developmental experience with our parents. Once formed and forgotten,it shapes our psychological relationship with Divine Source, God, Universal Holiness, etc. The purpose ofthis exercise is to understand and transform the archetype of our internalized parental-based theology,at least in its limiting aspects. Articulation promotes transformation. Transformation facilitates personalrelationship with the “All Parent.” Also, consider that our parental theology reflects into our relationshipwith others, such as people in authority and our primary relationships.When we turn inward to engage our center, and seek to connect with higher consciousnessthrough our center, we first encounter our internalized parental theology. This archetype behavessomewhat like the dweller archetype. In that sense, it is also shadow, an imposter father/mother god.The psychological structure of the internalized parental theology shapes our perception and informs oursense of holiness and connection to spirit. In accordance with our transformational imperative toactualize, we project the now-unconscious parental theology onto our relationships with others. In a likemanner, motivated by our soul‘s urge to return home, we project the same images onto higherconsciousness, thus forming our beliefs about God. This all occurs a priori to our exposure to thereligions and spiritual teachings available in our culture. In that way, it becomes an overlay on anyreligion or religious pursuit. Going further with this reasoning, the internalized parental theologyeventually becomes institutionalized religion—so much for the direct transmission of the Great Ones.Internalized Parental Theology Protocol1. Use the following statements to describe your childhood experience with your mother andfather. Write a succinct statement for each one. In your responses, include father’s or mother’sself-concept, society, community, ethnicity, religion, politics, work, extended family, friends, etc.Positive relationship of my father to himself.Negative relationship of my father to himself.Positive relationship of my father to me.115

Negative relationship of my father to me.Positive relationship of my mother to herself.Negative relationship of my mother to herself.Positive relationship of my mother to me.Negative relationship of my mother to me.Negative relationship of my mother and father to each other.Positive relationship of my mother and father to each other.Example:My father provided well for us in terms of shelter, food and clothing, but was not intimate andwas often aloof. He wanted me to do well. When he helped me, it was more often to impress mewith what he knew, rather than to be concerned with supporting me. He was attentive when Ineeded first aid.My mother was always present for me, but usually needy and smothering, like her worthdepended on me needing her. She was very healing, when I was sick, and helpful and supportivewith advice and school work.My father and mother liked to play bridge with friends, so we regularly played with the childrenof the other parents. My mother was left to fend for herself with us, while my father was away.They fought a lot and were divorced. My father was a loner and had few friends. He neverpursued his dreams and felt persecuted at work.My father followed his bliss, and was financially successful.My mother was rarely at home and was successful in business and with friends.Because of ethnicity, my father and mother were at a disadvantage. They went to church, wherethey found acceptance and status.2. Re-write the previous descriptions, substituting “Father God” for “Father” and substituting“Mother God” for “Mother.” Each statement being one of the following:Positive relationship of Father God to himself.Negative relationship of Father God to himself.Positive relationship of Father God to me.Negative relationship of Father God to me.Negative relationship of Mother God to herself.Positive relationship of Mother God to me.Positive relationship of Mother and Father God to each other.116

Example:Father God provides well for me in terms of shelter, food and clothing, but he is not intimate andis often aloof. He wants me to do well. When he helps me it is more often to impress me withwhat he knows, rather than out of concern for supporting me. He is attentive when I have aphysical emergency and need first aid.Mother God is present for me, but is usually needy and smothering, like she has meaningbecause I need her. She is very healing, when I am sick, and helpful and supportive with advicewhen I am trying to learn. It makes me feel like I have no intrinsic value.Father God and Mother God have special friends and other deities that they like to socialize with.I am not one of those, but I am allowed to play with the other children of God. Most of the timeFather God is off doing other things, far away, and Mother God is left to fend for herself, and sheneeds me to make her important. Father God and Mother God don’t like each other and are incompetition. It makes me feel betrayed and that Father God and Mother God are too selfabsorbedto love me.Father God was distant, cold, and unfriendly and was uninspiring. He was outcast andpersecuted through his Son. Father is blissful and abundant.Mother God is not around much, but is a very successful god, and other gods like her.Because of ethnicity, Father God and Mother God are handicapped; however, at church they areliked and important.3. Explore your beliefs about God in terms of part 1 and 2 of this protocol.Is there any way you would like to restructure your understanding of yourself, what God is, orthe nature of your relationship to God, in a truthful and effective way that is congruent with who youare? There may be positive aspects of your parental theology that you want to incorporate in a newunderstanding. In any case, deconstruct the psychological matrix of your parental theology and explorenew possibilities. You may want to journal or draw as a continuation of this process. If there are waysyou judged yourself or others based on your parental theology, forgive yourself.4. Write your liberating theology.LineageLineage is an expression of inheritance. We are dynamic beings that gain our individuation throughcoalescing elements of lineage. As soul, we are a lineage of a unique, divine unfoldment. As a geneticbeing, we are a selective commingling of the gene pools of father and mother. Through themorphogenetic field of our conception and our developmental experience, we are a lineage of ourparents, family, community, nation, geographic location and diet. As personalities, we are a lineage ofour basic and high selves. With all of this, it is surprising that we manage to have an organized sense of117

self. If we were haphazardly glued together, this might be too great a challenge. Instead, we actualizethrough a blending of developmental stages that allow the various energy dimensions to unfold as amore or less coherent expression. Our evolution reflects the mastery of this process. In the chapter SoulJourney, in Foot Prints of Eternity, I elaborate on Steiner’s model of incarnating through thedevelopmental cycles.In this exercise, we will explore the archetypal Akasha of our parents. The purpose is to becomeaware of the morphogenetic carry-over from their consciousness into ours.1. Journey into your inner mystery school. After greeting the inner teacher, go to the family lineageportal.2. Journey to a time just before your conception; locate your father. Locate his body and then seehis consciousness as an orb of light. This orb surrounds his body and carries the compositeinformation of his self, encoding his personality, talents, karma, and spiritual attributes. Takeyour time, moving through his consciousness and engaging the various aspects of his nature.Move to the physical level and see what he is doing. Has he met your mother, yet? What are hisconcerns, hopes, dreams, and ambitions?3. Now look for your mother. Find her body, and then see her as an orb of energy. This orbsurrounds her body and carries the composite information encoding her personality, talents,karma, and spiritual attributes. Take your time moving through her consciousness and engagingthe various aspects of her nature. Move to the physical level and see what she is doing. Has shemet your father, yet? What are her concerns, hopes, dreams, and ambitions?4. Follow them until the moment of your conception. What were their circumstances, attitudesand motives?5. Experience the confluence of your consciousness and that of your parents at the exact momentof your conception. Command that your conception be filled with living love.6. Move forward in time, through gestation and your birth. What were the challenges facing yourmother and father? What were the circumstances of your birth?7. Move from your inner mystery school, open your eyes and make a drawing of your experience.Gender Self ConceptWe are born with a blank slate in the sense that even our karma meets us as if it is new. When karmicevents occur, we have choice. Do we choose our true self, or take another spin at the karmic wheel? Anaspect of this development involves integration into our culture and finding our way as an individual.We discussed how we do this in terms of good and bad, parental theology and lineage. Another aspectof this is the way in which we build our self-concept in terms of gender. We experience subtle and notso-subtleforces that coach how we build gender beliefs. Some of these beliefs flow naturally out of ourgenetic and hormonal experience and we secure healthy attitudes. Some aspects of gender arehardwired. You might say that is obvious. When the hardwiring presents a primary gender that is onesex and a secondary gender that is the opposite sex, it is not so obvious.118

We all have injuries and confusion to some extent. Someone always has a program for us. Someof these are exploitive: be the man or woman I always wanted to be, be an object of my gratification,behave like a man, act like a lady, look like the person in the advertisement. Examples are endless. Ahelpful practice is to review our self-judgments and beliefs based on gender, looking for those thatgenuinely limit, injure, or distort our true sense of self. For our current purposes, review the followingstatements and forgive yourself for those beliefs and judgments that distort your healthy gender selfconcept.Review these types of events and forgive yourself where appropriate. Take some time toreflect afterward and make a drawing.Family:Did your family have prescribed behavior, dress, and attitudes based on gender?Were the aspirations different for boys and girls?Were there specific things you wanted to do, or ways you felt, that were judged asinappropriate as a boy or a girl?Were you punished or not sanctioned because you behaved contrary to a standard for beingmasculine or feminine?Did you experience expectations based on your gender?Peer Group:Were you ostracized because of your physical appearance in terms of gender stereotype?Did you judge yourself or were you judged because of standards of dress or sexiness based ongender?Did you judge yourself or were you judged because of your ethics or morals based on gender orsexuality?Did you judge yourself or were you judged because of your intelligence, athletic talent, orcompetitiveness in terms of gender?Trauma:Were you ever physically or psychologically molested or abused?Did you ever think, or were you encouraged to think, that men should dominate and womenshould submit?These questions facilitate inquiry and exploration. Any time you judge yourself because of externalbeliefs or standards based on gender, you may distort your male/female balance, and requiretransformation. Gender is integral to the actualization of our sexual/creative nature.119

Balancing Brain HemispheresIn The Power of Limits, we used the Golden Triangle Protocol to integrate opposites through the powerof dinergy. A derivation of this principle balances the hemispheres of the brain. In this case, we use thepattern of infinity. We will further explore brain hemisphere anatomy in the chapter on labyrinths. Thisprotocol came from Tom Kenyon’s Hathor teachings. The Hathors live in the fifth dimension. Theircollective love is a force in the changing of the frequency of planet earth. This love invites humanity toparticipate in ascension. They were also active in the mystery teachings of Isis in ancient Egypt.(For three minutes at each step, use sound, by playing a recording of toning or Kenyons music InfinitePool or other compatible music.)1. Imagine an infinity symbol, with the crossing lines in the center of your head and the loops inyour brain hemispheres.2. Trace the pattern to the left, following the two loops, using a little ball of light.3. Trace the pattern to the right, following the two loops.4. Bring your attention to the center of your head, focusing on the center of the brain alone.5. Take your awareness to your physical heart and connect to the center of your head.6. Bring your attention again to your head center.7. Meditate on this for twelve minutes.8. Make a drawing.White Gold AlchemyAnother contribution from Tom Keyon that I feel is appropriate is his Hathor White Gold Meditation.This meditation is intended to strengthen our balance and center in the midst of social, economic,political and, perhaps, geological and environmental chaos. By so doing, we can lift above the immediatechallenges and fortify ourselves and humanity for imminent challenges. We live in a critical transitionthat promises to result in a higher octave of life experience for humanity on planet Earth. The silver andgold energy of white gold are specific to our active and receptive natures. They are symbolized by thesun and moon, the ida and pengali. The Ajna, or brow chakra, is an inch into the head between the eyes.At its right side is a small sun and on the left side is a small moon. The sun is the gold energy and themoon is the silver energy. These energies can be seen as a liquid light that follows the circuitry of the Kaat the prompting of our love and will. The White Gold formed by these energies represents thedistillation of our masculine and feminine circuits. The meditation here is a direct quote from TomKenyon’s website. with the addition of numbering for each step of the protocol(http://tomkenyon.com/whitegold.html).To do the meditation, sit or lie down, as is indicated.120

1. Close the eyes and find a breathing pattern that is very comfortable and relaxing, letting yourselfrelax into each exhale. You may find it helpful to play music that is relaxing for you and thatallows you to turn your awareness inside. ...However, it [music] is not absolutely necessary forthe meditation to be effective. The tones simply enhance the effects.2. As one inhales, draw the gold light of the sun from the Ajna/pituitary area, about an inch behindthe bridge of the nose. Move it up, into the center of the head, into the pineal gland. As youexhale, let this gold energy circulate through the brain and move down in the spine to theMuladhara, the base chakra.3. On the next breath, you simply draw the silver light from the moon, in the Ajna/pituitary center,up into the center of the head, the pineal gland.4. On the third breath, you draw both gold and silver light from the sun and moon together, up intothe pineal gland, where they meet and are transformed into the White Gold.5. Then on the exhale, as before, you allow the White Gold to circulate through the brain, down thespine, and to the Muladhara, or base chakra. This is one complete cycle.I suggest that you reapeate the above process at least three more times, in order to experience thealchemical effectsOn the exhale, let the silver light circulate through the brain, down the spine into the Muladhara,the base chakra, or the White Gold. This will only take a few minutes, but will have immense positivebenefits. Try it before your other meditations, and you will discover that they are deeply enhanced. As ameditation on its own, I suggest repeating this procedure for about ten minutes and then resting for afew minutes afterwards.Kenyon recommends that you do this alchemical process on a regular basis: “Doing this on aregular basis will greatly enhance your ability to deal with chaos, through its balancing effects. You willalso find your general intelligence and creativity increasing, as well as your subtle intuitive abilities. All ofthe effects occur as a simple result of activating and balancing the internal Solar and Lunar circuits.”ManifestationMarriage means many things to many people. Certainly, I attest that the inner marriage, for me, reflectsthe outer marriage. The converse appears equally true, that the state of our marriage to another reflectsour inner marriage. Traditionally, a married couple looks to each other for balance in their lives. Oftenthis is taken to mean looking to the other for our sense of worth, love, belonging, and adequacy. Thisputs a tremendous burden on the other. In this type of relationship, the other person is asked, oftendemanded, to be our spirituality, and to make up for our lacks. It follows then that any unresolved issuesare projected onto the other. A spiritual approach to marriage is when two individuals look toward theirrelationship to God or to their own path of fulfillment and relate to the other through the overflow oftheir inner journey. In this form, inadequacies are not projected onto the other. In fact, issues with theother person are looked to for information about what needs healing within oneself.121

My wife and I had been discussing the nature of relationship and manifestation. We noticed thatour relationship produced a greater abundance of grace in our lives. Though we are good mirrors andsupport each other in our endeavors, we rarely blame the other for what we are neglecting withinourselves, and when we do, we are vigilant. One evening, after our discussion on manifestation, Iwatched a sci-fi video in which the protagonists were attempting to harness zero-point energy to powera weapon. Zero-point energy is the energy of the universe itself. They had found a way to pull energyfrom the fabric of creation. They had a problem, in that they could not stabilize the energy. All wouldseem fine and then the process would destabilize. I had a dream that night. At first, it did not seem torelate to these two topics, but upon examination, it did.In my dream (it was like a lucid conversation), I saw an ocean, a man and a woman, and then anautomobile. On reflection, it occurred to me that the symbols were saying that the couple was a vehiclefor manifesting from the universal “ocean” of energy. Then everything came into focus. The goal in goodrelationship is not balance, but unification. The greatest intimacy is possible when we do not take ourlove personally. The essence of life is Living Love. In the sci-fi show, they were attempting to harness thisenergy as a weapon of destruction, because of fear.Arrogance and the intoxication of power motivated them. Asa result, the process would generate vast power and thendestabilize. They were not capable of controlling the infinitevariability. This was amazing to me. When we approach theresolution of conflict through polarization, we cannotsupport the flow of higher energy. We want to control it,while the universe is infinitely variable. Like the observationof whether light is a wave or a particle, we choose how itcomes into form by our intention. The unity in this situationdestabilized in the face of manipulation. What else can occurbesides distabilization, when you try to use unconditionallove as a weapon?When the mystical marriage occurs, whether in the form of our inner male and female, self toSoul (God or inner beloved), or manifest through overflow in our outer marriage, a unification formsthat, in turn, becomes a natural conduit for the universal field to manifest into our three-dimensionalreality. We ourselves become a conduit. In this state, we can manifest our chosen life through harmony.When we compete with our partner, unity collapses.When we compete with the universal intent, unity collapses. I use unity in contrast with balanceand harmony, because, in unity, imbalance may exist, but it is not the issue, or concern; it is anexpression of the solution. Imbalance provides the information that selects the appropriate responsefrom unity. So, the mystical marriage can best be seen as a resolution through opposites, rather than aresolution of opposites. The focus is not between opposites; it is from each polarity to unity, resulting inmanifestation that is greater than the polarity, yet that references to that polarity. When we objectifyeach other, we invoke an oppositional physics that limits the force field of the relationship. Throughunity, we become a vehicle for manifesting the causal into the local. The mystical marriage is arelationship of three.122

Chapter NineLABYRINTHLabyrinths have been in worldwide use since ancient times. One of the earliest patterns dates back to15,000 B.C. They range from a simple spiral pattern to the complexity of Chartres. Distinct from a maze,which is designed to confound with false passages and confusing turns, the labyrinth features acontinuous path from the “mouth,” or entry, to the center. Labyrinths are an archetype of the journeyto the center, to the Holy Land, to the Source. Like all pilgrimages, the journey is a review andreconciliation of one’s life and, as such, a transformation into wholeness, into holiness.From our study of sacred geometry, we see that the spiral is the archetypal primal movement.Creation emerged from the spiral movement of the sound current, logo, or God speaking itself intoform. The Golden Mean spiral reflects the circular movement of the primal sound. The structuredrelationships within all life reflect the ratio of the Golden Mean.The spiral patterns in creation form relationships, expressing the wisdom of the circle. Complexsound produces complex forms and mandalas in space, organizing particles into complex forms. Theprimal context expressed by the wisdom of the square emanates the basic building blocks representedby the regular geometric shapes. The labyrinth provides an archetypal energetic of these primal,formative structures and movements. Enlivened by our intentional focus, the labyrinth opens amultidimensional matrix. Walking the labyrinth is a form of dimensional conversation in which theelements of our microcosmic nature engage our macrocosmic counterparts. When we attune ourintention to these primal energies, our consciousness responds. Seven-circuit labyrinths are formed inright or left spirals. The Chartres labyrinth contains right and left spirals. So, when we walk the spiral ofthe labyrinth, we move in the same rhythmic spiral as creation. Walking a labyrinth is a journey tocenter, to self. As we move along the spiral we encounter our journey. The Chartre labyrinth is a journeyto the Holy City, or to Jerusalem.In our labyrinth adventure, we combine our experience of sacred geometry and the MandalaProcess. Walking the labyrinth is a pilgrimage into the heart of self. In previous chapters, through theMandala Process, we explored our life path, as a destined fulfilling of soul purpose. As we move alongthe circuits, we take this a step further. The holographic and dimensional field of the labyrinth becomesa living mandala, enabling us to access the constructions of our life experience. The Chartres labyrinthespecially combines the formation of the curriculum and character mandala of the Mandala of the Soul.The turns act on the layers of the morphic field and the chakras. Thus, walking the path brings to ourawareness the images of our transformation and inherent wisdom. Our intention selects the responseswe receive. Our intention can range from a question about what to do, to a review of our life’s meaning.123

Seven CircuitThe seven-circuitlabyrinth appears tobe one of the oldestpatterns, andperhaps the mostwidely used. Eachcircuit reflects one ofthe seven chakras. Aswe traverse the circuits, the circular flow of the energy moves through each chakra, activating theassociated content, coding, and belief structures. The movement creates an opportunity fortransformation, insight or greater awareness.Simple directions for drawing a seven-circuit labyrinth are in Helen Curry’s book, The Way of theLabyrinth. As shown, you essentially begin with a simple pattern, connecting the dots. The finishedseven-circuit labyrinth has a left-hand and right-hand construction, just as our Light Body has a rightandleft-hand rotation. Each potential location has an electromagnetic signature. This signature guidesthe optimum construction and orientation of the labyrinth.ChartresThe Chartres labyrinth, in France, is a unique innovation. The labyrinth at Chartres appears to be anintegral part of the architecture; however, the Cathedral itself is universal in its conception. Though thearchitecture is contemporary to its time, the placement of the windows and the cathedral proportionsseem to reflect the universal Christ. TheLabyrinth is an intricate pattern thatincorporates features of earlier labyrinthswith new patterns that reflect a deepunderstanding of sacred geometry and anesoteric understanding of the Christ.Completed in about 35 years, inapproximately 1200 AD, the buildersoriented the labyrinth to coordinatevarious designs and symbols in theCathedral. Seasonal orientation of specificconstellations are said to align with thewindows and the labyrinth. The grandeur,and vertical intersecting walls patterned ina cross, share similarities with the walls ofChaco Canyon, in New Mexico, both124

inspiring awe, and connecting the physical form with the cosmic movement and flow of energy. Thecontext of the Chartres Cathedral provides an opportunity for the “pilgrim” to attune their psyche to thedivine potential, unfolding the potential of transformation, revelation and enlightenment. The possibilityis there for transcendental awakening and actualization of the spiritual, mental, and physical levels(genetic transformation).Cosmic BrainThe ancients used the contrast of male and female areas to create awareness and channels of energy.The terms male and female were not necessarily determined by physical gender. It depended more onhow individuals accessed their own consciousness. The following diagram appears in The AncientTeachings of the Flower of Life (Melchizedek, 98). Itis represented as Thoth’s view of the sacredstructure of the brain. We see some elements incommon with our modern view. The interaction isbetween male and female, or logical andexperiential. The mirroring interaction of theamplified energies manifests as the “child” of themale and female through the corpus callosum, themediating structure between the hemispheres. Later,we will apply this to our use of the labyrinth. Themirroring tunes us in to the universal noeticconsciousness. The polarities tune us in to thecreativity, manifestation and rebirth.Allegedly, on Atlantis, the northern islandwas the home of a mystery school. It was the guidingcenter of wisdom for developing Atlantis. Of course,we have no written records that are physicallyavailable. We have spiritual sources and writtenstories based on spiritual sources. So, in a legal sense, this is “hearsay,” not to be confused with heresy.As the story goes, a great wall divided the island from north to south and a lesser wall at right anglesfrom east to west. The initiates of that time were placed in these respective quadrants according tomale or female orientation. The high priest served as the corpus callosum. There is said to be a branchof the Necal Mystery school that also migrated to Mexico.They spent thousands of years in this physical state until they believed they were ready for thenext step. Three people were selected to represent the corpus callosum, the part of the brain that linksthe left and right hemispheres together. Then the three began to align their energies, thoughts andfeelings, and all aspects of humanness, into an integrated human brain, not with human cells, but ratherwith human bodies. (Melchizedek, 96-97)125

This ambitious experiment, though seeming to failwith the greater Atlantean population, released a step inprogressive consciousness into the collective of humanity.The builders of Chartres apparently knew of this anddesigned the labyrinth and cathedral to awaken aremembrance to further this development. This time, thetheory was that by participating in the forms, symbols andenergy, the individual could internalize the experience. Thisinternalization was accomplished through the resonantrelationship between external form, ritual, and thepotential of the latent, inborn spiritual structure.In Chaco Canyon, at about the same time as theChartres experiment, a corollary activity occurred. The path of the sun and the moon symbolized thecosmic male and female polarities. The city of Chaco formed along two Great Walls. One set of wallsdelineated the path of the sun, and the other, the moon. Life evolved around the flow of male andfemale power, creating a consciousness that transcended both, and greatly amplified the power andpossibilities of the collective participation of the people. Women’s and men’s lodges were appropriatelyplaced in terms of the design of the sun and moon. Again, the surfaces provided a means to interface,forming a nexus between the dimensions.Chaco became an unlikely center of commerce and political influence. In the style of theMayans, it was apparently a spiritual center designed to instill awe in those making pilgrimage to thisspot. It was not all show; the architecture reflects a deep understanding of the flow of cosmic energy.No one knows why Chaco’s inhabitants left. One theory is that water and resources becamescarce and could no longer support such a large population. Besides a center of commerce, it was also acenter of learning. People may have left because they completed a contribution to the collective ofhumanity. It could also be that they realized that they had gained the ability to manipulate naturalforces beyond the maturity of their wisdom and, because of their wisdom, decided to abandon theexperiment.The similarity between the anatomy of the brain, the labyrinth at Chartres, the placement ofkivas, houses, and walls at Chaco, and the walls on the northern island of Atlantis, is intriguing. For ourpurposes, I will focus on the correspondence between the Chartres Labyrinth and the human brain. Thetheory suggested is that, as we walk the circuit, a resonating electromagnetic field develops because ofthe correspondence between the brain and the labyrinth. As the brain balances, greater harmonicsoccur, eventually expanding into an interface with the cosmic, or noetic, mind.Path of LifeOur life episodes are integral to walking the circuits of the labyrinth. Our intention orients us to thenature of our journey. When the mouth symbolizes present time, and the center, our birth, the walkingof the pathway is our soul-journey; walking the circuit resonates with the life experience genetically126

encoded in our deep structure. Our journeyrecapitulates and coagulates the wisdom of theexperiences reflected in the episodes and epochs ofour lives. Arriving at the center represents a newoctave of our birth and rebirth. The center is aplace of reformulating our etheric nature.When we explore the symbolic relationshipof events in our lives to developing consciousness,we transform beliefs that limit the activation of ourLight Body and strengthen our center. Events arefreed from attachment and dependence onexternal politics and are increasingly indexed to ourinner light matrix (kathara) and center. Wereconfigure our relationship to our innate strengthsand virtues, while establishing new characteristicsthrough life experience. When we arrive in thecenter plaza, the alchemical work is completed. This is where we transform the journey of our life’skarmic flow into purity. It is the alchemical distillation of the “seven steps of transformation.”Furthermore, the right and left turns reflect the counter-rotating spiral of the Light Body, DNA, and thegenerative growth pattern in nature.The six-chamber configuration of the center of the Chartres Labyrinth invites comparison to thesacred geometry of our etheric body, and our human/divine origin. The star tetrahedron of the ethericbody, the regular geometric solids, and the trinity of rebirth all have a place. Each of the chambers holdsone of the solids, including the sphere. The successive contemplation of the solids begins a vibrationalsequencing. Each viewpoint represents a cosmic perspective. As well as the formative geometricstructures, this sequence represents the father, mother and child. We begin with the tetrahedron (fire)and hexahedron (earth), representing the male side. The dodecahedron (ether/prana) and icosahedron(water) represent the female side. The octahedron (air) is the child and is opposite the void, representedby the sphere.As we meditate on each form, the implied center begins to radiate energy or light. Ourconsciousness is the catalyst. Through the spiral energy, each form resonates and links with its cosmiccounterpart. The center of the labyrinth becomes a cosmic womb, so to speak, in which we recapitulatethe birth of the universe, as it exists in us as a microcosm and around us as the macrocosm. By the timewe reach the center, we have reviewed and transformed our life curriculum, as portrayed in theprevious chapter by our destiny mandala. We are giving birth to the Christ within us. This is thealchemical step of coagulation.Through symbolic resonance, our activity transmits itself through our spiritual, archetypal,mental, emotional, and physical natures. The correspondence of the symbolic, geometric archetypal,and spiritual structure is the media that makes this transmission possible. Each form invites a particularmanifestation, imbued in it by its origins. The resonating shapes create a relational matrix that in turninvites a greater possibility for divine presence.127

From the perspective of sacred geometry, the male energy is formulated through thetetrahedron and cube, and the female through the icosahedron and the dodecahedron. The male andfemale configurations correspond to the hemispheres of the brain. The corpus callosum expresses theintimacy between the hemispheres that results in the child. In that sense the corpus callosum is like a“sex organ.” This links the cosmic harmonic to the physical form.When we gather the elements within us in unconditional love and intentional appreciation, weenter a larger field of consciousness. This corresponds to group experiences in which each person comesinto one accord with all of the other participants. When we understand the role of gender in childbirth,we have a metaphor for the internal process that guides our endeavors. The activation of our Light Bodyis a second birth. The child is the sphere or the octahedron, because our second birth changes theresonance of the body and awakens us transcendentally. As the Christ in us awakens, we unfold thisconsciousness into the world and enfold it into transcendental realms.From this dynamic, we explore birth, rebirth and manifestation. We do this on spiritual,psychological and physical levels. Though the spiritual and psychological seem more attainable, considerthat, as we connect with the deeper structures of our nature, through the awakening and integration ofour heart, mind, and spirit, the geometries of consciousness interact with the geometries of our DNA.Each journey further refines the Light Body. As the Light Body activates, it creates a dynamoeffect. When this occurs, each level of the geometric sheaths begins to rotate, and responds as a spiralmovement of energy. We experience this phenomenon as an expansion of our awareness andtransformation of our sense of self. As our center deepens, the light coagulates and radiates from thecenter and out through the concentric circuits of the labyrinth, which are now concurrent with thegeometric sheaths of our energy field. Our holiness expands, moving from the center, encompassing thesymbolic field of the labyrinth circuits, to the circumference. By so doing, events that were serialoccurrences become symbolically simultaneous events. Eventually, our path transcends time and linearrelationship. When that occurs, the journey out from the center becomes the “new day and new dawn.”PerspectiveThe group that appeared to guide the construction of the Chartres Labyrinth possessed a vastknowledge of sacred geometry and its relation to our spiritual development. Whatever else Chartres is,it is a seed planted in our modern psyche during medieval times, placing a vibrating beacon within thecollective consciousness.When we walk the labyrinth, I suggest a specific orientation consistent with our explorations inthis writing. Walking the circuit activates the cell memory and Light Body, giving an opportunity to enactthe archetypal importance of our life metaphor. The focus is to recapitulate our life story in a way thatclearly reflects the noema of life with the noeses of soul structure.Work in the central plaza invites initiation. It is a return to the womb, ritually, physically andspiritually. In a sense, it is the Holiest of Holies and represents the ancient Halls of Armenta. As youreach the center, be aware of the six compartments. They form a hexagram. They also form twointerlaced triangles, symbolizing the manifestation of the above and below, or the star tetrahedron and128

Light Body. This is the heart of life’s encoding: the balance and interaction of male and female, resultingin the child of integration, rebirth or manifestation.Position yourself in each station in whatever order seems appropriate to you, and then in thecenter. Each station also represents a regular geometric solid and resonates with the chakras and theLight Body. The center embodies our character mandala and the pathway of the curriculum mandala(See Chapter Six). Visualize each form inside your body and around your body. At arm’s length, see thestar tetrahedron, encompassed by the hexahedron as an eight-foot cube. Further out into the labyrinthcircuits, see the octahedron surrounding you. Next, visualize the dodecahedron, and, finally, at theperiphery of the labyrinth (or beyond), see the icosahedron.Walking the LabyrinthThis exercise is intended for the Chartres labyrinth. The seven-circuit labyrinth works the same, withintention and focuses more on the chakras.1. Begin by standing at the entrance, closing your eyes for a moment and relaxing.2. Center yourself in your silence, contemplating the focus of your journey. This can be a question,healing, or manifestation. In this case, the focus is on the journey of your soul and thetransformation and fulfillment of your holiness. Bring to your awareness the highlights of yourexperience with the episodes of this book. Each time you focus on an intention or image, theuniverse meets you there. When higher consciousness engages you according to your request,surrender and follow its lead.3. Unfold the reality, for the highest good, as it is accomplished, using all five senses to make it asactual as possible. Hold this for an appropriate time.Release the unfolding reality, passing it from your holiness to the universal holiness, and openyour eyes.4. Begin your journey slowly, taking each step as if it is your actual life path. You are on an imaginaljourney. An altered state emerges in which all time folds into the current space. Be aware of theterrain and the sights and sounds along the way. Note feelings, thoughts, and images thatunfold into your awareness.5. As you reach the entrance to the central plaza, pause for a moment before you enter. This is theHoliest of Holies, the Merkaba, or the cosmic womb. Renew your intention to awaken, to open,and to engage the manifestation of holiness. As you circuit the six stations, allow dialogue witheach expression. Take time in the center, inviting rebirth and renewal. Fill the labyrinth withyour radiance.6. Your journey is half completed, so position yourself in the return entrance, realizing you areleaving this sacred space and reformulating life according to its transformation.7. Begin your return with the same commitment as your journey to the center.129

8. On emerging from the labyrinth, take some time to journal and reflect, correlating yourexperience to the focus of your journey. Once you have closed your journal, surrender to yourexperience. In keeping with the Mandala Process, make a drawing of your experience.Finger Eye LabyrinthAs an alternative version, we can apply these perspectives to an “eye” or “finger” labyrinth. An eye orfinger labyrinth is a smaller chart size that you can follow with your eyes or trace with your finger.1. Write your question, topic, or intention for transformation on a piece of paper.130

2. Hold the labyrinth diagram at a comfortable distance. From the beginning, trace the passagewith your eyes, or finger, traveling toward the center.3. Pause in the center, closing your eyes and relaxing, contemplating the nature of the center:Light Body, geometric solids, birth and rebirth, character mandala, etc.4. Open your eyes and trace the labyrinth back to the entrance.5. Journal on your experience as a response and make a drawing of your experience.Each experience of the labyrinth, in whatever form, is a success. This kind of activity can stir ourdepths in places we did not know we had places. This is part of transformation. Transformation is oftenuncomfortable, and at times even painful. We may encounter a “dark night of the soul.” Whateveroccurs, trust your experience, allowing the process to complete itself, whether in the moment or in theweeks and months to come. Each journey becomes a new lifetime.Empowering Our VirtuesAnother way to use the center plaza of the labyrinth to inhance the Light Body is by empowering virtues.From a top view, the Light Body appears as a Star of David, or two interlaced triangles. The sun pointand earth point orient the spiritual or transcendental axis. The virtues represent the points of the stars.The individual receiving the empowerment develops a list of six virtues, based on his or her experience.These virtues are expressed in one- to two-wordstatements, such as: love, compassion, patience,healing. Each person arrives at these virtues throughreflection. There are eight points to the star. Theeight points are activated through our intention andassertion. This creates a content that enables spirit toplace the blessing of the other two virtues at the topand bottom points. When I do this in my class, I guidethe process and articulate spirit’s blessing.The empowerment is conducted by havingthe individual sit in a chair. This is done, usually, in agroup of students that I am working with in a mysteryschool class. I have six students, alternating male andfemale, stand around the person. I place my left palmon the top of the head of the subject person. Eachperson around the circle places their left palm insuccessive order. Then, everyone does the same with their right palm, and I place my right palm on top.I then say a prayer, asking the presence of the Christ and the Holy Spirit. I start out by asking for ablessing from spirit of the subject’s virtues. Each student develops their list of six virtues. The personspeakseach virtue, one at a time, and the group repeats it each time. Then, I state a blessing from spirit,131

which includes the seventh and eighth virtues. Each person is a corner of a triangle (the fourth point isimplied to form a tetrahedron, our stacked hands forming this fourth point.)These empowerments are wonderful. We may not always have time for the exercise. Iincoporate it in the class when I can. Please note that I do the empowerment from the spiritual forcesthat work with me. Many aspects of this are universal. Understanding is potentially available toeveryone. Doing the empowerment is consistent in my role with my students, and in keeping with thehighest good of their development. Before you engage in this protocol, I suggest you experience theseempowerments through one of the sponsored classes.Radical OnenessThe seven alchemical stages of transformation are calcination, dissolution, separation, , conjunction,fermentation, distillation, and coagulation. As we reflect upon our journey through this lens, each stephas new meaning. We have experienced the fire of calcination, the deconstruction of dissolution, thediscernment of separation, the noesis of conjunction, the dark night of fermentation, and the truth andclarification of soul-substance in distillation. Now we are ready for the new synthesis and initiation ofcoagulation. Coagulation forms a new transformational nexus. When we can sustain the consciouslinkage between the physical body of nature, the light body of the etheric matrix, and the soul body ofliving light and sound, a new nexus forms. Every sinew, filament, and fiber of our being synchronizeswith the ever-enfolding and unfolding holomovement of creation. We directly and consciouslyparticipate in the quantum coherency, that nexus from which the un-manifested reality creation unfolds.In this nexus, we can touch the frequency and relive the moment when sound formed the vesica piscisand created light.We embrace the qualities, or virtues, of soul: joy, love, peace, enthusiasm, intelligence, power,liberation. In that embrace, we surrender to a deeper intimacy; we become “nothing” in the flesh. Theadmonition that there is only one God becomes radically true.132

Chapter TenTHE STUDIOMy understanding of the scope and practice of the Archetypal Psychology class at Southwestern Collegehas evolved since I first taught it in 1979. When we initiate and persist in an activity that has scope anddefinition, a morphic field develops, serving as a resource for future participants. A morphic field is aninformational matrix that informs a reality set. The morphic field accumulates the experience of eachcohort. It becomes a reservoir of wisdom for the ready access of each, next, cohort. When each newcohort forms, we are joined by all the grace and good that has gone before. Increasingly, as I alignmyself with the process of teaching Archetypal Psychology, based on the Mandala Process, I experiencea shift of consciousness into a loving and powerful space that forms a coherency in which the educationtakes place. I have come to call the space The Studio. Consider that through our relationship, we—meaning all of us who have participated from the beginning—constructed The Studio through our love,vulnerability, courage, participation, sensitivity and awareness. The Studio supports the unfoldingpresence of each of us.The Studio is a place to make art. In The Studio, we can discover self through creativerelationship and creative process. The Studio is a spiritual, archetypal, mental, emotional, imaginal andphysical space in which we engage a living transformational presence. In this space, we can sculpt self.Like the proverbial artisan sculpting an elephant by chipping away all that did not look like the elephant,in our turn, we chip away everything that is not self. That is courageous. The archetypal realm is not ofthe mind, the emotions or the body, yet we experience it through our thoughts, feelings and sensationsand see it mirror back in all that we do, make and encounter. We access it through our innerconsciousness. Through our inner consciousness, we can encompass all and we stand equal to all.First, we train our bodies to sense and our inner vision to see, and then we ride the wave thatcontinually pulses through us, sensing the textures and surfaces that inform our consciousness and theresponsive world in which we live. The wave is a confluence of dimensions and our physical self is thebeach. Art is a way to ride the wave. Reflection is our means of conversation. To maximize this learning,we need to be deeply committed to the truth of self and intensely interested in each other. Each of usreveals deep insights into our forgotten selves: insights living unresolved in spurious zones of ourunconscious. Our forgotten selves are prophets, come to serve us and lay gifts before our newly-bornself. To journey in this course, we must challenge who we believe we are and move our awareness intothe archetypal realm. The only way I know to truly convey The Studio is to include the student voicesthat became the oracles of this place, this journey, and that came to embody the teachings. (Thefollowing discussion incorporates student writings from the Archetypal Psychology class atSouthwestern College.)Writing about what I learned throughout the quarter is usually an easy task, as I dust off thechalkboard and watch the dust tray collect the specks of history and memory flakes in thereflection of the light. It appears to not be so easy this quarter; gathering my thoughts is likevacuuming all the dust during a tornado. What sticks out? Or more likely, what sticks to me?133

What gives me away as what I learned glares at me in the face? I cannot escape believing Ilearned only what I consciously remember, feeling that each class session presented an energeticlearning experience reforming myself and my peers to sink into a new dimension of reality we allnow share.I walked around in my life believing that Archetypal Psychology should be a text-onlyclass, not even considering the implications of incorporating art as the main modality ofunderstanding the energetic body experience of archetypes. Furthermore, I sat in exasperationwith the question “What does Sacred Geometry have to do with archetypes? They arecompletely different!” Finally, I entertained the question of whether or not I was really receivingmy money’s worth by attending a class, or for that matter, a school where the classic modality ofacademic rigor was not the totem pole of learning, but rather a post in the support of the pier ofhuman experience. I remind myself that I chose this school for its emotional rigor, and signed upfor this particular class because I was in the final registration group, but the underlying oroverlying purpose arched over and beyond me, outside of the visual spectrum into waves thatmove too fast or move so slow. One of the purposes of this class became the chance to vibrateat different levels in order to experience the physical world through different realities and toremember the experience on a cellular level and in my everyday mundane awake state.The surprising aspect about this course is that once we began our study of ourselves, weseemed to forget where it all started. What I mean is, by immersing ourselves individually andcommunally into the energy field of experience, we quickly forgot the trembling ledge fromwhich we jumped. Realizing we forgot our birth, in a sense, deepens the mystery experienced byeach of us throughout our course of study. Forgetting the fear at the initiation allows thestudent, especially me, more space to accept the unexpected as part of the learning process andformulate new patterns of thought and behavior.Initially in our class, I wanted to learn all about the multitudes of archetypes existing inour human world, fully believing that I would eventually find one or ones that I identified withand learn to work with them. I was concrete in thought and expectations. It turns out this is notat all what happened considering we consciously worked with energy our very first evening inclass. I experienced great joy and relief that as a class, our instructor led us in a guidedmeditation that provided a zone of safety and sincere oneness with both Earth and Heavens,unlike anything experienced at school before. It did not really matter to me at that momentduring the rainbow meditation whether or not this had anything to do with archetypes or not, allI knew was that it felt good and right. (cm09)Whether your process is through the reading of this book, or participation in a cohort, therelationship of body and cosmic self awakens. In our connectedness, we fully occupy bodies thatmediate the full awareness of inner and outer realities. Our sense of self (soul) lives in the sensation ofall life. When we refer to the Mandala of the Soul, we are referring to a matrix of coherent informationfrom which the soul makes and explores this life. The soul makes this life from its archetype for this life,combining that which is given and that which it has made. The mandala emerges from this process as an134

accumulation of the interaction of self and All. The mandala encodes the consciousness of thetransformation into self, or, as Jung called it, individuation.I feel that the journeying that we did in class was very helpful. Iloved how the colors moved through me like energy. Our firstclass we did a meditation that was extremely visual and verypowerful. I was able to feel the colors enter my body and pourfrom my heart. Unlike other students in the class, I was able tofeel each color intensely. I felt that the colors were very positiveand flowed through me like water. We had to do drawingexercises around the color I saw. I found this process to be veryfulfilling and energizing. I really loved to use the colors I felt andtransfer my feelings on paper and make it something tangibleand concrete.The color process was only one of many amazingmeditations we did as a class. Although I was really sick for our first class, I found the meditationto be one of the most vivid. I was really able to connect with the different colors and feel them inmy body. When I look back at the class, I really valued how connected I felt to the colors.The Studio is pervasive; it is our commingled reality. We build it from the ubiquitiousinterpentration of all life and spirit, by connecting with the infinite resources that are always at ourfingertips. We choose the level of this communication by how we are present and how we respond. Ifind that when I am fully present in my loving, I am in a state of not needing to make anything happen,yet I also find myself responding in a direct and truthful way. Truth spoken from loving is never harmful.The more we are present with each other and dare the truth, the more direct and sweet thetransformation. Trust me when I say „trust yourself.“ In The Studio, we share all and, in this way, wepractice the finesse of articulating all to each other in the language of transformation.We often protect each other from change, based on what we are protecting within ourself. Atthat point, we must challenge ourselves and align with transformation. We are not about fixing theeccentricities; we are present in this way to re-order ourselves, by adding to the presence of love that isthe intractable nature of our higher self, our soul self. In The Studio, we expose ourselves to thetranformational presence of our souls. We are the brave-at-heart. As a cohort, we resolve the addictivestrategies that support our sense of self through conditional and codependent strategies. Unconditionallove is very powerful. Conditional love makes a mess and limits learning. It dissipates The Studio. Withconditional love, The Studio becomes just a location, void of living love and presence of self. We all havea judging self. The key is in the follow-up. Do we consciously stand with ego-self, supporting and caringfor it from the level of self that is unconditional love? This is recommended, of course.In the morphic field of my current teaching, there are elements of all the times that I have beenteacher or student. I am wealthy with mistakes, and successes as well. So my present continues toresolve my past and my future. Being present has the benefit of all times, places and circumstances. Allmy developmental stages are present. I take care of them in sweet love, forgiveness and appreciation.135

My future self is present, as well, loving this platform of expression. In that, is the best of all: the love,guidance, wisdom and support of All that Is, unfolding in the moment. The cosmic and personal self areone.As we work in The Studio, the dimensions of myself and each member of a given cohort areintimately involved in any one class member‘s Mandala Process. Each person, using the repertoire ofthe entire class, harvests their mandala. The final mandala in this process is distinctly one’s own, yetrefined, honed and polished onto the face of eternity, as reflected in the individuals of the cohort.The power of art therapy has become apparent to me in this course. Every day, we put our artout into the room and said whatever we wanted about it. It was so intriguing to me to see notonly my art process but the process of others. These processes were so inward and yet there wasan external manifestation of it. This is something I have always felt about art but never had theright words to describe. I knew that art is like a voice for the culture and for people. But it seemsmore appropriate to say in this therapeutic setting than at an art critique in college. I had aprofessor in art school who told me, “You will always fight with art.” And this is exactly how ithas felt in my journey through art school and beyond. I always loved art but I felt something wasmissing from it. I knew that it was attached to something deep inside of us and the “art world”didn’t want to call it as such. So for me, it began to feel very cold. So, I began to push it away. Itbegan to feel like work. I denounced art. When I came to Southwestern, I didn’t want to enterthe art therapy program. I was wary of it. I didn’t want to get tied down again to something Iwould eventually come to disbelieve entirely. I am grateful to have the experience of art which Ialways wanted in this course. I am also grateful that I decided not to enter art therapy becauseof my experiences with art. I am therefore grateful for my negative experiences with art! Ibelieve that everyone is an artist, I always have. People always told me how talented I was, and Itold them they have the same amount of talent. It’s not a self-deprecation, I truly believe this.For me, it was a choice. It was an interest, not a talent. In this course, I have seen this proveitself. Specifically, R started the quarter with a pretty significant degree of anxiety about art ingeneral. Watching her process was so amazing! She expressed how frustrated she would gettrying to do the homework. She was groping in the darkness. It was so beautiful to see herreactions to the reflections we gave her about her artwork! She was shocked and had no ideawhat she was capable of in regard to art. It really warmed my heart and confirmed my beliefthat everyone is an artist.This begs the question, what is an artist? For me, it has always been something hard todefine. An artist makes art. The artist does not need to have people like it, like it themselves, sellit or even show it to anyone. An artist makes art and no one can tell that artist even what art is.It’s very freeing for me to understand this. This gives me as an artist the freedom to makewhatever I want at any time. This course has assisted me in remembering these things. I feel thatI have had healing in art during the course of Archetypal Psychology. Art and I have madeamends; I stopped blaming it for losing its heart. I just got mine back. Art doesn’t change, itdoesn’t need to, but I do. My mind was engulfed in college with art and it was missing heart. Thisis why it felt so cold. I really treasure the drawings I have from this course. It’s not often that I get136

a physical testament to the inner work I have done. I am so proud of my portfolio again filledwith drawings and paintings. (as09)In the context of the cohort and The Studio, the morphic field is in constant revision. In myview, each class is created from those who intend it. That has been rocky at times, blissful of late. Intransformational learning, an oversoul forms that becomes the true teacher, and my orchestration is toserve that agenda, which is a blending, always, of individual karmic and destiny needs, as well as theparticular topic of the assigned course of study. This is always an organic process, that collapses whenwe try to divide it into non-contiguous segments that cause us to attempt learning through oppositionalrelationship. When we act in opposition to our inner teacher, or true self, our scope of awareness islimited to physical or mental dimensions of understanding, filtering out the dimesions of higher mind,soul, cosmos, All. This action multiplies if the cohort reverts to a competion-based pedagogy.When I work with this material in a cohort, there are three elements of the capstoneexperience: the curricuum and character mandala, the reflective paper and the presetation. As themandala is a distillation of the codes that inform the coherent relationship between our personality andour cosmic, or primal, self, the final paper is a reflection on the experience of the Mandala Process. Thepresentation is an empowering initiation, in which we own our alignment. The paper and the mandala isa reflected form of the information within the Akasha, the morphic field of The Studio. In this, thestudent integrates experience and understanding and submits this wisdom into the morphic field. Ofthe students who decide to take the course, they come with many perspectives. No matter how muchforeknowledge they have coming into the course, it is an unknown. This is true for each student, and it isalso true for me, even though I have had the experience of doing something similar many times before.Yet we share a basic wisdom that the truth of our liberation and transformation lives within us. I amradical in this perspective. That which is truly ourself cannot be shaken. When we are shaken, it isinformation about a false self that we have mistaken for truth. We always do this for good reasons, andone of those reasons is the transformation of the false into the true. Take a chance.Archetypal class finally arrived and became the one vessel in which to pour all my experiencesand drink from it what I felt I could use to further my growth in this life. But to pour it in the onevessel, I needed to accept that whatever painful memories I had, were valuable to all the othercontents in the vessel, which meant looking my experiences in the face to tell them I forgave thepain caused and wanted to move on with my life. Doing so came in the form of drawing before,during, and after shots of me in relation to this one person. Aside from being proud of mydrawings and their artistic qualities, I felt embarrassed to share raw experiences with others. Ithought I could lie and say the drawings really did not mean much and I was done with the wholefiasco. There was no way I could let myself get away scot free with that lie! When I shared thisdrawing in class one evening, a wave with the strongest undertow took me under the surface ofmy illusion and brought forth the raw emotions of the experience. I started crying in class, whichscared me because I had yet to cry in a class at Southwestern and always believed myself strongand stoic, or just not needing to cry. Oh the vulnerability I felt! My chest literally caved in, as I137

Coalescingfelt the structure of illusion and false belief collapse through my chest and cycle through me inthe form of tears.I left class stunned. As if my emotional self had been shocked into a new reality andcould not comprehend her bearings. I thought, “Where do I go from here?” I admitted to agroup of people what had happened between myself and this other person, which basically camedown to the fact that my illusion of who this person was quickly and devastatingly skeweredapart and there I was, left hanging the final straw. I went home that night and sobbed for hours.I remember sobbing like that in October when I realized that whatever relationship had beenpresent, no longer was and I still did not want to believe it. However, this time around, I felt like Icried a long, final farewell to the self that died with the illusions. The [personality] who existednine months ago no longer ruled my life and I felt like I cried her out of my body and definitelyout of my energy field. Furthermore, I distinctly remember after that particular evening classsaying to myself, “I wish I would stop crying after every class!” Which was not true in the least,but I knew I wanted to break from the perpetual cycle of victimization, self-pity, resentment,guilt and anger I often felt after some classes other than this one, and allowed myself to indulgein so as to gain some sense of identity.Amazingly, after that class, I began challenging my drawing skills and moving fearlesslyinto unhallowed ground of drawing human figures. A shift occurred somewhere betweenadmitting my guilt towards my negative self-image and speaking out loud about my pain withanother, and such a shift provided the necessary space to expand my Self. …Such sensations of excitement and comfort quiver on the thin skin sheathed overdeveloping true sense of Self. When I realized I could draw The Birth of Venus from both apicture and my own creativity, I became enthralled at the passion I felt towards her figure andhow much I resonated with her energy. When I then shared her image with the class onnumerous occasions, I experienced great peace and comfort because I felt secure in herappearance and energy. All of Venus’ aspects were placed neatly and securely on her framewhich stemmed out from her real wings, a gift from both Heaven and Earth. …The Birth of Venusoccurred within me, for the seas of change ruptured to allow such a beautiful and courageoussense of Self and self-worth to usher forth on wings of truth. Her birth within me reflectednaturally onto the drawing paper, as if my chest opened wide and allowed the rays from myheart to imprint the surface of who I am inside. My depiction of my true Self is not merely aninterpretation, but an energetic imprint accurately showing others and reminding me who Icreated to help the rest of me come forth into courage and actuality. (cm09)The Studio is made by us, for us. The Studio enfolds dimensions within dimensions. Separating the truefrom the false, we harvest our illusion through making art and speaking from love. We live in The Studiofor the duration of the course. When we meet physically as a class, The Studio is located in a physicalplace. Between physical meetings, the studio is virtual. We all ask questions in order to make our138

choices. When a student chooses the course, they are relying on more than what they hear from otherstudents. They choose based on who they are inwardly and what they hear from that self.Before I began this class I had expectations of what I’d be learning and what I’d be doing.Naturally, all my expectations were exceeded. I did not learn any of the things I thought I would.I imagined the class would focus on the archetypal characters we live by, such as the wanderer,the orphan and so on. Students I’d spoken with had a rather split perspective on Dr. Watermanin which they really liked him or they did not; I was anxious where I would fall in thosedichotomous categories. Drawing had always been a frustrating activity accompanied by selfcriticismand disappointment, so reading the syllabi I was concerned about my ability to draw amandala.What is this adventure that invites us? The class is required but there is a choice of instructors.Who is the best guide? My wish is that my classes be filled with students who want to take a chance. Todiscover that, beneath who they think they are, there is a greater self, with capacity, love and center; tohave confidence in their ability to go beyond what they think they can know. Even students who did notlike me now have me as a reference point. I trust that that challenge will have a long-term value; it doesfor me. I can explore: Who was the reflected me, represented as student, who did not like me? Who stilllives inwardly in me, who needs love, light and integration, and who has a new package of wisdom toplace beneath my tree of life?The first day of class I arrived feeling open and excited. Dr. Waterman struck me a as anintriguing and sincere human. Rather than going into the topic I had expected, archetypalcharacters, we dove into what I can only describe as metaphysical art therapy. I gave myself tothe experience and I received a wealth of information about myself. I realized during the firstclass that I could dialogue with my higher self and I increased my awareness of my energeticbody. Dr. Waterman led the class on a meditative journey through the vibrations and nature ofthe color rays.Some relationships form easily and powerfully; others require finesse. I look through love to findthe way of relating to each student, to shed falseness and reveal the light of self. The cohort provides ameans to use our cosmic dynamics to amplify the reflective process of self discovery. After a midquarterintensive, we meet with our drawings. We sit for awhile and look. At the meeting before, eachsmall group has shared, using The Studio guidelines. Sometimes I have them meet back with the smallgroup, to share the drawings from the class before. At some point, I open to what I notice, eventuallytalking to each person. My aim is to model a way of exploring the images. Each art image containsinformation about the unfolding self. We need to sort through and find what is truly living andliberating. From my perspective, this experience in small groups is essential, as it is free of myperceptive flavor and authority, enabling the students to stand forward for themselves. When studentdisagree with me, they must agree with themselves, otherwise they are in reaction and loose thepossible wisdom of their own perspective. The mirror of The Studio is not about who is right. It is about139

engaging the self that is truth. We may leave unresolved challenges for the small groups. In the safetyand intimacy of small groups, our fears can resolve, and permission to change can flow. In small groups,the student gains confidence and competency. Held within this cloistered energy, the facilitator andstudent within can open and find voice. The shift is always from what we think will be the case to whatactually is going on. We learn to trust our process. We learn to expand our awareness so that we sensethe morphic field directly; from that, we can best be of service to each other.We are the media. To repeat the Sufi master: “The personality is the greatest creative project ofthe soul.” As we know ourselves as ego, we are the soul’s mandala. The process is to make that morecongruent. The Mandala Process is emergent. With each cycle in the sequence of drawing, the selfemerges, making itself evident, and cohering as an element of soul.My conception of archetypes was vague at best when I began this class, as I truly believe thatdeveloping an understanding of archetypes and how they relate to the collective unconscious, aswell as how they relate to individual psychology is a lifelong process. Jung had such animpressive and vast ability to understand, theorize about, and explain abstract concepts likearchetypes (or maybe they are not abstract at all), and I’ve only just dipped my toe into thesurface. It’s a process that I look forward to, and I especially look forward to the day thatsomething ‘clicks’ into place, and I have a true felt sense of archetypes, and I can explain themcoherently and eloquently. As with many things, my understanding of Jung’s work will onlyimprove with age.…I had no idea that art, specifically drawing/painting images, would be such animportant part of this class. At first I was wary; I’ve never considered myself to have any artistictalent except for crafting sentences. Putting something perfectly into words is something I findincredibly satisfying.I learned through the quarter that the precision that I employ when crafting sentences,when selecting and combining the right words, was something that I felt moved to do with mymandalas as well.Cosmic SelfWhen we connect inwardly to the movement of consciousness, our awareness extends outward.Vulnerability to self opens us inwardly, and from there we can move outward with clarity and strengthtoward whatever vista we choose. The ancients opened their awareness to the sea of energy that is all--manifest and unmanifest. Everything is alive as energy and information. They called this sea the Akasha,the memory of life that informs life. In modern physics, we say that this sea is a quantum coherency, theimplicate order from which all life and form unfolds. Our capacity to be one with this field, and to makeimages and symbols, enables us to transform ourselves and co-create reality. We are the bridgebetween heaven and earth.In the first meeting with the students, we begin to build what I call a vessel of consciousness. Aship made of consciousness, of quantum stuff. This vessel enables us to journey together into the140

archetypal sea. Without it, the journey is more difficult. We are of the same fabric; when we are in acoherent relationship, we have the optimum context in which to learn, because we, as student, areembedded in the All Teacher. We build an inward relationship to our inner studio in which resides anarchetypal inner teacher. If you need a refresher here, repeat the Head Center Meditation, whichjourneys into the inner classroom of Amenti.For the mystery school meditation I encountered a male shadow person who was very patientand caring. A beam of light radiated between the sky and the top of the school. The light beamhad a reciprocity feeling of not coming solely from the sky or the school. The radiance camefrom a co-creation of the two. On one side of the school was the morning sky and on the otherside of the school was the starry night sky. The teacher figure I feel is my animus. I have beenbrought up mostly by women and have not experienced true intimacy with males. I am not surehow to appreciate animus qualities within myself and not quite clear if I even know what thosepositive qualities are. I made the silhouette of myself in the drawing white, which feels like aninnocence of not knowing what the animus holds.The archetype of the cosmic self is the impetus for the Mandala Process. It is through thisarchetype that we live, move and have our being on earth. It is the context and the intentionality of ourexistence. It has been our guide all along. For that to make sense, we must introduce our bodies to theexperience of this archetype. To do that, we first practice energy awareness by focusing on the rainbowof frequencies that are the building elements of life. Life shows us its colors in the rainbow. Once ourbodies are open and conscious of these subtle energies, I like to invite an inner journey into theexperience of the cosmic self archetype. We have already explored this process earlier, so we turn again,now, to student reports on this formulating experience.During the meditation I went on a journey inside of my egg body: an adventure into my essence.I felt expansive and tingly. The meditation provided content and feeling for the first mandala Iwould create at home that night. I felt like I expanded out of my physical body and I saw manybeautiful images. I heard the sounds of silver coins falling together and the sounds of robinschirping. I saw an array of gold, silver and blue glitter flying through my energy field. I wenthome and started working on my first mandala. I was relieved to know that I was not requiredto draw a Buddhist or Tibetan mandala and that there was little structure to the art. It was acreative expression all my own.In this first meditation, the student engages with the process. It was not an intellectual action;she became aware over time that this mandala was an essential expression in her life. She went on tosay:My first mandala reflected my experience of the color meditation. I eventually chose this as mycurriculum mandala as the images spoke to the lessons I’m learning in this life. When filling myawareness with red I felt my energy become like a bowling pin, grounded and full. The red was141

warm and inviting, it came across in my art like a womb. Upon further contemplation this wombimage represents a need to create a felt sense of safety in my life. It also represents the trauma Iexperienced in my mother’s womb. The womb represents generational healing work I am doingin this lifetime. I feel very strongly that the experiences of my ancestors are with me and that Ihave the ability to clear trapped energies and to eclipse the sadness and stagnation that pastmembers of my family were unable to complete during their lifetimes. Looking at the womb inmy final mandala I am filled with a sense of pride and honor that I am making a conscious effortto parent and love myself, in a healthy and nurturing way.Each person’s response is unique. Opening into a dimensional experience, a flow emerges, uponwhich awareness can travel and discover. The fear of self is the awe of self. We have practiced beingsmall so long, as a means of getting what we need, that when the greater love of self calls to us, itpresents as being too big and we are afraid. Please, this is a voice within you, so trust the invitation to agreater experience of what is substantial. The inner teacher will give you the key to your language, theself-codes that spoke you into being.In each case, it is the first time we engage art as a means of expressing the realms of the innerself onto paper. Embrace the struggle, for that is the tenacity which we break through to newdimension, even when our sense, our intellect, our belief says that nothing is there, or that it is toodangerous to proceed.Even though I know that everyone has some inherent creativity, I struggled to find mine at first,and of course judged myself for not being an ‘artist‘ in a class with artists. I criticized my workand was sometimes frustrated with my lack of artistic ability. I do not like sitting in front of ablank piece of paper with a pencil in hand wondering what to draw. There are too many choices,too many things to choose from. My creativity needs some kind of structure. I appreciated theweekly assigned mandalas because they generally related to something we had done in theclass. My first was simple; it was about the meditation that we’d done the first day in class. Idrew exactly what I had experienced, which was a whirlwind of energy and bolts of blue andyellow energy.Sometimes the response is direct and obvious. Other times the images do not match ourexpectations. They seem to fall outside of what is true or useful imagery. We converse with theunconscious in symbols and images. We are developing an internal language and, as such, acceptance isessential.During the first guided meditation I was asked to visualize certain colors, to feel the energy ofthese colors. Immediately my intellectual mind was skeptical as to the worth or validity of theassignment, however I told myself to remain open. As I sat waiting for some great revelation tohappen, a big, bright red tomato popped into my mind. Twirling and smiling my tomato gailydanced around inside my head. My initial reaction was one of self-criticism. I thought I wasn’tbeing serious enough about what was being asked of me. I felt I was probably blocked or cut off142

from the “source”; a source I had no firm grasp on at the moment. I conversed with the tomatoand told it to leave. I said I was on a mission and had no time to play. While I was engaging inthis conversation the meditation continued. As the colors changed, in popped another tomatoand then another. I tried to quiet the playful child within and concentrate harder. As themeditation progressed, more and more dancing vegetables appeared until I finally surrenderedto what was and that is what I put down on paper in my first drawing. As I drew, the colorsrevealed their meaning to me; red was birth, orange and yellow was energy from the sun, greenwas growth, purple was the importance of their existence, blue was water necessary for theirsurvival, gold and silver swirling around them became the “source” that makes them be alive,thus the dancing. Upon completion of this art work the meaning became clear to me. Thedancing vegetables with their hands held together formed a circle; an unconscious mandala wascreated. This first experience was a powerful beginning to my journey; it opened my heart to thepossibility of an unseen force behind all creation; a force I used to call God but have sinceabandoned due to religious wounding. (te09)Mirrors of TransformationWe are constantly choosing, in ways that build us up or tear us down. We organize these choices intofunctional and dysfunctional patterns. In The Studio, we explore these relationships as cooperativeforces, reflecting the colors from which we paint the self. Functional is not a perspective from which wefix, nor is it a consequence of fixing. Functional and dysfunctional are the reflective means out of whichemerges our center, our self. When we institutionalize either, we are held in an oppositional reflectionof self. We are stuck. We are more effective when we embrace our polarized positions andinterpretations of functional and dysfunctional expression, making neither a position that needsprotection, and using both for process. We are the inner person, using both to lift higher andconsolidate our transcendental wisdom. We explore this dynamic when we do the functional anddysfunctional images.From the exercise in creating images for positive and negative experiences in physical,emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and social aspects of our lives, we created mandalas containingall of these experiences. This was a powerful lesson in the beauty and importance of the“negative.” I was able to visually see the necessary inclusion of shadow to make an imagecongruent and whole. Much of my artwork lately has reflected my desire to discard and ignorethe darkness and fill the page with only light. To intentionally add shadow helped me recognizeits presence and value.Sometimes it is just the process itself.I was mainly focused on working fast while experimenting with color combinations. I became soprocess-oriented that I also began to scratch into the thickly layered oil pastels. This felt143

satisfying because it incorporated an element of destruction to the artistic process. It feltpleasurable to layer the medium and then remove some by carving out new lines with myfingernails. I enjoyed the look of the image as well because this technique added coarse textureto an otherwise smooth surface. I also realized that if I created the image by layering lightercolors onto the paper, and then scratching into the pastels after layering multiple shades, thenthe lightest layer would reemerge in a translucent, almost luminescent manner. Basically Idiscovered a new technique, which felt like progress.I felt like I was successfully able to release much of the pent up, frustrated energy thatwas inside of me during the creation of this drawing. Currently the theme of stagnant energyfeels palpable to me. I have become vividly aware of this phenomenon during the school quarter.Several times I have acknowledged a heavy, stuck sense within myself. My new way ofapproaching the feeling was allowing it to percolate for a short while, immersing myself into theintense feeling of frustration, and then using that energy for the act of creation after I was ableto process and redirect it. I feel as though the skill of reprocessing resistance will be highlyvaluable to me as a therapist and in my own personal life. However, I believe it is beneficial toexperience and realize feelings before transmuting them into a new form of energy. I also wantto continue releasing my judgments about my feelings and experiencing so that I can encounterthe value in all. (ss09)Golden TriangleA genius lives inside of us. The abode in which it lives is a safe place. Our loving is the form throughwhich it guides our mind. The golden triangle process is simple, powerful and direct. Perhaps by nowyou have experimented. One student used it in an unexpected application. When we were doing thefunctional/dysfunctional process, with positive and negative experiences on the levels of spiritual,mental, emotional and physical, she added to this the golden triangle.I used the Golden Triangle exercise to come up with images to integrate my mental, physical,emotional and spiritual positive and negative experiences. From taking the positives up one sideof the triangle and the negative up the other side of the golden triangle a very powerful alchemyof acceptance and unity occurred.For my negative physical experience I drew getting my hair pulled. For my positiveexperiences I drew one picture of being in the ocean in Hawaii looking up at the night sky and theother picture of the sun. I was gifted the image of a boat in the river to represent a merging ofmy physical life experiences. To me that means that I embody adventure in a graceful way frommy positive and negative physical experiences that I chose to work with on this piece. I had afeeling of channeling my excited energy into a flow on the river. Mental negative for me wasbeing treated as though I had a learning disability for gazing off and not staying focused on thestructure at hand. Mental positives for me are cooking and reading. After combining thepositive and negative mental experiences I got an image of a unicorn which has been an144

imaginary friend/power animal in my imagination. This image of the unicorn brought togetherthe feeling of imagination created from creating food, reading, and constantly gazing off.For spiritual negative I have an image on the fear of “hell” being installed. Swirly spiralsof colors I have to represent connectedness and a sunset in the mountains to represent nature asmy spiritual experiences. At the top of the spiritual golden triangle I saw a peach tree whichmakes me think of the Garden of Eden and the feeling of still belonging there. This imageincorporates connectedness of belonging in nature and transforms hell into paradise.Emotional negative for me was not being welcome back into my parent’s house whilepregnant with my oldest daughter. Emotional positives for me are holding infants andexperiencing love from my grandmother. After envisioning the golden triangle for my emotionalimages I received a heart for unconditional love.Envisioning what I grained from the positive and negative experiences was verybeautiful. I felt more appreciation for all the events in my life. Seeing the events in this wayhonored, validated, and made sense of all aspects of my past. Doing this process gives me hopethat hardships in the present will hold the same purpose in the future.In a further application, she used the golden triangle to mediate her relationship with herdaughter, as it lived inside of her.My intention during the golden triangle meditation in class was to resolve tension between myteen daughter and myself. Having my daughter when I was so young I made many mistakes thatshe is not understanding. Often I try to reason with her but the dynamics of our relationship is soenmeshed in a particular way that untangling it feels impossible. After merging my imagestogether in the meditation I saw spirally lights surround us as we embraced. That gave me thefeeling of dropping judgment and being able to unconditionally love the relationship for what itis.The IntensiveMy preference in teaching is to combine the weekly rhythm with an intensive two-day session at aboutthe mid-point. We build a foundation of information and experience that serves as a stage, upon whichto build a quantum step up, into a greater capacity of self. In the intensive for Archetypal Psychology,we explored the Three Selves model of personality, the resource of our inner teacher and innerclassroom (head center), the spiritual heart, and life span transformation - all through a process I callpanels.The weekend component of the quarter really challenged me, as we did so much art. I let myselfenjoy it, and it was during that weekend that I came up with some images that I didn’t despise. Iwas not sure about the idea of symbols, and at first I felt that overwhelming feeling of havingtoo many to choose from, until I made the connection that a drawing of an animal is a symbol.145

Animals symbolize so many things to so many people, and they have special significance in mylife, as I just adore them. In one of our first classes, I drew a picture of my dog to representsomething positive, and I realized that the picture of her was so much more than just arepresentation of a dog. A picture of my dog to me meant love, cuteness, playfulness, sadness,happiness, comfort, responsibility; all of these things, which means that when I looked at it, I hada simultaneous experience of all those things.In some cases, we begin a process or come to realize that the resolution is the process. Becauseof this, we often have a lot of unconscious movement that we don’t feel consciously. We may be lookingfor a change and all that is really happening is more clarity.The piece that was very emotional and difficult for me to feel connected to during the weekendclass is much easier to look at now. What I see now, after taking a breather for a few weeks, is alot of barriers and love being pressed behind traps and barbed wire. … I am still not feelingpowerful enough to do any transformative work with that and keep trying to put it over to ahigher power. Whatever work I need to do with that must not be completed. The combination ofthe heart and the barbed-wire have a feeling of love and boundaries, two things that I have beenworking on. *I need to+… balance being loving while having healthy boundaries. I know I havecome a long ways on dealing with these kinds of boundaries. I have a hard time giving myselfmore credit for that since I still have a lot more to work on in that area. I am starting to noticehow I over analyze the necessity of my present relationships. Mostly I analyze if I am getting toomuch protection in the relationship or not enough. By doing this I feel that I am too much injudgment but by not doing it, I fear going on the wrong path of not feeling supported or beingtoo dependent.Once we persevere and move through the “darkness,” we discover that the darkness has beenjust a passage and not a barrier. The evidence of this is in the place where we arrive.SymbolsI would like touch upon my experience during the weekend class and how it is continuing to shiftbeliefs and reality systems I previously thought were unwavering truths. During the weekendclass I realized there were a lot of doors and darkness on the way into my heart. However, once Igot into my heart I realized I am like a swan, transforming and majestic.A wonderful phenomenon occurs in which there is an emerging sense of owning the symbolic andexperiential keys to our internal empire. When we are masters in our own house, our relationship to lifechanges in wonderful and dramatic ways. Step by step, we are building a language base that will, in duecourse, gestalt into an intelligible discourse.146

PanelsThe representation of my connection to life became even more clear in the following week’smandala. I did a guided meditation on color and light within the body and created this imageout of that meditation. The sacred geometry of the five pointed star, and the life-givingproperties of the five pedaled flowers are included, along with the chakras within the body andthe rainbow of light radiating out of the five extensions of the body. This was the first time Iincluded black in any of my images, and it seems to balance the image as well as provide shadowand contrast. This is also the first time I included a representation of my physical body in a clearform. This image felt like it was the closest to my character mandala that I had come all quarter.This image has the quality of containing all of the elements of life, a true representation of myown essence as a being. I feel deeply connected to this image. I see now how I was also inspiredby the flowers in my garden-- specifically the hollyhocks. The hollyhock has five petals and a fivepointed star. I could see my body within the star in the hollyhock and feel the light from the sunshining through.The following week, I felt like I had already reached my highest point. The last mandala Ihad done was as far as I could go and part of me started to believe I was making it all up. I feltthe self-judgment creep in that I didn’t know what I was doing. I was at a point of comparingmyself to others in the class and believing that they had reached some kind of epiphany or shiftand that I wasn’t there yet, or couldn’t get there. I did a guided meditation to find a healingsymbol and didn’t feel connected to the image I made. I didn’t understand it and I didn’t think itwas beautiful in the way I thought my other mandalas had been. I look at this image now andsee five pointed stars radiating out of what could be eyes. There is a radiance feeling in thewhole image, and while it may not contain all of the colors of the rainbow, I can see how thisimage is beautiful and healing. The eyes are wide open and seeing. The stars are shining in theirlife-giving qualities. This is an open and radiating image. I can see that when I let go of thejudgment.I love the panel process. We start out becoming familiar with the sequence of before and after a healingor traumatic event, and look at the change. That in itself is transformative, because it brings the truth tothe surface.I discovered the use of the panels themselves to be very potent. I had come to a point during theexperiential [process] when I cared less if I created another panel, and I am one who enjoysexpressive arts! This said; I knew that I was reaching an epiphany amidst the chaos and pain. Istayed the course and discovered the buried treasure as Jungians would say. I was reminded thatas a little girl I was manipulated and used by those a few years older than me as well as adults—those who were supposed to be my protectors or caretakers and those who were in positions ofpower and authoritarian roles—mostly men, though sometimes powerful women in rigidreligious roles. These were people I was supposed to be able to trust. This came up for me during147

our break that last day of the workshop. The universe gifted me once again with the opportunityto work on this. I did not even have to leave the school grounds! The amazing fact for me wasthe power of the last panel, how did I go about achieving the best outcome for that last panel.What steps did I set in motion to make that happen? The power was in seeing theinvisible made visible through the use of expressive arts and the mandala. Jung was reallyon to something powerful—bringing into the light the unconscious realm. I had workedaround this negative pattern and this group of people before, yet I could not seem to shake themoff. Now, when they come across my mind, I simply wish them well and chuckle at it all!We can then look at the way the past is not only shaping the present, but tracking the future. Inthis sense, past and future are shaping the present. This dynamic is similar to the golden triangle, inwhich opposites held simultaneously create an integration and resolution, and, by so doing, a newreality. So, instead of a possible future that loops back to reinforce the negative past, we can interruptthis process by imaging a future outcome that we want and then, as the synthesis, create the image ofhow to manifest that result.I really liked the triptych that we did in class. I wasfascinated how we had to come up with an issuethat was unresolved. I took the issue of my exfiancée who was killed in a car accident. We had todraw the step before the unresolved issue. This step Idrew as a bottle of alcohol. My middle picture was ofa broken bottle and the third picture was of acracked flying heart. I really felt good drawing thisevent.Although this was a very hard thing for meto discuss in a large group, I felt that it was easy to draw. I really loved how we then took thepictures we drew and talked in a small group. I felt like I was able to discuss this unresolved issuein my small group. This process was a healing experience and I saw the class change as a whole.During this same exercise, we were askedto take our unresolved issue and make it our newreality. We were then asked to draw our newreality. I found this a very hard task because myunresolved issue was wrapped around someonewho had passed away.I witnessed the processing that we did inclass to help us change our reality and create aspace in our lives for changes. I felt that the classas a whole did some amazing things.148

If nothing else, the process deconstructs our habit of causality. The habitual way we seecausality may be little more than a superstition.We were guided in an exercise to create life panels of something traumatic that had occurred inour past. I immediately went to being separated from my father in Spain. I drew a three partseries of what that looked liked in my mind’s eye. When Dr. Waterman explained our ability totranscend time and space I immediately knew what I would do next, I wanted to change thefuture, I wanted to be reunited with my father. My drawings were very specific. I wanted to havea simple relationship with my father, one that fostered open and honest communication where Icould finally have some questions answered. Then the class was asked to draw what we had todo to make our ideal panel possible. I drew myself as a rooted light being with arms extendedoutward and an expanding heart. I felt compelled to take action. During our lunch break Iemailed my family in Spain my phone number and asked for them to please help connect mewith my father. I put my request out into the cosmos and shortly after I had confirmation; avoicemail from my father after 26 years of silence. The voicemail led to a Skype conference calland since I have felt more joyful than I ever remember.ProcessPracticing the art of reflection and presence is an essential aspect of cohort transformation. How do webe with each other in a way that allows the whole of us to be present? Some of that is learning to useour judgments as information, and then sharing that from a basis of love and celebration.I also enjoyed sharing my weekly projects with a small group of classmates and hearing theirfeedback. None of my work was met with criticism or ridicule; every piece was met with love (it’simpossible to criticize or ridicule art without also criticizing and ridiculing its creator). In onesmall group in particular, after talking about our mandalas, we decided to get a couple of decksof animal cards from the library. We looked up the animals that had appeared in our mandalasto explore their symbolic and occasionally spiritual meaning. We chose animals from the deckthat spoke to us for some reason and discussed why we had chosen them. We all got ideas forour final mandalas. It was a fun and helpful exercise that pointed me in the direction that Iwanted to go in for my final projects.This student has a wonderful way of sharing her process with skill and finesse.One of my favorite memories was the discussion of V’s mandala. She did not particularly “like”the outcome, yet the images and their alignment resonated and vibrated her in a deep way.Most everyone in the class affirmed sensing her through this piece. It held a stunning appealwhether the images were defined as artistic or not. I have had previous classes with V, but thisclass in particular gave me a different experience of her. What was interesting about meeting149

her in a new way is that it didn’t involve the language of words. I have heard her give voice towhat specific “issues” plague her and I am usually up to date on her present day “problems.” Butmeeting her through the images allowed me to know her beyond a past, present or future story.The images allowed me to greet her beyond an ego personality. This new way of relating to heris more simple yet profound. For example, I see a moth and I can feel a depth in V – The end. It’shard to explain in words because it isn’t a cognitive or analytical experience. If anything it’sdifficult to detect exactly what caused this shift in relation to her. Maybe knowing why isn’tnecessary to know. Some of what this class has given me is a deepening of trust in the mysteryof what cannot be explained or rationally understood. And ohhh, how grateful I am for this.The ability to articulate that evolves in The Studio continues to amaze me. Sharing and beingpresent simply opens each of us to a level of profound wisdom, always shared in a healing way.I had a similar experience of transition in relation to A. I have had previous classes with her aswell and honestly I have judged her in the past because of her body size. Actually this is aprojection because I judge my own self worth based on body size. During a group process, Acasually mentioned adding a skull to her next mandala, but she was worried about the negativeconnotation associated with skulls. I watched her body language and I could feel her pull to addthis piece that obviously held deep meaning. So I encouraged her to add it. In fact I was jokinglyadamant and firm in saying “I want to see a skull next week!”Even though this student’s statement to the other is a bit pushy, it is a great example ofassertive humility: direct, loving, and powerful in the right moment and place.This exchange between us must have been impacting because she has thanked me at least threetimes. What I love about this experience is I was just wandering around and WAM! Spirit in metouched spirit in her. I know this because I wasn’t looking to “cause impact.” I can recognize thedifference between this and moments when I am in the grace of being used as a vessel intouching someone else. This exchange was powerful for me as well. One, because I trustedwhat I was sensing from her and I named it out loud. Two, meeting her beyond body sizenaturally came forth out of this situation and I’m not sure, but I believe doing so with herallowed me to touch a part of myself that isn’t judged based on physical appearance as well.When I talk with or see A now, the last thing I take note of is her physical size. When I look atany of the students in this class, oh my gosh, I think I am starting to see with my spiritual eye!The transference dance is always at play. Our presence conveys a profound sense of being seen.In my role, I am authority. I understand that I am an example of presence. Some students have theneed, and beautifully use the dance, to lift inwardly. That is not evident to them at first. So, I staypresent and watch the beloved play its way through until the ego relents and surrenders to self.150

Another student I had an “issue” with at the beginning of the quarter was S. I found her to becocky and my perception of her need for teacher’s approval was annoying. Actually she mirrorsmy own need for teacher’s approval. I have always used “authority” in the form of teachers tovalidate who I am. The two most vulnerable mandala pieces I did, she just happened to beincluded in the group when I shared. It always happens this way for me. I didn’t necessarilyhave to change or correct my perception of S. What I found instead is that by exposing my ownvulnerability with her, my judgments of her lessened.The dance goes on.Meeting my classmates through their mandalas provided a perspective that went past acognitive comparison. In the beginning, I remember judging who had more artistic skills. I alsojudged my mandalas as better than K’s and H’s but less than L’s and I’s. There were momentswhen I felt inferior and other moments when I felt superior. In the end, this comparisonjudgment fluttered away. I didn’t create this shift in perception because I figured out how tocorrect it. It shifted because the process revealed that there is room for all of us. Even placingan equal value statement seems silly now. There is room for all of us because there just is. Thisexperience will benefit me as a therapist, but it will also benefit me as I transition into year two.If I am not comparing who is going to make the “best” therapist and who should have chosenanother career path, then my energy can be invested into who I am as a therapist and thehuman being sitting in front of me. It won’t be consumed by trying to be like her but not likehim. Ah ha. This class provided firsthand experience of knowing there is room for all of who Iam. Not only is there room for who I am, but more and more I am starting to accept andsomewhat even adore this deeper essence in myself. This shift in relationship to myself shifts myperception of others as being threatening.Final MandalasThe final mandala, the Mandala of the Soul, is more than a picture of our consciousness. When weengage this mandala, we directly activate and attune our consciousness to that which it represents. Theconfiguration of the symbols and images of this mandala is the result of great refinement anddistillation. Because of this we can use them to balance, align and empower our lives. They are theculmination and the continuation of the Mandala Process. Though powerful, the mandalas are for now,for each subsequent now, and for also evolving and promulgating a continuing renewal of our life, inflesh with our life as soul.For my character painting I titled my representation “dancing moon-flower.” The moon comes upfor me more so than the sun. When I think about it the moon is mostly a reflection but has suchan impact on so much. I painted the center of the flower as a reflective moon. It is the sun thatthe moon reflects. The gold background of my moon flower is the rich warmth of the sun. That is151

an interesting duality to me. I transformed the sunflower to a moonflower andkept the sun aspect in my character by adding its illumination to thebackground. I have always felt more resonance with more delicate flowers.After trying to grow then and nurture them I have grown to respect morehearty wild flowers. To me that feels like a reflection of letting go of complexityand appreciating simplicity. Yet still there is a fantasy aspect to the flower thatfeels exciting in a pure form. The dance is a very slow dance of patience andflow that feels balanced and peaceful. The red petals are fiery which hadalways been an important element that I like creating and being around. Thatseems to resonate as who I am, a slow moon dancing being balancing fire.I think some of the magic going on in my curriculum drawing is me asthe sunflower trying to absorb some of the balance in the universe so that Ican bring it to life in myself. The roots are deep and the sunflower is veryopen, independent and calm. The scene being black and white feels alluringand peaceful with undisturbed magical spiritual creation far from surface realities of themundane.Presently, I am getting sucked into behavior that is not serving me. It is very strong anddeep. Going back to the feeling I had as a little girl when my grandmother told me about howshe was treated as a little girl. I had this fiery side to me that murderously wanted to go back intime and save my grandmother. I am getting into a very manipulating blaming game with thefather of my little girl. I can feel him gloating on the other end of the emails and when I makepunches back I can feel his suffering. I am getting so impatient with myself spending energy onthis but the fear of what he could get away with overrides it all. I feel so unloving in this furiousgame of attacking the other. I know I am a powerful person. I just feel so contracted fromexpanding out into that when I allow myself to get sucked into this behavior. I keep looking to mycurriculum piece for insight. What draws me in most right now is the mermaid sorceress with theankh. I keep thinking about how it is the key to unlocking the mysteries of life. If I could justunravel a tiny bit of this mystery I would feel a bit more freed up. Compassionately watching likethe peacock I am sure would serve me best but I am having such a hard time embodying thatway of being.Things have been unraveling bit by bit. At the end of last year, I did some work with myadolescent self who I thought to be nothing but trouble. What I gained from that work was toaccept her and her gifts of being braver and less domesticated. I did not realize till just recentlythat I have some work to do with my childhood self.When I think of when I was a child the thought of paradise comes up for me. I neverunderstood why we are not deserving of paradise. When I was about 10 years old or so a Baptistpreacher, at the altar in front of the entire congregation, boasted about how he once put awoman in her place since in his view “women are the ones who got us exiled from the garden.”That is very interesting because I had thought maybe I did the wrong destiny mandala. TheGarden of Eden has always been my wish or destiny and I feel very drawn to creating a Garden ofEden mandala. Somehow to me the garden seems like it would hold an ideal space for growth of152

the anima and animus together.The male and female aspects are very present in my curriculum mandala. The mermaidsorceress is working from the water with some kind of power from the moon. The moon is fullwith a sliver of it brightly reflecting the brilliance of the peacock. I see the fresh new creationstars as a merging of the male and female energies of the sorceress and the peacock. Thesorceress rides a wave as she works because she is the one who knows the magic of this creation.The peacock patiently awaits on the pedestal because its gifts are unknown but luminous. Thepeacock is also a protective symbol for me since it eats the snakes in the garden. Finding thisbalance within myself would make the peacock feel less out of reach. The Buddhist symbolismfor the peacock is that the thousand eyes are eyes of watchful compassion. The peacock has atransformative candle/fire quality so it holds the element of fire. The eye of Houris is floatingand upholding the symbol of Nephthys. Nephthys is the goddess who cares for the heart andmind during transformation from the earthly body to the underworld which resonates with mypath as a counselor. She is also a protector figure.The sunflower’s roots form a chalice for spiritual birth and most likely would benefit frombeing impregnated by the swirly stars. I am just having a hard time being in the space of thiscreation. I can look at it, I can stare at it but I feel far from it. Like it will be forever before I reachsuch a space. Holding the knowing that in spite of whatever darkness may overtake me thatthere is still beauty and hope and tiny, wonderful things that could happen at any moment is animportant part of my curriculum. Acknowledging and accepting my own beauty is anotherlesson that I have yet to learn. Butterflies are beautiful without effort or self-consciousness. Iknow that I possess beauty, but I do not yet allow it. I am able to see the incredible beauty in allof the creatures on my mandala. My journey is to let myself see some of my own beauty.153

For my final character mandala, I started with ahorse, but for some reason, I decided that Ineeded to make it a very special horse, and theway to do that was to make him a unicorn. So Iadded a golden horn to his head and gave him asilver and gold mane and tail. The unicorn is amagical symbol, one of beauty, pride, grace,strength and protection. Like a unicorn, I amunique in some incredibly beautiful ways, andam not quite comfortable expressing either myuniqueness or my awareness of my uniqueness.I do not wish to set myself apart from others, orclaim to be better than anyone else, justdifferent or special in a wonderful, quirky andunexpected way.I don’t do things like everyone else does,and I have no desire to. I am independent and original, and I am proud of that, even if notcompletely sure of how to be special in a world that values conformity and would steer me in anordinary direction. I fear being seen as prideful or arrogant, but I just know that there issomething about me that is entirely, uniquely one hundred percent me, untouched anduninfluenced by the dysfunction of my culture, and I celebrate and embrace that fact when noone else is looking.I knew that I wanted a whale on my final character mandala, so I drew a large bluewhale. I wasn’t quite happy with how it turned out; the angle of its head was wrong, and it wasmissing something. I remembered back to when I was a child visiting Sea World and wouldwatch with intense envy as a child (never me) was chosen from the audience to give the killerwhale a kiss on the nose. I wanted tokiss that whale more than anything inthe world at that moment. I decided todraw myself ‘kissing’ the blue whale.The image is a dream; wrapping myarms around the nose of a blue whale,feeling its skin under mine, just being inits enormous presence would be theexperience of a lifetime. Because I fearthe ocean, I doubt that this will everhappen to me. But something about theimage is so wonderfully indicative ofme, of my capacity to love and the waythat I hold the animal world in thehighest esteem.154

The final images I drew on my character mandala were of some of my favorite flowers.Like the moths and the Blue Morpho on my curriculum mandala, these are flowers that I findexceptionally beautiful. Orchids are common; they thrive on almost every continent, but they areunique in the world of flowering plants. They have a different way of feeding than mostflowering plants. They have a delicate beauty, even though they tend to be hardy, though somevarieties of orchids remain elusive and refuse to thrive in captivity. I relate to the orchid’scombination of beauty and complexity. They are also strikingly sexual, and when I took a goodlook at the orchids I drew, I recognized they resembled healthy vulvas. I suppose I wasinadvertently expressing my own sexuality, which is complex and beautiful as well.I decided to include a Bird of Paradise in my character mandala as well. It’s anotherflower that embodies the most beautiful of what nature has to offer. Its colors are striking, itsshape unique among flowers. It’s exotic and tropical; a treat to see even as a cut flower in thedesert. I’m less certain about what this flower expresses about my character, but it resonateswith me on a deep level. My character mandala is somehow less ‘cut and dry’ to me than mycurriculum mandala, but in a way, that’s perfect. I am still a stranger to myself in some ways,and continue to discover things about myself that are delightful as well as things that troubleme. I am complicated and colorful; as I look back on my character mandala, I just want to stareat it. I want to take it all in. I am mystified, surprised and delighted by it, with just the slightestdisapproval, which is about how I appraise myself.My final two mandalas were testaments to this renewed fervor for the world around me as wellas in myself. It is abstract and concrete in the same sentence. I wanted to include everythingwhich I feel is part of me and part of the world. So I included my version of the sky, the city, thewilderness, plants, animals, and me.The imagery of science has always intrigued me. The pictures inside biology books ofinsects and plants and dissected parts of the human body were always so beautiful to me.Microscopic pictures of blood cells and cavernous insides of the body look like stunninglandscapes, and they are. Satellite images ofearth and other planets, other galaxies andgreat celestial events are so moving andhumbling. It seems that everything, verylarge or very small, looks like something else,creating a kind of unity for me. These insightshelp me to blend heart and mind because Irealize that I can find spirit in everything fromart therapy to astronomy. I realize that I havealways done this, its part of my nature. AtSouthwestern I find that I am encouragedquite often to “get out of my brain and sinkin” in order to feel something rather thanthink it through. I understand this and have155

spent quite a bit of time in the wisdom of myheart. And this quarter, I have allowed myselfto revel in the learning of my mind. I nowwant to connect the joy of my heart with theexcitement of knowledge in my mind.My nature of being a constant seekerwill assist me in counseling. Not only am Icurious about the world, but genuinely ofother people and how they experience it. Idon’t think there will ever be a time when I’llfeel I know enough. There are so manyexperiences to be had which the heart learnsfrom, and so many new things to discoverwhich the mind learns from. They can exercisetogether. My mandalas have brought me tothis conclusion. I’m starting to realize whatthey mean to me. I only said a word or twoabout it during our presentations. I’m happy Ihad the time afterward to really look at them alone and see them clearly. They represent thesynergy I want/have between my heart and my mind.Clearly, after this class, I will not be able to ramble off symbols and their absolutemeanings. But, I will however, be able to sustain my interest in the world of symbology andarchetypes. I see their fluid, universal meaning because I had the experience of relating to myselfthrough them spontaneously. I am starting to imagine what wisdom is. I see art in a whollydifferent way. I see it manifesting itself from the inside out in all of us. I have learned how tolisten to someone and truly hear what they are saying, to be patient and let them reveal what itis they long to reveal. I have left this section of my schooling with fervor toward the future andwho I am becoming.While in class, I discovered many new and different symbols that I wanted in my mandalas. I feltthat a horse was one of the most important things in my mandala. The horse symbolizesstrength, energy and heart. I have always owned a horse and truly understand their innerbeauty. Horses are so big, but they have an incredible ability to be loving and kind to humans.They also have a strong inner spirit that is unique to them and if a person is in tune with this,they can have a deep and beautiful relationship with them.I also felt that a butterfly was very important to me because it symbolizes change and ametamorphic response. As a young child I would collect butterflies. I felt that they held so muchbeauty, but they were very delicate and could perish very easily. I also do not know any otheranimal that starts as one animal and ends up as another animal. This has always fascinated meand filled me with wonder and appreciation for the butterfly.156

While in class we alsodiscussed how important it was tomake the picture into something thatrelated to your essence. I feel like I ama person that embraces her girly side.In class, Waterman expressed how hewanted me to make my human relatemore to the physical person that I am.This was very powerful because once Iplaced myself into the drawing thepicture became alive and had a largeamount of energy and meaning.While doing severalmeditations from the book, I was ableto identify my animal. I was able tovisualize this beautiful golden cat. Thiscat had yellow an d orange stripesthroughout its body. It was strong, elegant, beautiful, sleek, and sexy. I felt that this cat had aplace in my painting.I felt that a symbol of a fish was a very important thing for my character mandalabecause I love the ocean and miss the smells, sounds and feelings that the ocean brings to me. Ifeel at home when I am around the beach and it is a very nostalgic feeling being around theocean.The more I studied symbols I felt a deeper connection with the many different animalsthat live with me. I seem to always draw birds. I feel that the bird is a symbol of soul. I love howbirds can fly and see the world from a different perspective. I felt that this is a quality that I wantto embrace.My assignment for the class was to complete two different mandalas. The first mandalawas to look at my character while the second was to look at my journey. While painting my finalmandalas, I was able to incorporate all of these important symbols. I really felt that it wasimportant to be shown naked because this was showing my true self wit out all the genericqualities I show everyday.My final mandala had two different backgrounds. I felt that this was an importantaspect in creating my final mandalas. I felt one needed to be colorful and one needed to beshown in space. I felt that by having both my mandalas represent different things I would be ableto show how different and important both mandalas were to me in my journey.In the final drawings, I was able to place myself in the middle of each of the pictures andI felt that this was a huge change in my journey. I was able to personalize my work in a differentway than before. I was able to incorporate things that were important to me and also placemyself in the drawing to show my journey and character.157

In my character mandala,I wanted to show light, time andmother earth. I felt this was agreat way to place all of myimportant symbols that Ipreviously discussed. I drew myselfin the middle of the painting andplaced butterfly wings on my back.I felt this was symbolic of myconstant change. I also placed alarge clock in my hands to showmy life clock.By placing my animalsaround me I felt that I was secureand in a very special place. I alsoloved the large hand that I laidupon in the drawing. The hand feltlike father time and it felt very masculine and safe. The hand was very clear and pure. It waspouring bright clear colors from the fingertips. This rainbow color represented the state of mind Iwant to have and be present with.My journey mandala was set in a timeless scene. I placed myself riding a comet in themiddle of space. I made a beautiful moon to symbolize the female and worldly cycles. Within thismandala I placed the world covered with flames. I felt that it was showing all the turmoil thatthe world is experiencing.Atop of the world I placed my big beautiful horse. His power was calming and balancing.His tail dripped clear clean water that was used to put the fire out on earth. I felt that a butterflywas appropriate for my horse. This butterfly brings change.In the middle of the world there is my golden triangle. This was my symbol of how Iwanted to share love and stop the hate in the world. It is spreading good clean energy. Thegolden triangle pours over the fire and into the universe. This mandala was used as my journeyand I feel it is a beautiful way to express where I have been and where I am going. (E, Class 2010)PresentationOur hearts, hands and focus create a visual cauldron in which our mandala takes form. We receive.Paper receives. The inner and outer studios merge. Orchestrating the class to the final crescendo is aprocess that would be impossible if it were not for my relationship to my greater self, and to thecollegial format, in which self, at all levels, is in constant relationship. In the final presentation, we invitefriends, colleagues and family to participate with us. In this way, we can stand up within ourselves andtake our discovery into new dimensions, taking a stronger place as a force in the world and an advocacy158

for that which is good and great within ourselves, as the gift of self to life. When we are centered andspeak with confidence from our hearts, there is no room for fear, and our presence itself istransformative.While presenting these mandalas in class I realized I felt very proud of them. In my life Ihave been objectified and I have objectified myself as sexy, pretty and as a physical object ratherthan a subject. Presenting my art offered me a new way to feel proud of myself as well as myinner beauty. The presentation was such a profound experience on many levels. One level wasallowing myself to be so vulnerable, those mandalas are a physical representation of my psycheand I put them up in front of the whole room, (including my husband!) to see. It felt safe and Ifelt held while presenting. When Dr. Waterman asked me to stand in front of my charactermandala I gazed at it softly before closing my eyes. I felt a surge of self-love rise up through me.I wanted to embrace the vibrant painting of my character. It was a beautiful feeling to realizehow much vibrancy and energy I carry around this world with my small frame.As I stood there, in front of my character mandala, with my eyes closed I felt myselfconnect deeply with the mother earth. Simultaneously, I stretched deep into the earth andreached high into the cosmos. When I opened my eyes I felt huge and ecstatically happy. Ilooked out at the people in the classroom and felt certain of my message for them. I wanted toremind everyone to play and be silly. I think playing and being silly serves me because it allowsme to be present and childlike, without fear of judgment. I have taken that message with meand have intentionally given myself time to play and let go of useless inhibitions.And So It IsThe understanding that this was my final mandala without knowing what it all meantright away was a deep relief, and looking at it now I see that all of those aspects are there. It’slike looking in a mirror when I look at it. I can’t always see with my eyes everything that makesme who I am, but the essence is there. I may not be able to see the light pouring into the top ofmy head or the light emanating from my body, but it is there. I can see it in this image of myself,and this is the image of wholeness and love that I started searching for six months ago in DeathValley. With cosmos hidden behind me, and the light and color pouring in and vibrating out, Ican see clearly that I am indeed whole and that I truly, deeply love myself.This class has been a sort of home coming for me. I have begun to remember who I am bydialoguing with my high self and fully occupying my energetic and physical body. As an aspiringcounselor this class has opened my eyes to the vast possibilities of reality as well as the differentfields of perception. Since drawing these mandalas I have become exposed to the idea of astralprojection, pre-cognitive dreaming and many other ideas that had been foreign to me. My eyeshave been opened to the therapeutic potential of art. Dr. Waterman’s unique perspective on thehuman condition has shown me a new way of working with clients; honoring their trials and159

tribulations as opportunities for growth and choice. My own process has been life changing andmy mandalas continue to enlighten me.I can see now how powerful a tool art can be to the process of therapy. I plan on taking myfinished mandalas in to show my therapist, as it is a side of me that she certainly has never seen,and we’ve worked together for a while now. She is not an art therapist, but has offered me theoption to try to express feelings and thoughts in a non-verbal way. I have refused every time. Byrevealing my art to her, I will reveal more of my complete self to her.I thoroughly enjoyed the last day of class. Presenting my mandalas was challenging, andI’m not exactly sure what I said about them during my presentation, but I was proud to showthem off, and like what they convey about me. I also enjoyed seeing everyone else’s finishedproducts, and most of all, hearing the feedback from the guests at the end of the presentations.There was something very tender and emotional about the process of revealing the mandalas tothe group, and the guests seemed to honor the process. All of them seemed moved by it, and Iwas moved by their kind words and their insight. I can see now why we were encouraged toinvite people.As usual, my heart is heavy about the class ending. It has been another incrediblejourney at Southwestern, another group of individuals that may never converge again. Welearned so much about each other; it was an honor to witness the process of my classmates asthe quarter progressed. This class is especially sentimental, as it marks the end of my first year.As I finish this paper, as I type these words, I am officially completing the last assignment fromthis last quarter. I will go on my Vision Quest, and when I return, I will start year two, which willbe an entirely different journey than year one. I am one year into grad school, and having at onetime doubted very seriously that I would even finish my undergraduate degree, I am thrilled.This class has totally changed my life and was the most interesting process to personal selfdiscovery of my unconscious mind. …Looking back now as I stare at my final mandala, I amtotally amazed at how this process unfolded and I came to be totally comfortable in my skin. Aswell as come to terms with the feelings that for so long had been pushed down and avoided. ...Ibegan to feel something within my body shift, but I wasn’t sure what it was, just thought it wasthe stress of home, school and traveling. That’s when the center of my mandala emerged withme in a red dress with wings surrounded by the colors of the chakras. I wanted balance in my lifeand everything in this mandala depicted my inner feelings. My body had wings like a fairy whowanted to fly away from the stress of dealing with my life. …We were discussing the differencebetween what our character and destiny mandala meant. … I described what I thought was mycharacter mandala and then things I had repressed for so long began to emerge. I began todiscuss my feelings and what had transpired with my husband over the last five years along withthe last year of going here to Southwestern. All of my life I feel I have put up walls aroundmyself (including my weight) to protect myself from outside feelings and hurt anddisappointments. I did not acknowledge my wild side while growing up, since it was notacceptable to act different. The things that I wanted to do when I was right out of high school160

were shot down by my father, who made me feel dirty and unaccepted for my true feelings. Ithen put everything and everyone in front of what I truly wanted to do and wanted in my life inorder to please my family and my father. I did everything by the book and never took any risks inorder to avoid being seen or causing any disappointment to my family. …I have, for practicallymy whole life, held back my true feelings especially my anger. I don’t think I can recall a time Itotally lost it and let it out. So it was this mandala and this class that I feel was the biggest breakthrough into finally stepping into my skin and letting go. I truly feel that this mandala healed apart of me that I had for so long repressed. Repressing my feelings has not served my highestgood and in fact has caused a lot more turmoil than I was willing to admit. But the process ofcreating this mandala has cleared a big block for me and that is trusting my own inner knowingand acknowledging my true feelings. The one thing I think is the greatest gift from workingthrough this process is being able to feel comfortable in my own skin and not having to hidebehind a veil.161

Chapter ElevenWRITINGS FROM THE STUDIOThe writings in this chapter are by students from the Archetypal Psychology course at SouthwesternCollege. This is a small sample. Rather, small in number and large in consciousness. My purpose is tochoose writings that, taken together, give a full sense of the experience. I want to convey thesophistication of the understanding and level of consciousness through which these students participatein their lives. The Studio is a crucible of transformation and these writings represent the wisdom thatresults from that process. For me, these writings are medicine. Perhaps they will serve you as well.I Am GratefulI forgive myself for believing I am unable to write a good paper. Deep Breath...Allow me to begin by describing the setting in which I write. It’s around 10 in the morning and Iam sitting at the dining room table and there is a cool early fall breeze coming in through the open frontdoor. Porridge, the cat, is on the window sill drinking water. There is a church bell ringing in the distanceand the wind chimes are sounding along with the breeze in the trees and the birds are singing to eachother. My belly is full of warm oatmeal and my body is content, if a little fidgety from the coffee. I havea pile of books stacked on the table to my right and my coffee and water on the table to my left. I amprepared for the task at hand. I look over the top of my laptop and see the bikes outside the window,leaning against the wall. The prayer flags hanging above them are dancing gently in the breeze, andthere are shadows playing with the sunlight shining on them. Breathing in, I recognize my gratitude forthis setting, for this moment, for this opportunity to communicate in writing my experiences inArchetypal Psychology this past summer. Breathing out, I let go of any expectation I have of writing aperfect paper, of what a paper is supposed to look and feel like.A letter to my professor :Dear Robert,Six months ago, I went to Death Valley in California to go on a Vision Quest. I stated asmy intention, “I am whole and I love myself.” The four days that I spent by myself in the desertwithout food were the first steps to realizing the truth of my statement, of my intention. This ismy lifelong quest, to remember my wholeness and to remember my love. On our last day ofclass together, you asked me what I like most about myself. You encapsulated my experience inthis class in that question. I hesitated, told a story, deflected, embarrassed to answer thatquestion in front of others. I answered, finally, that I have a lot of love to give. The answer wastrue, but in reflection I see that I am also on the receiving end of that love. What I like mostabout myself is that I truly and deeply love myself, and by doing so I am able to truly and deeplylove others. It is now simply a matter of remembering that love. How better to remember thatlove than through learning about sacred geometry, spiritual archetypes, and healing mandalas.162

Well there are many ways to remember, but this class was a powerful way to get in touch withlove, to connect with my own creativity, to see myself in others, and to continue on my path towholeness. For all of this I thank you.I took on the shy, cautious role at the beginning of the quarter. I had heard a lot about thismysterious Doctor Waterman and his archetypal class. Of course expectations should be left at theentryway to any experience, but it’s not always easy to do. I had heard that Doctor Waterman wasintense and direct. I had been warned to be careful with what I say because he might go right to thatvulnerable place inside on the spot. I witnessed something like this in the first class and something insidetold me to stay quiet and hidden. I did not want to be exposed. Then I found myself feelingdisconnected. As the class progressed, I watched as other students were expanding in their exposure,growing in their light. At times I felt like I was faking it, like my artistic background was a disadvantage,like all the technique I was throwing in was taking me further and further away from the truth, from theessence. I looked around at my classmates and watched them grow in their creative expression, in theirability to tune in, and in the encouragement and support they were given. Somehow in this observation Ioverlooked my own growth and the encouragement I was given. I saw myself projecting so much ontoDoctor Waterman, the teacher, the powerful male authority figure, the grade giver, the one who judgesmy writing, my artwork, my authenticity, and my participation. Doctor Waterman, the truth teller, theone who finds the core and sticks to it, the one who digs up fear and looks at it, the one hears and seesbeyond sound and sight. I got scared. I didn’t want to be seen or heard or exposed or judged or leftbehind. I didn’t want to fail, for failing means not being good enough and not being good enough meansnot being loved, and not being loved means not deserving to live. I forgive myself for believing that if Ifail, I don’t deserve to live. Deep Breath.My first mandala from the color meditation that we did at the beginning of the quarter wasreally a study on how to include every color in the meditation. There is also something about this shape -the drop of water, the flower petal, one half of a figure eight, or a section of a spider’s body. Because ofthe colors, I see the shape as a drop of water reflecting light, or a close-up view of a rainbow. If these aredrops of water, the color clear from the meditation is also included. Perhaps there are two because ofthe dual nature of life. The silver, turquoise, and gold are included outside of the drop shapes as smalldots and curvy lines, perhaps because I viewed these colors as more solid - stone and metal - rather thanlight. So the colors of the rainbow are within the drop shapes as representations of light and the colorsoutside the shapes are included as containers for the dropsof light, providing a conduit for the light, like our bodies.The water, metals, minerals, and matter are within ourbodies, containing and reflecting the light.From the exercise in creating images for positiveand negative experiences in physical, emotional, intellectual,spiritual, and social aspects of our lives, we createdmandalas containing all of these experiences. This was apowerful lesson in the beauty and importance of the“negative.” I was able to visually see the necessary inclusion163

of shadow to m ake an image congruent and whole. Much ofmy artwork lately has reflected my desire to discard and ignorethe darkness and fill the page with only light. To intentionallyadd shadow helped me recognize its presence and value.In our first weekend class, we created a couple ofmandalas inspired by meditations. The healing that came fromboth of these is immense. To have these images to turn to asreminders of the peace residing within is a blessing. I can lookat the heart, my own heart image, which contains the balanceof sun and moon, earth and water, night and day, held by theblood. The drops of water containing light that I created as myfirst mandala came together in this image of my heart. Theimage of the little girl in the pink dress wearing angel wingsand pigtails came from the meditation on the pineal gland. Iwas not expecting to find my inner child in my head, but thereshe was, dancing andglowing with joy. Both ofthese images areincredibly healing for me.I am happy to havewalked away from thatweekend with thesemandalas, directreflections of my ownpower to heal and lovemyself.My next mandala was an attempt to make a “real mandala” - a mandala that fit my idea ofwhat a mandala was supposed to be. I started with a circle and went from there. This mandala includesthe elements and cycles of growth, within and without, above and below. The star flower in the centercould be a representation of the body. As the quarter progressed, I was realizing more and more howthe body, my body is what connects me to the elementsand cycles, to earth, air, fire, water, energy and light.This mandala was a step closer to that recognition. I sawthis center flower as just that, and now I can see it as arepresentation of my body and my Self at the center ofmovement, growth, change, birth and death.After seeing what students had done in the pastfor their final mandalas, my idea of what a mandala wassupposed to look like shifted. I started working on animage in class and went back to it the next day, which is164

unusual for me. I tend to finish an image in onesitting. I’m glad we were given the assignment tostart something and go back to it because I love theimage that came out of it and this allowed me to letgo of the idea that something had to be done rightaway. There is so much energy in this image. Thecenter reminds me of a fetus, a curled up seed withinan explosion of light and movement, all encircled byblue orbs and drops. The blue acting as a calmingand containing energy around the pouring out ofpinks, oranges, and yellows. This was a fun image tocreate and it is satisfying to look at.The second mandala I made that week is softer, but still has a lot of movement. The green beingseems to be swaying, picked up by the gust of light blue below. The red is growing heart by heart aroundthe orange light. The purple orb is glowing in thecorner. The dark blue is the composer, and theyellow background is witness to it all. It’s just colors,but it seems to be an encapsulated moment ofexpression, and this image brings contentment whenI look at it.The following week I wanted to share mylove affair with my garden. I still go out every day towitness the life that is constantly buzzing. There areso many little beings to witness, so much growth andchange that happens every day. I feel deeplyconnectedto thisgarden and can see myself, my body in the plants and insectsand shadows and light. I started out with a quick study of aview of the garden from where I usually do art. I am alwaysamazed at how I can live surrounded by other buildings andpeople and still look out to see my quiet, peaceful gardenbuzzing with bees.The second image I made was so different from thegarden image. This image reminds me of the first mandala.The rainbow of light moving out in spirals contained only by thepage may be a blade of grass from my garden magnified. Theprogression from red at the bottom to white at the top followsthe chakras in my body, connecting my body to that blade ofgrass. Again in my mandala I have light, movement, and mybody, what else is there?165

The representation of my connection to life became even moreclear in the following week’s mandala. I did a guided meditation oncolor and light within the body and created this image out of thatmeditation. The sacred geometry of the five pointed star, and the lifegivingproperties of the five petaled flower are included, along withthe chakras within the body and the rainbow of light radiating out ofthe five extensions of the body. This was the first time I included blackin any of my images, and it seems to balance the image as well asprovide shadow and contrast. This is also the first time I included arepresentation of my physical body in a clear form. This image felt likeit was the closest to my character mandala that I had come allquarter. This imagehas the quality ofcontaining all of the elements of life, a truerepresentation of my own essence as a being. I feeldeeply connected to this image. I see now how I wasalso inspired by theflowers in my garden.Specifically the hollyhocks.The hollyhock has fivepetals and a five pointedstar. I could see my bodywithin the star in thehollyhock and feel the lightfrom the sun shiningthrough.The following week, I felt like I had alreadyreached my highest point. The last mandala I had donewas as far as I could go and part of me started to believeI was making it all up. I felt the self-judgment creep inthat I didn’t know what I was doing. I was at a point of comparing myself to others in the class andbelieving that they had reached some kind of epiphany or shift and that I wasn’t there yet, or couldn’tget there. I did a guided meditation to find a healing symbol and didn’t feel connected to the image Imade. I didn’t understand it and I didn’t think it was beautiful in the way I thought my other mandalashad been. I look at this image now and see five five pointed stars radiating out of what could be eyes.There is a radiance feeling in the whole image, and while it may not contain all of the colors of therainbow, I can see how this image is beautiful and healing. The eyes are wide open and seeing. Thestars are shining in their life-giving qualities. This is an open and radiating image. I can see that when Ilet go of the judgment.After creating the healing symbol mandala, I made two other images hoping to come closer tothe aha! mandala, the final character or curriculum mandala. Having removed the veil of self judgment I166

can now see these images as beautiful in their own right. Theywere not meant to be my final mandala, but they were importantsteps to the end. I was playing with color and light and shadowand movement still at this point in the quarter. I wasn’t ready tolet go of the playful part of drawing mandalas. I wanted to beready to hand something in and be finished, but these needed tobe made as more free expressions. The drop shapes and spiralsand inclusion of all the rainbow colors needed one final expressionbefore my final mandala. Even though these images came with alot of self-judgment, I can see their beauty now and feel deeplyconnected to their unique healing qualities.My last mandala came as a surprise. I was struggling withideas for my final mandala for a long time. I had learned so muchthroughout the quarter about my intuition, my essence, mycharacter, and my journey. I had an astrology reading, I was consulting my medicine cards, learningabout my totem animals, doing tarot readings, meditating, learning about sound and light and energyand alternate realities and soul and spiritand earth and cosmos. There was somuch I felt I had to include in my imageto make it mean something, to make itcomplete. I felt a lot of stress over thisfinal mandala, a final masterpiece as Ithought of it. It was two days before ourlast class when I sat and talked with myfriend about the assignment I had to getdone. She said something aboutsimplicity, about the beauty in simplicityand I saw my final mandala in my mind’seye immediately. Her reminder aboutsimplicity helped me create my finalmandala. I took my time the next coupleof days creating the self-portrait. I felt arelease in knowing what the image wasand that it didn’t have to include aseparate symbol for every aspect of mybeing - my totem animals, myastrological chart, my plant connections,my healer qualities, my life and deathcycles, my dualities, etc. Theunderstanding that this was my finalmandala without knowing what it all167

meant right away was a deep relief, and looking at it now I see that all of those aspects are there. It’slike looking in a mirror when I look at it. I can’t always see with my eyes everything that makes me who Iam, but the essence is there. I may not be able to see the light pouring into the top of my head or thelight emanating from my body, but it is there. I can see it in this image of myself, and this is the image ofwholeness and love that I started searching for six months ago in Death Valley. With cosmos hiddenbehind me, and the light and color pouring in and vibrating out, I can see clearly that I am indeed wholeand that I truly, deeply love myself.Each moment is a new opportunity to remember. I forgive myself for sometimes forgetting.Deep Breath. I re-member my body, my five-pointed star, and I am grateful.In simplicity and love,(S, class 2010)BECOMING MORE MY AUTHENTIC SELFWhen I first looked at the syllabus I groaned when I saw that there was a “Materials” section,complete with drawing pad and oil pastels. I’m not an artist! I thought. How am I ever going to getthrough doing this much art? The thought of struggling through making art and then sharing it in classwith my peers where I would most certainly be judging my art against other people’s was daunting andfrustrating. This, however, was not my experience of the class at all. What transpired in this class was somuch more than just “making art,” it was almost as if I was making my own destiny, creating it andwatching it unfold at the same time.Through the process of drawing the mandalas I felt that I became a more authentic version ofmyself. My first real experience of this came during our weekend session. I had just completed a mandalawith our positive and negative experience images prior to the session. I had used tools to make perfectcircles, straight lines, and exact spacing between them. I had penciled and erased until it was balancedand lined up exactly on the page. In the exercise during the class we completed a meditation and thenwere asked to draw a rendition of the meditation. For the first time I left the rulers, compasses, pencilsand erasers behind and just allowed myself to draw free-form using the pastels. What came out on thepage actually surprised me greatly. It had a light, free quality to it without the premeditation of how Iwanted it to look in the final stage. And it was beautiful, and it was me. I really saw myself in thatmandala. Not the exacting, calculating, cognitive person that I had seen in the other mandala, which ison the one hand me, but I saw this other, more gentle and intuitive side of myself. I began to understandhow the drawing itself was a mirror to my inner landscape.The feeling of authenticity that started that day continued throughout the quarter. In many waysI was also watching my peers become more of their authentic selves too. I began to see how the artmaking process opens up different channels to deeper knowing. Drawings began to resonate with theircreators, and creators began to light up as they talked about their mandalas. In the final mandalapresentation it was so apparent to me how each person’s mandala(s) so perfectly mirrored their soulselves. In many ways I came to understand that the mandala process is totally reflective of who we allare because whatever ends up on the page came from somewhere inside of us. Whether it was contrived168

eforehand or just ended up on the page, there was an origin of that spark, that idea, that image. Ibegan to grasp this concept more fully near the end of the quarter. I was wondering where to start onone of my mandalas and I became inspired by the thangka paintings we have in our living room. Icreated a piece with a Buddha, a koi fish, a lotus flower and an altar candle. I was surprised at thepositive response I got from the class because the mandala had felt so contrived to me. I feltdisconnected to the drawing because it contained images that didn’t hold a lot of meaning for me at thatmoment. But what happened after that was that I was able to start work on my final curriculummandala which ended up being bright, colorful, and almost wistful, without a premeditated picture in mymind. I was able to really let go and let my hands move freely across the page telling the story of mysoul’s desire to “let go” more. Putting the energy into the Buddha mandala that felt contrived to meactually opened up another channel that allowed to me to be more free when I created my finalmandala.. Creating the Buddha mandala was just a stepping stone to the creation of my final mandala,and having drawn something that felt so premeditated that one time precluded me from needing to goback and do it again. I liken the experience to the phrase, “Been there, done that.”One of the most helpful aspects of the class was the freedom to play with the mandalas andallow for whatever needed to come up in the drawings. It was through this process that I actually triednew things that seemed so minute but actually had much larger ramifications. For example, I began totest out drawing without a pencil outline. One of my favorite mandalas was of two Native Americanfigures holding a brown ball surrounded by bright colors within the earth. As I reflected back on the pieceafter drawing it I could see how this piece represented my family. Not my family as in my parents orrelatives, but the family that my husband and I were starting with our dog. I was able to tap into amaternal instinct that I didn’t know I had so strongly because I haven’t had a desire for children all of myadult life. But I realized that there are other ways of acknowledging and expressing those instincts thanjust through being a mother. Having the freedom to play with the colors and shapes without the need topredetermine everything in pencil first led me to create one of my favorite mandalas because of themessage it holds. And this maternal instinct which I had previously neglected and denied became onemore part of myself that I could acknowledge and integrate into my authentic self.In reviewing both of my final mandalas I think that they absolutely reflect me. My charactermandala is a geometric mandala that reflects how I view and organize the world. It also demonstratescertain strengths such as an ability to be logical, rational, mathematical and calculating. For manymonths I’ve tried to downplay those skills, harboring shame and trying to hide their existence. But as thisart form doesn’t lie, I am confronted with these aspects of myself in my drawings and through thisprocess have more fully accepted and owned them, thereby becoming an even greater iteration of myauthentic self. I cannot deny that this mandala represents me. This came out so clearly during theprocess of making this mandala. I became utterly inspired by the information found in our sacredgeometries studies, and began working with rulers, protractors, and compasses to create a different typeof mandala. I became totally fixated in the process of measuring, calculating, making sure it wasbalanced from every possible direction. I became so engrossed in the process that time seemed to vanish;what I thought was ten minutes turned out to be an hour! And I noticed that during the process I wasn’tthinking of anything in particular. It was like my mind was clear of chatter, and the mandala was the onlything I could concentrate on. In some ways it felt like a trance, so that when I came out of the creation169

process I had to re-ground myself to the present moment. Even though I was somewhat unhappy withthe colors of this first geometric mandala, after creating it I knew, in that body-feeling, mind-clear,intuitive way that this type of drawing was to be my character mandala. Indeed the process of creatingmy final character mandala was very similar in its ability to draw me in, yet I was more pleased with theoutcome because I stayed more true to myself. In the first geometric drawing I didn’t want to put anycolor on it, yet I did anyway because I thought it wasn’t enough to just have done the outline. And thenafter I colored it in I was so disappointed in myself! So for the final mandala I played around with shadingin color, and chose colors to represent the chakra centers. When it was done I was actually stunned athow beautiful it looked in its balance between simplicity and complexity, between the color and the lightand dark spaces. It felt as though it was vibrating, up and down, in and out, as I looked at it, the energymoving in and through the center of the drawing. Feeling this resonance I knew that this would be mycharacter mandala.I had a much different experience creating my curriculum mandala. About three weeks beforeour final class I began to understand what my curriculum, my destiny, my life’s goal really was: to let go.How easy and challenging at the same time, and how frustrating, as this had emerged near thebeginning of the quarter in my own therapeutic process with my husband! It was through work with ourtherapist that I realized that I had/have trust issues! Not necessarily in the big issues like infidelity, butlittle things that added to big things, like mistrusting whether or not he was going to take out the trash.It’s the cumulative nature of these little things that results in my need to control people and outcomesand to shape them into the way I want things to look. When I find myself needing to control I realize it’sbecause I’m not trusting the process or the outcome. This is a big issue that pervades many areas of mylife, so when this began coming up more and more I realized that this was not going to go away until Ireally gave it some thought. Additionally, I also feel like controlling prevents me from enjoying the lifearound me. These issues as well as their resolution comprise my destiny mandala. It is a desire of mine tolet go, experience more freedom, and allow more joy into my life, and I knew that I wanted to capturethis concept in my final curriculum mandala. I began to see images of what this looked like, and keptseeing a version of myself letting go of something that was no longer needed, such as roles, attitudes,and beliefs that no longer serve me for the purpose of living out this new reality that I want for myself. Ialso saw myself reaching upward, grabbing onto the life that contains this freedom. When I sat down todraw this I knew I wanted to have my body in the picture both simultaneously letting go and reaching up.At first I had myself holding and letting go of a cloak, to symbolize the letting go of a part of myself. Butsomehow it morphed into a shell—I didn’t even know it was a shell until I was done! I actually just letmyself express what my hands wanted to without the judgment of the mind, and what came out was asymbol that holds a variety of meanings. Then I made myself reaching up, pulling down and inward thisnew life, and in doing so exposing the bright energy that can unfold if I just let it. I created the brightlight using the oil pastels in a technique that I have played with in a couple other drawings, but I usedsoft pastels for the blue color surrounding my body, layering the colors and washing them together,something I hadn’t done before but realized how beautiful it looked. In this process held a precious lessonfor me: holding on to what I’ve always done is safe, but I already know what the outcome is. When I dosomething different, even though there’s a chance for failure, there’s also a chance for beauty andgrowth. When I finished my mandala and looked at it from afar my heart went out to it, and I felt more170

loving and accepting of myself. In many ways the actualprocess of doing this mandala was me living my curriculum,letting go of what the outcome had to look like and allowingfor whatever needed to come out. It was a rare momentwhere I was not only in my process but could actually observemyself in the process at the same time.When I reflect back on both of my mandalas thedifference between the curriculum and the character seems toblur. What started out as two seemingly distinct drawingsstarted sharing qualities of the other. Even though both havea very different quality to the way they look, it is testament tomy ability to hold space within myself for both of these sidesof myself, the rigid, logical side with the free, non-controllingside. And symbols of this show up in each. For example, theshell in my curriculum mandala can be looked at as mycharacter. The shell is mathematical and practical; qualities I think are represented in me. Yet the shell, ahome for slugs and others, can be confining. In some ways the curriculum mandala represents meleaving the safe place, home, for something unknown but beautiful. The shell also plays an interestingrole when comparing it to my character. As a home it is safe but is also confining. It represents the wallsI put up to prevent myself from experiencing the life I know I can achieve. Another example of bothmandalas sharing some characteristics of the other comes from the colors I used. I deliberately chose thecolors for my character mandala to represent the chakras, starting with red in the center as the basechakra, going out to purple, and then going back down to red again so that red was also on the areasfarthest from the center. They represent energies in all my chakras, spinning, keeping my soul alive andnourished. Many of these colors appeared in my curriculum mandala too, only they were blended withone another and not so strictly delineated from any other color. To be a light being, carrying forthhealing energy, is not just a part of what I’d like my character to be but also what I’d like to accomplish inmy curriculum.Some other interesting interpretations of themandalas include the resolutions to the issues of my characterand destiny. In particular, the curriculum mandala shows mepulling down on a rope attached to the blue colors while alsobeing pulled out of the shell. My husband noted that it had afeeling of swiftness, indicating that the change that needs totake place can actually happen quickly. In fact, he pointed outthat with every small decision to act, respond, or behave in adifferent way I am enacting small-scale changes of the biggerpicture I wish to achieve. The simple letting go of the oldbehavior holds the opportunity for a quick shift toward thismore fulfilled life. He actually thought that the rope was aring, which would be an interesting interpretation considering171

the work that we’re doing in our marriage. One of my key issues that I have been struggling with is howto be fully invested in the marriage without losing myself in the process. For that reason I tend to holdback, tighten, and get small (hence, the shell!). If the rope is looked at as a ring then there is thepotential to read the drawing as really letting myself be present in the marriage and trusting that I cancount on my partner. Therefore, it seems that the answer lies in fully giving myself to the marriage andto J. As for my husband’s role in this, it was an interesting experience to have him and the other guestswatch our final presentations. As the class progressed it felt like we had really grown as a group,supporting and challenging each other. I felt that our drawings had become such mirrors of each of ourauthentic selves there was nothing left to hide from each other. To then show these drawings to at leastone person we knew well and several we didn’t felt awkward and overwhelming. I think it was a healthychallenge to include my husband in this presentation, since so much of what I’ve talked about and thework that I am doing includes him. I also tend to keep my school experience totally separate from my lifewith him, thereby perpetuating the walling or closing off. So, although it seemed like it was going to beuncomfortable when we discussed it later I think it was an experience that actually brought both of uscloser. Whether I needed or sought out the validation, there was definitely a good feeling knowing thathe could see me in the drawings I made.Lastly, I wanted to comment on the group’s art as a whole. What I found really interesting wasthe amount of overlap in symbols that appeared on different people’s art. Caterpillars, butterflies,Egyptian symbols, oceans, skies, and other symbols were found on numerous pieces done by people intotally different locations with no knowledge of the other drawings. Similar colors and patterns could beseen in mandalas across the class. On an archetypal level, think I could begin to see the collectiveunconscious in action. I have not always been a believer in the existence of Jung’s collective unconscious,but other experiences before this have made me reconsider and this was just another level of revelationfor me. It was a truly amazing experience to watch that unfold throughout the duration of the class.In conclusion, I was actually quite surprised at my experience of the class. The artwork I haddreaded making at the beginning of class became my ally, my friend, and my mirror. Skeptical of my ownabilities as an “artist,” I was pleased with how much of myself I saw in my drawings. I think moreimportantly I was able to actually live out my destiny mandala, not just in the final mandala creation butin looking back, throughout the entire class. When I began the class I didn’t know what the outcome wasgoing to look like, or feel like, or be like, but I gave myself fully to the process trusting that the outcomewould be just as it was meant to be. And although I hit a few bumps along the way, I do feel that myexperience of the class was one of learning to let go and let come whatever needed to. Looking back Ican see more clearly the times when, although it was difficult for me, I allowed my artwork to just flowwithout the confines of a pencil outline making it into something predetermined. I also know thatthrough this process the biggest learning I came away with was becoming more my more authentic self.This meant not only owning certain aspects of myself that I had previously wanted to shun, but alsoowning the greater person that I am on my way to becoming. Though a slow process, through allowingmyself to get rid of roles that no longer serve me and simultaneously letting go of the rigid expectations,I can see my higher Self, my brighter energy, and my bigger Light that both of my final mandalasrepresent. (B,Class 2011)172

I SEE MY TRUE FACEThroughout the quarter my consciousness has expanded and aligned through course art assignments,readings, and heuristic research. The end result was a piece of art that was naturally in alignment withthe principals of sacred geometry and reflected not only my character, but important pieces of my soulcurriculum which highlighted the healing of my heart and learning unconditional love and forgiveness ofself. I came to a final piece of work through a series of intense drawings, exercises from Waterman’sworkbook, and exploration that was supported and encouraged by my classmates.During the first weekend intensive I went through a meditation on the sacred heart that led me tocreate a drawing that was surprising and revealing. When I first went into the heart I found myself in agiant cathedral in a white dress sitting on a pew. A preacher appeared in front of me and I went to thefront of the church to take communion. When the wafer dissolved in my mouth, the roof to the churchopened up and I found myself in a field playing with this beautiful yellow flower, I ate one of the petalsand the sky opened up to reveal a ladder ascending into the clouds. The three layers of this drawingreminded me of the three aspects of Christianity: the father (as the Church), the son (as the flower), andthe holy ghost (as the ladder in the clouds). These three symbols were surprising as I don’t identify withChristianity or practice that faith. It also led me to the realization that the sacred heart and sacred selfhave three aspects. What more can I say other than encourage you to visit often.One aspect of my soul curriculum that was revealed to me is reflected in the above exerciseexploringthe layers of my heart. My soul curriculum is also a lot about intimacy and authenticity. I havefor so long, and to some extent still do, hold fast to the belief that life would be so much simpler withoutemotions. I have long learned to deny my own feelings and intuition and learned to invalidate my ownperception of the world from an early age on. Being born to two parents with a Cancer sun sign hastaught me to carefully conceal what I was carrying in order to ensure safety in the home. The mantras Igrew up with were: Don’t cry or I will give you something to cry about, you have nothing to be sad about--your family life is so good especially compared to the one I grew up in, and don’t have too much fun:those things will get you into trouble. Love is silly and not to be trusted: men are no good until they arethirty. I learned that if I was angry I would be taunted and teased, if I was sad I would be given “better”reasons to be sad, and that if I was in love I was sure to get in trouble: get pregnant and becomemiserable.My mother taught me to control. She had to be in control of all things at all times, constantlymonitoring my thoughts by reading my journal, monitoring my actions by instilling in me a curriculum ofachievement: I would receive the most attention, the most love, the most success by producing A’s andbecoming a scholar. A scholar to me was someone who dedicated all of her life to the pursuit ofknowledge, thereby rendering love extraneous and secondary. I continually relegated my intimaterelationships to a second-class status. I kept feeling like life had to have more meaning than just love.There is a lot of tenderness for myself when I think about the relationships I denied myself, the identity Ihid behind, and the means I employed to ensure control, homeostasis, and safety by blocking authenticintimacy.I hid for a long time in the institution of school. First High School, then college, then Graduate173

school the first time around which was an experience that really forced a self-awakening. One classperiod Robert asked me if I was having pain in my shoulder and asked me if there was ever a point in mylife where things seemed to be too much, or if there was a time in my life that felt “wrong”. He remindedme that I wasn’t always the strong and confident woman that was sitting in front of him. In that momentI re-lived going to Duke in North Carolina and the immense pain and depression I had experienced.Waking up every morning I would throw up whatever I had eaten, and sit overwhelmed in the rot of thesoul homicide I had committed in order to receive what I thought was love, in order to receive respect,recognition, prestige, whatever the measure of success was that I had enveloped myself in. In a radicalre-interpretation of events I can see that in order for my heart to be healed, in order for me to be at theplace where I am at now, that was a necessary experience in my life and I have Less defense or morelove? I have allowed that heartache and the fear of being in that place again mentally to dissolve inorder to experience a life with less defenses.Making mandalas and using symbols to find out about my life and myself has enabled a lot ofhealing to take place and allowed misconceptions about self to be replaced with authentic ones. Onedrawing that I shared in class initiated healing a deep hurt that was caused by my six years of dancing: itexisted as a gigantic black hole of manipulation, misrepresentation of myself and my sexuality. Workingthrough the drawing and being led through a visualization helped me to find the karma in my actions. Inorder for my heart to become whole, this was a necessary experience for me. I also found that some ofthis karma is held in my genetics and family history. I felt a huge release when I was asked to forgive andlet go of the history of sex-work or misrepresentation of the sexual self that had been passed down in myfamily from generation to generation.I have found that the mistrust of my own personal power and the power of others stems from alot of my experiences stripping. I am finding a lot of forgiveness for myself, and love as I recognize thatwoman bravely taking on those experiences as a movement and momentum of both her own and herancestors’ karma. I have been struggling with shoulder pain and tension since I was in my late teens, andit is often accompanied by migraine headaches and sinus pressure. That pain showed up in one of mydrawings as a long purple smear, interrupting the flow of symmetry on the rest of the page. With somefacilitation I found that the pain and the symbol were linked to a curse--the curse given to me by myfamily. The curse that I accepted and internalized in terms of judgment. As Cancer is my North Node,Judgment is my preferred method of self-control. My own family manipulated me and judged me in anattempt to make me something acceptable. Judging everyone and everything was a great way also tocreate emotional distance. I’ve realized that the curse I carry around with me is the curse of trying tomake something of myself. As mentioned before, the experience of attending Duke was a moment whenI felt far from my authentic self. I realize the necessity of that experience as it has given me a sense ofcomparison. I know how it feels to live in ways that are soul nourishing and what it feels like to live inways that are soul devouring. I am aware even now how I think about studying psychopharmacology--getting my doctorate, and attempt to create stability and control through money and a career. Irecognize that psychopharmacology would not be soul nourishing to me, but can see the patterns in myfamily that would lead me to believe that a stable career and money is what will lead one to happiness.174

I find myself once again trying to distance myself from my intimate relationships: getting angry,annoyed, wanting to push my partner away, finding all the good reasons to be by myself. Just the way Ihave sabotaged past relationships in favor of stability. I have never been able to maintain individualityand stability in the tidal waves of romantic relationships that I find myself to be in. Through the work inthis class I am more aware when I am attempting to sabotage my intimate relationships as a heartdefense or when they are promoting a limited and conditional view of love that may not be serving me inmy life.Working with symbols and the golden triangle to alchemically transform this habitual pattern inmy life was a useful experience that I gained from the weekend component. The situation that I chose towork with was how to maintain my individuality and exist in a romantic relationship without losingmyself. I chose to represent my individuality as a staff stuck firmly into the earth, and I chose a cup withwater to symbolize romantic relationships. As I watched the symbols move up the sides of the triangle, Isaw the cup begin to spill over and become a huge lake. The staff began to spin and turn in the waterand in the end I found that it was floating on top of the water, moving with the current but not beingsucked under. It even sprouted leaves as it was nurtured by love. The water, instead of being aterritorial, limited, and conditional aspect of love, was transformed into vast, unconditional, and gentlynurturing love.Another drawing I did about transformation involved healing my heart, and what it would takefor my heart to become blissful--joyful. This was a three-panel drawing where one panel represented mycurrent situation, a solution to the situation on the third panel, and what it would take to get to the thirdpanel on the second panel. The first panel was a smeary mess of heart colors and on the third panelthere was a flower and two tear drops--the flower to me symbolizes my own creativity: beauty just forbeauty’s sake. My beauty doesn’t have to be dressed up, or put into a painting, or a poem or a book for itto exist. It is REAL all by itself. I remind myself that I am beautiful and exist in my own unique flower ofinspiration whether or not anyone can look at it, hold it, touch it, or create something of their own fromit. The middle panel was two simple lines moving in opposite vertical directions. This pointed out to memy own need for alignment and clearer vision.Looking through Lawlor’s Sacred Geometry reminded me of crop circles and the miraculous waythey mimic incredibly complex mathematical equations. Looking at crop circles online I was fascinatedwith the way the wheat was bent but never broken and how something so small was used to convey amuch larger message. Wheat is a symbol to me that has always represented earth goddess energy andis a symbol of nurture—it feeds people and makes them strong. The wheat in the crop circles was also amessenger and intermediary. In between the earth and the sky she is a product of both and representsstrength but is also delicate—bending in the crop circles to make a larger picture. From this point in thequarter on, wheat became a major theme in my drawings as I prepared for my final project.Another theme that carried through nearly every drawing I created in the class were these twosnakelike lines that sometimes appeared as hands, allies, or simply energetic lines that ran from one endof the page to the other. They transformed and evolved until they became two unified energeticrepresentations of yin/yang masculine/feminine, shiva/shakti, earth/sky energy. One snake was greenand the other red. They also reminded me of the caduceus, the symbol for health and healer. Theyrepresent my calling to heal myself and carry that healing energy to others. They cradled175

and moved the energy through my final mandala. Throughout the course my drawings weredisembodied which reflected my intellectual attitudes that helped to keep me out of my body and out oftouch with my feelings. Through the course I found a more comfortable way to put my feelings back intomy body and ended up with a mandala in the shape of a goddess that exhibits characteristics of the piratio that surrounds us in the world. Becoming more embodied also helped to heal my migraines.Another powerful symbol that evolved over the course of the quarter and was incorporated intomy final project was the symbol of the pomegranate. I thrive on contradiction and being able to hold thetension between opposites. The pomegranate is a symbol of the underworld and also the sacredfeminine as demonstrated through the Greek myth of Demeter and Persephone. The pomegranatebecame the center in the six-petaled root chakra mandala that sat in the belly of my Goddess-shapedfinal project. This pomegranate is the symbol of rootedness. I have been to the underworld in my life—Ihave experienced depression, madness, death, and the underworld of humanity as it expresses itself inthe sex work industry. I can know that place, understand the shadow, and still live in the light. The seedsof the pomegranate promise that spring comes, and that from these experiences in me anunderstanding, nourishing and emotional presence is possible. Because these experiences are also partof me, they have led me to a longing tocome home.It is the archetype of thepomegranate, the promise of springand a new cycle of life that standsfirmly with me and within me duringthis time of great struggle and loss.From within my body I can claim selfand move with the cycles of life.Symbol of the circular cyclical andintertwined nature of humanity.Things are beyond my control butbeing in alignment prepares me tohold the tension of all ranges of humanexperience. Speaking my own truthempowers me to care and nurturefrom a place of unconditional loveversus conditional love. I can hold myown and be a strong staff of supportand comfort to myself and otherswithout being rigid and breaking.During the first few weeks of class Iwas experiencing terrible migraineheadaches. It seems to me a physicaland undeniable sign—the migraine asarchetype of misalignment--that176

during this most stressful and difficult period of my life I am migraine-free.Another useful lesson I have gained from this class is the idea that just simply experiencing astate of openness as opposed to one of contraction allows for the expansion of consciousness. WheneverI worked with Robert Waterman in class and he helped to bring me into alignment with myself I began tohave a more distinct and bodily knowledge of when I was sitting inside myself or when because oftraumatization and as a defense mechanism I was sitting beside myself.When I look at my final project I see not only all of the experiences of the course, but I see mytrue face reflected in that drawing. All of the other drawings and life experiences that were re-lived andre-evaluated in this class exist within that drawing. Sharing my journey of self in the final class withothers was an experience that helped to solidify the work and was a celebration of self and others. I feelmuch gratitude that I was able to be a part of everyone else’s exploration and realizations and that theywere witness and catalyst for mine. (S, Class 2010)I RADIATE THE WHOLENESS OF ETERNITYWhen I began archetypal psychology class I thought it would be easy, as I spent many years in my 30’sdoing dream analysis with an analyst, and became quite adept at analyzing the archetypal imagesrevealed to me in my dreams. When I found out that we would be drawing mandalas every week, I wentinto panic, as I have never been comfortable with drawing freehand. However, I knew that if I fought themandala process that was being required of me the class would become a miserable struggle. So,beginning with the very first drawing I decided to let go and draw whatever came to mind with nojudgment or censoring from my analytical mind. It turned out to be a very wise decision, as the personaltransformation that unfolded for me was nothing short of miraculous. Throughout the mandalas processI found something I have been searching for since I was 7 years old; an experience of my true Self; alasting experience of my true Self; my wholeness.A very important theme emerged, with the first class exercise we did and the first mandala Idrew (Figure 1), that initiated the momentum I needed to begin my journey into the unknown. Clearcolor associations with my feelings became associated in the following way: gold with fake, red withanger, yellow with love, orange with joy, blue withsoothing, indigo with peaceful, purple with magical,silver with sparkly energy, and with me as transparent.The mandala also indicates that an internal process oftransformation is underway towards the conception ofsomething new.Fig 1: Swimming Towards Conception177

Fig 2: Fake Angry MeFig 3: Magical, Nurturing, Peaceful, MeFigures 2 and 3 show my continued use of color associations in relation to my emotions: When Iwas drawing, Figure 2, I was in a felt state of aggressive frustration and disharmony. Figure 3 is the samemandala as Figure 2, graphically inversed to reveal its shadow side; its opposite or complementary colorsthat represent hidden polarities underneath. According to my own color associations from the mandalain Figure1 the polarities of the fake and angry me, represented by gold and red, are missing the magicaland nurturing aspects of me, represented by purple and green in Figure 2.The third theme that arose was my recognition that the act of drawing mandalas has thepotential to open a door to my unconscious, whereby my unconscious is able to be depicted in variousstates, for the most part uncensored by my ego. Some of the mandalas turned out to revealdisconnection and fragmentation; others revealed active integration occurring, and a movement towardswholeness and harmony. An excerpt from my dream journal reveals how Figure 4, “mystical marriage”initially emerged in my consciousness.I had a very brief dream/vision, in the state in between waking and sleep, just as I was fallingasleep. The vision was of me hurling through space, as if I were spit out of a void, with my armsreaching far into space and my legs spread wide so as to remain in balance. My hair was flowingwildly. In that moment I felt whole, balanced and weightless hurling through space into theunknown.An excerpt from the notes in my journal reveals howthe process of drawing the mandala in Figure 4, unfolded:When I sat down to draw the Mandala I had beenfeeling unfocused and deregulated. I pressedthrough the disconnected feeling I was experiencingby following the intuition I began sensing, to just letgo and start drawing, regardless of how scattered Ifelt, and regardless if I knew what I was doing. Isurrendered to this feeling and my focus redirectedfrom feeling bad to feeling the faith and power in myFig. 4: Mystical Marriage178

intention; drawing my dream/vision in the form of a mandala. My hand began to draw with apurpose, as if it knew what it was doing, and where it was going. A felt sense of harmony andflow took over. It was as if my mind was following my hand. The mandala was complete in lessthan an hour.In describing the meaning of my mandala, in Figure 4, I felt as if it were depicting my wedding.The numinous entered me through a lightning bolt in the top of my head, the same lightning bolt thatstruck me in the dream I had several months before. This flowed through me with the full force of naturecatapulting me out of the shadow of the void, my hair blown about by the force. The gold and red colorsin my dress, that in the previous mandalas had symbolized fakeness and anger, now felt like a bounty oftrueness and love coagulating in harmonious abundance. I was flying, I was free, I was my authenticSelf.The fourth theme that arose was the recognition that when I pointedly focused my attention, onthe intention of being real and authentic, coupled with a surrender to my intuition, it would open a doorwhereby I felt my egocentric sense of self dissolve and expand into a larger sense of energy and lightflow. This shifted my point of identity from limitedegocentricity to an expanded feeling of being integrated,transparent and flowing, as if I and my experience werebeing created in every moment, new, from pre-existingwholeness. I also noticed an absence of preconceivedthoughts and images in my mind. I was no longer thinkingand then doing. The order of things seemed to reverse.Rather my mind felt empty and transparent, yet vibrantlyalive, something like a fiber optic conduit. I felt as if I werereceiving energy, and flowing with it, through which itsomehow translated into me being in action in the world.The key was not blocking the flow, with the need to preconceivemy experience through my ego. This effortlessFig. 5: Surrenderfreedom of being brought me into a deep sense of peace and harmony, and filled me with a tremendousamount of joy. My felt sense of wholeness inside matched my actions and expression in the world. Inother words, I was experiencing an emergent state of wholeness, which included a transpersonaldimension of myself.Paraphrased excerpts from my notes in my journal, concerning Figures 5-7, reveal how theprocess of creating the mandalas, and my felt state ofwholeness and harmony emerged:Figure 5: I drew quickly and spontaneously thatopened up my reception of numinous light energy, and apersonal experience of emptiness and transparency, thattransmuted into a felt sense of harmony. The gold in thiscase represents the opposite of my initial association ofbeing fake, to that of being authentic, revealing internalFig. 6: Flowtransformation in that moment towards integration. The179

funnel shape of the light reveals that it exists prior to me, inthe realm of the numinous, which channels through me,when I am transparent, into the manifest world representedby the horizontal brown line.Figure 6: When I began drawing I was in a state ofdisharmony. I deliberately started drawing in an effort tobring about a change in my state, to that of a felt sense ofintegration. Through the drawing process I surrendered myfocus of attention, on my intention and intuition, rather thanFig. 7: Harmonyon my experience of disharmony. The result was anemptying of my thoughts, creating transparency, and the capacity to receive numinous light and tacitknowing as flow throughout my body, leaving me with a manifest sense of congruence. The inside of mybody was clear, revealing the emptying of my thoughts. The flow of energy throughout my body is shownin gold, again revealing the transmutation of phoniness to that of being authentic and the reception ofthe transpersonal. The resultant state of congruence is expressed by outlining my body in the fullspectrum of integrated colors and the red flowers represent the transmutation of anger into blossominglove.Figure 7: I dreamed of this image the night before I drew it. Again it was a vision and feltexperience that occurred just as I was falling asleep, between the waking and sleeping states. I saw, andfelt in my body, two infinity loops crossing in my heart. They were in constant energetic motion, muchlike a running engine, animated by the numinous outside of myself. The felt state in my heart was what Ican best describe as harmonic resonance. It was a felt state of peace, joy, and abundance. The nextmorning when I began drawing the image, initially, I was, again, in a state of disharmony. I quicklysurrendered to my intuition and tacit knowing, as this process had proven to be a path and method ofreconnecting with my wholeness. Through surrender, I, once again, experienced a felt sense oftransparency, and reception of light and flow, that my hand merely followed throughout the creation ofthe mandala. I again was able to find the bridge, connectingwith the numinous, and manifesting a felt sense ofwholeness. The full spectrum of colors present in themandala represents my state of harmony. The permeablepurple circle, or magic circle, according to my colorassociations, shows that I am interconnected with thenuminous in an integrated flow; the transpersonal meets theintrapersonal.Much to my surprise I found a path of synonymousrelationship between the words that described my emergingfelt experiences of wholeness and harmony. I created amandala around the synonymous relationship between thewords, shown in Figure 8.Transparent is synonymous with luminous which isFig. 8: Synonyms—Final Mandalasynonymous with infinite and numina. Luminous is180

synonymous with coherent, congruent, clarity, and flow. (“Thesaurus/Synonym Finder”, n.d.). Thesesynonymous relationships reveal threads or connections between these words, and words, after all, aresymbolic representations of one’s actual feelings and experiences, as images are.These synonymous words mirrored the images that emerged in my final mandala (Figure 9). Thismandala reveals a total surrender of my small self to my large self connected to the infinite numina. Thisis represented by the archetype of a 3-tiered infinity symbol that extends from my small self to ultimatereality, contained by 3 consecutive circles which conveying wholeness and interconnection on all threelevels. The infinity symbols are comprised of the full color spectrum representing my particulation of thenuminous into manifest luminosity, and my reflection back to the numinous as a co-creator of realityrepresented by the white (white is the presence of all color). The clear background represents mysurrender to transparency, or the emptiness which contains all, through which I am able to conduct andradiate the numinous. The gold and silver bands coagulating in the outer circle represent the archetypalalchemical process of integration of the masculine andfeminine, into the white gold, or the liquid light of thepsycho-spiritual energy of the Kundalini. The purpleencompassing the gold and silver reveals that this is aspiritual state. In this moment, depicted in themandala, I am in a state of radical oneness with all.The late Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist andfounder of analytical psychology, believed there to betwo centers of the personality, the ego which is thecenter of consciousness, and the Self which is thecenter of the total personality, or psyche, composed ofthe ego, the personal unconscious, and the collectiveunconscious. Jung describes the unconscious ascontaining archetypes that exist in autonomous anddynamic tension. The Self, an archetype itself, is arealized product of the process of individuation, orFig. 9: I Am That—Final Manalaintegration of one’s personality. Additionally, herecognized an emergent transcendent function that arises to resolve the splits between the dynamic andtenacious polarities between the archetypes; thus Jung acknowledged a dimension beyond the limits ofordinary experience, or a transpersonal dimension, as being part of psyche. He states in his book theUndiscovered Self:“Consciousness is a precondition to being. Thus the psyche is endowed with the dignity of acosmic principle, which philosophically and in fact gives it a position coequal with the principle ofphysical being. The carrier of the consciousness is the individual, who does not produce thepsyche on his own volition but is, on the contrary, preformed by it and nourished by the gradualawakening of consciousness”…(Jung, 1957. p. 48).181

Furthermore, Jung believed in the transformative power of images. He realized images can helpthe ego move in the direction of psychic wholeness and eventually shift one’s center to that of the Self;the center of the total personality. Jung believed that analyzing dreams was not enough to fully parsethe embedded meaning, so worked actively with the symbolism that emerged. He termed this processactive imagination and used it to take the dream process further. Ruth Snowden, a writer specializing inesoteric psychology, said in her book Teach Yourself Jung:“Jung believed that the flow of images that take place in the form of dreams while we are asleepalso carry on during our waking hours as undercurrents of fantasy. He said that these fantasieswere real psychic entities and that it was very important to stay in touch with the unconscious byexploring them. To do this you enter a day-dreaming state, halfway between sleep and waking,and observe the images and fantasies that arise…He encouraged people to explore thesymbolism emerging from the unconscious in creative ways such as drawing, painting, dreams,writing or modeling clay (Snowden, 2006. p. 137).Frances Vaughn is a practicing PhD psychologist specializing in bridging humanistic andtranspersonal theory and integrating psychotherapy and spirituality. She has been on the clinical facultyof the university of California and president of the Association for Humanistic and TranspersonalPsychology. After many years of work in both psychotherapy and spiritual practice, in her book, TheInward Arc, she sees the interface of both psychotherapy and spirituality as necessary for healing andwholeness. She states:“Traditionally, psychological growth and the spiritual quest have been perceived as separate andfundamentally antagonistic pursuits. Most Western psychology has tended to dismiss spiritualsearching as escapist, delusional, or, at best, a psychological crutch….here (in her book) thesetwo apparently divergent approaches to the relief of human suffering are viewed ascomplementary and interdependent aspects of the healing and the journey to wholeness”(Vaughn, 1995, p.7 - Introduction).She goes on to speak about the goal of this journey as the “unity of consciousness or the truth ofexistence” (p. 208) that is potentially understood through clear vision, free from constricting distortionsof perception. She describes the psyche’s inherent wisdom, as a whole, being constantly available withthe potential to be accessed as an inner teacher, that is laying in wait to be perceived. The transpersonalaspect of the psyche is outlined as not being the particular manifestation of an image, but rather thevision that sees the pattern or principle on which an image is based existing “a priori” (p. 209) orindependently of any particular manifestation in space/time.Additionally, she states that there is no rational argument that suffices to establishtranscendental realities and that the only validation is direct experience of transcendence of form, and“direct awareness of vision” (pg. 210). The Self as the source of archetypes is apprehended intuitively,known by means of vision that is able to see formlessness in addition to form. The Self exists as a182

potentiality existing in the psyche, awaiting creative expression that in the manifest realm exists only asexpressed through human beings.Robert Waterman is an EdD in counseling and education specializing in spiritually orientedpsychotherapy. He is president emeritus of Southwestern College, an accredited and spiritually orientedgraduate school, and founded the Amenti School, teaching classes in ancient wisdom and noeticbalancing. In his book, Mandala of the Soul: A Spiritual Approach to the Art of Archetypal Psychology hespeaks of the artistic process of making mandalas, as a method of self transformation; as a way to purifyand balance our field of consciousness in order to awaken in us a stronger connection to our “center,vitality, and internal communication” (Waterman, 2010, p. ?).He describes making art through the mandala process, as being a conduit for our creativity,which is the energy that our soul structures our consciousness with and transforms our personalities.Waterman states, “Through artistic creation archetypal intelligence collaborates with us to create areflection of our wholeness in the mandala” (p. ?). According to Waterman, when a person creates amandala that is congruent, unfolding from implicate realities into explicit realities, it means that hisartistic depiction is in agreement with his conscious, basic, and high selves, as well as, his thinking,feeling and action. When this occurs an energy can be felt and seen by both the creator of the mandalaand those observing, as he describes the meaning of his mandala. In his book Eyes Made of Soul hespeaks of finding balance as requiring us to surrender to the highest spiritual source possible, choosing tolive with the universal Source rather than living through our ego separate from it. The focus is to alignmore deeply with Source, and to reference self-identity to essence (Waterman, 2010, pg. ?).“The pupil is taught how he must concentrate on the Light of the inmost region, and, at the sametime, free himself from all outer and inner bondage. His life-will is guided toward a consciousnesswithout content which none the less permits all contents to exist”. (Wilhelm, 1975, p.121) My aim was tolocate a bridge, and the signposts along the way, leading to freedom from the experience offragmentation and disharmony. Through the processes of creating a series of mandalas, I traveled muchfarther down this road than I expected, and found so much more than I thought was actually possible. Ifound my inherent interconnectedness with the transpersonal, that without which, I am not whole. Ifound that this dimension is not just a random act of grace, or a moment of epiphany bestowed upon mefrom time to time, for some unknown reason, from some unknown place. I found that when I amdisconnected, I am simply in my own way. And I found that when I get out of my way and reach forinterconnected wholeness, it is always there.I found, for me, the key to crossing this bridge is paying the toll of surrendering my locus ofidentity in the known, to the ever unfolding flux of the unknown. I achieve this when I follow my intuitionand the tacit knowing that lay in wait whispering softly, “Let go and be your authentic Self” My faithfulsurrender into the lap of trust allows me to acknowledge the tenacious polarities that exist within mymind, to be, without taking sides, so both can surrender to the peace of transparency. I let go of mypreconceived thoughts and reality as I know it, until I am empty. In this transparent space, myfragmented thoughts creating the inharmonious me, give way to the emptiness of the void, transformingme into a luminous conductor of light or infinite numina. In these moments, I can do nothing but radiateback the wholeness of infinity. (K, class 2010)183

LIVING IN A WORLD OF GREAT HOPE AND LOVEThis class has had a profound effect on my life in many different ways. The knowledge I have gained,intellectually and spiritually, from the readings, classroom experience and the creation of my Mandalashas helped me create space to truly fully begin my transformational process. The year leading up to thisclass, I feel like I was swimming in unpredictable waters. One day I would be unraveling, the next I wouldbe on top of the world, all my moods due to a different revelation I have made about myself or my life. Itseems in the past year, the bulk of my inquiries into myself were to face my daemons of my past and myshadow side. Without this previous year, I would not have gotten to where I was able to go in thisarchetypal class. The synchronicities of events throughout the semester have been beautiful andchallenging. Archetypal psychology and my research project for this summer ended up playing off eachother in unpredictable and unforeseen ways and my life experiences have pushed me to places I neverthought I could go. This class has opened up a part of me that was just peeking around the corner. WhatI was able to experience throughout this class has created space and breathing room for me to let thingsin that would otherwise have been too much. A huge part of my life and my life experiences were tooemotionally charged to let into my consciousness, that is until now.In one class, you had said, ‘we are always stalking ourselves.’ This has been the major theme forme in the past eight weeks. I have felt like a huntress and my prey has been different parts of myself. Ihave been trying to break certain patterns in my life, which I have written about in previous papers thatdeal with my relationships. Questions have arose, such as, Why do I let people in who aren’t able to give?Why do I put myself in relationships that I know will not be helpful to me in the long run? What parts ofmyself do I find unacceptable? And why do I keep putting myself in the same situation expecting adifferent result every time?In one of our first classes, we did the golden triangle meditation. The two things I took from mylife that seem opposite and operating at the same were, having walls and keeping people outemotionally and the same time, wanting more than anything to let people in and to be able to give andreceive love. What I saw in my meditation was a glowing ball of purple light, with blue crystal shards andwater shooting out of it. You had said in class, “congratulations, you have just met a new part ofyourself.” I wasn’t quite sure if I had or not or where that meditation was going to take me. What I sawthough, made me feel good and believe I would inevitably hunt down the answers to the questions aboutmyself that were plaguing me.As this class has progressed, so has my hunt. What I have found while searching through theforest of my soul are things that are incredibly challenging to deal with. The amount of pushed downpain, resentment and memories that have unfolded, at times, make me want to crawl out of my skin. Ihave been like a trash compactor for other people’s junk, taking it all in and pushing it down. Throughoutmy life, while taking on other people’s garbage, my garbage seems to have fallen to the bottom of thepile making it very difficult to get to. This is where this class has really helped, even at times, without myknowing.Art has always been my medicine. When I feel out of control, angry, sad, confined or happy, I goto my paintbrush. However, I have never created an intention with my art work to solve a mystery. My184

artwork is always expressive and abstract; however, I never sat down and gave my art work anopportunity to teach me. When I asked you, “should I know what I’m drawing or should I just draw?” Youanswered, “Draw and let it teach you later.” This is exactly what I have done and the consequences ofthat, good and bad have been quite apparent. As the past year has gone, I have let everyone else’s junkgo. I have faced what people have put on me and the weight of it is now off my shoulders. That beingsaid, it is now time for me to deal with my junk. Everything else has been cleared off of the top, andwhat’s resting at the bottom is all my own. I had no idea that the drawings and meditations I had beendoing, were creating room in my consciousness to deal with the sorting out process of all of my repressedgarbage. I now can see what I was drawing.My swirley, twirley art work is visually, what has been going on inside of me for quite awhilenow. When I look at it, I can feel it more than I can articulate it. The basic feeling is a shift. It involvestaking what you have and turning it into something new. If I never look at my garbage, how am Isupposed to turn it into something beautiful? The thing was, for a long time, I had no room to look at it.Currently, it is staring at me in the face and I need to see something wonderful in every piece of myselfand experience what I have tossed away and hidden at the bottom of the pile. The blue crystal shards inmy artwork were shooting out of a glowing purple ball. The shards are beautiful and natural; howeverthey are still very sharp and could be dangerous. I take the blue shards as the new knowledge I havegained about myself and my past. The fact that they are coming out of a purple sphere gives me thefeeling of intuition and healing. The irony in all of this is that my research project was focused solely onmy intuitive/psychic powers. I came across an article during this hunt for myself that I have been on, thatdealt with early childhood trauma and psychic abilities. It was said that, children who experience severetrauma can split in two ways. One way is splitting into psychosis and the other being splitting into theastral. I myself believe I split into the astral. The article also described that until people deal with theirtraumas, their psychic abilities will seem unmanageable and they will be unable to use them for theirhigher purpose, which is to heal. I can see now, my golden triangle drawing for this class and the purposeof my research all coming together in a beautifully challenging way. My artwork is still teaching me evenas I write this. When I drew that meditation, I had no idea what it meant. Now, the entire puzzle of me isslowly coming together.The weekend class was incredibly difficult for me to get though. As I write this, I am realizing theenormity of what it is I have been hunting. I picture warrior Jessie in a forest looking for the big prey notknowing what, “the big prey” is. While I am taking a nice rest underneath a tree a mastodon walks rightin front of me. This is what I asked for, this is what I wanted. I have been tracking my intuitive abilitiesand trying to discover why it is I keep inviting people, specifically men into my life that only do me harm.The answer to that question is much bigger and harder to contend with than I would have first thought.The answer to that question, directly deals with unlocking my past, which this class has enabled me todo, and that the answer to all my questions, is self-love. What a seemingly simple obvious solution to allmy trials and tribulations. The weekend classes made me confront my issues with self love head on.It was very easy for me to draw the panels of a recent trauma and the result of it. Mine had todo with the ending of a relationship where I thought I had finally found someone who I could trust andwho would give back. It was the first time in my life that I trusted someone else as fully as I was able to.This did not end well, feelings were hurt and friendships were ruined. The end result of this, pain, was not185

hard for me to draw. However, when we were asked to take, “what we want” and “how we get there” Ifelt like I was enjoying a roller coaster ride, went over a bump and abruptly got thrown off, trying tograsp anything I could to save myself. I had no idea that being asked to do a drawing of how we got towhere we want to go; would spin into a mild meltdown. In my head, what I wanted was to freely giveand receive love with a person who could do the same. I knew what I wanted; I just didn’t feel that I hadany idea how to get there. Quite honestly, the fact that you wanted me to draw the answer to mytroubles was really infuriating. I sat on the floor and stared at my paper as tears streamed quietly downmy face. The answer I finally drew was me inside of a rainbow heart. What I discovered was that what Iwant and how I get there was one in the same. I wanted someone to give and share love with, all alongthat person has been myself….self-love is the key.That discovery was not made clear to me until quite recently. I was and in many ways, still amcontinually looking outside myself to gain that love. Going about fulfillment in this way is like eating aTwinkie when you really want a flourless dark chocolate cake; it satiates but never fully satisfies. Notonly is it not satisfying, it is disappointing, unfulfilling and ultimately hurtful, because every time, youthink that Twinkie is going to do it for you, then you discover that it is just a cheap filler for what youreally want.As I have discussed previously, this class caused a shift that has made me aware of many thingsabout myself. I have been continually asking, “why, why, why, why….do I feel this way about myself.”Where do these negative patterns come from? Just like warrior Jessie sitting by the tree and themastodon finding her, I woke up one morning with a list of to do’s in my head, “register for school, signup for the matriculation exam, go grocery shopping……and oh my god!!” Memories and images ofchildhood abuse swiftly ran through my mind, seemingly out of nowhere. Perhaps this seems unrelatedto this class, but for me, it is all directly related. Through my art, I truly believe that I was able to,“unpack” enough stuff to make room for some rather serious things that need to be dealt with. For me,this is the true essence of transformation.In your book, Mandala of the Soul, you said, change the way you look at the world and it willchange the way it looks at you. This continues to give me great hope. I can look at my life and mytraumas and realize that how I view them is exactly what they are going to give back to me. If I look backwith hate, anger, guilt and resentment, then that is what I am going to get. In all of the books I haveread, I have taken away one very important thing that will help me. I have always been very independentand self sufficient yet at the same time, feel crippled when I feel as though I am alone. Recently, “I justdon’t want to be alone” seems to be a mantra of mine (likely having to do with all the memories thathave presented themselves.) What all of the literature from this class really proves is that we are neveralone. There is something much bigger in the universe, operating all of the time that connects us toeveryone and everything. When I am able to be fully present in that knowledge, all of those fears I haveof what it means to be alone slowly melt away.What this class is helping me find and who you asked me to find the day of my presentation iswhat I like to call, “happy medium E” or, “maybe balanced E?” Not really sure yet but I do know that Ican see her. What I learned about myself through my Mandalas is that there are two predominantJessie’s at work most of the time. One is a person who is tied to her suffering, yet her suffering gave herthe gift of intuitive abilities. Her difficult lessons in life have been a painful gift. When I sit with the pain, I186

feel it tremendously, which issomething also new to me. Ihave spent years blocking outmy pain with sex and alcohol.Now that I am no longerusing those vices and I amtruly with it, I can feel everybranch and twig of growththat suffering gave me.Through my pain, I have beenable to connect to the astralworld very clearly. I have astrong connection to theheavens and the earth andfeel its energy going in andcoming out of me. In myMandala I drew myself as atree because I am (we all are) living on this earthly plane. However, I drew all the colors coming in andout of me because that is usually where my head/spirit usually is, on another plane.In class I discussed the blue arrows pointing upwards that I had been seeing everywhere. Yousuggested that perhaps I should spend more time, “up there” Which I quickly said no to, because, goingup, up, up and away has always been real easy for me. That was my escape as a child. What I discoveredthe blue arrows to mean is that I am on the right path to higher wisdom and knowledge. All of this newinformation I have been gettingabout myself is all pointing me inthe right direction. My curriculumMandala addresses the level ofpain I have experienced in my lifeas well as how I experience theother not so concrete worlds.What my curriculum Mandala allcomes down to is growth, nomatter how painful.My character mandalabrings me great joy; it is anexpression of how I have gottenthrough every day. At one point inclass, you had joked about the,“bad ass” in me. This charactermandala I created perfectlyrepresents my, “bad ass” side. Out187

of all my experiences in life, I have learned to have a bit of an edge. I believe I was born into this worldwith that edge otherwise I would not have made it through the trying situations that I have. ThisMandala is the other side of Jessie that operates most of the time, “Fuck with me and I’ll cut your headoff” (for lack of better words). However, I don’t want to cut people’s heads off out of anger, it does quiteoften come from a place of love, hence, being encircled by hearts. I feel as though, I see the best inpeople, often times to my own detriment. When I see people acting in a way that is not congruent withwhom they really are, such as someone acting hateful when I know that’s not really them, I tend toattack. But I attack to try to kill that superficial, façade that most people have. I feel a connection withKali in that she is the destroyer of ego. Of course, I don’t always come from that place of love; I amhuman and still have lots of work to do. Another aspect, and the more resounding one for me that thisMandala represents, is warrior Jessie. The women in my family are all warriors and it is a tradition andfeeling that I am proud to carry on. As painful as it is to go through trauma, I will fight my way thoughand have done just that. I have a sense of perseverance and not giving up that will not stop. If I have tocut off a head, maybe my own, figuratively of course, I will do so. To me, this Mandala reminds me tonever give up and I will always be filled with and surrounded by love.The new part of myself I am meeting is very interesting. She is a person, who doesn’t feel like shehas to fight but knows she can if she needs to and she is a person who is not experiencing the pains ofher past and her suffering on a daily basis. She is someone who has nothing to prove and feels like she isfloating in water or as breeze in the air. This new woman I am meeting; loves herself and can live fromher overflow of love and will meet people that do the same. This class has opened up a whole new worldto me. It is a world filled with love and hope. The new part of myself I am integrating more and moreevery day, will live in this world a lot more often and ultimately will make it her home. Better yet, theperson I am, who is living from her overflow of love, is also living in a world of great love and great hope.And that Waterman, that is my final panel. (J, class 2010)ARMS OUTSTRECHED I AM ONE WITH ALLIn this archetypal course, I experienced much progress and exploration through the process of mandalas.In the beginning I was not too sure about the mandala process and how it related at all to my ownpersonal process as well as archetypal psychology. However, as the course moved on I was able to findrelationship with the mandalas that I was creating and patterns that were developing within thedrawings.My first drawing was an expansion from a meditation that we had done in class, which includedmany colors and visual aspects. I rediscovered my ability to visualize color in such a prominent way, andwas able to recreate that feeling into my first mandala. This drawing to me feels very vibrant and hasmuch movement. I vaguely remember having my arm completely fall asleep to where it felt as if I had noarm; quite an experience to remember. The colors in this mandala represent the colors in the meditationand the yellow dots that are distributed all around the colors represent the tingling sensations I feltthroughout the meditation.188

The next series of mandalas were the positive and negative aspects of physical, mental,emotional, and spiritual. This process was very interesting, and brought out a lot of emotion andmovement within the mandala. The heart was a pattern used often, as well as beams of yellow lightsurrounding images such as the sun, the heart, and myself. I displayed images such as grief and loss of aloved one, a cross with a broken heart in it representing negative spirituality, and me holding my littlenephew’s hand with our hearts big and bright as a positive emotion. I think that this mandala reallyhelped get “the ball rolling” with my mandala process, and began opening me up for further exploration.The next mandala in my art journal is especially moving, and displays a lot of pain for me. It wasover the weekend class, and we had done a meditation of our heart. I can remember feeling physicalpain and discomfort throughout this meditation, as if my heart was releasing what it had been holding infor so long. Over the weekend was really when I began tapping into the pain and process of mysexuality, and in this mandala I can feel that strongly.The mandala is a heart that takes up most of the page, and is divided in the middle by a thick,black, jagged line. On one side there is a large tear drop that is also black and on the other side is a blackeye with black vein like lines projecting away from it. The heart itself is surrounded by colors of black,yellow, blue, and red rays going in all directions from the heart. I can specifically remember drawing thismandala and the emotion that I felt while doing so. Tears welled up and there was much pain andpassion releasing through my arm into my hand and onto the page. It was a feeling of aggression andfrustration as I quickly scratched the dark colors of black and red around my heart, but didn’t feel asthough I was finished so I had added the brighter colors of yellow and blue. The repression that I haveheld in my heart for so long about my own identity and heartaches were able to shine through into mymandala this day, and the exhaustion I felt afterwards was both saddening as well as relieving. I wasable to see just how much pain and hurt my heart had been through, as well as the tension it felt fromkeeping it all bottled up for so many years like I had done.In my next mandala I was able to see progress through another meditation when we weredirected through the building and instructed to discover who the figure was inside the tunnel of light. Inmy case it was me, however it did not look exactly like me but the feeling of knowing it was me was veryprominent. In this mandala, I reveal myself in the light and transform into colored birds that are flyingoff in different directions from the light. This piece really resonates with my process and makes me feelas though I am on to something extraordinary and freeing to my soul. I think this mandala also tells meto have patience and honor whatever guidance or direction that shows up for me.The following mandalas were displayed in certain order so that it almost presents as a timeline.These series of mandalas were also made in the weekend class, and was an extremely intense process forme. The first set was a picture of me feeling as though I, as well as everything else, is untouchable orinvincible; so I drew myself with yellow light surrounding me and a superman stamp on my chest. Thenext section is the realization that death and loss is extremely real and it can happen to me and to thoseclose to me. In this mandala I drew myself holding my heart as I stand over my grandma’s grave, which Ilost a year ago, and there are dark clouds dropping rain on us. This piece makes me very sad and givesme a dreary feeling, but also reminds me of reality. The final section to these three series of mandalas isa drawing of myself again, more content and stable with “fragile” written across my chest. To me, thisdrawing symbolizes my realization and understanding that life is fragile and death is a part of life.189

In the next three series of mandalas, it represents to me who I was before I came toSouthwestern College, who I was when I began attending Southwestern College, and who or where I amat now with my process. In these series of mandalas, I was able to begin delving deeper into my processand allowing it to come through in my art work. The first was who I was before, which in this mandala Iam a brown figure and the sun is shining bright above my head. I have a huge yellow smile on my faceand a cross necklace around my neck, however after I had drawn this up the word FAKE came out andwas written across the entire picture. I feel that I had put on a front about who I was, according to whatmy family and others believed I was or should be; the good Christian girl who has never been in trouble,always done well in school and athletics, and is “perfect.” For many years I believed that was who Ishould be, but deep down knew that it was not truly how I identified myself.The next mandala is the arrival at Southwestern College and the major awakening to not reallyknowing who I was outside of my family or hometown. In this drawing I am in front of the school and myfigure is green with a red heart. There is also yellow light moving around me, as well as red lines movingquickly around inside my body; and finally the large question above my head, “WHO AM I?” Thisdrawing to me shows change and discovery, in which the movement inside of me being the anxiety ofsuch a different environment around me as well as a new territory being explored inside of me.The last mandala of this series is where I am at presently with my process. This drawing revealsa lot of sadness and loneliness to me, and represents mainly the repression of my sexuality. In thismandala I am sitting with my arms around my legs and my head down, as I am surrounded by a box ofdarkness. However, within this box are the words of “family,” “shame,” and “god;” which are allhovering around me. In the corner of this dark box shows a small amount of light coming in from theoutside, which is covered in bright yellow light. To me this drawing represents the pain and solitaryfeelings that I have experienced most of my life by keeping such a huge part of my identity away fromnot only the outside world but myself as well. Though, I can feel the light shining through onto me and Iknow that there is such beauty and light that is awaiting me.The next two series of mandalas stem from the last mandala I just discussed; yet this is a seriesof where I want to be, and what I have to do to get there. The mandala that depicts what I need to do inorder to reach the place that I want to be, is a drawing of my figure with my hands holding my heart andsurrounded by light. Above me are the large words, “Who I Am” with words like death, shame, and fearfading away off the page and crossed out. With this mandala, I really felt like in order to truly step intomy true being with love and appreciation I must get rid of these harsh feelings and words that seem tobe holding me back. This has been much of my process throughout this year, stepping into love of myselfand really beginning to honor who it is that I am versus the idea that I am a bad or an abnormal personin some way. I have finally realized that it has been me keeping me away from who I am, rather thanfamily or friends or society.The final mandala to this series is the picture of where I would like to be, and hopefully will besomeday. This picture has a bright, multicolored sun shining down on me and my parents. I drew ourhearts big and red, smiles on our faces, and they both have their arm around me. This mandala wasreally emotional for me to draw, for one because I feel like this could be possible one day with theirknowing of my sexuality, and for two because it is not the reality of today. When I look at the drawing itmakes me feel very accepted and loved, even more so because it is my parents of whom are surrounding190

me with those feelings. It also makes me sad because I still carry around the fear and anxiety aboutcoming out to my parents, and the disappointment I would have of this mandala if my parents were notso accepting and loving as the drawing expressesAfter the weekend class with the process of the smaller series of mandalas, my drawings beganto express more movement and a sense of freedom. I had drawn a tall tree that almost lookedhumanlike, and was being blown by the wind; the swirls that surround the tree representing the windand its movement.I noticed again in my next mandala how I used the swirls in many colors, including black. In thismandala I drew a large sun-like figure, with a yellow swirl in the middle of it. I had told the class that theheart that is placed behind the swirl was the last thing for me to draw in this piece. I was also stumpedwith words to express about this mandala, except that it gave me much anxiety while I was drawing itand also when I look at the finished product. The class helped me to find the possible words that expressthe meaning of this mandala, which I was very grateful for. Some said it could mean my heart, or mylight, being contained by such beauty and energy around it because of my situation of hiding my identityfrom my family. Another person had expressed her understanding of how difficult and sad that feelingmust be, to keep such a huge part of myself hidden and repressed. This guidance from my classmatesreally helped me to explore more into those feelings and possibilities.My next mandala is probably one of my favorites, just because it makes me feel so great to lookat it. It was a drawing of my guitar, in which I told the class was such a wonderful resource for me that Ihad put away for too long and had just rediscovered. This mandala has a large guitar that takes up mostof the page, music notes dancing from the guitar, and bright red orange lines extending all around it. Ialso noticed the lines of movement again that swayed all around the guitar in colors of yellow and blue.This piece really means a lot to me, and I have since been using this resource freely as a calming andtherapeutic agent. I can finally let myself go as I play my guitar and allow any lyrics or words to evolveout of the music I am playing, which is such a brilliant feeling.My last mandala for the class ended up being such a huge part of my final mandala. In thismandala I drew a figure that represented me in a contained green gown-like wrap, in which my arms andlegs were not visible. The swirls of wind and movement surround this figure and shows that it is touchingher as her hair sways with it. There are also bright star-like lights that are yellow and a part of thismovement within the circle. Outside of the circle is day and night, the top representing night with theblack sky, bright moon, and stars all around. The bottom of the page represents day with the blue sky,gray clouds, and bright yellow sun. This piece really embodies the connection I feel with the sky; day ornight. I feel the calmness and peacefulness I felt the night I felt the breeze on my skin, which inspired thismandala.191

In deciding what I was to dofor my final character andcurriculum mandala, I knew that Ihad to integrate the wind elementas well as my feeling of connectionto the universe. I had felt over thepast few mandalas for class that Iwas beginning to reach something,but I wasn’t sure what it was. Iknew that from feedback in classand my own process of mymandalas that I was being seen asthe person I have always been, butso recently allowed to be witnessed.With that, I knew that I wanted torepresent myself in a huge waythrough this final mandala. The firstpiece I put into my mandala was myown hand; in which I studied andsketched exactly so that I could seethat it was in fact mine. My handthen had this circular piece within itsfingertips’ grasp, but not knowingexactly what was to come of thecircle. I sat with my hand and circle for a few days before I let go of any expectations or plans for it, andallowed myself to just go with whatever came. In trusting myself with this final mandala, I was reallyable to allow what feels like my soul, come through into this circle. The circle again has the same figure,hair blowing with the wind, and wearing the green gown; however now my arms are outstretched and Iam one with it all. I am standing on a mountain, and I am so small but yet so huge, and I am holding astar in my hand. All of this symbolizes my process at this school, my process with my own identity, andthe evolution that has taken place within my soul as well as all that exists around me. I feel such aconnection with myself and with the universe when I look at this curriculum mandala. It gives me such afeeling of accomplishment and knowing of who I am, which I have never really had. My charactermandala was a zoom-in of myself on the mountain, holding the star. I felt that I wanted to show hermore than anything, because what is being portrayed in that moment is the most important to me.I am so grateful to this mandala process and the art work that I was able to develop throughoutthis course. I feel that I have stepped into myself and my identity even more through this mandala work,and I am extremely eager to continue the mandala process to help me even further along into myprocess. It was also such a wonderful experience to have feedback from my peers and the feeling ofbeing heard and supported throughout my process. I am still planning on finding a bright green gown tostep into and see where it takes me! (A, class 2010)192

FINDING THE WINGS TO FLY“I know I am only half alive in the world, half my life belongs to the wild darkness.”-Galway KinnellThe journey towards the mysterious central point of emptiness eludes my mind with its timeless, nonlinearnature. All of these strange and crooked paths that have been laid before my feet are both tricks and trialsof an old and hungry soul wishing to return to its place of creation. And where would that be? The more I delveinto the mystery, the more I understand it to have no real beginning, and an end seems somehow out of thequestion. So perhaps there is no goal to attain, no final victory to win, no ultimate rest from the relentless walkthrough the prism of life. Instead, I surrender to a wild exploration of self/no-self through creating a mirror formyself by which to see, and hopefully then to feel, some divine quality within my relationship to all that is.The past couple months in this class have been filled with such opportunities of self reflection, especiallyin regards to using color and form as a means of discovery. The images that have revealed themselves have comespilling forth from some mysterious storehouse of the psyche that can only be regarded as the imagination, theincredible power that is born of both thought and consciousness, with a bit of intention thrown in for direction. Iam amazed at what has come through me, especially since I did not have much confidence in my artistic abilitieswith color and drafting. There has come a great ease in allowing my subconscious to invite the unconscious fortea and the two to invent some sweet party for the enjoyment of consciousness. Each time I sit down to open thedoors of the imagination, there is a sense of excitement and anticipation, as well as a letting go of what shouldor shouldn’t be expressed on the paper. What helped was to really get that a mandala did not have to look anyparticular way, that the authenticity of its birth process was more important than its actual form, though circularexercises are certainly appropriate and useful at times. But then, to not have a directive form can be quiteintimidating as well. But I was mostly able to get beyond all of that and allow the images to pour forth onto thepaper with both courage and trust.For this specific class, my journey of the mandala begins with a green gate, a passage into myunconscious that starts to reveal to me small clues about the tools I am carrying, or gifts that have been offeredto me along the way. I leave an old suitcase at that gate to give myself more freedom, less weight to carry alongthe way. I am happy to first find the tree awaiting me there on the other side. She is my companion on manyjourneys, inner and outer; she teaches me about changeand letting go with grace and patience. At her feet is apool of water, where my emotions swim with serpents,feeding the dry earth. I also find a windmill, dropped infrom a recent dream. It shows me how to harness thewind and use it to lift and carry me with little effort. But itbegins spinning too fast and tears up the wooden boardsof its own foundation. There is a shrine nearby where Ifind the spiral goddess amulet given to my last lover. I amgrateful to find it settled there, helping to remind us all ofthe fleeting nature of romance and fantasy. The path193

continues past an ax in a stump, the end of winter, then disappears off thepage. To where?The next adventure takes me into the forest, and finally to thatspringtime tree of rebirth. As I sit beneath its blossoming branches, I hearthe raven pass overhead, crying out to me to remember my own needs as Ijourney on. The Mandala book talks about the forms in nature thatexpress a pure state of balance and harmony within their unique andimperfect designs. I see that this is certainly true of the tree, how herbranches have woven themselves around each other, allowing for thespace needed to flourish and grow. This provides a broad canopy that isonly just starting to sew together the leaves to block the coming sun. Andthere is a perfect way that she curves away from the wind and leans overto compensate for the sacrifice of old branches over the years. I realizethat the water I had seen earlier has turned into a river and is calling forme to follow the current of my energetic awakening. I eat a solitary plumfrom the tree to nourish my soul before continuing on down river. I waitfor a long and suspicious fish to pass before I jump in. The water is cool,but soft like a satin scarf, like the one my friend Daryn gifted me.I next find myself in the heart, that cathedral of the body thatcan’t be held but only felt. The energy of all the love ever given andshared is still there. Colored balls of light are swirling and spinning. It isso nice to not have to see anything I know. And there is nothing I didn’tknow, but it is only color, sound and energy, reminding me continually ofthe love that I am.How would I know where I would end up next?! It is a visualizedjourney down a sandy path then through an old and overgrown openingin the earth that takes me there. I discover my own ancient mysteryschool, with high, vaulted ceilings and bright sunlight streaming throughthe arched windows, old stone walls and the echo of harmony emanatethrough the space. In the center there is a small pool of glistening water,it seems to be breathing, glowing golden in the light, with crystalssoaking there like petrified rainbows. I pick one up and swallow it; thewater is the medicine that allows the crystal to dissolve in the body. I feela calm remembering about my destiny in this life. There is a wisdom ofwhy I am here, beyond the mind. I look around me to see many doors,and one opens slowly on its own, so I walk through. There is a similarroom, though smaller, and the light brighter. There is a stone tub filledwith warm water. There are books on one wall and long benches withcushions. I disrobe and lose myself in the waters. I feel as if I could staythere forever. Is this the center of my soul where peace can always be194

found? The symbols are all there: the water of cleansing andemotional clarity- the old stone cathedral, that place of solitude andsanctuary where the wisdom of both heart and mind can unite anddance- the crystal light of pure understanding is alive and movingbeneath the holy waters. I am deeply grateful for this vision and gift. Aplace I will always have access to when I need it. The mystery school isthat place where I can “learn” all that I need to remember of mytimeless soul. Perhaps it will be a place to invite others to see theirown soul reflected there in the crystal pool.It is time to utilize the mandalic journey to find the road froman unresolved place in myself to one of completion. The issue at handis one of relationship, mostly with myself, but also with women,intimacy at the root of the tree, which longs to bear its fruit with joy.So, from a cloudless blue sky comes a dark and threatening twister,and from the gut of this storm appears a snake. He is turned intohimself, forced through a mirrored window, spun into a round mask,transported through a golden crystal to be reborn into the magnificent serpent that his essence demands. In histeeth he holds the thread, a kite string with a colorfuldiamond flying high, and at the other end, a rose, thepromise of love, floating openly in the wind,impermanent and sweet. The raven has returned togive his blessing and the home (yurt) below is warm,though it was the source of the twisted smoke allalong, the family, childhood, all the lost dreams andconfusion.There is a moment of tearing the sky away toreveal the true color of the sun, to cover all the darkforests and old memories of youth with a blanket ofstarlit symbols. I am the one who must make thishappen, this tearing away to see behind the illusion Iwas lost in. I am naked and hairless, giving the Phoenix bird his colors, cleansing the waters of their filth, spillingtears.And there he is, the grandfather of my lineage, casting all doubts away and taking me on a journey tosome unknown gathering. It may be Hazrat Inayat Khan, my light figure, or is it Hafiz, turning seriousness intoabsurdity, revealing the gift within the illusory suffering. No matter, it is a whirling dervish dancing to the stars,holding the full moon as if it were his drum, casting seeds to the waters of mystery, feeding the serpent who livesbeneath his dress. A tree grows there and becomes the wise raven once again, reborn to the night sky who is itsbrother. The great cycle of losing and remembering all that is held in the long arms of our soul is there, for theeyes are focused only on the mirror pool where questions of spirit turn into pure light.When I awaken from sleep, there is darkness all around. I grab my staff of lightning and pursue thedemon who has tried so many times to strangle me. His poison grabs me at the back of the neck, it is fear in its195

full potency, attacking me as if from a tainted arrow. So I take my dagger and dig out that infected blood. At last,the raven messenger takes this fear from my mind and carries it away to be burned in the sun. I am free and Iregain my balance to stand straight and walk forward into the darkness with my lighted torch to guide me. Theserpent is underfoot.The light brings the day, and there, in the field, is the tree. But it looks different. It has no trunk, itsbranches arranged in a circular form. I realize I am seeing it from beneath the ground and it is growing up out ofmy belly. It is the tree of life, this life, filled with all the stories and memories of what has brought me here. I findtears and laughter as I gaze upward into this great adventure I feel so alive within me. And, like the universe, thetree is expanding, growing more to hold the stories yet to be lived. A tree is like that, always catching storiesfrom the wind.The circle of branches shifts and spins, morphing into aperfect circle. From the center comes a tiny blossom, the soul,and from there a grand flower is born. Its petals spin against eachother, generating some deep force of being. They are playful andfull of color, twelve petals, holding all the elements in their juices.And there, at the edge of the circle, is the luminous ball of focusfrom which all of perception is organized. I have given it a life inform, a color and vibration, and now it can be taken hold of andmoved to other places in the circular body to shift the view ofperception, to offer a spectrum of infinite awareness within thecosmic spheres.This idea of making something workable by giving it formis a fascinating concept. It gives me a great sense of power totouch in to the unconscious part of myself through the creativeprocess and, as image or form emerges, I am offered theopportunity to take hold of these self-aspects and work withthem as a means of healing and awakening. I especially enjoy taking hold of these images or forms and placingthem outside myself to allow them to look back on me and feel them as separate from the “I” that fights so hardto maintain control over all aspects, even if they are no longer needed or are simply false beliefs disguised astruths. When I grabbed hold of the luminous ball in my mandala and held it out in front of me I felt a strangesense of wholeness. I’m not sure why because it was not anintellectual awareness, but it was as if I could see my totalityfrom outside, giving me a perspective so rarely achievedfrom within. And when I then took the ball back and placedit inside the mandala, there was a sense of resolution withinthe foundation of my being. I’m starting to see the power ofimage and symbol.This kind of “play” with the luminous ball of myperception has me look at the larger energy field thatsurrounds my body, as made aware to me in class. I havebeen experimenting with this field by touching different196

parts of it according to intuitive prompts. I’ve found some interestingresults, especially working with this recurring sensation behind my leftear. As I moved around the auric field and touched various places, Icould sense certain shifts in energy, and at times, I even felt a suddenrelief from the discomfort in my head. It was as if something wasreleased or dissipated from that area. In the next class I wasrecommended to touch that part of the field with one hand whiletouching another part with the other hand to find a balancing energythat would help manifest whatever it was I was wanting to create inrelation to this feeling of release from discomfort. So I experimentedwith this and, while touching the left side point on the field, Ivisualized a kind of cloth handle, like the corner of a large piece offabric, up in the top right corner of my field. I could feel its softnessand the vast potential of whatever it was attached to. Perhaps it wassome sort of sail or parachute designed to catch the wind. I felt its pullon my arm, excited by where it might want to take me, in a directionaway from the pain in my head that had been keeping me trapped in fear and doubt. I further explored this fieldwork by actually moving my whole body with the same intuitive guidance. This somatic approach pushed theboundaries of unseen blockages and contractions to potentially reconfigure these energy patterns into moreharmonious arrangements. It became like a personal style of tai chi based on sensations in the body rather thanon traditional moves. I felt an opening of the field.Perhaps this is what has brought me tothe birth of my final mandala. The energy fieldaround my body first appears as an egg shape,quickly overgrown with flowering vines frombelow. The open space within takes on a luminousglow of blues and purples. Spirit is alive there,awaiting the arrival of some physical reflection ofmyself, but it is slow in coming. I close my eyes tosee from another place inside. There are wings,not of the raven this time, but white and brown,like a hawk, or an angel. Then I am there too,falling in between the wings, hairless with eyesclosed. But suddenly it seems I have not comefrom above, but below, for my feet are roots, asthough I’ve been torn from the deepest earth,almost dripping with moisture, beetles andworms. Have I ripped myself from that embeddedplot of identity where I’ve lived so many lives, thatsense of security that practically swallowed me asa slave to the common dream? There is a struggle197

of the wings to keep my earthly weight airborne, a sense of heaviness, but the air is thin and good forflying. I am suspended there, waiting for the next piece of this story to appear. But there is nothing,except a snake hanging from the vines above, perhaps waiting to strike, or to transform this journey ofchange I’ve commenced. So I wait, but still nothing.Suddenly, I am overwhelmed with fear and doubt. Death comes to visit, for my vulnerability is obvious,alone there in that silent bubble with eyes closed, barely able to lift myself up from the roots of depression.Where are all the friends and lovers I always counted on to give me some feeling of inclusion, some illusion that Iam not really alone or so afraid? I distract myself with another mandala, for it is clear that the first one is not theright one. How could a “final” expression be so full of fear? But I am quickly drawn back to this winged man whohas more to teach me. With patience I await the arrival of some symbolic salvation. The crescent moon appearsfrom the corner to remind me that it is nighttime, the sandbox of shadows and dreams. But I call out for the onething that will help this struggling man to stay aloft. A shock of lightning flashes from the wing and gives birth toa rose. There is power now, for the intentionality of this bird-man has manifested the golden light of the heavens.He is gaining an authenticity that frees him from the confines of his fears, a sense of genuine strength and trustin the path. But still the final piece is yet to take form. And then I see it. It’s his top hat, the protection for his baldhead. But the wind has taken it and it floats there above him like a velvet hummingbird, and from its mysteriousred interior pours forth the cool and flowing waters of pure wisdom and trust. The man is receptive to thissudden shower of intuition, calmed and guided by the spiritual rains of his higher knowing which shall forever beavailable to him as he soars onward into the unknown. At last the mandala is complete, for the facets of itsreflective form have found their harmony and union. The story is now brought to light, available to the next stageof the journey, the next shadow of the spiral evolution of consciousness. This man is I.So I walk on, watching, listening, feeling and dreaming into what I was destined to forget. The path ofremembrance is a rich and fantastic experience that gives voice to the daimons who guide me toward the pointat which all becomes understood. I watched them during class, flying around the room, moving between handsand eyes, cast about by spoken words and strange sounds. I discovered a whole world lying just behind mywaking reality, mostly during those moments when I “left” the conversation and ventured into the inner sanctumof my subconscious. It was there that a pure voice could speak to me from somewhere that I recognize as so veryancient and wise, a voice I was carrying all along, but had forgotten and neglected. Now I understand what thatstudent had said to you about the power of leaving what is structured and expected, such as a classroom setting,and allowing the soul to discover its own path of awakening wherever that may be. It was not boredom ortiredness. It was giving space to the unseen by no longer looking, but by feeling, by listening, by acknowledgingthe profound forces of my own energetic destiny. The map of both consciousness and of the homes of theseinfinite archetypal forces has now been revised for the greater good of all. Thank you for this gift. (G, class 2009)198

Archetypal IntegrationThe first piece of art I did, in response to the colors meditation, had thefirst signs of what would become central themes in my art throughoutthe quarter. Included in this are the entire rainbow of colors, the imageof a Void-heart with light surrounding it and a point of light in the center(paralleled in the larger image by the dark background, light center, anda dot in the center of the image that has rays of light radiating out of it),and a figure in the center.In the second piece, I combined the twelve images from the inclassexercise (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual – two positiveimages, one negative image) into a single picture, which I consider myfirst mandala. My initial impression once it was done was that it wasincredibly chaotic. Looking back, however, I can see that there were justsome things that needed to get cleared up. I can also see the emergence ofan important image – the solar rays surrounding the Void-heart. Alsoimportant was the channel open to inspiration (indicated by the blue comingdown from the top of the page, into the third eye, and radiating out into theimage) – this illumination and capacity to receive Divine guidance supportedme throughout the class. When I made art, I just got out of the way and let itflow. One other image that returned in the mystery school meditation wasthe column of crystalline light running through the figure.The next several images felt like a series of important process pieces, which greatly transformedthe imagery from the first mandala.The first piece was the result of doing the Golden Triangle exercise (Waterman, 2011, p?) duringthe weekend class. My two polarities were feeling like I need to finish the program at Southwestern(represented by a huge clock in the downstairs classroom), and feeling like I need to be out in the world,doing my work now (represented by a small, green vine). When I allowed the two polarities to rise upthe triangle and come together, what resulted was a thriving tree with a brilliant central sun. Our destinyso called moves through us as grace. It is natural. When our ego grabs it, we feel self important and thisactreduces us to an idea of ourselves. There had been flowers andfruit onthe tree, and at the top of the triangle, they all fell off, andbecamethe background and incredible unfolding potentialities all overtheplace (represented by the blue background, and the light-filledopening purple pod-like images). From this exercise, I realizedthat Ineed to stay at Southwestern for the second year and completetheprogram, and that it will greatly serve me. That tension I hadfeltaround that totally eased as I became clear and the polaritiescollapsed into unity.199

The next image was from the meditation on the sacred heart. Theimage that came to me is the one I use for the experience I’ve been callingVoid-heart (feeling the Infinite Potentiality of God in the heart, surroundedby light). An important distinction in this piece is that, in the center dotthat has been coming up, there were many tiny points of color. I feltreluctant to explore that, and even wanted to deny its existence, because Iunderstood Void-heart/Sacred Heart, but had no reference for the dot.In the Inner Mystery School meditation, the school itself was anenormous column of crystalline light, the symbol of my school was anempty golden circle, and the guide in the inner sanctuary was a column ofthe same crystalline light as the school. When I merged with the centralcolumn of light, I first heard, “Glory to God in the highest!” over and over. Then came a question – “Willyou penetrate into the deeper mysteries?” I said, “Yes,” and I suddenly became a feeling of extreme loveand oneness, heart and mind fully unified. When I set the intention to draw the experience, what camefirst was a golden circle (like mymystery school symbol), with blueinside it, leading toward a pure-whitecenter. I then drew it on a form – abust radiating light with the circle onforehead and heart (visually depictedas two things, but actually only one –HeartMind). I wasn’t able to representit accurately on paper. At the throatwas a Star of David/Merkaba, with ageometric form in the center of thestar, representing creation – “the Wordbecome flesh.” While researchingsymbols for writing this paper, I found that this image is almost the same as what disciples of Yoganandacall the “Spiritual Eye” or “Christ Center.” (Ananda, 2009). This helped me to understand that what Iwas depicting was Christ Consciousness. According to Swami Kriyananda, focusing on this center attunesthe entire consciousness to light (Ananda, 2009), reflected later in the discussion of “rainbow body.”The next two pieces were from the process where we were asked to depict a before-experienceafterwhere we were left worse than when we started, and one where we were left better than westarted. The first depicted incarnation, feeling my parents' feelings about me, and deciding that theworld was a bad place. The next was the experience of having had great spiritual realization and psychicopening, but not being grounded and connected with the earth and physical life, then discovering healingwork, then feeling more balanced and grounded. This reminded me of how far I’ve come – something Isometimes forget to acknowledge or honor. Gratitude is the greatest guide.200

The next two pieces were fromthe assignment to draw a problem, drawit solved, and then draw the way to get tothe solution in the center. (In myreflection, it felt clear that the healedstate allows for the pathway to get to thehealed state to come into being.) The firstimage was a problematic formerfriendship.Part of the problem wasthinking that it was a heartentanglement,but discovering that it was actually a third-chakra connection – power, control, concernwith worldly appearance. The solution was the cord of the relationship cleared, the relationshipreleased, and seeing the other with love. The path to the solution that came to me was meeting therelationship (and its cord) with love, and clearing the cord, connecting it to my essence, and allowingwhatever impulse regarding the relationship that arises from my essence to inform how the relationshipends. (This relationship has since ended, which feels even more clear as I write it.)In the second piece, my problem was feeling a conflictbetween having and nothaving financial resourcesneeded to live the way I wantto live, and also betweentrusting that it will come (butbeing afraid ofdisappointment), and trying toforce it (but becoming wornout and stressed in the process). The solution panel was having my consciousness aligned, heart andmind united (depicted by the Christ Consciousness symbol of gold/blue/white circle), and knowing thateverything I need is already provided, here and now and that I am in the flow of Divine Abundance. Thepath to that solution was letting go, aligning my consciousness, and feeling myself being fully providedfor by Divine Supply. I am continuing to practice this.The next piece was the response to watching the slideshow of other people’s final mandalas. Theimage that came to me was the image that would become the central figurein one of my final mandalas – the gold/blue/white circle, surrounded by thesun (perhaps symbolizing the Solar Logos, in addition to light, warmth, andDivine Radiance). Here the sun has eight spokes, which can indicate cardinaldirections and lunar phases (Cunningham, 2002, p. 89) – cycles of life – and isalso reminiscent of the Buddhist dharma wheel.After that experience, I worked on my second mandala, and I wasamazed by how different it was from my first mandala. After several weeksof process, finding gratitude and love for even my most difficult experiences,and personal reflection and introspection, it had gone from being a chaotic,201

even seemingly tortured, figure, to being a luminous, harmoniousfigure. Heart and mind had the gold/blue/white circle with four sunrays coming from each. The figure was dark (Void) and radiant(surrounded by light, standing in a column of gold and violet light).At the throat, another Star of David/Merkaba, symbolizing creativepower, Word become/becoming Flesh. Inside the figure were theopen kundalini channels (kundalini rising was an experience thatwas both ecstatic and deeply painful), with wings at the third eye(psychic opening was another experience that was both liberatingand deregulating), forming the caduceus (symbolizing healing, adiscovery in my life that began uniting many different parts ofmyself and helping me unfold and settle on the physical plane).The next piece was even more radiant – a tall, dark figure,surrounded by a rainbow halo and light, and each sun with eight points. This piece felt like it was almostright. The curriculum of life, good and bad experiences all, had beenmet with gratitude and love, and had so become the rainbow halo.Instead of being chaotic and wild, they became ordered andbeautiful. The light from the suns, and the light around the figure,was greater. Something, however, was still missing, and I didn’tknow what. It wasn’t quite it. Something hadn’t come together allthe way yet.I was listening to Byron Katie while making the piece, andwhile contemplating what was missing, Katie worked with a womanwho had been raised Mormon, but, as she said, had realized that the“truth” they had been giving her was wrong, so she left the church.Katie told her that the Mormons had given her the truth – theperfect truth for her, in fact – because what they gave her led her towhere she was today, to going home within herself. I had been raised Baptist, and had a similarexperience. Suddenly, I realized that they had given me the Truth, because it led me home to my Self –and I experienced true gratitude for all of my conservative Christian upbringing. I immediately startedthe next mandala, one of my two final mandalas.Two of the most notable changes were that the figure disappeared entirely. No longer restrictedto third-dimensional depictions, the two gold/blue/white and solar symbols snapped together andbecame one (which, in reality, they always were). The Christ Center/Christ Consciousness/Sun/SolarLogos had taken the central position, surrounded by the rainbow halo. The rainbow halo is often foundin Buddhist art, particularly around Buddhas (i.e. Amitabha) and Bodhisattvas (i.e. Avalokiteshvara).Buddhist color symbolism includes the concept of the rainbow body, the highest state attainable in theworld of form – the point at which matter is becoming Light (“Color symbolism in Buddhism, ” ReligionFacts, 2009). In the background, as the foundation for it all, is the image that represents the Voidheart/SacredHeart/Essence. Around the edges are stars, indicating Spirit (as represented by all theaforementioned images) interpenetrating, and as, form. With this in mind, the rainbow could also202

epresent the Rainbow Bridge – a concept in many culturesthat symbolizes bridging the different worlds and levels ofcreation, or in this case, bridging Created and Uncreated.This image feels like curriculum mandala, in that it containsthe loved and appreciated life experience, and thecharacter/destiny mandala, in that it shows who I am at avery deep level.My second final mandala came from the question,“What’s next?” after finishing my first final mandala. It feltvery Buddhist, and also very me. The upper image, in gold, islike the Zen image enso – symbolizing the Supreme,Emptiness, Infinite Potential, Enlightenment, Radiance(Shambhala Publications, 2009). It is also a solar image –Solar Logos, Radiance, Warmth. At the top of the circle is alion’s head – the lion was one of the symbols of the Buddha(“Buddhist art,” Religion Facts, 2009). Astrologically, thecircle also represents my essence in expression – my sun sign is Leo, warm and radiant, and the circle alsolooks like a crescent moon, the phase of the moon I was born under. All of this is grounded by the bluemountain, earthy and stable, which calls to mind the Zen teaching about mountains (Before Zen, themountains are mountains. Practicing Zen, the mountains are no longer mountains. After Zen, themountains are mountains.). Both images have form, but are empty – allowing Light, the Infinite, to pourthrough freely. All of these resonate with my lifejourney and who I am and am becoming more andmore. (Really, not becoming, but dissolvingbarriers to expressing what is already there.)Central imagery in both mandalas is thecircle. In Mandala, Bailey Cunningham, explainsthe circle as the Source, the One, the MonadCunningham, 2002, p.20). Cunningham also calls itthe shape with the power to create all other shapes(Cunningham, 2002, p. 20), which is also describedin Sacred Geometry, by Robert Lawlor, as theprogression from the Unity of the circle, throughthe triangle, to the square as manifest form(Lawlor, 1982, p. 13). Cunningham also calls it “thestarting point of all measure, unity, and wholeness”(Cunningham, 2002, p. 86).This quarter has been an amazing time ofarchetypal exploration and process, and in the end,I discovered my Self. (C, class 2009)203

Chapter TwelveEPILOGUEThe Mandala of the Soul, in all its vibrancy, resonates throughout the matrix of self, clarifying, lifting,activating. As a result of persistent distillation and refinement, the soul mandala is impressive andcarries a sense of consecration. It invites us to pass through it into further evolution. It is not static. Weare movement. The mirror is a moving multidimensional holographic reflection of the greatunconscious—appearing static only in our persistent fantasy and our need to pretend constancy bymanipulating life’s reflected metaphor. Through the lens of soul, the mirror becomes transparent, andlove looks back at us through the archetypal fabric of the universe, of earth, of right this moment. Themandala codes inform process as well as structure. In this sense, the process is not an icon to set inplace a religious cosmology, though it may be informative and even enlightening to do so. The creativeprocess provides a vehicle in which we travel through our own inner realms, making the unconsciousconscious. In the Mandala Process, the inner and outer metaphor choreograph the seamlessrelationship between our radiant inner reality and reflected sojourn through life. Life is our conveyancethrough eternity. A conveyance upon which we travel from fear to courage, from shame to blessing,from young to mature, from poverty to abundance, from group soul to enlightenment, from life to life,universe to universe, everlasting to everlasting.Within The Studio experience, we become more familiar with the unconscious realm as thecradle for archetypal construction and movement. The seeds of creation are incubated in this place;insemination comes from a deeper place within the great mystery that some call the heart of God.Some people believe we emerged from the earth, and some from the stars. Trust the metaphor. Starconceived; gestation occurred in the womb of earth emerging as will into the infant body. We emergedfrom earth into self-consciousness. Thus made, we walk upon this earth with one design, and that is toknow all, be all and fulfill the gift of soul. Yet, we sense an earlier origin within a deep mystery, a greatlove traveling through eternity to know itself. It was the archetype of sky and earth that brought usbefore the cosmic mirror so that we might know the fullness of self. We knew how to make. We did notknow how to transform. We worked our way up from the least of these. Star dust and earth dust beganthe same. Through the phylum, we emerged one day self conscious. Now it is time for grace.Whatever we think or visualize in the unconscious realm becomes our reality. For millennium,we have chosen and decided in response to life, and consciously forgotten. These forgotten forms havelodged in the unconscious, sprouting into realities to be lived and realized. As well, we have placedthere our hopes, dreams and karma to be resolved. Each lifetime, we envision the constituency of selfthat will be our virtues, talents, skills and empowerment for that life. The unconscious is our place ofemergence, within the deep soil of magnetic potential beneath our feet ,and the sky formed by thecosmic mirror reflecting our destined way. We are responsible. We reap the consequence of ourreproductive proliferation. We live to reconcile and restore—return to love and grace.Then there is the spirit, the great ocean of love that is unconditional and formless and thatsustains and animates all that is. Consider the mandala in the analogy of a tree that is calm in the stillair. When the wind blows, the leaves rustle and the tree sways. We feel the movement and hear the204

sound, just as the wind is invisible and so is the spirit. Beyond the form is the primordial current thatmoves this process. The process itself has made us more aware of the sense of self that is the origin ofthis experience we call self. The Mandala Process demonstrates to us our relationship to our originsthrough our experience. We are moved by the current and transformed by it.The Mandala of the Soul represents a cohering matrix. The process corrects, aligns and balancesdisparate information that has confused, separated and distracted us from our true self. Making artunfolds in the microcosm of The Studio. We witness and participate in the evolution of the mandalaform. The Mandala of the Soul, in its entire archetypal ascendency, is the magnetic self, the suprapersonalitythat we hold together through our conscious awareness and the play between outercircumstances and inner substance. From it we learn identity, choice, awareness. We awaken. It reflectsthe soul, yet is not the soul.As strong and vibrant as it is, the matrix of the soul mandala can be manipulated again byexternal forces or internal transformation. Only the soul is impervious to theft, even though it can bewaylaid by ambition, lust and greed—the children of fear. We draw our attention, then, to somethingmore substantial and eternal. The invisible force that cannot be distorted, that exists as force andpresence. As we follow the process and consecrate the Mandala of the Soul, we experience a growing,solidifying presence that conveys the truth of self, the origins of self, and the salvation of self. Love ispresent as a deep sense of who and what we are, the nature of our kinship, our role and our belongingin life. We have come to one place in the cosmology of self and all that is truth. We are the individual,self conscious experience of universal love. This is what we are delivered to and left with. The Mandalaof the Soul is a signature of self and an epigram of the many ways love shows itself in form. Because ofthis, the Mandala Process supports the actualizing of soul in life, acting as a guide home to self.From an archetypal perspective, we took our format from the primal archetypal form ofKadmon, as the seed pattern for the inner Christ, Buddha, Krishna becoming. By so doing, we alignedour present formation with the imperative of the first cause, transforming the intriguing combinationsinto which our curiosity led us. At times debilitating and destructive and at other times inspiring,healing, constructive, and elevating, we now take responsibility for the innuendos and curvatures of ourconsciousness that spawned unintended consequences as if they were intended consequences.Responsibility restores our access to loving power; blame does not. Blame binds us to theeffect, and in that place there is no power for transformation- only power to make another version ofthe same. In responsibility, we stand up in our essence, a soul force; we are the power oftransformation. There is nothing to fix. The Mandala Process changes reality.In the cradle of the unconscious, we create, promote or allow. What grows in the garden of thecradle is harvested in the world. We look at war, famine, pestilence, greed and various other activitiesthat arise from the inappropriate connection of our holiness to the material world, and that spawnreversal expressions in our daily life. We know our responsibility. Transformation comes from acceptingall and forgiving all. When I stand in my higher self and look upon the world, all that I see and own is myresponsibility. I must, in all love, in all grace and gratitude, say to life, to all people at all times,dimensions and places, “Please forgive me. I love you. I forgive myself for this lifetime and all the othersand for all of my genetic relatives and ancestors, for their own sake and for how they live in me.” Theforgiveness is not for the personality, the ego; that is too small. The magnitude and gravity of this205

esponsibility is overwhelming, too much to carry. For that, we turn also to our person, the ego with ourname, and say to it, “I appreciate all that I have asked you to endure for my sake. Please forgive me, andI love you, and I forgive myself for this lifetime and all the others and all the genetic relatives andancestors, for their own sake and for how they live in me.” Through these acts, we come full circle. Weemerged from living love into experience and it is through the resolution of living love that we return.Thus completed is the Mandala of the Soul.So, we begin anew just now. It is a new day and a new dawn. The universe has its plan andapproaches silently, for it is of the silence. Permeating the cells of our bodies, caressing the filament ofour thought, enfolding our hearts, it just one day appears. We are ready. Who am I thus? I movethroughout the starry sky and I am present, looking through these eyes into our eyes. What do you wantto do now? No hurry. The world we came to serve configures itself around us. Life is not made ofregrets. More truthfully, life is a checklist of all the things we needed or wanted to do, to complete andresolve, so that when this day came, we would be ready to respond with love and service to this world,as it is given, at this time. What shall we do today? Shall we watch to see what life wants to do, joiningthe places where love is making life more abundant, grace filled, healthy and good?Come sit in The Studio. Take up the brush, the crayon; touch the line and shape of color to theendless paper of life. In this movement, this gesture, you open the sacred heart; grace moves upon thedeep places. As the tide moves, all the forgotten artifacts of love, hate, war, famine, prosperity andascendency wash up onto the shore. Let the tidal flow leave only gold. All else goes back to the sea. Seeall and dare all. Thus the Mandala Process enters the alchemical transformation, yielding the Mandala ofthe Soul.Life gives itself to you. Give yourself to life. We are center and circumference.206

REFRENCESBohm, D Wholeness and the Inplicate Order. New York: Routledge, 1998.Bucke, R.M. Cosmis Consciousness. New York: Arkana Books, 1991.Close, E R. Transcendental Physics. Jackson, MO: Paradigm Press, 1997.Castenada, C. The Art of Dreaming. New York, NY: HarpersCollins Publishers, 1993.Curry, H. The Way of the Labyrinth. New York: Penguin, 2000.Cunningham, Bailey (2002). Mandala: Journey to the Center. New York, NY: DK Publishers.Doczi, G. The Power of Limits. Boulder: Shambhala, 1981.Fontana, David (1994). The Secret Language of Symbols. San Francisco, CA: Chronicle Books, 1994.Harris, B, and J B Spurlock. Paul Riceur: Key to Husserl’s Ideas. Milwaukee: Marquette University Press,1999.Hillman, J. The Soul’s Code. New York: Random House, 1996.Ihde, D. Experimental Phenomenology. New York: Putnam, 1977.Jung, Cg (1957). The Undiscovered Self. United States: New American Library; a division of the PenguinGroup.Jung, CG. Dreams, Memoirs and Reflections. 1963.Khan, HI. Spiritual Dimensions of Psychology. New Lebanona, NY: Omega Press, 1981.Melchizedek, D. The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life, Vol One, Two. Flagstaff, Az: Light TechnologyPublishing, 2000.Lawlor, R. Sacred Geometry: Philosophy and Practice. London: Thames and Hudson, 1982, 2003.McIntosh, SI. The Golden Mean. Boulder, CO: Now & Zen, Inc., 1997.Odajnyk, W V. Gathering the Light: A psychology of Meditation. Boston: Shambahla Publication, Inc,1993.Shelley, V. Symbol and the Self. Virginia Beach: ARE Press, 1965.Snowden, R. Teach Yourself Jung. United States: McGraw-Hill Companies, 2006.207

Strauss, M. Understanding Children’s Drawings: Tracing the Path of Incarnation. Hillside House, TheSquare Forest Row. RH85ES: Rudolf Steiner Press, 2007.Thondup, T. The Healing Power of Mind. Boston: Shambahala Publications, Inc, 1998.Vaughn, F. The Inward Arc. United States: Shamballa, 1995Waterman, Robert D. (2010). Mandala of the Soul. United States: Privately Published.Waterman, Robert D. (2010). Eyes Made of Soul. United States: Xlibris Corporation.Wilhelm, Richard (1975). The Secret of the Golden Flower. United States: Causway Books.208

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